An exploration of resilience

 

Resilience is one of those qualities we often discover when we need it most. We may not even realize how much we have developed it until we look back at a difficult period and recognize that, somehow, we made it through.

After a crisis, one good outcome is realizing our resilience has supported us. I still remember my last job crisis: the two years it lasted, how I felt during that time, the effort I made to maintain calmness in my mind, and the relief I experienced when it finally ended. It wasn't easy, but looking back, I can also see how much I learned about myself.

Resilience is built on many wonderful qualities: hope, courage, patience and inner stability. But I've come to realize more recently that flexibility is an essential ingredient connecting them all. After all, life inevitably changes direction without asking for our permission. And rather than breaking under the pressure, we can learn to adapt and discover new ways forward.

Of course, resilience isn't just about surviving a crisis. It's also about growing through it, learning from our experiences, and becoming better equipped to face future challenges. We may not be able to choose everything that happens to us, but we can gradually develop the inner resources to respond in healthy way.

And because resilience comes from within, practices such as meditation, contemplation and self-reflection can help us strengthen it. They give us opportunities to pause, understand our feelings, and find stability beyond the circumstances around us.

There is another beautiful aspect of resilience: it doesn't benefit only us. When we learn to remain steady through difficulties, our presence can also support others, while our patience, courage and flexibility may inspire others to keep going and move ahead.

I don’t think resilience is about becoming unbreakable and never fail. It's more about learning how to accommodate without losing ourselves, learning the best lessons, how to keep the self from becoming bitter and how to move forward without losing hope.

Resilience is about bringing about the best, even in the worse situations.

Is there anything like too much learning?

 

Everybody should be learning something, anything. Everything!

Right?

I do think so… and yet, I wonder…

Let’s take someone with a very high level of education who ends up driving a taxi. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a taxi driver or having any honest profession. But what if that person’s dream was different and all those years of study never became useful for what they really wanted to do?

Or think about someone who becomes so highly educated that people around them eventually stop listening. Nobody wants to hear the latest discoveries in Chemistry or Math at every social gathering! The list of situations like this could be very long.

For me, the important question is not how much we learn, but how that learning contributes to life.

Many theories are fascinating. In today’s world, some theories can even become more powerful than reality! But a theory only becomes truly meaningful when there is some possibility of putting it into practice.

So, what is the benefit of learning something we are never going to use?

Of course, learning Japanese can be super interesting. Learning quantum physics, ancient history or how to play the piano can enrich our minds. And sometimes, learning has value simply because it expands who we are.

But perhaps there is also a point in which learning becomes accumulation rather than development.

Maybe real learning is not about knowing more and more. Probably it is about allowing what we know to make a difference in our actions, how we relate to others, how we understand life and, ultimately, how we live it.

A Toy...

 

I loved toys and games. I could spend hours playing and, looking back, I think I was doing more than having fun. Playing was a way of escaping from a not-so-ideal childhood, connecting with people who were somehow like me and, simply, enjoying myself.

Some of those toys are long gone, but a few of the things I learned through them are still around.

The important thing is not winning the game. There was one particular game I loved playing with my friends. It was extremely complicated and the competition could last forever! But I never kept the score. What I remember is being there, playing together. The game was a bridge to other people.

Maybe this is worth remembering today as we play many different games at work, in our families and in society. Winning can be important, but if it becomes more important than the people we are playing with, we may win the game and lose something much more valuable.

The best toys are not necessarily the most beautiful ones. I remember having a model of the Pink Panther that I absolutely loved. It was ugly, made of cheap plastic and probably not very good quality. But I enjoyed playing with it.

It makes me think about how easily we confuse appearance with value. Some of the best things in life don't come in beautiful packages. I feel what matters most is not how something looks, but what it brings into our lives.

And then there are desires. My mother, with a lot of sacrifice, managed to get me a very expensive toy. And on my birthday, other kids broke it… I don't think I ever completely recovered from that! But perhaps it was a good lesson and later, I realized that our desires can sometimes take us in the wrong direction. I am sure now I did not need that expensive piece of plastic and metal. What I really wanted was simply to play with the other kids in the street…

We do something similar as adults. We create expectations about people, relationships, work, possessions and the future, and many times, we forget to appreciate what is already there.

I guess growing up doesn't mean leaving our toys behind, but to understand what they were trying to teach us.

What about you? What are the toys and games you remember from childhood and what can they still teach you about life today?

When life changes the rules

 

Sometimes, life changes because we decide it should. Sometimes, it changes because circumstances leave us no choice. And sometimes, we think we want a change, but something internally has not really moved yet.

Whatever the reason, sooner or later we will have to adapt.

Think about something as ordinary as giving someone your phone number. A few decades ago, you might have given your home or office landline. Today, almost automatically, you give your cell phone number. In fact, some people probably wonder why you would still have a landline at all.

It sounds trivial, but it says something important about human beings: we are constantly adapting to new realities.

The interesting question is not whether our reality will change, because it will. The more important question is how consciously we adapt when it does.

There are at least three ways this can happen.

Sometimes the change comes from within.

    We become aware of something, change an attitude, discover a different way of living, or go through an experience that profoundly changes the way we see ourselves and the world. When that happens, adaptation begins with us. If I say, “I am the architect of my life”, then I also have to accept the responsibility that comes with being such an architect.

A new awareness eventually needs a new way of living. For example, if I decide that I want to live a more spiritual life, the decision itself is not enough. My priorities, habits, relationships and even the way I respond to difficulties may have to change. It will require effort, a new architecture plan. But there is something very satisfying about making changes that come from a conscious decision as the effort has meaning, it is connected to something I have chosen.

Sometimes, however, the change comes from outside.

    The world changes, circumstances change, other people change, technology changes and suddenly, we find ourselves living in a reality we did not choose.

Artificial intelligence is a good example: it is already changing the way many people work, learn and create. The natural reaction can be fear, resistance or simply trying to keep doing things exactly as before.

But there is another possibility: stop, reflect, understand what is happening and empower ourselves to respond.

The question then is not simply, “How do I adapt to AI?”. We can add: “How do I use AI without allowing it to define who I am, what I contribute or what my future should be?”

The same principle applies to many changes we do not control. Before adapting automatically, it is worth understanding the new reality and asking what needs to change in us and what should not.

Remember: “I am the architect of my life.”

Sometimes we feel that we need a change, but we have not yet understood what really needs to change, we don’t have the resources or the training.

    This is a third possibility, perhaps the most subtle one. Imagine someone who is unhappy at work and decides to look for another job. That may be exactly what is needed. But it may also be an attempt to escape a problem that will simply reappear somewhere else.

Is the problem the organization? The culture? The leadership? The environment? The lack of purpose? The way the person relates to work? Or something deeper?

Changing the workplace may change the circumstances without changing the paradigm.

This is where self-reflection becomes so important. Clarity often needs to come before action. Otherwise, we can make a significant external change while carrying exactly the same internal patterns into our new reality.

“I am the architect of my life” becomes useful once again, not as a statement (I control everything), but as a reminder that I can define much of how I understand, respond to and shape my experience. Perhaps I will need different resources or training, sometime to sit and reflect, but that is in my hands.

We cannot always choose what changes around us. However, we can become more conscious of what is happening within us while we adapt.

 

Managing imbalances

 

There is a dynamic in life that we sometimes forget: a constant play between balance and imbalance. We seek stability, of course, but that does not mean that all imbalances are negative or that we should eliminate them immediately.

On a path of self-progress, different forms of instability can appear. We can become socially isolated, work too much, be going through a major change, start a new job or a new stage of life, or simply find ourselves in a situation whose duration and outcome we do not know.

Therefore, perhaps the first step is not to fight against the imbalance, but to understand it. What kind of imbalance am I experiencing? Is it temporary? Is it a consequence of a voluntary change? Is it harming my life? Or perhaps it is showing that I need to build a new form of balance?

Some imbalances last a few hours, days or months. In these cases, calmness and tranquility can be great allies, and also proactivity and creativity. It is not just a matter of waiting for the situation to end, but of discovering what I can do while I am living it.

Other imbalances may last longer. Think, for example, of starting a new job or a new career. For a period of time, it may be necessary to learn, change habits, adapt to new demands and accept that not everything will be under control. There, resilience becomes important, but so does the support of other people. A coach, a relative or a friend can offer a different view, specifically if one's vision is clouded by the situation.

And there are imbalances that seem to have no clear deadline. In these cases, it is worth investigating, observing and better understanding what is happening. Not all imbalances are necessarily bad. Some may be precisely the track to a healthier, longer-lasting and more authentic balance.

Of course, there are also instabilities that do harm. Toxic uncertainty, for example, can consume a lot of energy. At this point, self-leadership comes into play: we can't always control circumstances, but we can look for alternatives, make decisions and keep moving forward instead of getting stuck waiting for everything to go back to normal.

Meditation can be another great ally. Not because it will magically make external imbalances disappear, but it can help us find a point of internal stability from which to face them in a different way. When the outside world is constantly changing, having a more stable inner space can make a huge difference.

Along with all of the above, it may be necessary to look at something even broader and more impactful: one's own lifestyle. In addition to meditating, it can be useful to review habits, diet, physical exercise routine, the way we work, rest, relationships and even the way we are using our time and energy.

Finally, there is something else that can profoundly transform that inner space: gratitude. A true wave of gratitude can change how we observe what we are experiencing. It does not mean denying the difficulties or reaffirming that everything is fine when it is not. It is also recognizing what is working, the permanent, the lessons and the possibilities that we still have.

Perhaps balance does not consist in living without imbalances as it is customary to think. Perhaps it means learning to go through them without losing our focus.

Life will continue to have movements, changes and uncertainties. And our self-progress does not depend on avoiding all these experiences, but on developing the skills to live them in an increasingly conscious, stable and healthy way.

 

Earthquake

 

Lives were suddenly lost.

Houses were destroyed.

Those who survived are scared.

Leaders are worried about reconstruction.

It took a moment or two, a few minutes, for tragedy to cloud life itself.

And now it is time to recover…

To heal…

To create a new life…

It is time to understand and embrace, to give more, to transform small expectations…

It is time to think of all that we still have, no matter what.

Those things no earthquake, tsunami, avalanche or any other disaster can take away.

Our peace.

Our love.

Our courage.

Our determination.

Our dedication.

Our solidarity.

 

We cannot prevent a disaster.

But we can overcome a tragedy.

Right now.

Defining Your Path During Uncertain Times

 

We live in very different times, and former ways of dealing with our life path may no longer work so well.

Let’s say you have been walking through life, moving according to your capacity, neither daring too much nor stopping. And then, an earthquake… It would be difficult to remain standing and your steps would become erratic.

Uncertainty is the invisible earthquake we are living through nowadays, constantly moving our steps away from what once seemed like a certain destination.

What can we do?

Using the metaphor of walking, there are three interesting possibilities:

• Be a traveler. Enjoy life with detachment. Be a guest in a world of hosts and contribute as much as possible wherever you go. Learn, grow as a human being and go beyond being affected by the reality around you.
• Sometimes, just wander. Different from a traveler, a wanderer has no clear aim other than exploring. Life has so many different faces and sometimes the only way to experience them is to let go of expectations and simply flow.
• Become a pilgrim. I dreamed of being a traveler and ended up becoming a wanderer… until I found my own path. I became a pilgrim. Life as a pilgrimage means that there is only an objective in mind and the walking itself becomes sacred. It brings satisfaction from within, not necessarily from the outside environment.

Perhaps uncertain times are not asking us to walk faster or to find a safer road. Perhaps they are inviting us to redefine what walking means.

A traveler explores.

A wanderer discovers.

A pilgrim walks with meaning.

And when the earth shakes beneath our feet, perhaps the most important thing is not knowing exactly where we will arrive, but knowing why we keep walking.