What are the real effects of forgiving?

 

Forgiveness is more than being saintly, it is a healing tool, a way to repair broken bridges with other people and a wonderful way to experience constructive emotions. I would like to invite you to read this article about forgiveness, from the point of view of neuroscience: The Neurobiology of Forgiveness.

In my case, would like to share my own experience as I am in a spiritual path for more than 40 years, which I hope will motivate you to forgive. And be forgiven.

• Forgiveness is healing for the one who forgives. In fact, I believe when I forgive, I am forgiving myself to have allowed that sorrow entering in my life or losing my own self-respect due to that.
• Forgiving cannot be compulsory, it must flow. A very wise yoga teacher shared when she could not forgive; she decided to connect the person with someone who could provide whatever they need… She took her time, until she was able to at least talk to the person again, an important step.
• Forgiveness is a way to others’ hearts. When you forgive someone, whether they know or not, a powerful energy links you both again… It may take time, but the relationship can resume.
• Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that all changes because of it. It is a process of acknowledgment and, from this, you can change whatever is needed.
• Forgiveness works best with best wishes, detachment and unconditional love.
• Forgiveness works worse with expectations, grudging and blaming.
• Forgiveness opens wounds, make sure you are prepared for it.
• Forgiveness improves by meditating, praying and other spiritual practices.
• Forgiving does not mean to talk to the other person. Do it when you are both ready.

You are someone’s hero and the secret for your success is…

Someone out there is looking at you, they are taking their steps by following you and they quote whatever they hear from you. They may be a relative or friend, perhaps they work with you or they live nearby; you are a hero for them.

What about refining the hero you already are? There are of course lots of trainings you can do, but here is a short list of things you can work, so that your heroism inspires many people to be heroes themselves:

• Egoless. This is a stage of the mind and awareness, but in practice it means to not take credit, share credit with others and be reflexive in relation to whatever happened, accepting errors.
• Knowledge. A leader is the one who is full of knowledge in such an extent that knowledge turns into wisdom… That is the point in which a leader becomes a hero!
• Humility. This is the key for success, it is that point when there is so much self-esteem that the person can acknowledge how others are better than them without loosing the fact they are a hero.

To let go and to let in

There are circumstances we shouldn’t be dealing as they hurt us, they remind us of the worse of other people and we are unable to enjoy them. They are not part of a self-progress path; on the contrary they may destroy our sense of purpose.

And so, we just let go of them, we let them to flow to past waters and we move on, back to our self-progress road.

However, from time to time, a situation would emerge in which a lesson can be learnt. It is even possible that situation would make us realize something and change. From time to time, whatever we should have let go… we should not. On the contrary, we should open our heart and let ourselves in…

Maybe by using wisdom or talking to other people, we are able to discern which is which and at times of so much uncertainty, that discernment is even more important, because if we don’t let it go, we may regret about it later, and if we don’t let ourselves in, we will miss a valuable lesson.

In my experience, there is a question that I ask myself: How necessary is for me to go through this? If I understand this is not necessary, I make effort to step away of this circumstance; if I appreciate its importance, I brace myself and I prepare for the storm that is about to come.

Use your wisdom and don’t leave your path of self-progress.

What is the real difference between us and AI*?

The main difference between humans and AI is that humans have consciousness, emotions, and self-awareness, while AI does not. AI is a “machine” that has been designed and trained to perform specific tasks, but it does not have the capacity for experience or subjective thought. Additionally, AI operates based on pre-determined rules and algorithms, while humans have the ability to make decisions and exhibit creativity based on their experiences and beliefs.

The former paragraph was written by an AI… but, as a human being, I would like to explore this more. Or at least, in my own way.

• AI is great to compile information and knowledge, but humans are able to interpret information, to give context to knowledge and to reach to a point that knowledge turns into wisdom, something AI does not. I hope.
• Wisdom can be defined as living knowledge. AI cannot live knowledge… we can.
• Awareness is the main point of difference and it is that which creates a huge difference between us, humans, and machines. We are aware, you and I, of everything around us.
• Our decision-making process is… different. We mix logic and intuition, facts and suppositions. Spiritually speaking, to make a decision starts with DISCERNMENT, then IMPLEMENTATION. AI’s… well, their decision is based on others’ decision and they come from a collection of information bits.

I think Ais can help a lot in areas of creativity or routine and it is here, right now! Let’s use it, with respect for their creators and collaborators, but let’s never forget our own power.

* AI is the abbreviation for Artificial Intelligence. It is not a machine in the mechanical sense, only in terms of its processing capacity.

Being wise instead of knowledgeable

We live in a society that is hungry for knowledge and learning. It has been a beautiful dream of a long time for many people and it is no small wonder to see even the simplest people accessing technology that was available only for high class or academics in a very recent past. However…

There is a cost for life in this knowledge-centered society: knowledge cannot solve all problems. This impossibility generates frustration and even feelings of depression. A high number of articles on topics like 5 Common Mistakes Smart People Make shows this reality. But why knowledge is not enough? That is when wisdom comes in…

After all, besides solving math problems and design complex strategies, a leader or any person also needs to solve relationship issues or to face health problems, for which that person’s knowledge won’t be necessarily useful. But wisdom will be!

It has a variety of meanings, but I would indicate a few levels of wisdom that can be applied to resolve different circumstances in life.

1. A knowledge-based wisdom. I think the first level is pretty simple: just apply knowledge! For instance, you can research about courses that will help you to improve your relationship or heal your health.
2. Intuition. Although some affirm it is restricted to a particular gender, it is not my experience. Basically, it means to listen to the non-logical part, a side of our brain or perception that is able to “catch” signs our conscious self didn’t, and it is not conditioned by gender, age, race, religion or any label. It will guide you in giving a special gift to that special person or talking to a different doctor who would have an unorthodox solution for your problem.
3. Contemplation. There is a point your wisdom comes from a deep contemplation. A few years ago, I tried to discern the difference between contemplation, reflection and meditation; when you reflect, you speak to yourself, while when you contemplate, you let your own self to speak to you… (meditation unites both in one practice). To be wise at this level means you don’t take decisions in a rush; you rather take your time, check between several possibilities and then you take a decision. Therefore, you won’t rush into a solution for a relationship or health, but you will think it deeply and the solution will come to you.
4. A master. It is not the final level, but you can call it a final stage of the path of wisdom. You start sharing and teaching others, and they are able to learn and follow a similar path. Success is measured here not for the master’s achievements – which are still important as they show their own wisdom, – but for their followers’. A master will teach about relationship and health, and their disciples will find solutions.

In which level of wisdom are you?

Wisdom is a treasure

When you need something, you would have to buy or make it, which anyway would imply some expense.

What about those things you cannot purchase or make it, for instance, you need to have a harmonious relationship with others, a very good job or a better health.

Yes, you can buy a new house and in this way your family will be so happy… for a time.

Yes, you can always get another job by going through training and improving your curriculum, but… the sensation won’t last long.

Yes, you can go to doctors (you SHOULD go to doctors), but a big part of your health relies on your commitment and discipline, so… doctors are never enough.

That is the point in which knowledge is not sufficient and you need to go beyond what you know, into the realm of wisdom.

If good and excellent things are expensive in terms of money, also in life the attainment of a wonderful life is not cheap. If knowledge is like money, wisdom is a treasure from which you can get as much as you need.

With wisdom you are able to discern what the people around you really need and want from you, and you are also able to understand how to give them that experience.

Wisdom will help you realize your own professional needs in depth, so that the next job, or even this job, will satisfy you fully.

The way wisdom works; you will manage your health better.

How to get the key for that treasure? There are few things you can do:

• To meditate, contemplate or reflect in depth.
• To listen to others who have got what you need.
• To learn all the time from anyone and anywhere.

To letting go and to let it flow

What is life? A swimming pool or the ocean?

Several years ago I heard that comparison; the person who used it told a group of us how he was an excellent swimmer… in a pool.

As he comes from a surfing country, he thought it would be very, very easy for him to surfing, but when he was out there, he realized he was doing everything different than the rest of guys and his experience was not nice. After all, the ocean is not a swimming pool.

And the main difference is the sense of control that is present in the pool and absent in the sea.

Many decades later, I remember that example to help me understand what is going on in the world right now…

 

I am in the middle of sea, after being in a swimming pool for quite a while. I have lost my sense of control and I feel I am at the mercy of the big and omnipotent ocean called life.

But then, I become a surfer… Instead of trying to control the sea, I use strategy, intuition and wisdom to find a way to flow with the waves.

However, I must go to the beginning and need to let go of the shore. In the case of a swimming pool, the shore is just there, at hand; but in the sea, it is far away. I let go of my past and present, things I like and dislike, hopes and expectations. I just let go.

I let go of my support, my comfort, maybe my personality or my way of thinking and behaving.

I let go and I flow, feeling the wonder of being a master of my own life, a leader of the self.

 

By letting go, I may flow, and this way I turn this year into a wonderful adventure.

 

This post is part of a series for a better year. Good luck!

My mind: a sacred space

Your mind may be a runaway horse, aimlessly running from scene to scene of your life.

Your mind can be like a spoilt little child: crying and looking for attention.

Your mind could be just like a flying kite, being controlled by the winds of situations.

But if you take care of your mind very well, then your mind could be a cool lake from where beautiful positive thoughts would emerge… A very wise person who always has a great advice… Maybe a surf board: with skill and talent you are able to take the best advantage of any wave that happens in your life.

And those beautiful positive thoughts will show you the way; they will help you in your decision and success will be very close to you.

And that advice will open many doors, turning a crisis into unlimited opportunities.

And that wave will be a lever for your own growth.

This is what it means to take care of your mind: to understand its value and to change its form into something powerful.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

Any company is important – Reason 50

We are seeing a world where social means social network and very few people are making effort to create real new company, outside an internet framework.

It seems we struggle by being with other people: there are complaints about this or that person, they suffer if the person is not there and also in their presence, and sometimes they go down the route of living alone as a way to deal with that – okay, maybe a dog can be a better companion…

Leaders have a different approach, because they see others as sources of wisdom, knowledge, talents, qualities and fun!  They are able to enjoy and learn from others, no matter whom they are or what they are like.  In fact, a leader will prefer to be surrounded by people who are different as in this way, he or she will use their commonalities as bridges and their differences will be embraced as valuable experiences, enriching each other.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Any knowledge you get is valuable – Reason 43

There was a time when being a leader was synonymous to have an apparent infinite source of knowledge.  Then 20^th century came…

Knowledge has become very cheap and easily available, and can no longer be used to discern between a leader and a person whose leadership has not been developed.

For ordinary people, knowledge is only useful if it directly helps in their work, relationship and other aspects of life, but a leader will turn any knowledge learnt from school, parents, religion and culture into something precious because she or he is able to connect to its deep meaning.

As an example, a leader will learn the concept of square root, as anyone, but for him or her, the most important thing is the demonstration of the nature of expansion: thereto, one’s capacity for logic and reasoning … It is not a math exercise, it is a deep attainment.

Over time, that same basis of knowledge will inspire others to change their lives or to improve their behaviour.  At some point, knowledge applied in this way turns into wisdom.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Leaders have no impossible obstacles – Reason 39

A leader never sees an obstacle as impossible.  Maybe it will take time and the leader will have to learn many new things to overcome it, but nothing is impossible.

There are several reasons for that, all related to a leader’s wisdom.  First, a leader won’t get into a situation without having the resources, skills or need.  His or her discernment is very sharp and is able to identify this at the onset.

Second, if it does happen that a leader is going through a circumstance that is beyond her or his capacity or resources, she or he will be humble and eager to learn how to win this particular batter, by asking for help or trying harder.

And yet, if not even that makes things possible, a leader is humble enough to accept defeat, embrace it and turn it into a victory through having learnt something useful for the future.

 (Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)