You are necessary in people’s lives

I would like to remind you of something. And remind myself.

 

We are necessary in other people’s lives.

 

And, of course, they are necessary in our lives.

Not in the sense we cannot live without them, or they cannot live without us.

But without me, without you, others won’t develop some of their best characteristics like courage, humor, trust, punctuality, etc.

By being with someone different, that difference is added into one’s personality. The more we are in touch with people who don’t share our tastes or preferences, the more we will improve.

The same for others.

So, try not to give up on other people… Give them a chance one more time… ten more times… a hundred more times.

 

It is worth, believe me.

 

Walking and moving on…

It's another year and you're still out there... walking and following...

I remember one of my favorite Brazilian songs, Tocando em frente, particularly a few verses:

Penso que cumprir a vida – I think to fulfill life

Seja simplesmente – It is just a question of

Compreender a marcha – Understanding the walk

E ir tocando em frente – And move along

Perhaps we have had fantastic and exotic dreams.

Maybe we had fabulous plans.

It may be that the route we have designed was different from the one we follow today.

And yes, a lot of whom we are today is not exactly what we envisioned.

But this is the path we are on and if we look closely, we will see something…

We will see the possibility of having new dreams and planning something new.

We will notice the landscape of our life, what a beautiful landscape that every day greets us and takes leave from us.

And the reality we are, we really are, is exactly the best of ourselves.

Keep walking…

You are a champion

Did you know you are a champion?

 

You have won innumerable battles and conflicts…

You have conquered hearts and brains, hugs and positions…

You have won over your own mind, defeating many useless and wasteful thoughts…

You have won over your own limitations, beliefs that have been limiting your power…

You have won over your emotions and you moved on, even when situations tried to prevent you...

 

Do you remember when you were over the edge, ready to fall over an abyss? You won!

Do you remember when nobody believed you? You won!

Do you remember when you couldn’t believe in yourself? You won!

Did you know you are a champion?

 

Keep on winning, the world needs, more than ever, champions like you!

Opening doors and windows

Crisis has closed business… has separated many people… has finished many dreams off…

Well, there is no way back and there is no way to transform things overnight. However, we can still do something and there is a secret behind all of that based on doors and windows.

You see, sometimes we try to push through a closed door, what is not so sensible since it is, well, closed. Then we look for other doors and maybe we find them; some will be closed, some will be open. This is basically life.

However, we forget that besides doors, there are also windows… We don’t think of them as an entrance, but they are.

Sometimes, the way out of a crisis is not a door – not a logical process, or an expected one. Sometimes, it requires creativity, breaking a paradigm or changing a perception.

So, if your way out of the crisis is not working, think a bit more, reflect much more and be creative about it. You will come out and I am sure your life will be much better.

A leader can easily remove clouds from another person’s mind – Reason 69

What do you do when someone comes to you with sadness, confusion or weakness in their mind?

Probably you will try to give assistance, helping them to face these difficult period, which is very good and it shows an important feature of our human society: solidarity.

Along with doing that, leaders will give others an opportunity to see beyond the clouds in their mind and to perceive the sun that shines over and above the situations.

Leaders inspire, and inspiration works to enable people to understand there is hope.  More than hope; leaders will also show others their real potential, helping them to start a new path in life.

A path to which clouds are not going to hang over them…

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Motivate from the inside – Reason 48

Motivation has two basic streams: from outside and from inside.  There are people travelling around and giving, RIGHT NOW, a motivational lecture on how to be happy, how to enjoy your work or how to be an excellent magnificent fantastic parent.  it works for certain people, during some periods of their lives.

The outside perspective for motivation may come from the perception that humans are like holes to be filled with something. However, most of the time, the human need for motivation is far deeper than just yelling ‘Yahoo!’ or climbing on a chair and proclaiming to the world ‘How wonderful I am!’.

The inside motivation comes from realisations, deep experiences, reflection and meditation.  These practices help in developing a deep sense of understanding the world on a different level and empower the individual to take very good decisions.  Humans are like wells that never go dry, but at times there is a need to explore it deeper to find water.

A few years ago, a young employee was going through a very bad period in his life, which affected directly his work.  His boss, as young as him, called him for a meeting in a restaurant and let him talk and say whatever was in his heart.  It was a very deep and emotional meeting, without reproaches, orders or even suggestions from his boss.  Many decades later, the then young man still remembers how motivated he felt and how little his boss did, and yet, how much his leader’s attitude mattered to him.

Because of their constant inner motivation, leaders serve as a catalyst, reminding others of their own inner wonders, their powers and qualities.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Beyond praise: motivation without carrots or sticks

An old paradigm to handle people is the famous (or infamous) carrot or stick: the other does good, a reward comes; if he or she does it badly, then the stick beats them.

Well, you cannot say it did not work, as it lasted for a very long time and it is still present at many companies even today. Not far ago, Ken Blanchard has launched a book called Whale Done!, humans are compared with, well, you can guess – Whales! More specifically, killer whales.

However, most people are a little more difficult to be handled, or manipulated, than whales and there are various reasons for that:

• As humans, we are a very complex species. Sometimes carrots work, others don’t, because what really stimulates us to do something is normally beneath many other supposed reasons.
• So, praise has different effect in different people. For instance, it may help someone to perform better next time, but it is just a temporary incentive. Besides, the next time praise comes, it has to be stronger than its former version to make someone perform better.
• At some situations, praise does not work. If you are very good at what you do in terms of skill or dedication and someone praises you for something you already know you do well, so the effect is small as it is just an acknowledgment or credit, which should be given ALWAYS no matter what.
• For some people who are extremely good, they are not expecting praise, but they prefer to receive realistic feedback, quite often negative and so called stick; in this way, they can improve and reach excellence. In these cases, sticks are carrots.

Better, if someone does something exceptional, a big clap, flowers, chocolates or a nice meeting works very well. Also, people are much more informed nowadays and they don’t need praise as they used to, because they know what they are doing and its quality. Of course, as a rule, we should always acknowledge and give credit.

Based on this, what do people like you and me really need, in terms of motivation from our own managers or leaders?

• A leader should always be attentive to other people’s development, helping them to improve their skills. One-to-one meetings or powerful messages do the work very well.
• If someone is performing well, but the manager or leader feels this person is stuck into a particular level, training may be the solution. If the person is in a management position, a coach is needed to help clarifying their needs and the solutions.
• Space. Have you ever been to Google’s office? They give people space so they can create, make lots of mistakes and come with wonderful ideas.
• Failure isgood. For long and middle term, the fact the other has failed means they have tried. If the failure is big, that only means they tried A LOT. It is time for some guidance, a nice talk and let the other reach success, a place you can’t go without having failed a few times.
• Time. A person is as productive as his mind is free. Sometimes, the individual needs a time off, a moment to recover or get his ideas together.

Do you know where your heart is?

What really makes you get up every morning? Is it that job you hate? Or the boring school? Boring neighbors then?

As humans we need motivation all the time, so much that the most interesting thing can make you feel empty and thirsty for other experiences if you don't feel like doing it.

But it is not possible to have motivation coming from outside all the time. In fact, most of my life I felt as I was demotivated to do something by other people or situations. So, it is time to find motivation inside...

Yes, within there is something that help you to move on or keep you doing something that others feel is useless. Some people would call that your purpose in life, your mission. Other people will make reference as my guts or they will think it is their intuition. We can also call it your heart, because it is what makes you move around and feel alive.

By identifying where your heart is, that is, your inner motivation source, you will have many advantages in your life starting with enjoying every moment, no matter what is happening or what you are doing. After all, some things will give you pleasure, others attainment, some will give you a lesson and there will be situations when you will have all those at the same time.

How to do that?

• Past. Think about those things, situations or people that made you feel special, appreciated, very loved or honored. Now, reflect on your inner self; remember how did you feel or which thoughts were in your mind that time. It is quite possible they were similar even though situations were different, and if that is the case, you have found your heart!
• Present. If you wouldn't need money, what would be your job? That will give you a very important clue about your inner motivation. Try and use it in practice by being a volunteer and check your motivation behind. After being certain, just apply that in your day-to-day life.
• Future. How do you see yourself in the future? Visualize it. Check your relationships with others and your inner state (blissful? happy?). That shows you what you really want in life and it can act as a powerful motivation source too, working as a ruler against which you compare how you feel when you do what you are doing with your ideal inner mind state.

Remember one thing: when your motivation is inside you, you will enjoy everything that happens in life, no matter what it is. So it is worthwhile to find it out and to live by it.

Seeing beyond the crisis

One of the faculties of a leader is their capability to see beyond any negative situation.

In the case of a small situation, such as an employee's resignation or the loss of a big client, a leader is capable of finding a solution very quick. With their training, whatever she or he has learnt and their experience, leaders are able to solve problems and move on.

But when the situation is big, that is, when it turns into a crisis, responses are not so fast. In fact, the key for solving any crisis is patience and perseverance; patience, as crisis has its own development and we do have to wait until the right moment comes, and perseverance for the leader's insistence and courage to change circumstances. To solve a crisis you need time...

A crisis blinds people, making them incapable to see beyond the present moment. The leader is probably the only one who can still see the future of the organization.

However, it is not that difficult... Even though in terms of position you are not a leader, it is good and healthy to keep that vision in the background whilst you do whatever you have to do to deal with the present crisis.

• First thing is to remind the self of the meaning of working. When you remember its significance, it is easier to remember the future implications of any action and, although remaining in the present, visualizing the possible future.
• Change hope into reality. Once someone told me hope is only for weak people. That is not true; hope is good, it is healthy and it can keep you fighting for your life, if that is the case. The issue is some people use hope as an excuse for not acting. Do you have any hope amidst the crisis? Do something! Anything, even a small one will impact your life.
• Motivate yourself. When there is a crisis, it seems as dementors are everywhere, taking dreams out of your own breath. And, really, nobody will motivate you... It is the moment to look for motivation. Read. Listen to music. Watch something. Do things that make you believe you can overcome this, and you will do it.
• Support each other. Crisis sends people into conflict. I have seen as families can be broken because money is not there. Learn how to support each other, love each other even more and if you have to leave other people for some reason, keep in touch.
• DO SOMETHING... for others! Crisis can generate a kind of laziness in the soul. Yes, with crisis you lose your job or you are under pressure, too busy to do anything else, but it is one of the valuable things you can do is to help others. Being a volunteer keeps your mind clean and you can see a much brighter future as an effect of your work.

Leadership skills, for dealing with situations

We, humans, have an incredible ability to create "mess" in our lives... Somehow, problems seem to pop up at any moment, destroying the little comfort we create around us. Whether it is a situation that emerged in your familiar life, with some friend, in your work or something is happening in the country, and it is affecting you; your own leadership and the relevant skills can be your only way out of that.

But it is not only "dealing with the situation". The "John Wayne" style, of shooting then asking questions, is not working any more. It is not only the situations which are complex: we are too. People nowadays want to be happy, light in their lives; you will seldom find someone who wants to sacrifice himself or herself.

Therefore, what are the main skills a leader must have to deal with the situations and remain happy?

• Focus on results, work on processes and empower people. This is a key skill - to concentrate in getting results, but to improve the processes and empower your people. Normally, when there is a crisis at a company, they first fire people, then run to get results and don't bother about processes...
• Constantly updating. OK, not like a cell phone, but this leadership-related skill is vital for organizational survival. That means a constant will and ability to study and research, and come with innovative solutions.
• Future perspective. Especially when situations are too "gruesome", this is useful as it projects you towards the future and detach you from the present. This helps the person to keep focus and raise above all obstacles.
• Supporting and motivating. And situations will come. And come, and come... Support and motivation are two sides of the same skill that only works when it comes from the depth of heart, when the person really wills it. It is not only for others; a real leader will keep motivating the self and supporting the self as much as he or she can.

Out of these, I personally think the last one is the most important. When you are able to support and motivate both, yourself and others, it is easier to handle any circumstances and find a positive solution.

That means you need a different attitude in relation to people. For instance, if someone is giving you trouble, look at the person and think: what can I do to help this person? In this way, you will develop a strong bond between you and others. Thinking of future, when crisis arise, these people you supported one day will be there to give you their support.

For this skill, you have to:

• Train yourself to think positively about others and always give them another chance.
• Imbibe gentleness and kindness; learn how to approach people especially when you need to give them bad news.
• Learn how to reward others in a fair way.
• Learn how to be beside others when they fail, showing your teeth by smiling, instead of snarling.
• Understand very deeply the meaning of being a leader.
• Love, love and love, from your heart, everyone who is around you.

Do that and have a better experience at the time of dealing with situations.

And news are...

The power of the media is legendary.

It is able to raise or destroy empires. Companies, people and countries are not immune to that power, and many governments spend a great deal of time trying to neutralize those effects. But at the end, media still wins.

I lived in Brazil during the dictatorship. A school task I enjoy a lot was to buy the Sunday newspaper, a huge edition that looked more like a telephone directory than newspaper. Homework was simple, just select some special news, prepare a collage and take to the school. It was a good reading exercise for everyone. But I still remember that, from time to time, there were strange things on the first page, like a cake recipe. Well, what is a cake recipe doing in the front page. Simple, replacing censored news.

Years later, Brazilian media is stronger than never. Yes, media power is great.

However, it is normally used to spread bad things around, and normally people go to watch, read or listen to something looking for bad things: a fire, killings, kidnappings and the present economic crisis affecting everything.

And its power really created a culture. People are waiting for bad things to come. Everyday. If they don't come, there are always the gossips to fill the time, until the next disaster happens.

Then, a few years ago, that huge power came out of the hands of a few to the hands of all. Social Network has become an incredible phenomena.

It did not steal from the media - which is probably even more powerful - but it created a new way of relating what is going on in the world. And among many subjects, there is one that draws my attention.

Few years back, a 40+ woman dared to sing in front of a big public. No fame, no glamour, just her voice. It was a hit - In a few days millions of people all over the globe knew about her, and it was not because of any of the big chains: her performance was posted into YouTube. It was one of its most watched videos (and it is still that).

Hope. Motivation. Another chance. Among all news of chaos and tragedies, porn and other very negative things, the social network is helping to spread hope around the world. It is helping to make the world a little better, blog by blog, post by post.

Check it out yourself. Just tour around Blogger and see the topics. Or go to your Facebook page and you will see love, peace, humor and all those things we appreciate more and more. And if you see a tragedy, you will normally read nice comments and powerful ideas and images.

It is not a rose garden - or rather it is, as roses have their thorns too. But Social Network has created a way to show the world people love the chance to be better.

I am guessing here, but I am sure one day our TV Network or newspaper will start to show that same trend. And little by little, that power of the media can conquer the world by indicating a path to humanity where there is always something to do, there is always hope and all problems do have a solution, even though it is a few words from a person you don't know even know.

My message to you

This is the message I am sending to all my email contacts. I never thought they were so much! But I feel it is a message to everyone...

At some point we have met. Maybe we were ships passing at a distance, or we were passengers at some train of life, sitting close together.
Maybe we shared something personal, maybe a secret at some point. Or perhaps I wanted to do business with you, to give my especialties to your company, or you wanted to give yours.
Maybe we were born at the same land, or maybe we share the same mother tongue. Perhaps, you have taught me new words of your own beautiful language.
By having someone's email, that means at some point I have written to you. But, technology pace sometimes does not allow us to keep track of who is who.
But something I am sure: YOU ARE A VALUABLE PERSON. Otherwise, I wouldn't email you.
And if I could give you a gift for Christmas, I would like to give you this title: YOU ARE A VALUABLE PERSON.
And if I could give you a preparation message for 2013, I would like to ask you to never forget: YOU ARE A VALUABLE PERSON.
Because next year, your ship will face fog and storms. Next year, your train of life will be delayed, sometimes.
Whenever that happens, I hope you can remember this friend of yours who is writing now, and the gift he gave you.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE PERSON