Discovering that part of yourself that is hidden from you and others

Johari Window: exploring the hidden parts…

 

You have a secret! And it is so deep that not even you know it!

There is a game that can be useful. It is imperative that everyone knows each other.

• Create a table of qualities and talents. Cut them and give the cut table to each person, that is, each person should have many pieces of paper! The important thing is that everyone has the same thing.
• In front of each person, there are four boxes. 1) OTHERS & I; 2) OTHERS, NOT ME; 3) I, NOT OTHERS; 4) NEITHER I NOR OTHERS. There should be a space BEFORE the boxes in such a way that you are sitting, then there are the boxes and the empty space.
• The game starts by rounds in this way:
1. First round. Choose the qualities that apply to you (I). Put those littler papers in front of you, before the boxes in such a way that anyone can read. Keep the papers you are not using by your side somewhere.
2. Second round. Walk around the room and read the papers others chose; the ones you agree that person has it, pick them up and put in their box #1 (OTHERS & I). The ones YOU DON’T AGREE or you DON’T KNOW it, pick them up and put in their box #3 (I, NOT OTHERS).
3. Third round. Go back to your seat and pick the papers you didn’t use. Now, go around and distribute ALL the little papers by identifying those people who have that quality; put them in their box #2 (OTHERS, NOT ME). Some little papers will remain, I am sure.
4. Fourth round. This is a bit of a guess: the qualities that remained, just put them in your own box #4 (NEITHER ME NOR OTHERS).
5. To finish the game, check the boxes for repetitions and reflect on them, understanding where those qualities should be and eliminating the extra; the idea is that no quality shows in more than one box.

Well, this game is funny and I am sure you will enjoy it, but let me focus on the box # 4: NEITHER ME NOR OTHERS.

Those qualities are extremely important because you are not sure about them and others can’t help you either. However, there is the possibility part of your potential is in that box.

It is possible that thing you feel is missing in your life is in that box.

Maybe the solution for part of your problems is in that box.

Check those qualities and work on them, systematically. Maybe you will realize some of those are just pieces of paper.

But if even one is more than a paper and it will contribute in your life, it is worthwhile to check that mysterious box.

Discovering that part of yourself that is hidden from others

Johari Window: exploring the hidden parts…

 

You have a secret!

Maybe the reason you have it is because you consider it so valuable, you don’t want to share, at least not to everyone and not until this moment; which is OK, after all, treasures are to be kept. They are an object of legend! Right?

I give you an alternative. Find the right moment (soon, please!) and show that talent you have, what you have been studying or the wonderful discovery you are not revealing to others.

In fact, the more you expose your treasures, the more you will develop them.

However, there are secrets you don’t tell others because of some type of fear. What are they going to tell me if they know this?

If you really want to develop a good relationship with other people, those secrets can turn into an obstacle. There are a few options for you:

• Find the RIGHT MOMENT, that instant people will value what you have. It is true particularly in relation to talents or skills.
• Generate a space of dialogue and talk to those people, open your heart. Before doing that, take some mercy balm in the form of a nice book with encouraging words or a song that will remind you how great you are. This is specially for those secrets that can harm a relationship.
• In both cases, I suggest you to meditate before doing any of those things. Meditation will empower you.
• If people hurt you because what you have shown or told them, don’t cry. The meditation will help you to not get into despair and something good you can do is to remind yourself THAT IS MY TREASURE. As they didn’t recognize its value, it is time to look for other people who will value it as much as you do.

There may be many more reasons for you to keep things hidden from others, but I would like to highlight two more:

• Self-doubt. Yes, you have that treasure, but you are not sure it is so interesting or others need it. The best thing for that is to talk with someone you trust and work on what to do about it.
• Maybe OTHERS haven’t acknowledged you have that treasure. Well, that hurts! You have already shown them, you have talked to them and you have posted it everywhere, but people seem to ignore it or at least they don’t give the value you think it should receive. Well, in that case, a talk with experts in the area of your treasure will clear your mind in relation to others’ reasons. After that, you can plan what to do to make others appreciate that wonderful treasure.

Inside, there is a powerful source of energy - Reason 59

From time to time, we all lack energy, which is a generic name for all that stamina, that vital force that makes us want to get up, exercise, go to work, change the routine or to serve many others.

Then people look outside: movies, songs, drinks and food, good company, big parties, you name it!!  And these remedies do work, at least for some time.

However, a leader looks inside: experiences and teachings, virtues and values, inner powers and talents; the wonderful inner world…  They also work and they will keep working as much as the person wants, because these reserves are always there.  Not only that, the more an individual uses his or her inner resources, they will increase.

Outside sources of energy and vitality are limited, while inner sources are infinite; to tap into them, leaders need to have introversion, but not in the sense of withdrawal from the world.

Introversion is precious, because within each person, there is a vast treasure just waiting to be acknowledged and used accordingly.  By making a time to be by oneself and, with a methodology like meditation or reflection, to explore one’s inner world, a leader is boosting her or his energy.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Any company is important – Reason 50

We are seeing a world where social means social network and very few people are making effort to create real new company, outside an internet framework.

It seems we struggle by being with other people: there are complaints about this or that person, they suffer if the person is not there and also in their presence, and sometimes they go down the route of living alone as a way to deal with that – okay, maybe a dog can be a better companion…

Leaders have a different approach, because they see others as sources of wisdom, knowledge, talents, qualities and fun!  They are able to enjoy and learn from others, no matter whom they are or what they are like.  In fact, a leader will prefer to be surrounded by people who are different as in this way, he or she will use their commonalities as bridges and their differences will be embraced as valuable experiences, enriching each other.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

You are an explorer of your own self! - Reason 35

At any time, a leader has always a place to go.  It is a place to which she or he wouldn’t need to take a flight or even a car ride, because it is there, within themselves.

Then, he or she can explore all that is inside a human being: virtues, values, powers, talents, dreams, feelings, and can learn to use all of these treasures with more confidence.

The motto of a leader who is this type of explorer is: Look inside where both power and protection can be found.  It is particularly useful during stressful situations or crisis, as the leader uses that mental and spiritual space to reflect and to make decisions, instead of just looking outwardly and reacting.

It also serves when the leader is going through a period and everything is alright; it is a time the leader takes in which to further enjoy these inner resources that are abundant and everlasting.

Others who haven’t developed the ability to go as deep as a leader will find their internal resources are not ready and available a time of need.  But leaders will go so deep they even will be able to help others in their own exploration.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Your talents will be unlimited - Reason 17

Although skills are learned, they originate from very deep within the soul in the form of natural talent.  The arousal of latent talent is like the expression of a calling.

An ordinary person would use skills to attain money, success or fame, but this puts this innate fountain of energy to limited use.  A leader on the other hand uses his or her skills to make a vision coming true.

Just like a Brazilian housemaid [1]whose talent for fashion gave her and her family an opportunity in life or a cook who used his skills to feed homeless people[2], leaders use their talents beyond the ordinary and to create opportunities for others.

It is beautiful, because through their skills, leaders go beyond hammering, painting, cooking, cutting, sewing, typing, programming or writing and so on: they express what lies at the very core of their spirit, those wonderful and powerful qualities, and add to the lives of many others in the process.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

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[1] Zica Assis, owner of Beleza Natural. http://www.forbes.com/sites/geristengel/2014/11/05/women-entrepreneurs-who-cure-marketplace-pain-points-scale-big/#74fee2fb5ebe

[2] Narayanan Krishnan, a award-winning chef with a five-star hotel group. http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/04/01/cnnheroes.krishnan.hunger/

I am Harry Potter

Literature has given us many heroes whose deeds are not as heroic as themselves. You can remember Ishmael from Moby-Dick or even Joshua from the Bible - they were loved because they were different from others.

They dared to be different and in their own way, they became leaders, kind of heroes. Not as someone who frees a country or who saves lives, but more like people who overcame deep inner challenges.

Nowadays, when everyone tries to be similar to the next, Harry Potter emerged as a different paradigm. And he conquered the world, there is no doubt about that. His magic was to "touch a nerve" and make the character, who was refused by his own people, become a heroe.

At some point of J.K.Rowling's books, Harry mentions that he never intended to do something to be a heroe, it just happened like that. The reason is simple: when you are different, you tend to be a heroe everytime.

The world is still not ready for different people and it tries constantly to make others to be like the main stream. Harry Potter showed a kind of path for those of us who are different, who are leaders, to-be or de facto.

The first thing was to give himself a chance, when the opportunity emerged. As soon as he knew he was a wizard, even though that could be the most absurd thing in the world, he accepted the opportunity, with all the risks envolved.

Second, balance emotions and reason - this is a constant in the life of this modern hero. Balance is a key for success and failures come due to its lack. Listen to the heart, but also to the head.

Third, life is a big and interesting school! Whoever has read those books started to wonder why was that schools cannot be that fun. In fact, our own lives happen in a huge school and each step is incredible, it is a powerful lesson.

Fourth, magic is ALWAYS the solution. For those of us who are leaders, different from the rest, rules are not so strict, especially concerning to how to get success. We rely a lot on pure "magic" - not the wand-kind of magic, but the one that emerges from talent and energy.

Fifth, last and you can complement if you want, no matter what, you have to stick to your vision, objectives and aim. That is a big challenge, but leaders cannot afford to wander from their destination, even though sacrifices are high!

And let's not forget that Harry Potter, because of all of that, received constant help until the end.

Take care.