Different types of fear and solutions

If we think about phobias, an irrational fear of something that really should not cause harm, there are about 100 different types - how to solve all that?

What about rational fears? Will I get a job? Will I survive this pandemic? My partner does not look at me anymore, could it be that...?

Fear has captured our civilization and there are three solutions that can serve fears, clarifying that it will work if they are not linked to psychological problems or trauma.

 

The first solution is the one that comes from instinct: to evade or flee from what causes fear. The image in movies of people who see something scary and run away is not so out of reality, but when looking at nature, fear manifested in this way is a positive force, as it helps the survival of the species.

In an urban and modern context it is lost; While running off because someone dressed in black showed up on the corner, while you were coming back late after a day of work at night may fit the definition of fear for survival, but what about the fear of being alone at home?

 

The second solution is the one that many would recommend: to face your own fears.

It is counterintuitive and requires a lot of willpower, but by doing what you are afraid to do, being next to what you fear or talking to a person who generates fear, you increase your own resilience and even help you face other fears.

 

The last solution is to work on personal resilience through self-empowerment which can be through meditation, reflection or something similar.

Specifically the development of the power of tolerance and conformity that arise with these practices improve the person being less scared. The reason is that by empowering yourself, there is the experience of safety and the clarity of what to do when something causes fear.

 

You know what? The most important thing and you can consider as the solution number zero to be able to get out of the atmosphere of fear: work on the fear that you feel of fear itself...

Deep change, a key for a REAL better life

For improvement in your life, there are many different ways such as getting a new job, take a few courses or getting involved with an exercise routine.

But all of this only touches the surface, and surfaces change too; after being able to improve your life in some area, something else happens and there is a tendency of going back to the former situation.

Some researchers say that our brain is not able to differentiate reality from thinking and feeling. So, it is possible that by making small changes and getting some improvement in life, people just get happy with that. They don’t try to go further and make deep changes.

However, deep changes are what we really need to experience a life that is worthwhile and meaningful.

There is a simple way to start your deep change and as a consequence, to step into a much better life. There is no simple way to make the change happens and there is definitely no easy way to reach transformation, the final result of a change. But this is a start…

1. Identify the things that will make your life better after changing them. You can check for your own heart and the emotions that make you sad, or the moments when you have caused harm to others. Maybe the ways you behave with your body or your pocket are indicators of things to change.
2. Elaborate a bit on that. Clarify them and choose the ones that will really impact your life.
3. Now, talk to yourself and go deep into that. For instance, if you think your mother had anything to do with you being uncomfortable with your body or the new government is the reason you are not well financially… well, think again. You need to reach a point of domain where reasons are within your reach and not on anybody else.
4. Maybe the former step will take a while, but you will reach a moment in this reflection process where you are able to identify something that is inside you. It is part of your personality, character or it comes from time to time, but it is you. And that is good, as you can change yourself.
5. Visualize, think or write about how your life would be with that part of you changed. That is an important step. An example is someone who gets projects done by getting worried; if that person choses to change his way of being and don’t worry anymore, how will he accomplish his projects? So, it is not only a question of eliminating something, you have to develop something too.
6. After visualization, you have to make a decision about what you have to eliminate from yourself. Sometimes, it is just you have to change it into something else. Other times, you really have to erase it and there are many forms of doing it, depending on you. For me, meditation works. For other people, reflection and even therapy is the solution. A common ground exists however: the will to change that part of yourself.
7. It is good to think of what you will do to yourself when you fail in this process of change. Although I wouldn’t recommend whipping, you have to have some kind of light punishment to help you with that. For instance, a week without television… It works!
8. It also works if you give yourself a small prize when you have a special victory. Nothing big, a chocolate bar or spending some extra time with your child would be enough.
9. Last piece of advice on these steps to perform a deep change: develop something in yourself that compensates whatever you are erasing. In the former example, that person may develop some planning skills to do the project. Sometimes, it is a bit fuzzy, particularly when it has to do with a part of your personality, so take your time and understand what has to be done. Then, do it!

I must say there is no real final result in this, but I am sure you will reach transformation and improve your life in the best way possible.