Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts

Sunday, August 10, 2025

Silence and chaos

 

There is a kind of noise that exists both, outside and within. It’s the chaos of daily life - messages, decisions, stress - and the chaos of the mind - overthinking, reacting, remembering all details...

To avoid that noise or to decrease its volume, we have silence… Not the silence that is the absence of noise; silence as an inner state, a space we can enter even when the world is loud.

As we are living in the age of chaos, noise is part of the pattern… Yes, we could find a place in the mountains, far from all. Or we can resort to silence.

In the midst of chaos, silence is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s clarity. And it’s healing.

Meditation teaches us to return to that inner silence. Just a few minutes of stillness can shift our state. Meditation isn’t about controlling thoughts, but about not being controlled by them. It allows the mind to settle, and in that settling, we begin to hear our own wisdom again.

Silence opens us to hear the real sound, the sound of our inner voice.

Silence also has the power to heal. Emotional pain, stress, fatigue - these begin to soften in the presence of true stillness. Not the silence of suppression, but of awareness, that moment when we stop trying to fix everything and simply sit in silence. At that point, something begins to mend… maybe not externally - the age we live is of chaos - but inside.

Inside there is deep healing, deep awareness, but the beauty of this practice of silence is that it permeates our reality… After all, even in relationships and daily tasks, silence has a role as it brings focus, patience and depth.

In conversations, a pause can be more meaningful than a rush of words. At work, a moment of inner quiet can lead to better decisions than hours of action and discussions.

As chaos is all around, silence is not a retreat from life; it is the key to a better life.

In chaos, it becomes our compass and guide.

Sunday, October 27, 2024

The challenge of real independence

Before being a teenager, the only thing I wanted was to be independent. I used to imagine myself making decisions about my own life in relation to career, work, personal life… but I didn’t imagine myself having to wash my own clothes, to cook my own food and, worse, to earn my own money!

The dream of independence is a strange fantasy in which a person only thinks of benefits, without their cost; still it is not bad. In fact, the idea of independence took me to where I am today and I do recommend anyone to exercise it.

I would like to give you two tips for a successful experience of independence.

A real tip is to be PATIENT with yourself and life in general. Your independence depends on several factors and it takes time for them to be ready for you, meanwhile it is good to feel INTERDEPENDENT, instead of dependent. It is much more than washing dishes once a week or going to the shopping for the house, it happens when you recognize the other’s independence, you respect it and you help them to develop it, which will help you in your own independence.

Second tip: be PERSEVERANT. Lots of obstacles will come your way, either because it seems life is conspiring so you don’t become independent or you are thinking you were not made for that and it is better to go back to your mum’s house. Just keep on going a bit more and you may set some dates in terms of aims to be fulfilled, which is quite helpful. Another thing that is helpful is to increase your capacity by attending a few courses, meditate more and changing your lifestyle.

Sunday, July 4, 2021

The challenge of real independence

Before being a teenager, the only thing I wanted was to be independent. I used to imagine myself making decisions about my own life in relation to career, work, personal life… but I didn’t imagine myself having to wash my own clothes, to cook my own food and, worse, to earn my own money!

The dream of independence is a strange fantasy in which a person only thinks of benefits, without their cost; still it is not bad. In fact, the idea of independence took me to where I am today and I do recommend anyone to exercise it.

I would like to give you two tips for a successful experience of independence.

A real tip is to be PATIENT with yourself and life in general. Your independence depends on several factors and it takes time for them to be ready for you, meanwhile it is good to feel INTERDEPENDENT, instead of dependent. It is much more than washing dishes once a week or going to the shopping for the house, it happens when you recognize the other’s independence, you respect it and you help them to develop it, which will help you in your own independence.

Second tip: be PERSEVERANT. Lots of obstacles will come your way, either because it seems life is conspiring so you don’t become independent or you are thinking you were not made for that and it is better to go back to your mum’s house. Just keep on going a bit more and you may set some dates in terms of aims to be fulfilled, which is quite helpful. Another thing that is helpful is to increase your capacity by attending a few courses, meditate more and changing your lifestyle.

Sunday, January 24, 2021

By having this this couple by your side, your change will be successful

When life is moving along according to plans, you just need to dance… Life is often a performance and of course, we would enjoy it greatly.

But, many times the rhythm changes and the music you don’t love starts to play… Fights... Arguments… Betrayals… Losing a job… Broccoli…

And yet, you can’t stop dancing as life doesn’t end with one song. You have to keep on dancing…

For that, the best is to count with a wonderful couple who will be along with you, partners in this dynamic dance.

On one hand hold on to patience and let your life feels like a living experience of bliss.

On the other hand, hold on to perseverance and never stop trying…

When you are dancing forever, obstacles come: sometimes you may get disheartened and other times, others get disheartened in relation to you. Patience gives you certainty that if you have been sowing the right seeds, at some point good crops will come up. In this way, patience motivates you to not give up.

However, many times the outcome of your acts will take too long to emerge; perseverance enables you to not give up and keep on trying. But being perseverant is much more than being stubborn – real perseverance will make you check the self and understand what is going on as many (most of the) times it is because of you that things are not taking place as they should.

And that is the formula for success, especially when you are promoting a change: be patient and perseverant.

 

This post is part of a series for a better year, and this is the end, so I wish you good luck with this wonderful year!

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Step 1…

We are just starting to live a new year, so this is a time for a transition.

That means you are probably so busy celebrating (with mask and all) that you are not thinking much about the remaining 362 days or so, and yet this is the right time to start thinking of it.

Consider these first days as the first step to have a MUCH BETTER year and here are three suggestions, which are stages of this first step:

  • To let go – the first part of this step is to let go not only the bad things, but even the good things. You need space to generate a new experience, and to start from a blank mental whiteboard is the best option.
  • Trust yourself – this is the part in which you design the New Year and you have a style that is completely different than mine, your spouse’s, children’s, neighbors’, mother-in-law’s and anybody… Let your ideas flow by brainstorming, using creative methods like journaling or just sitting down and reflecting. The basis of this stage is to trust your inner voice and maybe you want to use this powerful question: What are the ways to be successful this year?
  • Perseverance & patience – you will need this couple of virtues this year. On one hand, perseverance will help you to put all those beautiful ideas into reality. On the other hand, patience will help you to trust yourself and wait…

 

In the next posts, I will get into each of these stages, but you probably would like to start something. Good luck!

Sunday, January 19, 2020

How to open the door of your learning?

Being an autodidact at some point was something as strange as the word itself; there has always been, but not many.

One of the reasons is that the Western teaching system has highly valued the role of the teacher, professor or guru and in some places or environments, it feels like there is no way to learn something without someone else teaching you.

Of course it is valuable to have a teacher, but today, in such a complex society and with so many learning needs, there are not enough teachers and YouTube, books, countless websites as well as many other platforms have become teachers in an unofficial way, training us to deal with new laws or how to plant carrots at home...

However, it doesn't matter if there is a teacher literally in front of you, a young girl with dyed hair talking on your computer screen or a fascinating book, the key to learning will always be YOU.

You and your mental openness, your thirst for knowledge, your desire to learn even while making mistakes... If we could use an analogy, we would say that learning is opening a door and no matter how splendid this methodology is or how necessary the subject is, that knowledge will not get in if the door is closed.

And although there isn't really a method that teaches you to open it, there are three elements that I think will help you learn anything:
  • To give importance to the topic by learning, without exaggerating or minimizing.
  • To be very humble, patient and determined since many of today's learning topics are updates of what you already know or not all methodologies give results in the time you expect.
  • Practice a lot what you learned.

                                                                                                                                  
Let's look at the following scenario: you want to learn a new language.
  • What will you learn it for? This question will open the perspective of importance, because if there is not really a strong or necessary reason, it will be difficult for you to separate the time and energy to learn. Another question you can ask is: Really, how long can you live well without knowing this?
  • Second, be open to what they will teach you. In this case, it is fundamental that the apprentice gives his teacher time, because not all methodologies come out teaching you what you want immediately. If you want to confirm the validity of the methodology, talk to other students or people you know who are similar to you and reconfirm.
  • Finally, find ways to practice. You can even go somewhere to volunteer and teach children this language you are learning. To teach always helps to strengthen what has been learned.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Patience, an underrated key for success

Very few stories show how patience is important in reaching aims.

In Chris Gardner’s story, shown in the movie The Pursuitof Happyness, however, patience is shown as a very strong quality that pushed the man onto his limits, until he was able to break it and come out of a very tough situation.

Maybe people think of patience as a person who waits in a queue, with no hurry and no ambitions in life, instead of a very troubled man who did not even have a proper place to live whilst struggling to take care of his son.

But that is patience: a quality or virtue that allows us to wait for results, giving us the needed energy to live, or survive, until they come. And for a patient person, one day those results come…


So, check your patience as your ability of having a goal, investing in that goal and waiting to reach for it.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Your generosity is required at your work

According to reports and observations, sometime ago, life and work were completely separated… Every Monday, you would give up on your life until Friday when you would resuscitate. Of course, along the years, people had glimpses of life during the evenings, but still it was not enough…

A few decades back, someone had the strange idea that work is part of life. Even without proper confirmation, people started to assimilate that concept by changing the rules of work and being be more humane there.

Even crazier, someone talked about values and love AT THE WORKPLACE CONTEXT. Absurd, right?

Anyway, nowadays it is considered by many that work is part of life and so, there is no real separation between both. That means all that love and dedication you have your family, or all that fun and sharing you have with your friends, you should also have something similar for your job, enterprise or work project.

It is a change of attitude that is not yet registered in our general culture (take Dilbert for instance). But it is growing and dominating the general landscape of society.

A good worker, a good employer or an excellent entrepreneur is valued not only for his or her achievements, but also on how they behave in relation to the whole community. It is expected some volunteering work or donation, some care about animals or plants, or at least a different behavior, with more values there.

A few years ago, while working at a company with a team, our leader started to have some headache. With no questioning, the rest of us took over her duties and responsibilities and we all insisted she should leave and go home, since she had an operation just a few weeks ago. That was just one case among many I have been seen.

There is a logical background that favors the company: by showing mercy on an employee, the rest of us felt motivated to work even harder, with the certainty something similar would happen to us if we were the ones to get sick.

But, beyond logic, by integrating work with life we opened a door for deeper reflections on human behavior and communities in general. Qualities as generosity, solidarity or patience are now important at places we normally don’t associate with those values.

Yes, being a good person is not enough to get a job or to keep one, but being a bad person is enough to lose one.


So, think about that, reflect on the invisible power of being generous, showing solidarity or expressing patience with another co-worker, customer or provider. It is important for your own career and the community where you live. And work, of course…

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Do you have patience?

In a very fast-paced world, some virtues are not so cool and patience is one of them for it is connected to slow-moving men and women, weak individuals or very old people.

In fact, patience is connected to the reality of the world. If it is not for patience, your parents would not have expected you to be born – after all, NINE MONTHS!! So many things you can do during that time!!!!

For example, food and maturity come from a season and it is hard to be sped them up. When humans mix science with nature, results are not pleasant to everyone and there is a big wave in the world trying to revert that we did to our own food; same thing applies to maturity, which has its process and it is different to each person.

My observation is that patience is not the problem. The real challenge is how to discern between having patience and being slow. It is not that simple… Let’s take the example of a career.

On one hand, patience will help you to develop it in a pace that won’t stress you out but it will guarantee a good result at the end of the road. You will be focused on learning more than having immediate success as you know achievements will come along the way.

However you cannot just wait for things to happen. You will be pushed, threatened, taunted and even blackmailed by your bosses, co-workers, spouses and relatives to go for it! After all, your youth won’t last forever and maybe is already fading away…

Patience is good, it helps with health and it helps you to reach those goals you want to get, but it is not enough. No virtue or value is enough, they all need a partner. In the case of patience, its partner is perseverance that will help you to not accommodate to the situation but break reality and start your own change process.

OK, if you leave patience aside, you will be hurt as you will succumb to others’ and yours own desires, instead of waiting for the right season when fruit will be ripe. But if you don’t engage patience with perseverance you will live a very dull and boring life, and it is quite possible many of the things you are expecting won’t happen. After all, it is not only sowing seeds, you have to water and take care of whatever you have sown too.

Just perseverance without patience… Well, your life will be a big adventure, but you will probably miss some opportunities to just relax and flow with the flow.


At the end of this wonderful journey we all live, the most important thing will be the sense of balance. Life is all about balance… So, go and start it right now. Patiently…

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Time management in unmanageable times

When I was just starting to work on IT, trying to understand computers and users, my job was pretty boring... So, I got distracted with some booklets I found scattered around. They came from a Time Management course my boss took and two things stroke me: first, the interesting ideas and, second, how my boss just ignored them...

Time management is a wonderful tool and an incredible theory, but its use in the practical life, a VERY BUSY practical life, is not so easy for it demands discipline and focus.

Besides, some of the champions in Time Management consider their success based on their ability in managing their time and not in its results. Life, especially corporate and business life, is not happy with a manager, a coach or a CEO who is able to manage his or her time very well... Others would want to see an outcome for that.

Results are quite hard to be experienced and one of the reasons is the unmanageable times you are living. We are living a very particular period of our history, a time that Peter Drücker, a consultants' prophet, has foreseen: a time we are not sure what is going on and we are less sure what will happen in the future.

We can go and make changes in our way of managing times (as I am doing this year), but still we cannot catch up with reality as it was probably more possible twenty years ago.

What to do then? Just flow and let it be? Or maybe creating even another tool to help you managing your time? I would like to explore that…

Let's talk about consciousness. Since I have seen those booklets, I have started my own way of managing time, which helped me to create a basis for courses and seminars I give. My main focus, however is not the method as it is, but the awareness of time the person has to develop.

As humans, we have created a very complex way of considering time. Although we can understand easily concepts as VERY SOON or LATE, we are ruled by a psychological sense of time rather than a real one. For instance, if you enjoy a two-days holiday somewhere, a place where you are happy and everything works fine, you will feel the time is very SHORT, even though it is the same time as when you had to work and finish your company accounts, which probably looked as very LONG.

The trick in Time Management is to reconcile your own perception of time with others' perception and the real clock-time. That means you need to do three things:
  • Strength your own leadership. The only way to do something as mentioned before and survive in the process is when you are a leader. Although there are many concepts of leadership, three things are important in relation to Time Management, and you can cultivate them: your self-control, your own sense of being an example and a clear picture of your vision of the present and future for both, yourself and the organization you are leading.
  • Value your own values. Rushing around or procrastinating do not only affect your health and others' patience, it may also affect your values. For a check-up on your values and, in relation to Time Management, check these three values to see if they are being put into action or just serving as a decoration for your speeches: patience will help you when others are not committed enough, perseverance will help you to educate others and try again, and introspection (or calmness)will help you to check your own commitment and make the needed changes.
  • Use real methods. Ah, that is a must!! You can take as many courses of Time Management (want my cell phone number?) or attend to a thousand seminars, and yet, all of it may be is inapplicable to your reality. Ask three questions and make the necessary improvements: is what I am doing aligned with my needs? Are we, other people around me and i, really experiencing benefit by using these methods? Is there any way i can manage time better?



Well... time is up!! Get up and start to apply your own consciousness into your time.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Time and success

Recently, a few lists have emerged of young people who got to be successful. By reading it, I just wondered how many are really prepared...

First of all, most of the successful people were such due to some financial attainments. Success is however a feature where harmony, happiness and peace, among other qualities, are experienced in a constant way; what about their state of mind or their family relationships? That was not taken in account.

In reality, success needs time to come to our lives, just like a fruit from a tree. In Hindi, the words have something to do with each other: success is safalta, and fruit is fal...

Yes, to reach that point of success - total, global, true success - you do need to seed right seeds. You also need to take care of the soil, sun and water, and lots of patience because even when the fruit is emerging, you still need that fruit to reach maturity. If the tree is fruitful, not only one fruit will emerge and many other people can benefit from it. Then, you sow it again...

That success as soon as you start to experience becomes an unending cycle and that is another sign of success: you don't experience it once. Maybe you can have your "peaks and valleys", but when you reach the real success your life turns into an ascending line.

How to do it? How to reach to that point of success when you feel you are on eternal holydays and yet, producing in an effective way? A few tips:

  • Understand the real meaning of success. This will help you to identify it.
  • Whenever you go through a "peak", that is, you feel success in some task or activity; reinvest that energy into your life. For instance, if you get a promotion in your work, use that money for more training instead of buying that new cellular phone you want, and share your experience with other people so that 
  • Whenever you go through a "valley", that is, you fail in something, use that as a step towards success. For instance, check what happened and train yourself so you don't repeat the failure.
  • Be honest with yourself and don't let yourself to be deceived by limited successful events.
  • Meditation is very useful. It will help you to develop honesty, patience and perseverance, without which you cannot reach success.
  • Value your time by making it worthwhile.
  • Balance your life and especially provide yourself some reflection time.


I wish you an excellent journey on your way towards success.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Negotiation skills when dealing with situations

Situations come up from time to time in our lives. As someone said once, the world is like the ocean and you can't control the waves...

Some situations are easier than others; some last longer than others, and some can even take you into desperation. But, at least in some cultures, there is nothing worse than crisis somewhat provoked by other people.

Yes, it is awful to lose your job or be in danger of losing that house you would love to live in, but what about when your wife is critically ill or your boss is preventing you to make the deal of your life?

There is a whole school in management for negotiation, which can help you to deal with those situations where humans are a main factor. With those skills well developed you can negotiate some time off your job to take care of your wife properly, or perhaps invite some relatives to help caring of her.

But, I would like to focus in the skill of persuasion, which would be very useful for you in convincing your boss to help you with that big deal.

Persuasion can be understood differently according to intentions and even culture. Its interpretation can vary from charisma to manipulation, but its real meaning is probably located midway.

It is basically the ability of convincing people to do something they wouldn't otherwise do. It is so important that Warren Bennis used that same concept while defining a leader. For the skill to be developed, you need some training in:

  • Understanding situations deeply. Don't stay in the surface; merge into the depth of anything happening, understanding its roots, development and consequences.
  • Trying different perspectives. If you want someone to be convinced of something, you need to understand their point of view, with respect and without judgment.
  • Patience and perseverance. No negotiation can really happen without this wonderful couple of human qualities. Whilst patience will enable you to wait for the effect of your talk, perseverance will facilitate you to try different tactics.
  • Having a "win-win" mentality. Although I personally don't like that expression, as it reminds me of the possibility of win more than another person, it is extremely useful in negotiation, especially at the time of persuading others. The idea is to have a focus in the profit you and the other people will receive by doing what they are doing.
  • Being flexible. Yes, at any negotiation you will have to compromise. There is no way out for that. The idea behind flexibility, talked in another post, is to understand the limits you can go without hurting the negotiation for either side.


Charisma can be understood as some kind of "exuberant persuasion". Although many so-called leaders use, especially politicians, it does not fulfill the former criteria completely. Same happens with manipulation and amazingly as it is, both usually lack the understanding of others' perspectives...

Some people are natural negotiators; others need to train and train harder. Whatever the case, it is a powerful skill and not that difficult to mature.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Patience with others

In the way many people ask others to be patient with them, it sounds as there is a right to be wrong, slow and inefficient. And that is not the case.

The classical example of patience is of a farmer, who sows seeds that will bear fruit many years later. The only way for him to be happy and content is to be patient. Patience is the certainty behind his actions and their fruit, which shall come at their own time.

But patience is not alone: the farmer must water the seeds, prevent plagues, check the land, etc. Until the fruit come, this man or woman will have lots to do!

The same happens to people. When you give information, that is a seed, and it will take some time to bear fruit. If you have given the right seeds, at the right time, no worries: they will learn.

Meanwhile, keep on sustaining these people. Keep them happy and keep them learn. Sometimes push, sometimes flow. They will change, they will learn.

So, you have to take in account the time for the fruit to bear. You have to take in account that people do need some time to assimilate new ideas, or reframed old ideas. Give them that time, and sustain them during this assimilation process. That is patience, a wonderful way to relate to others you need to teach or share something.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

The art of dealing with others (The 16 celestial arts)

One issue that is increasing in the world is that many reports on researches have been published about the increasing number of people living by themselves even in countries with a more family, group or team-driven mentality, like Colombia and India.

And it is not only a question of living: how many one-passenger cars do you see every day? How many people chose to work by themselves, or are seen jogging or enjoying life alone?

This affects economy and society in ways that we are just starting to understand. In fact, there is nothing bad about being alone, but what is the reason? Is it a choice out of reflection or it is the result of not being able to cope with others?

If the second question is more realistic, then it is necessary to develop the skill of dealing with other people. We are social people - at some point or another, we will need each other, perhaps sooner than later.

As it is a skill, or an art, we can learn that. We can learn that wonderful art our ancestors had to learn when they had to live and work with people who were not family, part of their own race or religion. We can learn the necessary art of accepting and appreciating each other as we are.

It does not mean that everyone has to be friend to each other. With some people definitely your relationship will be casual, only a small connection. But it has to come from a personal choice rather of incapacity to deal with others.

Here are some points to bear in mind whilst developing this skill:

  • Be patient. Whatever you do to help relationship with another person will bear fruit in time. But not necessarily right now. Just don't lose hope, don't stop watering the seeds of good deeds, wishes or words.
  • Look for the common ground. We can always find something we have in common with other people. That is the beginning of the bridge between you and others.
  • Less social network, more social presence. At least understand that people, real people, are crucial for our own growth as humans. And go for it, talk to them, meet them and enjoy their way of being.
  • Enjoy the opposites. Contrary to nature, we always to try and look for similar people. Try to talk to someone who like what you dislike; just enjoy a refreshing point of view, something you never thought before. Enjoy it, instead of raging about it.
  • Discriminate. In the good sense, learn who can be your friends and who can't be that. If someone can't be your friend but you have to live with them, reflect on it - ask "why?". If someone is not your friend, but you have to work with them, make agreements and develop the skill of dialogue.


If you do that, you will realize the greatness other people have. And you will end enjoying dealing with others.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

The skills of the self

An old book talked about the sixteen celestial arts, a series of skills the self needs to be happy in life. It included things like the art of developing, friendship, thinking and even the art of remaining happy and content.

Not, it is obvious nobody will put this into his or her curriculum... And no sensible company would hire someone because she masters the art of "concealing and revealing" or he is an expert in the art of "refreshing".

However, when people are working in a day-to-day basis, these arts turn to be the key for a person who wants to grow in the company because even though companies value techniques, knowledge and skills, the skills of the self are the ones which will help you to move forward. Even though you are in a company, you're still human.

The skills of the self are those virtues, values or qualities in general, plus those abilities that allow people to live with people, enabling them to overcome obstacles and to face the challenges that come on their way with victory.

Although some would have that naturally, developing those skills are not that different than any other skill. You will need for that:

  • Knowledge. You really need to understand what patience means to develop it. Study and research are key.
  • Attitude. A skill is nothing without a proper attitude to back it up. If you, for instance, want to develop patience, you need an attitude of understanding, perspective and maturity.
  • Practice. A big part of any skill to be developed is to rehearse it. When you think of patience, you probably acknowledge there are situations which are easier for you to be patient with, and other situations that are much more difficult; practicing means trying first with those situations that are easy for you and then, gradually, trying the more difficult ones.


Even though you won't be able to mention these skills to your future client, I tell you one thing: many times, that is the real reason they are hiring you.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

When science fails


Nowadays you can have all you want, and talk to anyone you want. However, the big tendency nowadays is to live alone. Also, you have medicine in its state of art. And never before we had that many sicknesses.

Somehow, humans have tried to replace whatever they lack with science and its children, like technology. But it is not working. Yes, it gives you a temporary feeling that you are getting what you want, but then, after a while, you realise you still don't have it. And you cannot get anything only using science.

You can talk to people using science, but you cannot communicate with them only relying on science. You need to trust them too, you need patience, perseverance and a bunch of other values which will enable you to really forge a relationship.

You can use medicine - by the way, you should! - but you won't be healthier because of that. Real health starts from lifestyle, from the way you think and see the world, and your own relationship with your body and other people's bodies.

Science is good, and I use lots of it in my day-to-day life. But I am aware it can't replace reality. Reality is still outside this blog, this connection and this computer.


As an author, I like to provide new perspective.