Healing the self by recovering balance

 

In the previous post, we explored the idea of a “negative balance” - the way body, mind and soul try to compensate when life goes out of alignment. Even though the system keeps working, it often does so at a cost: pain, stress, emptiness or disconnection. A “negative balance” allows us to function, but not in harmony. So, the natural question arises: how do we move from compensation to true balance?

 

How do we fix this? How do we move toward a real balance?

Real balance is not achieved by fixing only one area of life. It is not just a question of changing our diet, starting to meditate or resting more.

Balance is a dynamic relationship between opposites:

·                 Pragmatism and spirituality.

·                 Action and reflection.

·                 Body and soul.

·                 Money and disinterest.

·                 Nature and civilization.

·                 Leisure and inner silence.

·                 And many more…

When one side dominates, the other tries to compensate. And this is why a negative balance appears, disguised as stability or a “normal life”.

It is important to remember something simple and powerful: balance is not something we achieve once and forever. It is a cycle in which we get it, we lose it and we rebuild it again… and possibly, we will lose it and rebuild…

Think of walking: one foot leaves the floor and goes higher than the other - at that moment, there is disbalance; then, that foot reaches the floor, slightly ahead the other one, not because of a competition between feet, but to regain balance. And there it is, the other foot, ready to rise up… Each time we walk, we have learnt a bit more until we master it.

Each cycle teaches us something deeper about ourselves in terms of our limits, our attitude, our priorities, our awareness…

For me it is helpful to check myself, through questions. For instance, in relation to my work, I could ask: “Am I productive?” But I ask instead: “Can I keep doing this for a long term?” “How healthy is this work?” “Is this aligned with who I really am, with my purpose and vision?”

Living in balance does not mean avoiding effort, challenges or discomfort; it means choosing harmony instead of constant compensation, becoming aware when we are forcing ourselves to adapt to unhealthy rhythms.

Instead of falling into the easy and “natural” negative balance, we must pause and ask ourselves: “In which part of the cycle am I right now?” “Am I rebuilding, compensating, avoiding or healing?” “Am I really balanced?”

And maybe the most important question is:

What kind of balance am I living today - a healthy one, a negative one that I have learned to normalize, or am I healing and rebalancing myself?

When we experience balance, but it is negative

 

I have lost my balance so many times that I lost count.

In terms of health, I still remember living for years with a deep headache. It was not occasional. It was not “from time to time”. It was all the time. For years.

Balance is part of our nature. So much so that when we lose it, we try - consciously or unconsciously - to create another form of balance, sometimes an unhealthy one. It is what I call a negative balance: an adjustment that keeps us functioning, but at a cost.

Later, a doctor helped me understand what was happening. My body was compensating for an internal imbalance. It had created its own “solution”, one which was painful. That moment brought a deep realization: in human life, balance is not always immediate. When we lose it, we may take years to rebuild it. This is why, the negative balance comes in, as a way to compensate, until - and if - we recover the normal positive powerful balance we lost.

But, beyond myself, when I look around today, I feel many people are living in this same kind of negative balance, lives increasingly out of sync with natural rhythms, body, mind and soul.

Let’s look at how this works more closely:

• The body. We move less. We eat food that nourishes less. And then sickness appears - not as punishment, but as a messenger, a signal that something is out of alignment. The body is constantly trying to bring us back to equilibrium. When we ignore those signals, the compensation becomes heavier, more painful and more persistent.
• The mind. Overthinking, anxiety, endless worries... These are no longer exceptions - they are becoming the norm. The mind tries to compensate for inner emptiness or lack of direction by producing constant activity. Thoughts replace silence and noise replaces clarity. For a moment, this gives the illusion of control or purpose. But deep inside, it only creates more exhaustion. Another form of negative balance.
• The soul. In the past, people practiced their religion. Then many only spoke about it. Now, for many, even truth itself has become blurred. The soul needs silence, meaning, connection and that inner fire from those times. Without nourishment, the soul looks for substitutes: constant distraction, external validation and an endless consumption of information.

A negative balance makes the system to work, but not in harmony. How to fix that? A topic for the next post…

To let go of control, self-control is the solution

Control feels like safety. When you are in control of your job, your family, your life or anything really, it is like you can do whatever you want.

So, letting go of control sounds almost irresponsible as it gives structure, predictability and the comforting illusion that, if we manage everything carefully enough, nothing will fall apart. And yet, life has a subtle way of reminding us that control, when taken too far, becomes tension.

Much of the pressure does not come from what happens, but from the constant effort to make things happen our way: to control outcomes, people, timing, emotions - even ourselves. This kind of control narrows our perception of life and it demands constant vigilance, leaving little room for luck or fate.

Letting go of control does not mean giving up. It does not mean passivity, indifference or lack of responsibility. It means recognizing the limits of external control and shifting attention inward.

This is the point when self-control quietly enters as the real solution.

Self-control is not about suppression or rigidity as many would think. It is the ability to choose a response instead of reacting automatically. It is the strength to pause, to observe what is happening inside and to act from clarity rather than impulse. When self-control is present, there is no need to control others or circumstances.

Ironically, the more self-control grows, the less external control is required and that takes us to a situation in which emotions are acknowledged before being unleashed, saving many relationships in the process. Self-control helps us to face situations without the hunger to dominate them.

Letting go of control, then, is not a loss of power, but its refinement. Power moves from the outside to the inside, from force to awareness, from fear to steadiness, from shouting to a deep resilience.

Next time you feel being in control is making you stressed, just go deeply within, meditate, contemplate or just reflect for a few moments. Feel the control you have on yourself. Let go of the control in the world.

And then, act.

Emotional Burnout…

Sometimes emotions run wild. Often, they are a way of processing reality by throwing outward whatever is inside us - thoughts, feelings, perceptions, worries.

This emotional outpouring usually leads to three possible outcomes:

• A sense of relief, accompanied by understanding or compassion from others.
• A sense of powerlessness, along with indifference - or even opposition - from others.
• A feeling of being completely drained and exhausted, regardless of how others respond.

The first outcome suggests that emotions were expressed in a healthy way. These are constructive emotions, as they contribute to personal well-being and collective harmony.

The second outcome is linked to destructive emotions. They are toxic, create a negative atmosphere and tend to damage relationships.

But what concerns me mostly is the third outcome - when emotions burn a person from the inside.

As a way of processing reality, if this capacity of expressing emotions becomes exhausted or “burnt,” other less healthy mechanisms often take over - such as addictions or compulsive behaviors.

At that point, the person may feel overpowered and defeated. There seems to be no way out, at least on the surface.

To prevent emotional burnout, some helpful approaches include:

• Finding healthy ways to release emotions, such as sports or group therapy.
• Practicing meditation with a proper methodology that fosters emotional regulation, such as mindfulness.
• Making lifestyle changes; sometimes even a simple shift in diet can have a noticeable impact.
• If burnout is approaching - or already present - taking some distance from the source of stress, for example by travelling, may help in the short term.

And finally, there is nothing more calming than speaking with someone who truly listens.

Just do it, it is very important for you and for others.

A Hero’s Journey to Becoming a Diamond

 

You are the hero of your own life – always! Yet, at certain moments, we go beyond our personal needs and act selflessly for others. Then from hero we become a hira.

This is the story of a wealthy jeweler who chose exactly that path. Instead of living a comfortable retirement or a religious one, as was common in old India, Brahma Baba took up the mantle of being his own hero.

All of us play the role of hero in our lives, but not everyone realizes it. A hero navigates life boldly, discovering new inner lands, helping others with courage and shaping reality instead of waiting for it to change.

Brahma Baba was one of the few who recognized this. He founded an organization that today serves millions around the world. Rather than waiting for transformation in a harsh world, he planted a seed - and watched a garden grow.

He faced obstacles, even from those he wished to help. It was then the coal - the ordinary human striving to do good - underwent the final fire of transformation and became a hira, a shining diamond.

We too carry that potential within us. We can be our own heroes and, at times, heroes for others. But very few shine like Brahma - a hero for others, an angel for millions.

 

Today, I invite you to be your own hero.
Today, I invite you to begin becoming a hira.

Effects of a modern life: burnout

 

We live in a very modern world with so many facilities. Life in general is easier than 50 years ago… And so, why do we get stressed?

Some time ago, stress was the main enemy in the workplace and for society in general. In fact, many years ago, when I had to… eh… miss my job for one day, I went to a doctor who, without any real exam, gave me a note saying I was with stress… Yes, that was part of life and my boss accepted it without any argument.

Then, it seemed stress became a thing of the past or part of our normal, not sure which. People stopped talking about it and you wouldn’t see doctors referring to that anymore; instead, the new culprit was loneliness and social media.

My guess is that hyperconnectivity gave people a sensation stress was not a big thing by opening the door for multiple relaxation possibilities. After all, who can be stressed after watching a lovely video of a dog playing in the snow?

Present time: for some time now, stress is back to the headlines with many articles touching its extreme form: the burnout. It is that horrible sensation in which you are “burning”, or else your brain is getting hammered hardly. A person in that stage, and I have seen a few, cannot work properly or live a normal life.

In its extreme, burnout may even be lethal and its normalization will make people less aware and will not look for a solution. I hope this does not normalize or be forgotten… but the trend has been visible for years, it is destined...

What can we do to prevent burnout?

• Meditate a lot.
• Make space to process your emotions.
• Avoid shortcuts like addictions or constant distraction.
• Exercise and a good diet.
• Reduce unnecessary pressure.
• Limit time with people who drain or push you.
• Consider whether your work aligns with your wellbeing.
• Seek professional support when needed.
• Do things that nourish your happiness.
• Donate, be a volunteer, make other people happy, as giving heals.

And when the flags are all red and the signals are visible (burnout!), don’t wait. Look for medical help; your grandmother’s herb tea won’t work then…

I think we have all experienced stress and I don’t feel anybody is really free from burnout. Please, let’s not allow this to normalize or been forgotten. It is a reality and we must deal with it.

How can you like what is unlikeable?

 

I remember many years ago, someone cooked a sweet dish that I really didn’t like. In fact, it was horrible for my taste - and for a friend’s too. As he used to work in a food company, he immediately knew what to do: lots of chocolate over it! At last, we could eat it.
Many aspects of our lives seem to require lots of chocolate just to be livable.

Because the tendency is this: when we face something we don’t like, someone who doesn’t agree with us, or situations that are clearly not working as they “should”, we instinctively think that should change. The other person. The circumstances. Reality itself.

And yet, very often, that wish is unrealistic.

The reality is rather uncomfortable: we truly have control over just one thing in the whole universe - ourselves. And even that comes with effort, strength and a good dose of humility.

From an Eastern perspective, something quite radical is suggested: instead of fighting life, we endeavor to embrace it as it is. Not as resignation, but as clarity that is born from resilience. Seeing things clearly, without denial and an unnecessary drama.

If possible, of course, change the ingredients, adding a bit more of “chocolate” in whatever you are living. If needed, prepare for the future, taking some chocolate with you, just in case.

And always, cultivate flexibility - internally and externally - so that agreements, adjustments and new perspectives can emerge.

Sometimes there is no chocolate to pour on top. Sometimes the dish stays bitter. But the invitation from life is not to like everything, but to stop rejecting it so fiercely. To notice what is happening inside us. To soften. To learn. To grow.

Maybe liking the unlikeable is not about changing the taste of life, but about changing the way we meet it.