Modern life and hyperconnectivity, and connection…

 

I do remember the time I used to say goodbye to everyone at home before leaving for work. Except for the occasional phone call during the day - "Don't forget to bring the milk!" - there was a certain detachment from home. Anything truly urgent happened only a few times a year, and otherwise we would simply meet again in the evening. It was common to find around the place handwritten notes with reminders. Life moved at a slower pace, at least compared to today.

Our story is different now. From the moment we wake up until we go to bed, we are connected. Family, friends, colleagues, clients... and, of course, the occasional telemarketer. We are hyperconnected with everyone and everything.

And in many ways, it is wonderful. Not so long ago, access to information and opportunities depended on where you lived or who you knew. Today, we can reach almost anyone, learn almost anything, and collaborate across continents. It feels like a dream humanity has finally fulfilled.

And yet... while the roses have bloomed, so have the thorns. Anxiety is rising, loneliness is becoming more common, our attention is fragmented, and even our physical health is paying the price.

So, what should we do? Unplug completely? For a weekend, perhaps. For a lifetime, probably not. Hyperconnectivity is not going away, so maybe the real invitation is not to so much disconnect from technology, but to rediscover what connection actually means.

And connection is much more than exchanging information. It is the ability to be genuinely present. To listen without looking at the next message, to give someone our attention without mentally being somewhere else and to allow another person - or even a place, an idea, or a moment - to touch something within us.

The irony is that while technology has expanded our network beyond anything previous generations could imagine, our hearts have not changed. We are still human beings with a limited capacity for meaningful relationships. We can communicate with hundreds, but we can truly connect with only a few at a time.

Perhaps that is why so many people long for the good old days. Not because life was easier or technology was absent, but because presence was more common. We had fewer conversations, yet they often went deeper, and even though we knew less, we noticed more.

Maybe the challenge of our time is not to become less connected, but to become more intentional. To use hyperconnectivity as a tool without allowing it to become our master. To remember that every time we rely on that world wide web, we may be missing a moment with reality.

Because at the end of the day, we don't simply need more connections. We need deeper ones.

The value of trust in a very distrustful world

 

Trust used to be something almost invisible. You would read the news, answer a phone call, meet someone new and there was a natural tendency to believe. Maybe not blindly, but at least enough to build relationships, communities and even daily routines.

Now things feel different.

We double-check messages. We wonder if a photo was edited, if a voice was cloned or a headline was generated just to manipulate us. Deepfakes, scams and fake information are no longer strange exceptions; they have become part of our modern life. And that mistrust is like a ghost in the background.

Slowly, something dangerous happens: distrust stops being protection and becomes a habit. We stop believing in our children, in boss’ argument about our work, in the quality of our relationships…

The problem is that human life cannot function without trust. Every friendship, family bond, team, spiritual path and meaningful conversation depend on some degree of openness toward another person. If you are travelling in your plane you have to trust the person beside you, when you go the supermarket and you trust the factory that produced something good for you… When you vote, choose or make any decision, trust is a key element.

Of course, trust has always carried risks as any person may let us down, systems can fail and promises could be broken. But living in permanent suspicion is something else and it has a cost: when we stop trusting completely, we isolate ourselves emotionally, we become cynical, exhausted. Alone.

I am not suggesting here to trust blindly, but to trust wisely.

Not every voice deserves credibility, not every image deserves belief, not every product in the supermarket was done properly, but not every person deserves suspicion either, and the same applies to the whole society and the structure in which we are living.

Wise trust begins internally by first being honest with ourselves, more stable emotionally and aligned with our own values. In this way, we also become better at sensing authenticity in others, discernment grows and trust is positively affected by that.

And maybe that is how trust will come back to us. I don’t think we can go back to that time we would open the door of our lives to anyone, but, with wisdom, discernment and our own honesty, trust will become part of our background again, and our doors will be open to many.

In a world where almost everything can be fabricated, genuine human sincerity becomes one of the most valuable things we can offer each other.

Trust… traps and boosts

 

Trust used to be something almost invisible: a quiet agreement between people, a sense that what you see is what is.

Today, that simplicity is gone.

We live in a time of artificial intelligence, manipulated realities, fake news, deep fakes and information that looks real, so real… and it isn’t. Trust is no longer just a feeling, it asks for discernment, presence and a different kind of intelligence.

And yet, even in this landscape, the need to trust has not diminished. If anything, it has become more essential. Because without trust, everything collapses into suspicion… and living in constant doubt is exhausting.

I remember a simple exercise I used to do with teams. One person would stand, close their eyes and fall backwards; the team would catch them. Nothing sophisticated, no technology, just people looking for something meaningful.

But what happened at that moment was powerful. The person falling had to let go and at the same time, others had to be fully present. Trust was not a concept - it was an experience.

And that is something we are slowly losing: the experience of trust. We may talk about it, question it … but we don’t always practice it. So, let’s practice…

But, yes, trust also has its traps and those are reasons for which many people avoid trusting.

Being naïve is one of them. Confusing trust with blind acceptance or assuming that because something feels right, it is right. Let’s not forget overconfidence and trusting excessively in systems, in roles, in titles, or even in our own judgment without questioning.

There is also the subtle trap of believing in someone simply because of their experience, trajectory or reputation, as if the past could fully guarantee the present.

Then, on the other side, there is the inability to trust, because past experiences closed the door and disappointment becomes a filter. For protection, we turn away from others and live in our little castle, cove or cave.

Trust moves in this delicate space between openness and discernment, letting go and staying aware. When it is healthy, trust does something very specific: it creates a sense of inner safety. Not because everything is certain, but because there is a willingness to engage with life even during uncertainty.

There is a feeling of being supported… by others, by processes, sometimes even by something deeper, which cannot be fully explained.

And maybe that is the real shift required today: to stop seeing trust as something we either give or withdraw… and start seeing it as something we cultivate.

Not blindly, not rigidly.

Consciously, trusting with eyes open, with full awareness. Trusting not because the world is perfectly reliable, but because we are creating it, at every moment.

The Power of Asking the Right Questions

 

During my coaching certification, one concept was permanently imprinted on my mind: I have to find the right question.

Logic usually points us in the opposite direction. We are taught from a young age that the goal is to find the right answer. But I want to defend the "right question." Here’s why:

• Answers are now a commodity. We live in a sophisticated era in which answers to almost anything is available at our fingertips in seconds - a reality our ancestors couldn't have imagined.
• Easy answers kill the dynamic. Because they are so easy to get, their value has diminished. They don't incite conversation anymore. I remember a TV show, where a group of friends had a heated, friendly debate about the most popular food. Years later, that same group would have just pulled out their smartphones and received a cold, unenthusiastic answer from the internet: Bread! It’s efficient, but cheap, ending the moment rather than starting one.
• We must trade "cheap" for "deep." Since answers are cheap, we must improve our questions. This isn't about using "big" words or complex grammar; it’s about depth and meaning.
• The quest over the destination. Questions are deep when they are sincere. They come from a quiet place inside us, asked not to find a single "correct" response, but to stimulate a quest. Think of the classic: Who am I?
• Meaning drives growth. A meaningful question contributes to self-development or helps us deconstruct an obstacle. It forces the person to explore a landscape of possible solutions rather than a single exit.
• The mark of a "right question." A right question might be simple in its construction, but it lacks a direct answer. It isn't a "yes or no" thing; it requires elaboration, reflection, and deep thinking.

In a world obsessed with the destination of a “result”, let’s rediscover the beauty of the journey. Let’s stop settling for “bread” and start hungry conversations that lead us to places an algorithm would never find.

Effects of a Modern Life: Exhaustion

 

I do feel people are too tired… Don’t you think so?

Perhaps the problem is related to health and so the person should go to a doctor and check upon this. Or, maybe the problem is not the lack of rest, but the kind of rest we choose.

While trying to relax, I see friends endlessly scrolling on their phones, watching one episode after another, jumping from one video to the next, trying to “disconnect” from their source of stress and to feel good. And yet… they are exhausted.

It’s a strange paradox of modern life. We have more entertainment than any generation before us. More comfort, more technology, more “free time” and more possibilities to make our lives easier. And still, many of us wake up tired, go to bed exhausted and live drained of energy.

We are confusing distraction with restoration, boredom with silence, doing nothing with slowing down, and this is why, we keep feeding the mind with noise.

Another invisible factor is the pressure to always be “on”. We have reached a level in terms of society that many people feel obliged to be productive or available, 24/7. We jump every time a notification beeps, vibrates or screams…

Relaxation is competing with that sense of success we have created and cultivated along many years. We HAVE TO BE BUSY, we HAVE TO WORK LONG HOURS, we HAVE TO SEND OUR CHILDREN TO THE BEST COLLEGES, and so on… Look, this is not bad, but partial success does not work well. Imagine you have a fruit, a whole fruit, but you eat just half of it and you miss the best part. Success is not only achievements and attainments, it is also that incredible sensation of victory, an elated stage in our minds and an eternal smile…

The third thing that is making us more and more tired is virtual-based relationships. I do remember at the end of every year, I used to call EVERYONE in my cell phone; now, with more than 1,000 numbers in my phone, I would have to start wishing everyone a “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” from January!

And let’s not talk about the endless number of photos and videos, audios and things that, in the past, meant there was a meaningful relationship, and now it just occupies space in the cell phone memory. A virtual-based relationship makes us tired instead of enriching each other.

Real rest is not an escape. It means stillness and it is conscious, rather than just trying to forget. It is not travelling, but deepening. It is not scrolling eternally in your phone, looking for something; instead, take whatever is there in front of you and make it a beautiful entertainment moment.

It may be uncomfortable at first as it requires us to face silence and be alone with our thoughts. Real rest comes from a powerful reflection on what we have been avoiding and stopping us to escape from our reality.

Yes, meditation and a change of lifestyle will help. Definitely, power naps and a sound sleep will work wonders.

My suggestion here is that you start from your awareness, letting go other ways of resting that ends to make us even more tired and embracing new possibilities. You will see the results I am sure of that.

A safe space for you

A friend of mine insists that what everyone really needs is a safe space… A place in which there is no danger or threat, with a feeling of being accepted, no matter what or who we are.

Is that even possible? Yes, it is… At least I think so…

Here are the essentials for you to build a safe space:

·       A good positive attitude, that is the most important thing you will need.

·       People who are good to you, who care about you and you care about them.

·       People who… well, not necessarily care about you, but you need them and you can have a dialogue with them.

·       A nice space… It is personal, but you can add some art, music, lots of nature, light…

·       Meditate in this space regularly, so that you create a whole new atmosphere.

·       Don’t talk about this space to other people… keep it as a beautiful secret.

·       Don’t keep things that disturb you, even though they may be necessary.

·       If there are things you need, but they upset you, take them when it is necessary and take them out after that.

·       If you can’t have a proper physical place, even a beautiful park can work…

By creating and sustaining a safe space, benefit will come not only for you, but for many others too. 

To let go of control, self-control is the solution

Control feels like safety. When you are in control of your job, your family, your life or anything really, it is like you can do whatever you want.

So, letting go of control sounds almost irresponsible as it gives structure, predictability and the comforting illusion that, if we manage everything carefully enough, nothing will fall apart. And yet, life has a subtle way of reminding us that control, when taken too far, becomes tension.

Much of the pressure does not come from what happens, but from the constant effort to make things happen our way: to control outcomes, people, timing, emotions - even ourselves. This kind of control narrows our perception of life and it demands constant vigilance, leaving little room for luck or fate.

Letting go of control does not mean giving up. It does not mean passivity, indifference or lack of responsibility. It means recognizing the limits of external control and shifting attention inward.

This is the point when self-control quietly enters as the real solution.

Self-control is not about suppression or rigidity as many would think. It is the ability to choose a response instead of reacting automatically. It is the strength to pause, to observe what is happening inside and to act from clarity rather than impulse. When self-control is present, there is no need to control others or circumstances.

Ironically, the more self-control grows, the less external control is required and that takes us to a situation in which emotions are acknowledged before being unleashed, saving many relationships in the process. Self-control helps us to face situations without the hunger to dominate them.

Letting go of control, then, is not a loss of power, but its refinement. Power moves from the outside to the inside, from force to awareness, from fear to steadiness, from shouting to a deep resilience.

Next time you feel being in control is making you stressed, just go deeply within, meditate, contemplate or just reflect for a few moments. Feel the control you have on yourself. Let go of the control in the world.

And then, act.

How can you like what is unlikeable?

 

I remember many years ago, someone cooked a sweet dish that I really didn’t like. In fact, it was horrible for my taste - and for a friend’s too. As he used to work in a food company, he immediately knew what to do: lots of chocolate over it! At last, we could eat it.
Many aspects of our lives seem to require lots of chocolate just to be livable.

Because the tendency is this: when we face something we don’t like, someone who doesn’t agree with us, or situations that are clearly not working as they “should”, we instinctively think that should change. The other person. The circumstances. Reality itself.

And yet, very often, that wish is unrealistic.

The reality is rather uncomfortable: we truly have control over just one thing in the whole universe - ourselves. And even that comes with effort, strength and a good dose of humility.

From an Eastern perspective, something quite radical is suggested: instead of fighting life, we endeavor to embrace it as it is. Not as resignation, but as clarity that is born from resilience. Seeing things clearly, without denial and an unnecessary drama.

If possible, of course, change the ingredients, adding a bit more of “chocolate” in whatever you are living. If needed, prepare for the future, taking some chocolate with you, just in case.

And always, cultivate flexibility - internally and externally - so that agreements, adjustments and new perspectives can emerge.

Sometimes there is no chocolate to pour on top. Sometimes the dish stays bitter. But the invitation from life is not to like everything, but to stop rejecting it so fiercely. To notice what is happening inside us. To soften. To learn. To grow.

Maybe liking the unlikeable is not about changing the taste of life, but about changing the way we meet it.

An attitude of motivation

 

For some of us, motivation comes in tangible forms: gifts, money, words of encouragement. For others, it is something far more subtle: an attitude, a way of standing in life. I recently heard a beautiful story.

A young man chose to go against his family’s expectations. Instead of taking a traditional job, he set out on a journey of exploration. Eventually he became homeless, not because he was idle, but because he was writing. His greatest opposition came from his own father. Yet one day, after receiving the most prestigious award in his country for his work, he brought the prize to that silent man who had never understood him. Without saying a word, the father accepted it. In that quiet gesture, the son felt the warmth of recognition, perhaps the deepest motivation he had ever received. One of his next books, he said, would be about that man who never encouraged him… and yet motivated him in his own way.

When we talk about motivation as an attitude, we are not asking how others inspire us, but how we sustain a motivated stage even in the face of resistance.

This attitude rests on three understandings:

1. We are following our purpose, our truth. No matter what unfolds externally, this is the path we feel called to walk.

2. We may be working on something beyond others’ perception. It is natural that others cannot fully understand our choices and therefore we cannot rely on their motivation or get bothered by their opposition.

3. We don’t expect immediate results. A motivational attitude is built for a marathon, not a 100-meter sprint. The fuel comes from inner energy, positivity and resilience rather than external conditions.

And yet, there are three risks we must remain aware of:

1. We may misread our purpose. Especially when we encounter opposition, it helps to check in with someone we trust; there is always the chance of being wrong.

2. Others’ lack of understanding may come from our own communication gaps. A friend, a mentor or a coach can help us clarify our message and reduce unnecessary resistance.

3. Long-term results require patience. Fatigue can creep in. One way to navigate this is to transform the tiredness into a plan by breaking the journey into short, sequential aims that keep the process alive and dynamic.

A motivational attitude does not guarantee perfection, but it does carry us toward a certain kind of success, the one built from within.

 

This is a post in a series about motivation - starting from within.

 

When it is better not to change…

 

There are several reasons to change and I think you are a person who likes, or at least WANTS to change, right?

But there are a few reasons to NOT change, even though situations are pushing you to do that.

The first thing is when you are trying to adapt to another person’s way of life. Of course, if you are a partner or a room-mate, then both will have to adapt, but many times, it is a one-way expectation, and that is not right. Create a dialogue with the other person and check how both of you can adapt to each other or alternatives.

The second reason is when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit you. There are cases when they will benefit others; check how to do it in such a way you don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to you, don’t do it. Talk with others and see how you can accommodate, without losing that which is precious in you.

Third, when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit others, similar to the second reason. There are cases when they will benefit you; check how to do it in such a way others don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to others, avoid doing it. Talk with others and see how both sides can accommodate, without losing that which is precious for them.

Now, if you are not fully convinced of any change, reflect upon it. Maybe it is the method you don’t like or the possible outcome; by reflecting and realizing, it is possible you can change or you can reach the conclusion you won’t follow that particular change.

A last advice: you are your own leader. Don’t react, don’t change because situations change and don’t try to make others change. Reflect, meditate and understand before promoting a change in yourself.

To count with someone

 

In a world in which the tendency is to be by yourself, it is good to remind everyone the sweetness of having another person by your side and I want to share two stories about that.

Many times, I have stayed at a friend’s apartment in Mumbai, India and I remember when his father was staying along with him; old and with no duties at the house, the couple used to take care of his needs. In fact, his wife, a doctor like him, left her job to help in taking care of her father-in-law. I would never question their culture and that dedication to the elderly, but the fact she left her job…  Eventually, her father-in-law passed away; next time I went to stay with them, something magical took place. First, I noticed a different vibration at their place and then I heard the news she got a new job: this time, she was working as dean at a medicine college for women. By taking care of that old man, she enriched herself, the magic of having someone around or, in her case, to be the one that others have around.

Even though I am single, I have been living in a community for many years. The dynamic is very different than a family, but there is a special energy of cooperating beyond our own limitations. This time, it has been my turn to feel the enrichment by other points of views, by the chance to help others to change their points of view and by understanding sometimes, it takes time to match different points of view. An interesting example is food – by the way, they come from a different cultural background and what is delicious for them, for me it is… ok… My main contribution was to introduce PIZZA to special occasions and I was amazed one day, by knowing someone was able to cook it better than me. They also enriched me in so many ways…

Do you realize how rich you are becoming by counting with others?

Do you know how rich others are becoming because they can count with you?

Self-empathy

I have listened a lot about empathy and I have talked about it too. For some, it is difficult to understand it, for others, it is easy. It is the whole base of a few professions like doctors and firefighter, a must in terms of being a parent or a teacher, and it is something we look for it in a friend or a counselor.

But I would like to explore two aspects about empathy, which can make it easy to develop the quality.

First, to really experience someone’s empathy you yourself must be it, this is part of what I would call self-empathy. You do need to be an empath to really appreciate that quality as I have experienced: many years ago, I had many empathic friends, but I was not that myself and I was unable to understand why they were relating to me in that way. I look back in my life and what I see is that I could have had a wonderful time with them …

To develop empathy is the first step to really feel others’ empathy.

Second, we need to be an empath towards the self. Self-empathy means to understand the self, to know how to be gentle and forgiving, and to guide the self through the many storms of life. It means to read our own emotions, to understand them and to embrace that part of ourselves.

By being an empath towards the self, it is easier to manage emotions and to channel them into a positive direction.

I invite you to try this type of empathy and see how you will develop empathy as a key quality for Emotional Intelligence.

The Attitude of Assertiveness

Many years ago, the word ASSERTIVENESS began circulating. It was something new, a different attitude that emphasized self-esteem, within the communicational context, avoiding negative confrontation.

It's probably the most important communication skill out there, but it's still not talked about much, and maybe not as practiced as it should be. Some of its benefits are very clear:

• Increased self-esteem, on both sides of the conversation. The assertive side needs self-esteem for this skill to work well and, if there is no self-esteem on the other side, it is too "low" or too "high", it won’t work either.
• Better results in a negotiation, generating satisfaction. The assertive side will feel that their requests and demands have been heard and the other side will understand them better, being able to make a decision.
• A greater understanding of others’ needs. Although assertiveness serves to express what a person really thinks or needs, it can help in developing the ability to understand as we all have points in common and an assertive person acknowledges that unites them as a bridge.

Assertiveness, as an attitude, works as a template in which thoughts will come from self-esteem and will serve as a reaffirmation to the person. It is part of a self-leadership attitude, part of the process of an individual reclaiming their power to lead themselves.

I would like to focus on this self-leadership and, in relation to this, assertiveness has two basic functions:

• Facing without confronting. Look at situations head-on, facing them. However, know that you don't need to fight people or situations; confrontation is the last instance of a conflict that, in general, can be solved through several ways and assertiveness is a tool of empowerment.
• Defending without contesting. Defend your ideas, without renouncing principles or vocation and specifically, without fighting with others. It enters into the same function as before, but especially in the stage of conversation or negotiation in which the other party makes their demands; it is key to be protector of what is valuable, without the competition that often happens.

But how does it work?

Without assertiveness, it would be quite complex to make changes in the daily routine, without upsetting a partner or neighbors, or to start a meditator path and expect people in your office to understand your new lifestyle...

Assertiveness will guarantee that you handle talking to your partner, clearly describing your new daily routine, negotiating without giving up what is important to you and obtaining successful results. The same will happen in your work and in all areas you touch in life.

Experience assertiveness and live in an inspired way.

What are the real effects of forgiving?

 

Forgiveness is more than being saintly, it is a healing tool, a way to repair broken bridges with other people and a wonderful way to experience constructive emotions. I would like to invite you to read this article about forgiveness, from the point of view of neuroscience: The Neurobiology of Forgiveness.

In my case, would like to share my own experience as I am in a spiritual path for more than 40 years, which I hope will motivate you to forgive. And be forgiven.

• Forgiveness is healing for the one who forgives. In fact, I believe when I forgive, I am forgiving myself to have allowed that sorrow entering in my life or losing my own self-respect due to that.
• Forgiving cannot be compulsory, it must flow. A very wise yoga teacher shared when she could not forgive; she decided to connect the person with someone who could provide whatever they need… She took her time, until she was able to at least talk to the person again, an important step.
• Forgiveness is a way to others’ hearts. When you forgive someone, whether they know or not, a powerful energy links you both again… It may take time, but the relationship can resume.
• Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that all changes because of it. It is a process of acknowledgment and, from this, you can change whatever is needed.
• Forgiveness works best with best wishes, detachment and unconditional love.
• Forgiveness works worse with expectations, grudging and blaming.
• Forgiveness opens wounds, make sure you are prepared for it.
• Forgiveness improves by meditating, praying and other spiritual practices.
• Forgiving does not mean to talk to the other person. Do it when you are both ready.

You are necessary in people’s lives

I would like to remind you of something. And remind myself.

 

We are necessary in other people’s lives.

 

And, of course, they are necessary in our lives.

Not in the sense we cannot live without them, or they cannot live without us.

But without me, without you, others won’t develop some of their best characteristics like courage, humor, trust, punctuality, etc.

By being with someone different, that difference is added into one’s personality. The more we are in touch with people who don’t share our tastes or preferences, the more we will improve.

The same for others.

So, try not to give up on other people… Give them a chance one more time… ten more times… a hundred more times.

 

It is worth, believe me.

 

Secrets of reincarnation

Since I was a child, I have believed in reincarnation. For me it is like a car: it works, even though I don’t have any idea how it does. Or I didn’t…

Reincarnation has given me responses to many things that happen and for it, its concept and application can change lives completely.

When I came into a spiritual path, the Brahma Kumaris, I learned several secrets about reincarnation that shed even more light, and I am sharing them here:

I will start with the impact of being aware on the present life; there are two main impacts I would like to highlight. The first one is the fact that we start to think more GLOBALLY as reincarnation implies the person could have lived in different places, have belonged to different religions and even have had bodies of multiple colors, genders, etc.

The second impact I see on people who are aware of their past lives is that COINCIDENCES change into incidences, by giving an explanation for strange things that take place or, at least, it turns life more interesting.

By knowing about reincarnation, I can design my next life. Reincarnation laws are variable from one school of philosophy to another, but in general, they are associated to karma laws. So, whatever an individual does, speaks or even thinks, that will come back to them and probably, in their next life. In this line of thoughts, if anyone wants to have a good (next) life, be a good person and do good things.

On the other hand, those of us who know about reincarnation, we understand punishment very well. It is the same as the former point, but focus on the bad actions, word and even thoughts we perform. As we will have to live their fruit in our next life, we should live this life in a stage of awareness.

A last secret is related to relationships and that is they are mostly defined by karmic laws. That means we have probably met our relatives, close friends and other people who impact us in former lives. I like the focus of Brahma Kumaris, particularly in this aspect, which is instead of thinking this person is a karma, I can create a healthy relationship with everyone, assuring that when we meet again in our next lives, the meeting will be sweet instead of sour.

I do hope these secrets help you to live better and if you really don’t believe in reincarnation, I guess these can be used as tips for your life.

Why do we think too much?

A short video I saw many years ago was a pony trying to leave its stable… Hesitation, a bit of fear and FINALLY, after a few anguished moments, it steps out of it. All because of a small step on its way. The theme the person who posted it was OVERTHINKING.

And that may be a problem for ponies, I am not sure, but it is for sure a HUGE problem for everyone.

• We need to take a step, but… can we really do it? Is it safe? What about the safe place I am living right now, it is not that bad, you know? I think this is the wrong direction…
• Or, we need to take a jump, we need a big change to take place in our lives. No, I cannot do this! I am not prepared! My (wife, husband, friend, brother…) told me I wouldn’t be able to do it… It is too much, let me wait a little bit more…
• Furthermore, we maybe need a breakthrough. I prefer to stay where I am, it is not so good, but not too bad either. It is too risky!

Overthinking may be everywhere and I am sure, right now, you are overthinking about something…

Or maybe, I am overthinking about you…

There is not one solution, but a few things you can do:

• If you know you will need something, prepare yourself beforehand.
• If the change is small (a step), choose the best moment to do it. Some will prefer to be surrounded by close friends, others by themselves, the important thing is that YOU TAKE THAT STEP.
• If the change is big (a jump), you need to reflect and contemplate on it, but don’t overcook your decision or as some people say, don’t get paralyzed by the analysis. Probably the best thing is to get help from someone in terms of guidance, resources or a good chat.
• Now, if the change is a transformation, you do need help if that generates storms of thoughts in your mind. Perhaps, ask around to see who has gone through a type of change like that; probably it will different, but there are some lessons you can learn.

I hope that will be helpful.

Was it helpful? Are you sure? I don’t know I think I missed something……..

 

Just kidding! Take care!

How is your transition going?

We have been running wildly as a civilization, society and individuals, and, all of a sudden, BOOM! We had to stop…

Like a 200 Km/h car, our world almost crashed, but, hey, we are still here!!

After the pandemic, we have been through a sort of transition, with not much leadership and counting with our own values, beliefs and self-leadership.

And I think it is important to do a checking on how things are really going. In this way, we can reinforce what is working and correct what needs to be corrected. Here are a few questions that may help:

How am I feeling? Let’s start from the abstract, the feelings and sensations. Try to be very specific in relation to those.

How am I doing? Let’s check now about our activities; it is useful to compare the NOW with the BEFORE (pandemic) and to use some indicator (how much I am earning, my trips, meditation experience, etc.).

How am I relating to others? Again, a bit subjective, but it is important to verify the way my relationship to other people has evolved during these years.

How much progress am I making? At this point, it is good to stop and reflect. Progress is not difficult to understand, but many people tend to interpret sensations while others only see results. To know your progress, you have to check the general sensation that you are MUCH BETTER than before, but at the same time, some HARD RESULTS to back that up. If one of them or neither of them is good, it is quite possible you haven’t moved ahead as much as you might think.

I hope what comes from this exercise helps in your own transition.

When it is better not to change…

There are several reasons to change and I think you are a person who likes, or at least WANTS to change, right?

But there are a few reasons to NOT change, even though situations are pushing you to do that.

The first thing is when you are trying to adapt to another person’s way of life. Of course, if you are a partner or a room-mate, then both will have to adapt, but many times, it is a one-way expectation, and that is not right. Create a dialogue with the other person and check how both of you can adapt to each other or alternatives.

The second reason is when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit you. There are cases when they will benefit others; check how to do it in such a way you don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to you, don’t do it. Talk with others and see how you can accommodate, without losing that which is precious in you.

Third, when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit others, similar to the second reason. There are cases when they will benefit you; check how to do it in such a way others don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to others, avoid doing it. Talk with others and see how both sides can accommodate, without losing that which is precious for them.

Now, if you are not fully convinced of any change, reflect upon it. Maybe it is the method you don’t like or the possible outcome; by reflecting and realizing, it is possible you can change or you can reach the conclusion you won’t follow that particular change.

A last advice: you are your own leader. Don’t react, don’t change because situations change and don’t try to make others change. Reflect, meditate and understand before promoting a change in yourself.

Christmas 3 – celebrating with others

When it's Christmas, she likes to celebrate with the people from her office. TWO PARTIES! One with the morning shift, the other with the night shift. She loves it... but...

When it's Christmas, this sweet couple loves to be with their families. TWO FAMILIES! Hers is funny; his is serious; a very interesting balance. They really like it… but…

When it's Christmas, they cook for the whole neighborhood. There are many very old people, some families where the parents work too much and their food comes with a very special energy for everyone. This family really likes to cook for everyone... but...

When it's Christmas, the doctor and his wife, a teacher, go to remote places, bringing gifts that no one else wants. Both experience extraordinary happiness... but...

They celebrate a lot with others, but something is missing. Something in their life, so when they finish their activities…

They meditate a bit...

They pray…

Read something that lifts their spirit...

Together they watch a movie that could change their lives...

And they sleep with a sweet smile, the smile of those who REALLY celebrated Christmas.