When life changes the rules

 

Sometimes, life changes because we decide it should. Sometimes, it changes because circumstances leave us no choice. And sometimes, we think we want a change, but something internally has not really moved yet.

Whatever the reason, sooner or later we will have to adapt.

Think about something as ordinary as giving someone your phone number. A few decades ago, you might have given your home or office landline. Today, almost automatically, you give your cell phone number. In fact, some people probably wonder why you would still have a landline at all.

It sounds trivial, but it says something important about human beings: we are constantly adapting to new realities.

The interesting question is not whether our reality will change, because it will. The more important question is how consciously we adapt when it does.

There are at least three ways this can happen.

Sometimes the change comes from within.

    We become aware of something, change an attitude, discover a different way of living, or go through an experience that profoundly changes the way we see ourselves and the world. When that happens, adaptation begins with us. If I say, “I am the architect of my life”, then I also have to accept the responsibility that comes with being such an architect.

A new awareness eventually needs a new way of living. For example, if I decide that I want to live a more spiritual life, the decision itself is not enough. My priorities, habits, relationships and even the way I respond to difficulties may have to change. It will require effort, a new architecture plan. But there is something very satisfying about making changes that come from a conscious decision as the effort has meaning, it is connected to something I have chosen.

Sometimes, however, the change comes from outside.

    The world changes, circumstances change, other people change, technology changes and suddenly, we find ourselves living in a reality we did not choose.

Artificial intelligence is a good example: it is already changing the way many people work, learn and create. The natural reaction can be fear, resistance or simply trying to keep doing things exactly as before.

But there is another possibility: stop, reflect, understand what is happening and empower ourselves to respond.

The question then is not simply, “How do I adapt to AI?”. We can add: “How do I use AI without allowing it to define who I am, what I contribute or what my future should be?”

The same principle applies to many changes we do not control. Before adapting automatically, it is worth understanding the new reality and asking what needs to change in us and what should not.

Remember: “I am the architect of my life.”

Sometimes we feel that we need a change, but we have not yet understood what really needs to change, we don’t have the resources or the training.

    This is a third possibility, perhaps the most subtle one. Imagine someone who is unhappy at work and decides to look for another job. That may be exactly what is needed. But it may also be an attempt to escape a problem that will simply reappear somewhere else.

Is the problem the organization? The culture? The leadership? The environment? The lack of purpose? The way the person relates to work? Or something deeper?

Changing the workplace may change the circumstances without changing the paradigm.

This is where self-reflection becomes so important. Clarity often needs to come before action. Otherwise, we can make a significant external change while carrying exactly the same internal patterns into our new reality.

“I am the architect of my life” becomes useful once again, not as a statement (I control everything), but as a reminder that I can define much of how I understand, respond to and shape my experience. Perhaps I will need different resources or training, sometime to sit and reflect, but that is in my hands.

We cannot always choose what changes around us. However, we can become more conscious of what is happening within us while we adapt.

 

Managing imbalances

 

There is a dynamic in life that we sometimes forget: a constant play between balance and imbalance. We seek stability, of course, but that does not mean that all imbalances are negative or that we should eliminate them immediately.

On a path of self-progress, different forms of instability can appear. We can become socially isolated, work too much, be going through a major change, start a new job or a new stage of life, or simply find ourselves in a situation whose duration and outcome we do not know.

Therefore, perhaps the first step is not to fight against the imbalance, but to understand it. What kind of imbalance am I experiencing? Is it temporary? Is it a consequence of a voluntary change? Is it harming my life? Or perhaps it is showing that I need to build a new form of balance?

Some imbalances last a few hours, days or months. In these cases, calmness and tranquility can be great allies, and also proactivity and creativity. It is not just a matter of waiting for the situation to end, but of discovering what I can do while I am living it.

Other imbalances may last longer. Think, for example, of starting a new job or a new career. For a period of time, it may be necessary to learn, change habits, adapt to new demands and accept that not everything will be under control. There, resilience becomes important, but so does the support of other people. A coach, a relative or a friend can offer a different view, specifically if one's vision is clouded by the situation.

And there are imbalances that seem to have no clear deadline. In these cases, it is worth investigating, observing and better understanding what is happening. Not all imbalances are necessarily bad. Some may be precisely the track to a healthier, longer-lasting and more authentic balance.

Of course, there are also instabilities that do harm. Toxic uncertainty, for example, can consume a lot of energy. At this point, self-leadership comes into play: we can't always control circumstances, but we can look for alternatives, make decisions and keep moving forward instead of getting stuck waiting for everything to go back to normal.

Meditation can be another great ally. Not because it will magically make external imbalances disappear, but it can help us find a point of internal stability from which to face them in a different way. When the outside world is constantly changing, having a more stable inner space can make a huge difference.

Along with all of the above, it may be necessary to look at something even broader and more impactful: one's own lifestyle. In addition to meditating, it can be useful to review habits, diet, physical exercise routine, the way we work, rest, relationships and even the way we are using our time and energy.

Finally, there is something else that can profoundly transform that inner space: gratitude. A true wave of gratitude can change how we observe what we are experiencing. It does not mean denying the difficulties or reaffirming that everything is fine when it is not. It is also recognizing what is working, the permanent, the lessons and the possibilities that we still have.

Perhaps balance does not consist in living without imbalances as it is customary to think. Perhaps it means learning to go through them without losing our focus.

Life will continue to have movements, changes and uncertainties. And our self-progress does not depend on avoiding all these experiences, but on developing the skills to live them in an increasingly conscious, stable and healthy way.

 

To listen, a transformative force

 

It is not something we naturally learn, and yet listening may be one of the most valuable soft skills we can develop.

Think about its practical impact.

• Parenting. Instead of speaking, correcting or trying to explain everything, experiment with listening to your children. Much of what they say may seem irrelevant… but in between, there is a treasure. By listening, you begin to understand who they are, beyond their behavior.
• Therapy and crisis. Few things are as powerful as offering someone the space to be heard, to listen without interrupting, rushing to fix or the need to conclude. Sometimes, what the other person truly needs is not advice, but relief - the simple act of emptying the heart.
• Friendship. Listening strengthens bonds. With friends, neighbors or colleagues, it is not about remaining silent all the time, but about sensing the right moment to speak or to be quiet, a balance that creates trust.
• Reflection. There is also someone essential to listen to: yourself. Through meditation, journaling or quiet pauses, an inner dialogue emerges. Learning to listen to that soundless voice is one of the most meaningful acts of personal development.

Listening, is not passive. It is an active, intentional act of presence. To listen deeply is to give attention without interference. It is to reduce the inner commentary that constantly wants to interpret, judge or respond.

Many times, while someone is speaking, the mind is already preparing an answer, agreeing, disagreeing or drifting away. To listen is to control the mind and focus.

But as in anything, there are aspects that should be avoided; we may call them subtle traps: interrupting internally, evaluating too quickly, filtering everything through personal opinions, being emotionally affected, being exploited by the speaker and by having your own voice denied.

Real listening requires a certain humility, a willingness to pause and truly embrace the other with your heart. Add a high self-esteem that will keep equilibrium internally.

And if you need another point to develop this soft skill, what about this: by listening more, concentration naturally improves and attention becomes sharper. These byproducts will influence other areas of life making your conversations richer, relationships more genuine and a clarity about your personal purpose.

This is why listening can be transformative; not because it changes others, but because it changes the quality of your own life.

Do you trust the way you deal with things?

 

I was thinking recently about how we manage our own life - not in big philosophical terms, but in very simple things. Objects. Meetings. Walking around the block.

And I’ve noticed something: things have become… a bit more complicated.

Since COVID, my way of managing time has slowly worsened. It used to feel almost natural, almost precise. Now it feels heavier, fragmented. And I don’t think I’m the only one. Many people seem to be struggling with how to handle their own “stuff”.

In my case, just after or during the pandemic, I created new routines, new activities, new ways of using my time. It made sense then. But now, with in-person life fully back, everything is overlapping. What worked before is now creating friction.

Maybe each person has a different version of this story. But the feeling is similar: something in the way we manage our lives needs an update.

And here is the interesting part.

We don’t just manage things - we develop a way of managing them. Almost like a personal operating system: you learn it, you refine it and without noticing… it becomes a habit.

Like someone who walks their dogs always the same way, at the same hour, with the same route. It works. Until one day, it doesn’t. The dogs change, the environment changes or simply life asks for a different rhythm.

And yet, we tend to keep doing the same, ignoring the signs, avoiding to face the new reality or because we don’t know what to do.

Reality, however, doesn’t wait. Technology shifts, social dynamics evolve, and health, priorities, even our inner motivations… they all move. Quietly, but constantly.

And suddenly, the way we used to manage life starts to feel outdated.

Maybe changing how we deal with things is harder than dealing with the things themselves.

One option is to tighten control. To micromanage and try to fix everything by paying attention to every small detail gives an interesting sensation. And, paradoxically, this often makes things feel even more overwhelming - as if life had become a collection of tiny, urgent fragments. Emails, for example…

Another option is more subtle and perhaps more challenging: to shift from management to leadership. Management is about handling tasks. Leadership is about setting direction.

When we trust our direction, we don’t need to control every step and we may be allowed some margin. We can make mistakes, we fail or we forget doing something... And we flow, fixing what is needed, changing what is required and enjoying life much more.

Of course, trusting the process doesn’t mean being careless, but to recognize that not everything needs to be tightly held in order to work.

What really needs to change is not the number of things… but the person who is trying to hold them all together. Me, you…

And that change, although uncomfortable, might be exactly what brings things back into balance.

Emotional Burnout…

Sometimes emotions run wild. Often, they are a way of processing reality by throwing outward whatever is inside us - thoughts, feelings, perceptions, worries.

This emotional outpouring usually leads to three possible outcomes:

• A sense of relief, accompanied by understanding or compassion from others.
• A sense of powerlessness, along with indifference - or even opposition - from others.
• A feeling of being completely drained and exhausted, regardless of how others respond.

The first outcome suggests that emotions were expressed in a healthy way. These are constructive emotions, as they contribute to personal well-being and collective harmony.

The second outcome is linked to destructive emotions. They are toxic, create a negative atmosphere and tend to damage relationships.

But what concerns me mostly is the third outcome - when emotions burn a person from the inside.

As a way of processing reality, if this capacity of expressing emotions becomes exhausted or “burnt,” other less healthy mechanisms often take over - such as addictions or compulsive behaviors.

At that point, the person may feel overpowered and defeated. There seems to be no way out, at least on the surface.

To prevent emotional burnout, some helpful approaches include:

• Finding healthy ways to release emotions, such as sports or group therapy.
• Practicing meditation with a proper methodology that fosters emotional regulation, such as mindfulness.
• Making lifestyle changes; sometimes even a simple shift in diet can have a noticeable impact.
• If burnout is approaching - or already present - taking some distance from the source of stress, for example by travelling, may help in the short term.

And finally, there is nothing more calming than speaking with someone who truly listens.

Just do it, it is very important for you and for others.

A Hero’s Journey to Becoming a Diamond

 

You are the hero of your own life – always! Yet, at certain moments, we go beyond our personal needs and act selflessly for others. Then from hero we become a hira.

This is the story of a wealthy jeweler who chose exactly that path. Instead of living a comfortable retirement or a religious one, as was common in old India, Brahma Baba took up the mantle of being his own hero.

All of us play the role of hero in our lives, but not everyone realizes it. A hero navigates life boldly, discovering new inner lands, helping others with courage and shaping reality instead of waiting for it to change.

Brahma Baba was one of the few who recognized this. He founded an organization that today serves millions around the world. Rather than waiting for transformation in a harsh world, he planted a seed - and watched a garden grow.

He faced obstacles, even from those he wished to help. It was then the coal - the ordinary human striving to do good - underwent the final fire of transformation and became a hira, a shining diamond.

We too carry that potential within us. We can be our own heroes and, at times, heroes for others. But very few shine like Brahma - a hero for others, an angel for millions.

 

Today, I invite you to be your own hero.
Today, I invite you to begin becoming a hira.

How can you like what is unlikeable?

 

I remember many years ago, someone cooked a sweet dish that I really didn’t like. In fact, it was horrible for my taste - and for a friend’s too. As he used to work in a food company, he immediately knew what to do: lots of chocolate over it! At last, we could eat it.
Many aspects of our lives seem to require lots of chocolate just to be livable.

Because the tendency is this: when we face something we don’t like, someone who doesn’t agree with us, or situations that are clearly not working as they “should”, we instinctively think that should change. The other person. The circumstances. Reality itself.

And yet, very often, that wish is unrealistic.

The reality is rather uncomfortable: we truly have control over just one thing in the whole universe - ourselves. And even that comes with effort, strength and a good dose of humility.

From an Eastern perspective, something quite radical is suggested: instead of fighting life, we endeavor to embrace it as it is. Not as resignation, but as clarity that is born from resilience. Seeing things clearly, without denial and an unnecessary drama.

If possible, of course, change the ingredients, adding a bit more of “chocolate” in whatever you are living. If needed, prepare for the future, taking some chocolate with you, just in case.

And always, cultivate flexibility - internally and externally - so that agreements, adjustments and new perspectives can emerge.

Sometimes there is no chocolate to pour on top. Sometimes the dish stays bitter. But the invitation from life is not to like everything, but to stop rejecting it so fiercely. To notice what is happening inside us. To soften. To learn. To grow.

Maybe liking the unlikeable is not about changing the taste of life, but about changing the way we meet it.

Be your own leader… and motivate yourself

 

Leaders motivate - that’s one of their main roles, regardless of the type of leadership they embody.
So, if you are the leader of your own life, shouldn’t you also motivate yourself? Let’s explore this comparison.

• Leading by example. Some leaders motivate simply through their actions. People follow what they see more than what they hear. Think of Gandhi, who reshaped his entire lifestyle so others could walk the path of his ideas.
• Leading with words. Others move the world with powerful speeches or writings. Martin Luther King and Karl Marx, in very different ways, stirred minds and hearts with the strength of their words.
• Leading quietly. Some leaders don’t look extraordinary at first glance, yet their impact is immense. Eunice Paiva, a housewife, changed her own life and transformed her family’s life after her husband was kidnapped; not only that, she became a pioneer in the fight for indigenous rights - opening a whole new field of social change.

Now, what about self-leadership?

• Discipline - no excuses. Sometimes you just have to act. Doing an action sets an example for yourself, proving you truly can.
• Read, write, record. The words you absorb become fuel. The words you express - whether written or spoken - strengthen your values and shape your world.
• Start small, move big. Small steps, especially during challenges, can transform everything. That one move forward might seem ordinary, but it’s enough to create momentum - and motivation to keep going.

Self-leadership is about becoming both the example and the voice that follows. When you learn to inspire yourself, you’ll find that motivation is no longer something you search for - it’s something you generate.

Finding magic in ordinary moments

 

I want to tell you a story. A couple of years ago, I travel in stand-by… I know, many people do that, but I am not so lucky with travels, probably something to do with a karmic account… Anyway, I had to wait for THREE NIGHTS to get a flight. Horrible, right? Yes… and no. You see, someone got a person who could host me near the airport and he went to pick me there too. The first night, an attendant helped us – a big group! – to get out of the airport (it is militarized, so people enter, but it is hard to get out), and so all was OK. The place was fine, food was good, the person was excellent.

The next night, trouble came, but again, a solution; even though no attendant from the airline helped us, one lady was able to get help from another person. This time, however, my host was not happy… still, place was fine, food was good and the person was excellent. During the day, I really prepared my spiritual stage, I did a good meditation, I read a powerful class and, in the night, even though it looked impossible to get a flight, WE GOT IT!

In old stories, represented in books or movies, magic is two things: something impossible takes place and there is the possibility of change. There is wonder and hope, a good energy and new paths. During my stand-by experiment, I saw magic again and again!

So… if we go beyond the need or desire for transforming broccoli into something more interesting, the impossible, then there is the possibility of change; a wonderful change, a motivational hope, a high-level energy and paths that take us to the best places.

And that is the magic I feel in my life and that is the one, which is transformational. The most important thing is that we don’t need to wait for a specific moment for that magic; it is right here, right now!

Do you feel it??

No? I understand… there is the routine, the things that happens in our lives, burying all that magic.

And yet... even in the most repetitive day, something can glow - if we just pause, if we look differently...

So, no need to pretend being part of a fairy tale… no need to imagine things…

Just open your eyes and you will see so much magic!

The Power of Small Things

 

Has a small gesture ever changed your life? When I was a child, I read a book about a boy with a green thumb. Wherever he touched the ground, plants would bloom. That story touched my imagination and shaped my dreams.

Years later, I began to realize that the world is full of green thumb - small gestures, simple actions, kind words, a short video or a few lines of text that create a ripple effect and spark real change.

Yes, I truly believe that big changes can come from small actions. It might be like the butterfly effect, or a domino chain - subtle at first, but powerful in the end.

How? From my experience and observations, I’ve noticed a few important things and here are a few examples:

Sometimes, the biggest changes are not immediately visible. Take climate change, for example. People had been talking about it for decades, but it took a small Scandinavian girl to challenge the world and make it listen. The change she sparked wasn’t just in awareness - people began to act, to shift, to care in more practical ways.

In my case, as a vegetarian, something that used to bother me was that I couldn’t eat cake! I loved cake (past tense…), but traditional recipes required eggs. For years, no cake. Then one day, someone brought an egg replacement from the U.S. - it was heavenly! Later, as a trial, someone made an eggless cake, but it was too oily… I tried it too, same result. But little by little, the technique improved. Now, delicious egg-free cakes are everywhere - even gluten- free and dairy-free ones. A small change, but a big shift in what is possible.

When I was growing up, I often felt lost. I didn’t get much guidance from my mother, grandparents, or aunts. I don’t blame them - they had their own limitations. But it meant I had to figure a lot out on my own. One of the hardest parts was not knowing what to do with my life - no clear path, no profession to follow. That’s why I still remember so clearly the first time someone gave me a chance - a small gesture as they agreed to hire me, even though I didn’t have much knowledge of computing. That moment changed everything. It gave me a real profession and helped me shape a new life.

Maybe we all have a green thumb for people, dreams and ideas. We touch the world through our actions, even small gestures.

When it is better not to change…

 

There are several reasons to change and I think you are a person who likes, or at least WANTS to change, right?

But there are a few reasons to NOT change, even though situations are pushing you to do that.

The first thing is when you are trying to adapt to another person’s way of life. Of course, if you are a partner or a room-mate, then both will have to adapt, but many times, it is a one-way expectation, and that is not right. Create a dialogue with the other person and check how both of you can adapt to each other or alternatives.

The second reason is when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit you. There are cases when they will benefit others; check how to do it in such a way you don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to you, don’t do it. Talk with others and see how you can accommodate, without losing that which is precious in you.

Third, when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit others, similar to the second reason. There are cases when they will benefit you; check how to do it in such a way others don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to others, avoid doing it. Talk with others and see how both sides can accommodate, without losing that which is precious for them.

Now, if you are not fully convinced of any change, reflect upon it. Maybe it is the method you don’t like or the possible outcome; by reflecting and realizing, it is possible you can change or you can reach the conclusion you won’t follow that particular change.

A last advice: you are your own leader. Don’t react, don’t change because situations change and don’t try to make others change. Reflect, meditate and understand before promoting a change in yourself.

Check your values at every step

 

Being a value-oriented person is much more than just being a nice person – it means your actions are connected with your core.

Let me explain: we are like lettuce. It means we have several layers, but there is a central core, the innermost part of the self. Most of the time, our relationships, work, study and the various ways we interact with the world are done from the most superficial layer, which is basically what we write in our curriculum vitae.

However, the main source of energy is in the core of our being, which is full of peace, love, purity and many other wonderful qualities. They try very hard to come into our interaction and to be part of our lives, and that is through values.

When we enable our values to be part of our lives by shaping our decisions, the resulting actions will be full of those qualities and the outcome will be an accomplished life. Then, why don’t we do that?

First reason is that we are used to act from the outer layer, and it is not that bad… a few stains here and there, that’s all! Most of the time… To change it we need to work on our attitude and our awareness, and go deeply, before taking any decision and any step.

Second reason is not good, but we are living in a world in which values have become political weapons. That is the environment we are watching in the news and we experience it when we start to talk with other people. We have to depoliticize values and that starts by not imposing our values onto other people.

The third reason is that people don’t have access to their core. It is often done by praying, meditating or living a spiritual life. Besides those who do have access don’t always implement them into their mundane lives… they are a bit flying in the moon… The best thing here is to start using some technique to live those values and to make sure they also become part of a normal common life.

Does the year really change?

 

What is change, really? It means something is different than before.

A river changes its course or composition, a tree grows, animals go through the cycle of life, and humans…

We, humans…?

With humans, things are more complex. We could say we change according to our age or our career. It can be that our change was just esthetical or ethical, we change our perception about other people or even an experience of past.

Then we come to the change of the year… We all know the year does not really change; it is just a perception or a system invented by us. In fact, the Chinese New Year, is a few weeks later and a big part of humankind will celebrate THAT New Year, not the December, 31^st one…

It means that although the year does not change and nothing changes with the year, it changes… in our minds.

And there are 3 things to explore and have a better change of year:

• The new year is a big opportunity. The things you couldn’t do before, the things you dream and those you don’t dream, all can happen this year.
• Training and education. To make those opportunities real there is a need in terms of training. The change curve is quite steep nowadays for anything, even the harmless objects at home, particularly with AI’s invading the day-to-day life. So, understand the opportunities being opened with this new year and what qualities or competencies you will need to harvest them, and plan your education process.
• Resources… Yes, you will need resources to really take advantage of anything emerging with the new year. Besides the physical wealth that will help to get a proper education, there are also intangible resources, such as peace, courage and enthusiasm. Words of wisdom from a close friend or relative and the millions of videos, books, lectures, workshops, seminars, etc. that promote wellness or self-improvement, work like gold too.

This new year, identify the opportunities and dreams you want to fulfill and live, educate and train yourself to achieve them, and trust the invisible resources within you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

When I asked for the year to not change, a tale

 

I finished the letter and sent, via email. My guess was:

NewYear@universe.time

 

With total certainty, I was sure the email would reach its destination and my request was very simple…

YEAR, DON’T CHANGE!

 

I have been tired of so many changes… When I was young, the worse of a year changing was to avoid writing the wrong year in a check or a letter. But, nowadays…

There will be a new president somewhere who is probably going to change many things. Besides, AI is evolving… And the economy… Society… My friends and family… Me…

YEAR, DON’T CHANGE!

I want everything as it is right now… NO CHANGES, PLEASE!

 

And yet, I know…

… Well, the email bounced back.

… Things will change anyway…

So, what to do?

Maybe… maybe if I change, other changes won’t affect me that much. OK, I am still hopeful things may not change so dramatically, but I want to try this…

 

I want to try to change myself. Would you like to be my friend in this?

The last plane…

The images of the Khwaja Rawash airport during the evacuation in Kabul, Afghanistan, are still present in the minds of many. A few of us had friends or relatives there, but for most people the sensation has come from an overwhelming feeling of sharing with our fellow human beings, which made many feeling as if they were the ones in despair, trying to be evacuated.

I hope all goes well for the people who got to flee the country, for those who stayed back and my peaceful vibrations for those who couldn’t and their families.

Reflecting upon it, many years later, I understand that without realizing, many of us are going to have a last plane in life, a moment of decision so brutal and critical that will split our lives in two or more timelines. After it, you won’t be the same person anymore.

Maybe it was your marriage – it does not need to be something bad.

Perhaps when your first child was born… or when they left you.

Out of this reflection, I ask myself 3 questions:

• What does it happen when the last plane is available? There is pain coming due to the attachment to all that can’t be anymore, but many positive emotions emerge at the same time. The best would be to focus on the positive and let that heal the pain.
• Is it possible to prepare for that last plane? Some would argue that is what we have been doing in our lives previous to that event. It is as if we have been training for that moment. In this way, we can check and see if we are ready to leave ALL we have now and embrace a total new existence. It means skills and aptitude, but also attitude and awareness.
• So, am I ready for the last plane and if not, which training do I need to be better prepared?

One day, maybe out of the blue that last plane will come to take you, me and us away. It will take off and after that, we will be in a totally different place… Until then, let’s keep training!

A little magic trick to change situations

Changing things is not easy. Changing people is very difficult. Changing yourself…

Well, probably that is not easy either, but it is what you can do as you always have the possibility of changing the self.

And there is a little magic trick I can share with you: when you change yourself, particularly when you change your mindset, things change… OK, they don’t necessarily change, but let’s see an example.

You have a very difficult boss, one of the worse you have ever had! You are often arguing with them and you feel they don’t allow you to grow. You like the present workplace and position you have, salary is good, nice people…

So… if you would try to change your boss, what would it happen? Probably nothing, they maybe scold you for trying such a thing, even fire you.

Another option… you may try to change your job. However, besides it is hard to do in the present circumstances, are you sure you are going to have a better boss? No certainty here, right?

Let’s try a bit of magic! Start looking for good things about your boss: they are very well educated, in fact, their curriculum is really impressive, they connect very well with customers and they are a good family person (which is something important for you).

The problems you are having with him are not going away because of that, but they refer to your development and the way things work.

By changing your mindset, you ask yourself: Why don’t I help them to find a new job instead of fighting them? After a few hours browsing, you prepare a list of possible options, a very good profile for your boss and you send to as many companies as possible. After two months, old boss goes (for a very good position) and a new boss comes! Hope is back!

Other magic tricks that would be available in this case: you could go through training and get a better position in the same company and you could apply for another branch of the same company.

Check your problems and use this magic wand to solve them. Magic is available to all of us and the method is the same: instead of trying to change outside, reflect, see which changes you can do within and then implement.

Recreating a map to navigate our world: the importance of patterns

Should I go right or left? I look around and I see on the right a beautiful stone-laid path, flowers from both sides and it is a little steep, but the left path is muddy, the plants are wild and it looks quite dark.

No need to think there! Of course, the right path is…

 

That’s how we navigate our lives: turning left, right or center, staying for a while at some place or setting goals and move on. We find a job, a new friend, we reconnect with an old friend, we lose our job, we got a health problem, etc.

Sometimes the path will be idyllic, other times will be muddy. So, which one is the ideal for my life?

There are basically three ways to deal with that…

Intuition will be preferred by some people. They will just think where do I go and they will feel which way is the best for them.

Logic will be the favorite path for other people. They will see the muddy path and, of course, will chose the next one.

But both ways have big flaws. Intuition is often considered a manifestation of the unconscious mind, that is, things that have been picked, but not prioritized by the conscious mind, come up in the form of an intuitive thought. It may work, it may not work, it all depends on whatever has been picked. Logic will be restricted by the normal logic restrains of AND/OR, TRUE/FALSE, HYPOTHESIS/THEORY, and there are things that go beyond all of that. Maybe the muddy path is the right one…

So, there is a third way which I would like to explore with you: patterns.

Wait, what? I know people don’t talk about patterns nowadays, but they should be doing as we are living surrounded by patterns and we are letting them to lead us in our decisions. That is, patterns are drawing the map of our lives. Here are a few examples:

I follow my mother’s options in life in terms of jobs, relationships, etc.

I follow what my neighbors do during week-ends.

Even though I am retired, I still do shopping as if I was working, that is, on Saturdays, instead of a sale Tuesday.

I watch movies and TV series episodes which are basically equal, because those are the patterns…

It is bad… or it can be good too.

I follow my mother’s options on her courage and honesty, values that are transcendental.

I follow the specialties of my neighbors, appreciating they are around me and the example they set for me and my family.

As I am retired, I do as many retired people do: I volunteer. I help people with whatever energy and time I have.

I watch things that educate me or improve a bad day, because those are the patterns…

This is the third way to create your map, just use what is available, but use it in a good way, in a positive way. It will be easier to draw that map and it will give benefit to everyone who follows it, not only you.

Like a frog, or not?

Change is everywhere, that means ADAPTATION is needed everywhere. In reality, even when someone does not adapt to the change, it is a sort of adaptation.

However, there are good and bad ways to adapting and while some empower the person, others make the individual depressed.

Let’s dive into the different types of adaptation a person can experience when there is a change in their lives or environment, and how to improve it.

• An accurate adaptation means decisions are aligned with the changes, there is not a big conflict as a result of the change and the person feels comfortable with whatever is taking place. The person will be able to reflect and overcome obstacles that come on their way without stress.
• Many years ago, when I was still a child, my grandmother and I went outside and meanwhile, she left a big pot with water for boiling. When we came back, I saw her face and she was very upset; a frog had jumped into it! This is an old tale and although many think it is false, my experience says differently. The comparison with changes is that sometimes our adaptation makes us weak, powerless or simply unhappy. Be careful! Watch for the signals you are losing yourself and jump off the pot!
• Quick adaptation can come because of an expertise, a tendency or luck. The problem is the outcome is temporary and it may generate some type of disenchantment. I saw it with the boom of the crypto currency as many people tried and gave up, or even failed. It was a wave that some people took it, but it faded away… It is important to have a backup plan or savings, because it will fade away…
• Nature teaches us three main things about changes and adaptation: 1) change is inevitable, don’t fight and don’t surrender to it; 2) survive and thrive, as much as possible, and 3) adaptation is a show of strength. There is a cactus nearby, even though Bogota (at least looks like it) is very humid and it grew out of a stone! A few years ago, it was almost dead, but it survived… and it is back! Sort of; it is crooked and very ugly, but in terms of life, I think that is what it matters. So, if the change you are going through is tough, look at nature and you will learn many lessons for your survival and beyond.
• A last type of adaptation is based on compromise: I stop doing this, but I will be doing that. It may be not so positive, such as the example of people who stop smoking and start eating up to their obesity, but it may be a last resort for lots of people. If you are going to compromise, work on minimizing the side effects.

What is the type of adaption you mostly use with the present change you are facing?

Too much learning is good, but…

Particularly in the West, we may take decades engaged in learning in schools and other institutions, besides what we learn at home, on the streets or temples. And it is not a bad thing.

In fact, learning as a desire, habit or hobby should be part of our personality, specially in our fast-changing world. Even to buy a new cell phone or going to a supermarket after a few months is a challenge.

The reason is that with every change, we need to adapt and to do that in a successful way, there is no alternative to learning. Well, maybe suffering…

And this is the age of changes, they are everywhere for every reason. So, it should be the Age of Learning too.

Why is not so? Why do we see more and more illiterate people in various areas of work or society? There are a few reasons for that.

The first one is to not follow changes. As the learning curve can be quite steep, it may be a wise decision, but not always practical, due to professional or personal commitments. It is the case of many parents having to learn the lingo of social media, so they can help their kids navigate in this new world, even though they may not want to do.

The second reason is that the learning curve is too hard for some people because of their age... There is a paradigm that connects age and change, which means many people just not even try to learn something because they are old. This means they will have difficult to use transportation, to withdraw some money and even to travel. This is not true and there are plenty of examples of people who have challenged these misconceptions. True, it may be hard for some people, but it is possible with some effort.

Another reason is that there is no time to catch up. It happens a lot for those who work in a fast-paced industry, as things can change brusquely and there is no time to really try and grasp what is going on. However, I do remember a former CEO who decided to take a course on accounting after his company suffered a fraud by their accountant. Discernment will guide those people to dedicate their time in learning what is really important, otherwise leadership will help to have the right people surrounding them.

Don’t think you cannot learn. You can, just understand how. And keep on learning…

 

The power of gratitude

One of my comforts as a child was reading and one of my favorite sources was a magazine that used to come every month or so to my auntie, but it ended at my house, so I used to get to it first.

It came from a Japanese religion, Seicho-no-ie, and the stories were inspiring! But one topic was always present: be grateful.

I confess as the years passed by, I simply forgot about that, until many and many years ago, and since then, I started to practice the simple act of gratitude.

It can be a conscious act, like saying thank you, smiling in a cheerful way or send a message to a person.

It can also be unconscious. As I moved from Sao Paulo, the land of please and thank you – we say that all the time to anyone – I realized people used to look at me differently in situations when my thank you was not really clear, like thanking a bus driver. Slowly, I learned to express the gratitude I was taught in a more subtle way through a small gesture of the head or a different smile. Well, with some friends even a joke can work as an expression of gratitude…

Gratitude turns into a power when, besides the act, it is felt within in a deep way, generating a wonderful healing sensation that life opened its arms to me through this person or situation.

That power can break down obstacles, elevate a person so that they are higher than bad situations and even rebuild bridges with other people.

Be grateful.

Be powerfully grateful.