The door of death

A young minister started to attend to his exotic king, who used to quote wisdom phrases and do his best to rule the kingdom in a… funny way.

One of the things the king used to do was related to the execution of prisoners, an event that the young man had to regretfully y attend. It was always the same…

“You have been condemned for your atrocious acts against the kingdom.”, the king used to start. After some deliberation, he would finish his interference with this:

“Now, if you are brave, REALLY brave… My kingdom needs VERY COURAGEOUS people and I am willing to pardon you…”, the king would wait for the prisoner’s smile and close his speech like this, by approaching a simple door at a corner: “… if you cross this door. This door takes a person to the most horrible place of my kingdom, a place not even the best men of my army would dare to go! This door keeps us safe from a monster nobody has been able to defeat.”, this time the king would wait for the smile to vanish. “Now, my men will free you and if you want you can cross that door, or you will be executed.”

ALL OF THE PRISONERS would rather die than crossing the door.

One day, he found the king in a good mood and he decided was safe to ask the king the big question

“Your Majesty, I would like to ask you a question that has been haunting me since I have become your servant.”

“Of course, you may ask the question.”

After a brief hesitation, fearing for his own life, the young man asked: “What is behind the door?”

The king showed an enigmatic smile and start to walk very fast, followed by the young minister who realized soon where they were heading to: the execution field.

Now, the young man was almost crying with the fear the king would throw him out through the cursed door, but he was able to kept a certain calm face; they at last were both facing the door themselves.

“Open it!”, ordered the king. The young minister rather clumsily opened the door and…

…And he was amazed! It was an extremely beautiful piece of jungle there. He was able to identify some flowers and trees, and no sign of the monster.

When he looked back to the king, he was definitely smiling.

“Where is the monster, your Majesty?”

The king whispered something under his breath, looked at the eager eyes of his new minister and said without a smile: “The most horrible monster of all does not live in that jungle, but in the hearts and minds of people. It is called FEAR… If the prisoners didn’t keep that monster inside themselves, they would dare crossing the door and, as I promised, they will be free again. But that monster kills them before our executioners. Be careful, minister, and don’t feed your own monster! Just trust yourself and the fear will eventually die.”

A tale of immortality

At times of fear – Halloween, world in crisis, the danger of the broccoli – we try different tactics to overcome it.

Halloween stimulates humor as a way of dealing with crisis.

A world in crisis… only generates anxiety and worry, but there are plenty of ways to deal with it, like meditation.

About the broccoli, no solution…

But you probably know that the source of all fears is considered the fear of death, so what about if we were immortal? A few thoughts on this:

If I am immortal, it means death is not a thing and everything that happens to me is for a reason. My focus is on the learning instead of the tragedy.

If I am immortal, it means the huge crisis the world goes through is not permanent; I rather think of things that are permanent, like my own spirituality and my relationships.

If I am immortal, everything around me is a wonder of nature and as such, all is perfect. Maybe I will be hurt or hurt others, perhaps I will damage something, but as all in nature, everything will be OK.

If I am immortal, I am free of any fear and I can live life in its fullness.

The power of being fearless

Fear is an energy that moves reality, but not in the best way possible. It is so powerful that many things around us were created out of fear – fences, big walls, security system, firewall, etc. It is so powerful that moves the economy in many places and can even elect new rulers.

However, it is a very bad energy and for many reasons:

• It prevents looking for more opportunities and big changes.
• Self-esteem is affected negatively.
• It can create problems between people.

This small list helps us to understand the real power behind being fearless:

• When you are able to overcome fear, you will be able to embrace new opportunities and be an agent of change for yourself.
• Your self-esteem will increase in an amazing way, which will transform your life.
• Another chance for a healthy relationship is so important; relationships trigger parts of the self that otherwise will remain in the potential, not in the reality.

About life in these strange times – taking advantage of an opportunity

Three recent scenes summarize for me how we are living:

1. People were avoiding a place close to their houses due to the COVID virus, and yet that same people travelled to another country, exposing themselves to the same virus (no masks on the way)!
2. I’ve passed through sunshine, drizzle, storm, cloudy and rain… in just one walk, less than an hour!
3. A dog walking with its dog walker… without leash!

What is the meaning and the lesson to be learnt?

• There is a lot of fear, illogical unreasonable fear, which makes people to not reflect and instead to act on instinct, wasting wonderful opportunities. Fear prevents people to take a chance.
• Another reason people don’t take a chance comes in the form of an obstacle. In fact, whenever someone is trying to change something in their life, complications come on the way as if life doesn’t want the person to change. Keep going, keep moving; the weather in your life will change and you will adapt.
• Freedom comes from the power of adaptation to new situations. Not adapting in the sense of losing a dream or an objective, rather than that, by throwing unnecessary thoughts and emotions away. In other words, enjoy the ride, life is giving!

What are the scenes in your life that inspire you to understand the world?

Different types of fear and solutions

If we think about phobias, an irrational fear of something that really should not cause harm, there are about 100 different types - how to solve all that?

What about rational fears? Will I get a job? Will I survive this pandemic? My partner does not look at me anymore, could it be that...?

Fear has captured our civilization and there are three solutions that can serve fears, clarifying that it will work if they are not linked to psychological problems or trauma.

 

The first solution is the one that comes from instinct: to evade or flee from what causes fear. The image in movies of people who see something scary and run away is not so out of reality, but when looking at nature, fear manifested in this way is a positive force, as it helps the survival of the species.

In an urban and modern context it is lost; While running off because someone dressed in black showed up on the corner, while you were coming back late after a day of work at night may fit the definition of fear for survival, but what about the fear of being alone at home?

 

The second solution is the one that many would recommend: to face your own fears.

It is counterintuitive and requires a lot of willpower, but by doing what you are afraid to do, being next to what you fear or talking to a person who generates fear, you increase your own resilience and even help you face other fears.

 

The last solution is to work on personal resilience through self-empowerment which can be through meditation, reflection or something similar.

Specifically the development of the power of tolerance and conformity that arise with these practices improve the person being less scared. The reason is that by empowering yourself, there is the experience of safety and the clarity of what to do when something causes fear.

 

You know what? The most important thing and you can consider as the solution number zero to be able to get out of the atmosphere of fear: work on the fear that you feel of fear itself...

Disruption + Uncertainty = Fear

If you have watched terror movies, you probably have noticed there are several types of fear. The fear of gruesome scenes or wild animals, maybe the fear of masked people or a contagious illness is terrible enough to get you paralyzed.

But what about the fear that does not come from a movie: the fear of losing a job, getting sick, being alone and lonely… It is the modern urban fear that keeps people awoken at night and does not allow them to have a healthy normal life.

That fear comes from a not so sweet formula:

Disruption + Uncertainty = Fear

It means we are afraid when our normal life is interrupted in its core, when the paradigm we are living is broken. Disruption is being experienced right now worldwide and it is not fun; it is requiring lots of resilience by most people, some Netflix and Zoom by others… An image you can use to understand disruption is to think of a ladder you are climbing normally until you reach a point where the steps vanished and you are unable to reach the other side, your destination.

Disruption paralyses the person because of its absurdity or unexpected (and unwanted) emergence. In the case of a human stairs it is however different than the former example, as there is no way to go back in time and escape from it; you can stay stuck or you would have to build the steps yourself, probably with the help of others.

Now imagine that not only the steps went missing; when you look further to the place where you were heading to, it also went missing! Uncertainty is prevailing, forcing people to live the day-by-day and not planning too far ahead.

It is not something new of course as any company, football team or professional is used to live on uncertainty, but the modern uncertainty – Will I still work there? Will my children be able to have their own house? Will we be married with the same person in five years? – joined by disruption generates a very deep ingrained fear.

Can we overcome this type of fear? We can’t fight disruption as it is often out of our control, but we can control the effect of uncertainty. And the solution is very simple: certainty.

Just have a few things clear in your life and you will feel you are a surfer in the waves of life. These are a few powerful questions that may help you to have a sense of what is happening in your life, a sense of who you really are and your beautiful purpose:

• Who am I?
• Why am I doing what I am doing?
• What is the best of me and how to share it with others?
• Where am I heading to and how I am building it day by day?

Whenever you feel uncertainty taking over you, just stop for a moment and ask yourself those questions. Let the answer comes into your mind like a light during a dark night.

Remember: even a small candle can break the darkness.

The last of the forties

A friend of mine, about one month older than myself, posted a picture of himself tasting a cake for "the last of the forties".

Yes, with this birthday I will start to cross a moment in time that used to scare lots of people not long ago: I am 49 today, January, 12th. Next year, 4 will be replaced by 5... It is just a number, but a huge impact in life.

I know that according to many people, I should be very worried as my life is getting shortened. Birthdays are fun when you are young and full of energy; after that, they just remind you about the closeness to death.

But, as I write here, I really don't feel like that and I know the world is also changing. The world is "getting old" as many people put it, but I just say the world is changing...

First of all, people are not so much afraid of death as they used to be. In 2010, a survey in the United Kingdom shown that people feared most to BE IN DEBT. That is right... At the fourth position you can see something related to death, but not directly (crime with knife).

Second, economics show that older people more and more have all they need. If at some places in the past children had to sustain their old parents, it is not the present reality... In fact, many of them sustain their children who are going through one crisis after the other.

There is a third further point. A tradition of mine makes me wander around in the day of my birthday. So, I ended in a very interesting bookshop in Bogota, where I saw this not so exotic issue of The Economist, with a cover talking about the Age of Happiness, I think that was the title. In it, using its very complex language, The Economist shows the fact that after 50 years-old, people start to feel increasingly happy. And I think this is the key point.

The only thing to diverge in relation to that article is that it is not age as much as maturity that makes people sees happiness everywhere. Maturity enables you to be happy even though you didn't get your quota of recognition by others, or you just missed your favorite football match. And the magical thing about maturity is that you can get that anytime in your life. The funny thing about it is that it seems you never end getting mature... There is always margin to be more mature.

So, I reach this age very mature, and looking forward to increase that wonderful sense of maturity. I reach this age knowing I am much happier, healthier, more peaceful and more loved than I was ever in my life. I am aware I could be even better, but I am also aware I am much better than I've expected.

I embrace the fifties that are waiting for me a little ahead, and all that comes with it. Thank you, life, God and everyone for this wonderful opportunity. Thanks to myself for that too.