Do you trust the way you deal with things?

 

I was thinking recently about how we manage our own life - not in big philosophical terms, but in very simple things. Objects. Meetings. Walking around the block.

And I’ve noticed something: things have become… a bit more complicated.

Since COVID, my way of managing time has slowly worsened. It used to feel almost natural, almost precise. Now it feels heavier, fragmented. And I don’t think I’m the only one. Many people seem to be struggling with how to handle their own “stuff”.

In my case, just after or during the pandemic, I created new routines, new activities, new ways of using my time. It made sense then. But now, with in-person life fully back, everything is overlapping. What worked before is now creating friction.

Maybe each person has a different version of this story. But the feeling is similar: something in the way we manage our lives needs an update.

And here is the interesting part.

We don’t just manage things - we develop a way of managing them. Almost like a personal operating system: you learn it, you refine it and without noticing… it becomes a habit.

Like someone who walks their dogs always the same way, at the same hour, with the same route. It works. Until one day, it doesn’t. The dogs change, the environment changes or simply life asks for a different rhythm.

And yet, we tend to keep doing the same, ignoring the signs, avoiding to face the new reality or because we don’t know what to do.

Reality, however, doesn’t wait. Technology shifts, social dynamics evolve, and health, priorities, even our inner motivations… they all move. Quietly, but constantly.

And suddenly, the way we used to manage life starts to feel outdated.

Maybe changing how we deal with things is harder than dealing with the things themselves.

One option is to tighten control. To micromanage and try to fix everything by paying attention to every small detail gives an interesting sensation. And, paradoxically, this often makes things feel even more overwhelming - as if life had become a collection of tiny, urgent fragments. Emails, for example…

Another option is more subtle and perhaps more challenging: to shift from management to leadership. Management is about handling tasks. Leadership is about setting direction.

When we trust our direction, we don’t need to control every step and we may be allowed some margin. We can make mistakes, we fail or we forget doing something... And we flow, fixing what is needed, changing what is required and enjoying life much more.

Of course, trusting the process doesn’t mean being careless, but to recognize that not everything needs to be tightly held in order to work.

What really needs to change is not the number of things… but the person who is trying to hold them all together. Me, you…

And that change, although uncomfortable, might be exactly what brings things back into balance.

Discovering your inner peace

 

Go within…

There, inside your mind, there is so much peace in there. Experience it…

For a moment, leave aside everything you are doing and just merge yourself into that experience… Can you feel it?

It is not as difficult as people say.

It is not as easy as people say.

It is an effort of concentration and detachment, but without pain or suffering.

The beauty of finding your inner peace is that, it will always be there. Whenever you need it, it is there…

Try it out, find it and keep it in your mind. Use it when there is a need.

If things don’t go as planned…

 

Almost two hundred people I know had their flights cancelled or postponed, due to the war. I saw in their faces that mixture of powerlessness and silent anxiety.

I was in India recently, and those scenes stayed with me. They left me with a question that feels more relevant than ever: How do you plan your life in a world that refuses to be predictable?

Because let’s be honest… we love plans (at least, I love them). They give us a sense of control, direction, even identity. But life, every now and then, reminds us - gently or abruptly - that control is often an illusion.

My reflection is about what to do when things become unclear.

Our first instinct is usually to do more things: think more, calculate more, try to fix things faster. We check our resources - time, money, skills – and we try to increase them, save them.

Of course, all of this is important, but what I saw there was that it is simply not enough. There were people who were glued to an app, trying to find a way out, or those who could buy a new ticket just like that; still, there was no response, no ticket…

Situation sometimes are bigger than our tools and resources, our capacity. It results into an inner pressure, so we try and force solutions, pushing our way through.

There is however, one thing that was useful. In many faces, I saw plenty of smiles and calm, a fresh sensation that said things will be OK. That is the one possibility I saw that was the most successful: resilience.

It is an inner strength and quietly steps in, not as a dramatic force, but as a deeper power. It helps us adapt and, instead of denying the horrible reality, we learn from it and move on.

So, how do we plan when certainty is not available? I don’t think the answer is to stop planning… but let’s plan differently:

• Avoid rigid expectations. Plans are useful, but expectations can turn into traps. Hold things with openness.
• Plan for the best, prepare for the worst. Not from fear, but from maturity. It creates inner stability.
• Think beyond “Plan B”. Sometimes even alternatives fail. Go further - visualize yourself after the situation. How do you want to feel when this is over?
• Stay calm, wherever you are. Calmness is not a luxury; it is a tool to be used in these cases.
• Look for help… in the right place. Not all advice is helpful and not all voices bring clarity. Choose wisely.
• Accept what you cannot control. Not as resignation, but from resilience. Save energy and use that strength in dealing with this reality.
• Stay focused. When the outside is shaking, the inside must be steady. That’s where a real direction comes from, a possible solution.

The Superhero of Your Life

 

When you hear the word superhero, what comes to mind? A cape, a mask, someone flying across the sky to rescue the world at the last second. We usually imagine strength, spectacle, something extraordinary and almost unreachable.

But if you pause for a moment and look carefully at your own story, you may discover something surprising: you have already met your superhero. In fact, you have probably met more than one of them.

In my experience, everyone has someone who saved them at some point. Not necessarily in a dramatic, life-or-death scene, but in quieter, more human ways.

Someone saved your job when they defended you in a meeting or another person saved your grades when they stayed after class to explain what you didn’t understand. There is that person who saved your marriage by offering perspective at the right moment or saved your confidence when you were about to give up on yourself.

And sometimes, yes, someone truly saved your life. It might have been a teacher who believed in you when nobody else did, a friend who answered the phone at two in the morning and simply listened, a colleague who stood by you when it was uncomfortable to do so or a stranger who spoke one sentence that changed the direction of your thinking. Those moments may look small from the outside, but in the context of a person’s life, they can be decisive.

Although psychology and resilience research remind us that timely support and simple acts of encouragement can have long-term effects on a person’s growth, we often underestimate how powerful it is to be present for someone at a critical moment.

We have all superheroes and the point, however, is not to worship them. It is not about building statues in our minds. It is about learning and cultivating whatever they did to us. It's about telling their stories, keeping their memories, and understanding that, at the end of the day, even superheroes fall sometimes, and you can be the legacy that will make them rise again.

Some of my own superheroes are no longer alive, and yet they continue to teach me through their words, their example and the way they faced adversity. When I remember how they handled pressure, disappointment, critical situations or injustice, I find guidance for my own challenges. Their physical presence may be gone, but their influence is still active.

I invite you to ask yourself a few questions:

• Who believed in me when I doubted myself?
• Who challenged me instead of just comforting me, helping to get out of my comfort zone?
• Who stayed by my side when it would have been easier to walk away?

Your superheroes are not outside your story - they are woven into it. Many times, in strange ways…

A harsh correction, a painful disagreement, even an unfair criticism can become the spark that pushes us to grow. There is a concept often discussed in psychology called adversarial growth: the idea that opposition and difficulty can strengthen us more than comfort ever could. None of my superheroes ever wore a cape, but in this case, not even a friendly face.

They did not applaud us, instead they confronted us. They questioned us and they exposed our weaknesses. At the time, we may have labeled them as enemies, we may even cry or run away.

And yet, because of them, we became better. They saved us in a very strange way, just like some superheroes from comics look like bad people.

One more layer to this reflection: even if someone extended their hand, you were the one who decided to hold it. Even if someone opened a door, you were the one who chose to walk through it. Even if someone offered guidance, you were the one who applied it. Help can be offered, but transformation is always a decision.

In the end, the greatest superhero of your life has always been you. Not because you never needed anyone, but because you accepted help when it came and you allowed yourself to learn. You transformed pain into maturity and support into strength, you stood up, you continued, you chose to grow.

Maybe today is a good day to remember the people who helped you rise with a smiling face or not. It is a beautiful day that you are your own hero too and celebrate it.

And maybe it is also a good day to recognize that somewhere, in someone else’s story, you are the superhero they quietly thank in their heart.

Are challenges a curse?

 

I have faced so many challenges in my life that I could write a book about them… Of course, that would be yet another challenge for me.

Challenges have a strange dual nature: they can be the worst thing that happens to us - or the best.

At their worst, they drain our energy. They interrupt our plans. They reduce our sense of success. They whisper quietly that maybe we are not capable enough. If we label them as a curse, they become heavy and once something feels heavy for long enough, it begins to dishearten us.

But here is the uncomfortable truth: the challenge exists. Whether we complain or deny it, it remains there.

At their best, however, challenges are like test papers. Not punishments - evaluations. They reveal where we are strong and where we are fragile. They stretch our patience. They expand our capacity. They force us to use muscles we didn’t even know we had.

The same event can either shrink us or shape us and the difference is not the challenge.

It is the meaning we give to it.

If we think challenges are curses, we will slowly lose hope. If we see them as training, we begin to access something deeper - resilience, inner power, creativity, courage.

Perhaps challenges are not against us, but you are the one who can answer this:

Are challenges a curse?

Effects of a Modern Life: Exhaustion

 

I do feel people are too tired… Don’t you think so?

Perhaps the problem is related to health and so the person should go to a doctor and check upon this. Or, maybe the problem is not the lack of rest, but the kind of rest we choose.

While trying to relax, I see friends endlessly scrolling on their phones, watching one episode after another, jumping from one video to the next, trying to “disconnect” from their source of stress and to feel good. And yet… they are exhausted.

It’s a strange paradox of modern life. We have more entertainment than any generation before us. More comfort, more technology, more “free time” and more possibilities to make our lives easier. And still, many of us wake up tired, go to bed exhausted and live drained of energy.

We are confusing distraction with restoration, boredom with silence, doing nothing with slowing down, and this is why, we keep feeding the mind with noise.

Another invisible factor is the pressure to always be “on”. We have reached a level in terms of society that many people feel obliged to be productive or available, 24/7. We jump every time a notification beeps, vibrates or screams…

Relaxation is competing with that sense of success we have created and cultivated along many years. We HAVE TO BE BUSY, we HAVE TO WORK LONG HOURS, we HAVE TO SEND OUR CHILDREN TO THE BEST COLLEGES, and so on… Look, this is not bad, but partial success does not work well. Imagine you have a fruit, a whole fruit, but you eat just half of it and you miss the best part. Success is not only achievements and attainments, it is also that incredible sensation of victory, an elated stage in our minds and an eternal smile…

The third thing that is making us more and more tired is virtual-based relationships. I do remember at the end of every year, I used to call EVERYONE in my cell phone; now, with more than 1,000 numbers in my phone, I would have to start wishing everyone a “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” from January!

And let’s not talk about the endless number of photos and videos, audios and things that, in the past, meant there was a meaningful relationship, and now it just occupies space in the cell phone memory. A virtual-based relationship makes us tired instead of enriching each other.

Real rest is not an escape. It means stillness and it is conscious, rather than just trying to forget. It is not travelling, but deepening. It is not scrolling eternally in your phone, looking for something; instead, take whatever is there in front of you and make it a beautiful entertainment moment.

It may be uncomfortable at first as it requires us to face silence and be alone with our thoughts. Real rest comes from a powerful reflection on what we have been avoiding and stopping us to escape from our reality.

Yes, meditation and a change of lifestyle will help. Definitely, power naps and a sound sleep will work wonders.

My suggestion here is that you start from your awareness, letting go other ways of resting that ends to make us even more tired and embracing new possibilities. You will see the results I am sure of that.

A safe space for you

A friend of mine insists that what everyone really needs is a safe space… A place in which there is no danger or threat, with a feeling of being accepted, no matter what or who we are.

Is that even possible? Yes, it is… At least I think so…

Here are the essentials for you to build a safe space:

·       A good positive attitude, that is the most important thing you will need.

·       People who are good to you, who care about you and you care about them.

·       People who… well, not necessarily care about you, but you need them and you can have a dialogue with them.

·       A nice space… It is personal, but you can add some art, music, lots of nature, light…

·       Meditate in this space regularly, so that you create a whole new atmosphere.

·       Don’t talk about this space to other people… keep it as a beautiful secret.

·       Don’t keep things that disturb you, even though they may be necessary.

·       If there are things you need, but they upset you, take them when it is necessary and take them out after that.

·       If you can’t have a proper physical place, even a beautiful park can work…

By creating and sustaining a safe space, benefit will come not only for you, but for many others too.