The legend of the place with no Christmas

A long time ago, there was a place in which Christmas was forbidden. The reasons were motive of a legend related to the great-grandfather of the present King.

And people obeyed, as it used to be custom of those times, to the laws of the land, but not completely… In fact, one of the rebels was the King’s own (and only) child, a young Prince who left the palace to live among the people. He found out he was good making candles, and that’s how he was living.

His love for Christmas came from a time he spent in another kingdom, that offered him a better education. Of course, there they celebrated Christmas… The Prince loved it so much that he used to stall going back home until after the festivity.

One day, the King got seriously ill. It was around Christmas time and the Prince was very busy with his business. But, of course, family is family and he left the candle production in the hands of others, while he moved in to the palace again.

When he came to see his father, he gave the healer some suggestions, which he accepted. And he started to decorate the room…

Then the corridors…

The kitchen, the place where all workers lived…

Until the palace looked magical!

He was careful in not using anything directly related to Christmas, but it was obvious.

After a few days there, exactly in the night before Christmas day, his father awakened.

My son, where is he?

Here I am, my father.

What is all these… these lights… candles…? What is going on here?

I talked with the healer and he told me you would heal better in a more… festive place.

The father got silent. He was King, and he knew what his son has done. After a few minutes, with visible effort, he looked into his son’s eyes.

You will be a very good King, my son. You know the people as you have lived with them. You know the value of money, because you had to earn it. You know the value of education, because you have studied. And I know your heart is very big…

Both men were silent for a while.

I don’t value a King for his art of war – there are others who can do that. It would be good if you knew more about politics and negotiation, but there are many others who could do that. I am glad you will be the King and… and… my only request is…

He stopped due to his weakness. The Prince gave him something to drink and the King continued.

My only request my beloved son is that… I never received a gift for Christmas. Could you give me one?

The Prince was stunned! But very quickly he got up from his chair with the intention of giving his father a gift, when the old man grabbed him by his tunic and spoke in a feeble voice:

In fact, I want three gifts…

May you give me your word that you won’t allow poverty to come into our land. At least, everyone should receive some bread and something to drink, and have a shelter.

May you give me your word that you will help the rich as much as the poor. Let them invite you for their functions and give them the present of your presence.

May you give me your word you will never let yourself be disheartened. Surround yourself with wise people, good friends and be happy, until the day you can pass the throne to my grandson.

The Prince looked into his father’s eyes, regretting now to have left him, but understanding it was for the best, and he agreed with all the gifts.

And he gave his father all the gifts and many more. And he inspired his people to do the same at every Christmas, to give three gifts to another person: solidarity, regard and happiness.

May you all have a happy Christmas!

Christmas 3 – celebrating with others

When it's Christmas, she likes to celebrate with the people from her office. TWO PARTIES! One with the morning shift, the other with the night shift. She loves it... but...

When it's Christmas, this sweet couple loves to be with their families. TWO FAMILIES! Hers is funny; his is serious; a very interesting balance. They really like it… but…

When it's Christmas, they cook for the whole neighborhood. There are many very old people, some families where the parents work too much and their food comes with a very special energy for everyone. This family really likes to cook for everyone... but...

When it's Christmas, the doctor and his wife, a teacher, go to remote places, bringing gifts that no one else wants. Both experience extraordinary happiness... but...

They celebrate a lot with others, but something is missing. Something in their life, so when they finish their activities…

They meditate a bit...

They pray…

Read something that lifts their spirit...

Together they watch a movie that could change their lives...

And they sleep with a sweet smile, the smile of those who REALLY celebrated Christmas.

Helping the self

It is a new concept for some, but self-care is IN… Hopefully it is not a fashion and people from next generations will be taking care of themselves more and more.

But self-care does not mean only something physical, there are many dimensions to be taken care including emotions, mental welfare and spirituality.

It means to book some time out of a busy schedule to give the self and so many people could think this is so selfish…

I have learnt many years ago, when I started my spiritual path – which has its origin in India – that the only way to help others is to help first the self, and the example of old sages who used to go to the forest and stay there for years absorbed in deep meditation or contemplation, and then they could go and help other people to overcome their own weaknesses.

You are the most important person and you should be very well. Take your time and learn how to take care of yourself.

When you accomplish that task, many people will be grateful.

Unintended consequences

An old movie[1] showed a very hypothetical situation: imagine if Earth activities would stop completely; it takes place in the fiction work by neutralizing electricity everywhere.

In our reality, it is taking place by a virus and reality is completely different than fiction.

And there are consequences – the 1951 movie hasn’t showed much of the bad results, but in this era, we are watching it online.

Now, by writing this post I have always wanted to stimulate a different positive realistic approach in relation to reality. So I won’t get into the negative consequences we can know anytime by tuning into any media.

But there is something that is being talked at many of the current media: recession. It is an almost cursed word that takes us to images and stories we would prefer to avoid. I myself was brought up very far from the recession epicenter, in time and space, but I consumed so many movies that sometimes I felt I went through the recession, and the sensation was very bad…

So, what to do? Just cry and blame something or someone? Fight?

These are times of uncertainty, that is true, but these are also times for good leadership. At least, a good self-leadership. By being your own leader, perhaps you won’t solve the crisis, but you can have more clarity about what to do.

It is an opportunity for reinvention, to rethink the self and to choose new routes for your life.

It is a wonderful opportunity to take over your own life and design it in a way that your resilience increases and you are able to obtain success even against the odds.

It is an opportunity for solidarity, cooperation and a sense of being part of a big human family, as we never had before.

It is an opportunity… even though it does not look like that a few times. Just try it to see the situations in this different way and check the results.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

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[1] The Day the Earth Stood Still. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still

It is the only way to truly satisfy your debt with the planet – Reason 80

Muhammad Ali drew the attention of a generation: on one hand, due to his skills in sports, but on the other hand the person behind those skills was formidable.

Besides fighting for rights of all kinds – including his own[1] – he promoted several causes and quoted at some point a statement all leaders have in their hearts: Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.

The world has given each of us so much; leaders know it and they happily help others, by going beyond limitations and live in practice the leadership within, by giving benefit to many people and inspire others, then a person can be up to date with his own duties in relation to the world.

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[1] He refused to be draft into the military, due to his religious beliefs.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_Ali

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Empathy and society

As we evolve as humans, we become more and more aware of what is happening with our relationship with others and the need of a new society.

Our way however is not straight as we would expect. As I write, the big trend is to live alone, to work alone and probably to share society as we understand using Internet. I do hope that is not the case of whoever is reading this, but it is the case of so many.

And I can relate to it, as I would probably prefer to not have much interaction with others, but life is wise and I am kind of in the spotlight most of the time. I started to appreciate others’ company not that many years ago, learning to deal with so many differences, all because I do believe in the power of a community with empowered individuals.

This is why I feel at some point, these lonely people will find their way into the new society we are building – more tolerant, more interested in people than in things, greener and better. It may take time, but I have that certainty it will happen.

So, if you want to be part of this new society, you need to learn a very important skill that is not so natural after all.

Although many people describe empathy as feeling what others feel, I disagree. I don’t think I can feel what a mother feels when she loses her son, or someone who just finds out he or she has cancer. But I do care, and out of care I look into the depth of that person, of that soul.

Sometime ago, a friend lost her child and it was in a bad timing of our relationship, since she did something I could not approve. Still, I just put that bad sensation I had aside and I gave her unconditional support, from the heart.

Empathy makes the best of us emerge. It makes us to be unconditional and understand the other in dimensions we wouldn’t imagine there are. It binds us together as a big family, with respect for each other’s thoughts and perceptions.

Former societies were not formed on the base of empathy – from which solidarity comes. History shows they came from mutual interests, ethnic similitude and other very physical and visible traces.

One of the few cases I know of a society based on empathy is related to the flight of Zoroastrians from Persia. According to the legend, King Jadi from Gujarat, India, in the initial meeting between with the newly landed emigrants denied asylum to them. The King motioned to a vessel of milk filled to the very brim to signify that his kingdom was already full and could not accept refugees. In response, one of the Zoroastrian priests added a pinch of sugar to the milk, and Jadi Rana accepted the refugees.

This is an example of empathy from both sides, by the use of wisdom: the King trying to explain why he could not receive more immigrants, and the priest, showing that they would just melt into the Indian society. Whether it is a legend or not, centuries later, the Parsis (as they are known), have adapted to India. Their importance in terms of neutrality has created many stories hen religion conflict affects India, where families of Parsis risk themselves to save other people.

As a suggestion, just look at another person. Right now, if you can, otherwise, just think of her or him. Understand their need and see what you can do, from the heart, even though you cannot do that right now. Feel the sensation of mercy and the desire to help others, and extend your mental hand…

One day, we won’t need empathy, as it will be natural to care, but right now it is an important skill to be developed. Our society is the basis of humankind and it needs our help to reinvent itself.

Your generosity is required at your work

According to reports and observations, sometime ago, life and work were completely separated… Every Monday, you would give up on your life until Friday when you would resuscitate. Of course, along the years, people had glimpses of life during the evenings, but still it was not enough…

A few decades back, someone had the strange idea that work is part of life. Even without proper confirmation, people started to assimilate that concept by changing the rules of work and being be more humane there.

Even crazier, someone talked about values and love AT THE WORKPLACE CONTEXT. Absurd, right?

Anyway, nowadays it is considered by many that work is part of life and so, there is no real separation between both. That means all that love and dedication you have your family, or all that fun and sharing you have with your friends, you should also have something similar for your job, enterprise or work project.

It is a change of attitude that is not yet registered in our general culture (take Dilbert for instance). But it is growing and dominating the general landscape of society.

A good worker, a good employer or an excellent entrepreneur is valued not only for his or her achievements, but also on how they behave in relation to the whole community. It is expected some volunteering work or donation, some care about animals or plants, or at least a different behavior, with more values there.

A few years ago, while working at a company with a team, our leader started to have some headache. With no questioning, the rest of us took over her duties and responsibilities and we all insisted she should leave and go home, since she had an operation just a few weeks ago. That was just one case among many I have been seen.

There is a logical background that favors the company: by showing mercy on an employee, the rest of us felt motivated to work even harder, with the certainty something similar would happen to us if we were the ones to get sick.

But, beyond logic, by integrating work with life we opened a door for deeper reflections on human behavior and communities in general. Qualities as generosity, solidarity or patience are now important at places we normally don’t associate with those values.

Yes, being a good person is not enough to get a job or to keep one, but being a bad person is enough to lose one.

So, think about that, reflect on the invisible power of being generous, showing solidarity or expressing patience with another co-worker, customer or provider. It is important for your own career and the community where you live. And work, of course…

Should I care about others?

In a world of 24 hours media, where you have access to 7 days week information about anyone you want, from anywhere, should you really care about others?

At any moment, there is a conflict or tragedy going on, so I was just remembering a story a friend of mine once told me. He was a very Catholic person and as a good Catholic, he used to like to give alms to the poor. However, one day he was without much money and there were many beggars waiting for their alms - he shared his inner struggle with me as he contemplated and tried to decide to whom he should give his few coins...

Is that happening now, in a massive scale? Should we cry for the victims of Iraq or USA? Should we send money for the refugees in Africa or to the people affected by the last natural tragedy? Or shouldn't we bother at all?

Many years ago, a huge earthquake affected Gujarat, near a place I go every year in India. People from the whole world started to pour money into that state, but I remember someone saying that all was a question of consciousness...

Am I helping because they are poor and helpless, and I have the money? Perhaps, there is another way to see that situation...

In a traditional family, there is always something going on: Frank is jobless again, Mary has problems with her husband or grandpa is not well and someone has to go with him to hospital. Families share responsibilities, in a natural way. Yes, some will complain, but at the end, there is a kind of balance in a normal family.

If we see the whole world as a big family, then it we are looking at a person who is going through a bad moment in their lives. They are not poor, in a bad sense... they are worthy, and if we see them like that, our help won't be a debt for them. We will really be caring about them, in our hearts, not only externally, not only because television is showing us that, but because they are our brothers and sisters.

Not only we will help them at the moment, we will try our best to create conditions so that won't happen again, ever.

Then, it is worthy to care about others. Otherwise, it is better to change the channel...

Seeing beyond the crisis

One of the faculties of a leader is their capability to see beyond any negative situation.

In the case of a small situation, such as an employee's resignation or the loss of a big client, a leader is capable of finding a solution very quick. With their training, whatever she or he has learnt and their experience, leaders are able to solve problems and move on.

But when the situation is big, that is, when it turns into a crisis, responses are not so fast. In fact, the key for solving any crisis is patience and perseverance; patience, as crisis has its own development and we do have to wait until the right moment comes, and perseverance for the leader's insistence and courage to change circumstances. To solve a crisis you need time...

A crisis blinds people, making them incapable to see beyond the present moment. The leader is probably the only one who can still see the future of the organization.

However, it is not that difficult... Even though in terms of position you are not a leader, it is good and healthy to keep that vision in the background whilst you do whatever you have to do to deal with the present crisis.

• First thing is to remind the self of the meaning of working. When you remember its significance, it is easier to remember the future implications of any action and, although remaining in the present, visualizing the possible future.
• Change hope into reality. Once someone told me hope is only for weak people. That is not true; hope is good, it is healthy and it can keep you fighting for your life, if that is the case. The issue is some people use hope as an excuse for not acting. Do you have any hope amidst the crisis? Do something! Anything, even a small one will impact your life.
• Motivate yourself. When there is a crisis, it seems as dementors are everywhere, taking dreams out of your own breath. And, really, nobody will motivate you... It is the moment to look for motivation. Read. Listen to music. Watch something. Do things that make you believe you can overcome this, and you will do it.
• Support each other. Crisis sends people into conflict. I have seen as families can be broken because money is not there. Learn how to support each other, love each other even more and if you have to leave other people for some reason, keep in touch.
• DO SOMETHING... for others! Crisis can generate a kind of laziness in the soul. Yes, with crisis you lose your job or you are under pressure, too busy to do anything else, but it is one of the valuable things you can do is to help others. Being a volunteer keeps your mind clean and you can see a much brighter future as an effect of your work.