Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Working on your tendencies to procrastinate

We all procrastinate something: cleaning our room, working on that project, talking with that person, studying for the examination, writing this article, etc.

But there are master procrastinators, people with a diploma on the subject who know the right moment to get distracted (I have just finished a Mahjong game!), who know the right technique or tool to use and postpone what they should have done long before…

And then there is this map of procrastination, used to illustrate this article! I think it gives a (funny) idea of what procrastination is, but I will focus this article on the following aspects, or map landmarks:

  • Comfort Zone. Maybe I am wrong, but I think the main reason we procrastinate is because for some tasks, we have to come out our comfort zone. The name is not correct, as it means an area of security and confidence. The solution is to increase your self-esteem and, in this way, your self-security and confidence.
  • Social Media Forest. It is a very dangerous distraction since it may take hours from one person and they won’t even feel it. The worst is that gives a sense of happiness and even accomplishment! To forbid yourself to navigate social media does not work so well until you find other sources of happiness, but there is something you can do and it is to find a trail in this forest and restrict yourself to it; for instance, only checking social media once in the morning and once in the evening.
  • Daydream Beach. Ah, yes… our mind wanders away effortlessly. To come back from that daydream is a big effort, so it is better to just relax there… NO, no, no… Self-control! We daydream because something is not giving us what we need for that moment and, even though it is hard, self-control is the solution, maybe from a meditation practice from which there is a clear sense of accomplishment too.
  • River of Excuses. For every delayed task there is the perfect excuse or justification. The reason is that people are inherently good and they procrastinate not because they are bad people, trying to undermine something… The strong solution is to improve a sense of responsibility, but without tension, by align the task with purpose and values.
  • Mountains of Distractions. Did I tell you I just played a game online WHILE WRITING THIS ARTICLE? For me, this is the easiest of all the aspects to be solved because the name is right and distraction is not what many people think it is. It is a mountain that has to be climbed and it requires effort to get distracted. Find happiness, joy or peace in the task you are doing, in other words, enjoy it, and if you really feel like have a distraction, consider a relevant break, something that will make you feel better.
  • Sea of the Unknown. The last two landmarks in this map point to hidden reasons we procrastinate. The first one is the fact we don’t know what we are doing. Maybe we do know, but the results are not clear or the reasons behind are unclear. Best solution ever is CLARIFY everything you do, trying the best to be aware of the different dimensions of those activities.
  • Isle of Good Intentions. The second landmark can be interpreted as an anomaly or a paradox, because good intentions are… GOOD, right? The idea of an island comes from the fact that many times, because of good intentions, a person accepts to do a task they cannot do and as a consequence, the person gets isolated from the activity. So, let’s keep the good intentions, but it is important to have a balance between intentions and reality, including the personal capacity for doing something.

Hope this will help you to come out of the Land of Procrastination a better person.





Sunday, April 19, 2015

How to eliminate the shield of excuses from your life

Our defense system is complete, in psychological terms. One of the most useful "inner gears" we have is a shield that protects us from most things we don't want, can't do or simply don't know how to do it. We make excuses.

If we take a macro example, the main difference between a developed country like Japan and another in development like Colombia, is the amount of excuses given in Colombia to not make the right thing: for instance, to not follow strictly laws.

I know it is not only that, but it is a fact if we remove our own excuses, face reality and dare to change our lives, it is quite possible some change will happen.

Question is: how to do it? This shield helps us feeling good, guiltless and at peace with ourselves. I have seen the effects of removing these shields and it is not so nice at a first stage, when all fears come out. This is a little step-by-step on how to do it.

  1. Take all your I can't in account.
  2. Chose one of these affirmations and start to work on that.
  3. Before daring to change anything in your life, understand the reason behind. Also, create a firm inner space for yourself, for instance by starting to meditate or by telling your best friend about it and making him or her available, in case you need to talk.
  4. Dare. Just do it, without postponing, delaying or making up something to avoid it. Dare to do it.
  5. If you feel fear or insecurity, just remember your own unique power, the power of your personal inner space and use it. Don't fear your fears; just enjoy the experience as an adventure.
  6. Experience the greatness of a change in your life. When you break a shield, you open yourself for many new possibilities and opportunities.
  7. Check your experience and its balance: positive and negative. Imbibe the positive and consider the negative as a positive learning experience.
  8. Wait for a while and go to another item, another shield of excuses.