A quest for a sustainable motivation

 Motivation is good; as human beings, we all need it. Otherwise, even very necessary - and urgent - tasks won’t be performed. But things are more complex nowadays, with the demands of our jobs, family life, spiritual endeavors, and even our health.

So, I would like to explore motivation as a quest, through a few stories.

A close friend once had a very important role during a program for almost 1,000 people. His task was fundamental… yet he was late. We met at a bus stop, and while I was feeling anxious because of the delay, he was completely tranquil. After some time on the bus, we also became calm, influenced by his attitude. Then, suddenly, he started to get agitated. Eventually, he literally ran from the bus towards the auditorium, leaving us stunned. For many, motivation arises at the edge of anxiety; for others, that same edge creates worry. But this type of motivation can also feed the habit of procrastination - and quietly damage productivity.

Someone once changed jobs for a better salary. After a while, something felt missing… Looking for that same sense of drive, he moved again - and then again. Each time, the promise was greater, the reward slightly higher. Until he found himself repeating the same cycle: arriving, adjusting, and soon after, searching again. Material motivation - money, possessions - works well, but it carries a subtle side effect: satisfaction is short-lived, and sometimes it even deepens dissatisfaction.

A person had always dreamed of a house in the countryside, and one day, she made it happen. So much happiness. But slowly, the silence became heavy. Loneliness appeared, as it often does in rural areas. At some point, fear crept in. And when anxiety took over, clarity disappeared. She couldn’t find a way forward and drifted into despair. Even the most beautiful dream can turn into a nightmare. First, work on it, shape it, prepare for it and only then… live it.

I met her many years ago. She was young, vibrant, full of life. Then illness came - a deteriorating condition that changed everything. It was hard, painful, and at times heartbreaking. But something shifted. Over time, she learned not only to cope, but to transform that experience. She wrote a book in Spanish, The Healing Energy of Sickness, and began to share a different perspective: that even illness can become a source of growth. Today, she spreads hope - a hope born from a motivation she never expected. Motivation comes from how we perceive reality. Even the most difficult situations can become a source of strength.

There are people who naturally motivate others, and others who don’t. I know someone whose presence feels… wholesome. Being around him is both a pleasure and an honor. He doesn’t push; he invites. He inspires people to look within and discover their own potential - not just what they can do, but who they can be. And perhaps most importantly, when he leaves, something remains. True motivators are measured by the lasting effect they have on others.

And then, there is another path. I’ve faced many obstacles in my life - moments when I almost gave up. But I kept returning: making effort, meditating, studying, refining my attention. At some point, something became clear. I realized that I could become my own source of motivation. Since then, I’ve tried to sustain that awareness. In such a complex world, self-motivation carries a quiet strength - but only when it comes from self-leadership, particularly self-control and self-empowerment.

Motivation is not a single moment; it is a continuous process. And perhaps understanding this… allows us to remain, more often, in a state of quiet satisfaction.

Trust… traps and boosts

 

Trust used to be something almost invisible: a quiet agreement between people, a sense that what you see is what is.

Today, that simplicity is gone.

We live in a time of artificial intelligence, manipulated realities, fake news, deep fakes and information that looks real, so real… and it isn’t. Trust is no longer just a feeling, it asks for discernment, presence and a different kind of intelligence.

And yet, even in this landscape, the need to trust has not diminished. If anything, it has become more essential. Because without trust, everything collapses into suspicion… and living in constant doubt is exhausting.

I remember a simple exercise I used to do with teams. One person would stand, close their eyes and fall backwards; the team would catch them. Nothing sophisticated, no technology, just people looking for something meaningful.

But what happened at that moment was powerful. The person falling had to let go and at the same time, others had to be fully present. Trust was not a concept - it was an experience.

And that is something we are slowly losing: the experience of trust. We may talk about it, question it … but we don’t always practice it. So, let’s practice…

But, yes, trust also has its traps and those are reasons for which many people avoid trusting.

Being naïve is one of them. Confusing trust with blind acceptance or assuming that because something feels right, it is right. Let’s not forget overconfidence and trusting excessively in systems, in roles, in titles, or even in our own judgment without questioning.

There is also the subtle trap of believing in someone simply because of their experience, trajectory or reputation, as if the past could fully guarantee the present.

Then, on the other side, there is the inability to trust, because past experiences closed the door and disappointment becomes a filter. For protection, we turn away from others and live in our little castle, cove or cave.

Trust moves in this delicate space between openness and discernment, letting go and staying aware. When it is healthy, trust does something very specific: it creates a sense of inner safety. Not because everything is certain, but because there is a willingness to engage with life even during uncertainty.

There is a feeling of being supported… by others, by processes, sometimes even by something deeper, which cannot be fully explained.

And maybe that is the real shift required today: to stop seeing trust as something we either give or withdraw… and start seeing it as something we cultivate.

Not blindly, not rigidly.

Consciously, trusting with eyes open, with full awareness. Trusting not because the world is perfectly reliable, but because we are creating it, at every moment.

Nobody is to blame…

 

I would like to use this post not so much to explore the topic of guilt, but to give you ideas, so you can explore it yourself.

• Ask yourself: what is the difference between being guilty and responsible?
• When a person is guilty, go to jail, physical or in the public opinion, while a responsible person looks for correcting, amending and overcoming the error.
• When I blame myself, I send myself to a jail in the depth of my mind… No escape!
• When I blame others, I send them to a jail in my mind… They will always be there!
• By blaming others, I am disempowering myself; they are the ones who did it, but I am the one to live with the consequences.
• Blame and guilt are all shields that try to protect us from getting hurt.
• Instead of blaming yourself, change.
• Instead of blaming someone, empower yourself.
• Honesty and truth are the greatest weapons against blaming someone.
• Find protection within you, by using your resilience.
• Find protection in God, by meditating.
• Find protection in others, by talking and having a dialogue.
• Why did this really go bad? An honest answer will help you healing.
• Healing is part of overcoming any sense of blame.
• Mercy is part of overcoming other people’s part in the problem.
• Understanding gives us the full picture, so that we can find solutions, instead of blaming.
• Solutions may not come, but by focusing on them, you will change.
• Forgiveness… it is more beneficial for you than others.
• Forgiveness… opens doors to healing.

To listen, a transformative force

 

It is not something we naturally learn, and yet listening may be one of the most valuable soft skills we can develop.

Think about its practical impact.

• Parenting. Instead of speaking, correcting or trying to explain everything, experiment with listening to your children. Much of what they say may seem irrelevant… but in between, there is a treasure. By listening, you begin to understand who they are, beyond their behavior.
• Therapy and crisis. Few things are as powerful as offering someone the space to be heard, to listen without interrupting, rushing to fix or the need to conclude. Sometimes, what the other person truly needs is not advice, but relief - the simple act of emptying the heart.
• Friendship. Listening strengthens bonds. With friends, neighbors or colleagues, it is not about remaining silent all the time, but about sensing the right moment to speak or to be quiet, a balance that creates trust.
• Reflection. There is also someone essential to listen to: yourself. Through meditation, journaling or quiet pauses, an inner dialogue emerges. Learning to listen to that soundless voice is one of the most meaningful acts of personal development.

Listening, is not passive. It is an active, intentional act of presence. To listen deeply is to give attention without interference. It is to reduce the inner commentary that constantly wants to interpret, judge or respond.

Many times, while someone is speaking, the mind is already preparing an answer, agreeing, disagreeing or drifting away. To listen is to control the mind and focus.

But as in anything, there are aspects that should be avoided; we may call them subtle traps: interrupting internally, evaluating too quickly, filtering everything through personal opinions, being emotionally affected, being exploited by the speaker and by having your own voice denied.

Real listening requires a certain humility, a willingness to pause and truly embrace the other with your heart. Add a high self-esteem that will keep equilibrium internally.

And if you need another point to develop this soft skill, what about this: by listening more, concentration naturally improves and attention becomes sharper. These byproducts will influence other areas of life making your conversations richer, relationships more genuine and a clarity about your personal purpose.

This is why listening can be transformative; not because it changes others, but because it changes the quality of your own life.

You are different than the rest of your team; what to do?

 

A team can look like many things: a group of colleagues working toward a goal, a family sharing a home, a community gathering around a belief or a purpose. In all cases, a team is not defined by similarity, but by coexistence and a common goal.

And that’s where challenges come up.

Focusing on coexistence, at some point, you may realize you think differently, act in a unique way or even value things that others don’t. Maybe you are more reflexive in a fast-paced group or more expressive in a quiet environment. Perhaps your priorities don’t quite match the collective rhythm.

The first instinct is often resistance (I am different, nobody can tell me what to do) or expectation (They should understand me, they should adapt) .

But reality is simpler: you cannot shape a whole group around you. What you can do, however, is something more powerful.

You can learn to adapt without losing yourself. Adapting is not betraying who you are, in fact it is choosing how to express who you are in a way that others can perceive in a positive way. It is intelligence, not submission. It is awareness, not weakness.

I know we all want to be accepted as we are, but let’s understand this: there is a subtle but important difference between being accepted and adapting. While acceptance comes from others, adaptation comes from you.

If you wait to be accepted as you are, particularly when, for that reason, you are unable to participate fully in the team, you may be resented or avoided by others.

On the other hand, if you adapt by observing, understanding the dynamics, respecting the space and adjusting your approach, you may create the right conditions for acceptance to naturally grow.

A team doesn’t need you to be the same as they are as individuals. In fact teams enrich from people’s individuality and particular specialties, but they do need your participation and commitment.

The bridge between being different and belonging does not start from others’ side; it often starts from your willingness to take the first step.

The Power of Asking the Right Questions

 

During my coaching certification, one concept was permanently imprinted on my mind: I have to find the right question.

Logic usually points us in the opposite direction. We are taught from a young age that the goal is to find the right answer. But I want to defend the "right question." Here’s why:

• Answers are now a commodity. We live in a sophisticated era in which answers to almost anything is available at our fingertips in seconds - a reality our ancestors couldn't have imagined.
• Easy answers kill the dynamic. Because they are so easy to get, their value has diminished. They don't incite conversation anymore. I remember a TV show, where a group of friends had a heated, friendly debate about the most popular food. Years later, that same group would have just pulled out their smartphones and received a cold, unenthusiastic answer from the internet: Bread! It’s efficient, but cheap, ending the moment rather than starting one.
• We must trade "cheap" for "deep." Since answers are cheap, we must improve our questions. This isn't about using "big" words or complex grammar; it’s about depth and meaning.
• The quest over the destination. Questions are deep when they are sincere. They come from a quiet place inside us, asked not to find a single "correct" response, but to stimulate a quest. Think of the classic: Who am I?
• Meaning drives growth. A meaningful question contributes to self-development or helps us deconstruct an obstacle. It forces the person to explore a landscape of possible solutions rather than a single exit.
• The mark of a "right question." A right question might be simple in its construction, but it lacks a direct answer. It isn't a "yes or no" thing; it requires elaboration, reflection, and deep thinking.

In a world obsessed with the destination of a “result”, let’s rediscover the beauty of the journey. Let’s stop settling for “bread” and start hungry conversations that lead us to places an algorithm would never find.

The end… or the beginning

 

Once, I left work as usual and went to catch the bus home. I used to work in a very nice and pleasant place, but something surprised me: there was a crowd at the bus stop. On the ground, a person's body, covered with a white sheet.

It seemed bizarre. If it were today, I would undoubtedly think it was some influencer filming something or, perhaps, a soap opera. But, as fate would have it, the bus was late that day, and for more than 30 minutes I stood there observing the scene.

Death, the end of a person who finished their life in a public space, in a time without cell phones to call someone…

Life, the energy of the people surrounding them; anyone observing from a distance - even myself - would think it was some kind of party. And it made me think about how we look at death, so ugly and frightening, so much fear… Yet, death is the end of a life fully lived. Perhaps the person didn't have time to go to college or retire, maybe they couldn't say goodbye or return what the neighbor had lent them. But it was their complete experience.

We will all leave in the middle of something… we will all leave something unfinished. But all of us, absolutely all of us, will leave when our life's journey ends.

That will be the extent of our contribution to others, our city, our country, the world.

That will be the point of personal enrichment from having been in contact with so many people, from having lived in such places.

 

Death is simply a process of conclusion. It is the awarding of a certificate, the diploma we receive for having lived. Death is, in a way, the celebration of a life.

Therefore, celebrate your life, and when you depart, you will feel that it was worthwhile.