What are the real effects of forgiving?

 

Forgiveness is more than being saintly, it is a healing tool, a way to repair broken bridges with other people and a wonderful way to experience constructive emotions. I would like to invite you to read this article about forgiveness, from the point of view of neuroscience: The Neurobiology of Forgiveness.

In my case, would like to share my own experience as I am in a spiritual path for more than 40 years, which I hope will motivate you to forgive. And be forgiven.

• Forgiveness is healing for the one who forgives. In fact, I believe when I forgive, I am forgiving myself to have allowed that sorrow entering in my life or losing my own self-respect due to that.
• Forgiving cannot be compulsory, it must flow. A very wise yoga teacher shared when she could not forgive; she decided to connect the person with someone who could provide whatever they need… She took her time, until she was able to at least talk to the person again, an important step.
• Forgiveness is a way to others’ hearts. When you forgive someone, whether they know or not, a powerful energy links you both again… It may take time, but the relationship can resume.
• Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that all changes because of it. It is a process of acknowledgment and, from this, you can change whatever is needed.
• Forgiveness works best with best wishes, detachment and unconditional love.
• Forgiveness works worse with expectations, grudging and blaming.
• Forgiveness opens wounds, make sure you are prepared for it.
• Forgiveness improves by meditating, praying and other spiritual practices.
• Forgiving does not mean to talk to the other person. Do it when you are both ready.

8 asana of the heart – my love flows and turns into a river of FORGIVENESS

People do things that hurt us, sometimes very deeply.

And when we are honest, we realize we also hurt others…

FORGIVENESS is that beautiful and so necessary human feature that enables a person to heal and to open windows and doors for those who hurt them. But how does that work?

First of all, let’s not confuse forgiving with forgetting. Although the fusion of both may be the ideal, it is not always possible as forgetting may cause some damage in the long term (someone may try to hurt you again). Remembering with forgiveness is probably the best because your relationship won’t get tainted by what others have done in the past.

To really forgive someone, the first step is to connect the self to the deep love we all have within. Any love does not work; it has to be an unconditional love.

Many years ago, one of the founders of an ashram, a spiritual place, in Scotland shared how they worked so hard to create it, particularly her and the husband. But one day he left her for another woman who has come to this place. The spiritual founder reached the conclusion she had only one path due to her background: unconditional love. Eventually the miracle of that love brought her former husband back… along with the person he was now married. Still, she got a friend back and both worked together again until his demise.

That is forgiveness, to let love flow like a river that disintegrates all the bad things due to its speed and strength. To value the intentions and the quality of that person, come on, let your heart take the shape of a powerful river…

 

Whom are you going to forgive today?

Whose love are you going to experience today and feel you are forgiven?

 

This post is part of a series called 8 asana of the heart.

I recommend you to watch 8 postures of the heart.

Different ways of loving others

Love… that beautiful feeling that unites us all.

Along the years, love has changed its shape and form, manifesting in many different ways and being expressed in various dimensions. And yet, it is still very important.

I must confess I have not dedicated much time to think of love, because I used to feel (in fact, I still feel) love is overused. In fact, it has become synonym of very cheap things in the present society.

About three years ago, I started a reflection process to really understand the power of love. A still on-going practice, I have reached the conclusion that love works well due to three basic elements:

• No conditions. The more unconditional is love, that is, the more you love others no matter what or who they are, more power it will have and so it will perform in an optimum way.
• Dedication. Going into the depth of your love towards others and giving up the things you value when that is necessary – this is dedication, and it increases the intensity of your love.
• Detachment. Although they seem to be opposite, love and detachment must work hand in hand, since this quality gives you the capacity of loving unconditionally.

What does the power of love do? Well, that is for another post, but you may start trying from now on…