A life-long learning process

To have a dynamic life, full of energy and meaning, it is important to understand that this is the greatest university!

Every day, every moment, at every interaction or chance to contemplate, you and I are learning. There is no ending for that.

So, I would like to suggest you two things.

First, always be OPEN TO LEARN. This requires humility and self-esteem, kindness and courage, and most importantly, the deep desire to progress.

Second, always be OPEN TO SHARE. You will need to feel the pulse of the person with whom you are sharing, teaching, coaching or mentoring. You will have to go beyond knowledge and trust your own wisdom. And share with generosity, openness, mercy and love.

We are sharing the same classroom, let’s make the best of it.

 

A map to understand cause & effect

In terms of solving problems and personal change, there is a special element that was forgotten, at least by me: cause & effect.

If there is a sickness, by understanding its symptoms (effect) as connected to a cause, it is easier to heal; if anyone only focus on the symptoms, trying to fix that, it is possible the cause remain intact and later on, symptoms will come back. It is a principle that medicine follows, and so other areas of our human complex society: if I am hurt by someone (effect), by finding the cause (something I said) I may fix it; if you are not going well in terms of business (effect), by finding the cause (bad marketing skills), it is possible to solve the problem, and many other examples.

However, in life things are not so simple. One thing is the ONE CAUSE – ONE EFFECT, but what about if there are many CAUSES and one effect? Or worse, when causes and effects are not easy to track…

So, here is a small map of a sort and I hope it helps you to deal with different situations in which you can identify causes and effects.

• One cause, one effect. It is the easiest one, but the trap lies in trying to fix the effect and leaving the cause alone. Go for the cause, the effect will fade away.
• One cause, several effects. If you see situations come to your life and you can track them to one common cause, again go for the cause, but because there are many effects, work on them too; it will make life easier.
• Several causes, one effect. Yes, it is possible that one single effect has different sources, which means it will take time to solve it. Solution would be the same as before, but my personal suggestion is… forget the causes! Just focus on the effects and, at your own pace, deal with a few causes that come on your way.
• Several causes, several effects… or not! This is the highest level of complexity and causes & effects model won’t work on this case. Focus on your objectives in life, check about your specialties and make a plan to move forward.

Hope this map works for you!

When coaching can’t work a miracle

I’ve started to study about coaching many years ago, but my first real experience to coaching was as an unwillingly coachee and the coach in this case just attacked me, by firing a series of questions. Of course, one of a coach’s skills is to confront the coachee, but I am sure that was coming from a very dark place as she just wanted me to change and I am sorry if I could not change in less than half an hour.

Maybe that is why I’ve taken time to embrace my role as a coach, because I do believe in it and my coachees have had very good experiences, but I don’t believe in miracles as my first unintended coach wanted. Unfortunately, many people advertise coaching as a way of doing miracles.

Coaching technique is fascinating and it really works, but we have to bear in mind any change is limited by three main actors: the coach, the coachee and life.

The coach must provide the best of themselves, making the effort to help the coachee to find new ways to attain whatever is not possible at present. Skills are important, but more than that is the will from the coach to benefit the other person and the energy she or he contributes to the process.

A coachee is not a passive actor and they require committing themselves with the task at hand: a personal change. Even though the coachee allows the coach to direct the process, they should be aware all the time and not fall into the trap of what the coach wants for me.

But life will play a valuable part here, by providing or not resources for the impossible to become possible. And there are times when even though both worked hardly and efficiently, things won’t work well… If that happens, both actors should remind themselves to find success in the failure in the form of a lesson or something intangible attained during that process, such as patience, and move on.

So, no miracles, but coaching is a very clever way to get changes taking place.

Step 1…

We are just starting to live a new year, so this is a time for a transition.

That means you are probably so busy celebrating (with mask and all) that you are not thinking much about the remaining 362 days or so, and yet this is the right time to start thinking of it.

Consider these first days as the first step to have a MUCH BETTER year and here are three suggestions, which are stages of this first step:

• To let go – the first part of this step is to let go not only the bad things, but even the good things. You need space to generate a new experience, and to start from a blank mental whiteboard is the best option.
• Trust yourself – this is the part in which you design the New Year and you have a style that is completely different than mine, your spouse’s, children’s, neighbors’, mother-in-law’s and anybody… Let your ideas flow by brainstorming, using creative methods like journaling or just sitting down and reflecting. The basis of this stage is to trust your inner voice and maybe you want to use this powerful question: What are the ways to be successful this year?
• Perseverance & patience – you will need this couple of virtues this year. On one hand, perseverance will help you to put all those beautiful ideas into reality. On the other hand, patience will help you to trust yourself and wait…

 

In the next posts, I will get into each of these stages, but you probably would like to start something. Good luck!

A session of coaching, just for you – part II

This has been a very interesting year and so, this session of coaching, distributed in two different posts, has an aim of helping you find meaning in the past year. This is the second part.

 

First of all, look for a place where you feel secure, safe. Along with that, do this at a time when you are not needed by others.

Please, don’t look at this as just a series of questions or tasks. Take them step by step, and take your time…

Take paper and pen, or pencil. If you want you can take a watch to keep time, but try not. And yes, be unplugged for the time of the exercise.

Let’s begin…

 

Session 3: if we think of 2020 as a school…

What were the best lessons you have learnt?

• How would they be useful for you for the next year?

What were the most difficult lesson to learn and why?

• How could you improve your capacity of learning, so lessons like those can be assimilated?

 

Session 4: if we think of 2020 as a training course…

What was the best thing that happened to you?

• In the future, what will be the use of that as a lesson?

What were the lessons you feel you haven’t learnt well?

• How can you give yourself another chance to learn them?

A session of coaching, just for you – part I

This has been a very interesting year and so, this session of coaching, distributed in two different posts, has an aim of helping you find meaning in the past year.

 

First of all, look for a place where you feel secure, safe. Along with that, do this at a time when you are not needed by others.

Please, don’t look at this as just a series of questions or tasks. Take them step by step, and take your time…

Take paper and pen, or pencil. If you want you can take a watch to keep time, but try not. And yes, be unplugged for the time of the exercise.

Let’s begin…

 

Session 1: it is better if you do all of this first, in order and during a certain time limit.

How do you feel in relation to this year? Write as much as possible.

Which things, scenes of your life or aspects of your environment you would prefer they would be rather different?

How much was your life impacted by all that happened this year?

Now, think you are being interviewed in 2025 about the year 2020. Indicate a few things you would tell your audience.

 

Session 2: do this after the first session; as you can see, there are two main questions, you can change the order if you want.

During this year you or another person has made an error that impacted your life. Which error was it?

By correcting that error, what would happen to the rest of your year?

By not correcting that error, what did REALLY happen (to the rest of your year)?

Something right happened that touched your heart or created a positive impact in your life; it may be the right thing you or another person did. Which right thing was it?

What was the impact of that right thing in the rest of your year?

If that right thing hasn’t happened, what would happen to the rest of your year?

 

Next week we will continue…

The art of teaching others

If you are a teacher of some kind, you probably agree that teaching is complicated and at the same time it is a wonderful call, a real art. It challenges and it gives a beautiful return too. As a proof there are so many books, movies (To Sir, with Love[1] anyone?) and TV series showing that noble profession in its best form.

However, when you are not their teacher and yet you need to teach them, things are different, whether you are a neighbor of someone who loves cats too much or you are the boss who wants to emphasize the value of a certain report to a rebellious employee.

In this case, wisdom will be the source instead of knowledge and there are a few things you can work to explain to other people when you are not their formal educator:

• Being the example. Particularly if you are in a long-term relationship, example is the best tool and it teaches with a few words. Just make sure your pupil is paying attention!
• Reflect about what you want to talk. It is fundamental to take some time by understanding what the lesson is, just like a good teacher who prepares their class.
• Look for the best tactic to talk to someone. Yes, you have a clear message, but how to impart it? There are several ways or methods, many different methodologies that can help you to do that…
• A dialogue. …but by opening a room for this person to enter and talk with you, you will see the lesson will be easier. The best way to teach someone, with the exception of a technical subject, is to let them to learn by themselves. That is…
• Be their coach! A wonderful alternative is to help them by using coaching techniques. There is a simple one which is asking open questions, questions with no YES/NO answer.

A final point: your attitude is the key for teaching other people. A problem with a few teachers is to think of students as ignorant people; if you do that with people who are not students (and, by the way, with students too), your lesson won’t reach them.

Wise people would never treat others as stupid, but they will see them as very intelligent capable people who want to learn something different, something they know.

---

[1] To Sir with Love is a 1967 movie that shows the teaching profession in its brillance.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Sir,_with_Love

Keep thinking…

By thinking we understand the world outside and we are able to take decisions based on our perception.

However, as our life develops, thoughts repeat and old experiences restrict our capacity of embracing the unknown. There may be a point when routine has taken over…

Routine is good, it works as a pipe that enables the water to reach the whole house; it channels our energy and makes life easier. Without a routine, a person would be like a hose connected to water, but with nobody holding on… lots of water, but no clear focus.

To prevent that, it is important to dare, to challenge assumptions and to experiment. It does not mean to refuse reality or go against things for the sake of it, just reshape reality.

The alarm goes off anytime we feel we are taking the same decisions as before without a proper reflection, anytime we feel routine seeping into our minds and our lives look less bright than the day before.

To help with that, let’s ask powerful questions that shake our beliefs, meditate or contemplate. Let’s allow the mind access to a new fresh source of possibilities every time.

Time management in unmanageable times

When I was just starting to work on IT, trying to understand computers and users, my job was pretty boring... So, I got distracted with some booklets I found scattered around. They came from a Time Management course my boss took and two things stroke me: first, the interesting ideas and, second, how my boss just ignored them...

Time management is a wonderful tool and an incredible theory, but its use in the practical life, a VERY BUSY practical life, is not so easy for it demands discipline and focus.

Besides, some of the champions in Time Management consider their success based on their ability in managing their time and not in its results. Life, especially corporate and business life, is not happy with a manager, a coach or a CEO who is able to manage his or her time very well... Others would want to see an outcome for that.

Results are quite hard to be experienced and one of the reasons is the unmanageable times you are living. We are living a very particular period of our history, a time that Peter Drücker, a consultants' prophet, has foreseen: a time we are not sure what is going on and we are less sure what will happen in the future.

We can go and make changes in our way of managing times (as I am doing this year), but still we cannot catch up with reality as it was probably more possible twenty years ago.

What to do then? Just flow and let it be? Or maybe creating even another tool to help you managing your time? I would like to explore that…

Let's talk about consciousness. Since I have seen those booklets, I have started my own way of managing time, which helped me to create a basis for courses and seminars I give. My main focus, however is not the method as it is, but the awareness of time the person has to develop.

As humans, we have created a very complex way of considering time. Although we can understand easily concepts as VERY SOON or LATE, we are ruled by a psychological sense of time rather than a real one. For instance, if you enjoy a two-days holiday somewhere, a place where you are happy and everything works fine, you will feel the time is very SHORT, even though it is the same time as when you had to work and finish your company accounts, which probably looked as very LONG.

The trick in Time Management is to reconcile your own perception of time with others' perception and the real clock-time. That means you need to do three things:

• Strength your own leadership. The only way to do something as mentioned before and survive in the process is when you are a leader. Although there are many concepts of leadership, three things are important in relation to Time Management, and you can cultivate them: your self-control, your own sense of being an example and a clear picture of your vision of the present and future for both, yourself and the organization you are leading.
• Value your own values. Rushing around or procrastinating do not only affect your health and others' patience, it may also affect your values. For a check-up on your values and, in relation to Time Management, check these three values to see if they are being put into action or just serving as a decoration for your speeches: patience will help you when others are not committed enough, perseverance will help you to educate others and try again, and introspection (or calmness)will help you to check your own commitment and make the needed changes.
• Use real methods. Ah, that is a must!! You can take as many courses of Time Management (want my cell phone number?) or attend to a thousand seminars, and yet, all of it may be is inapplicable to your reality. Ask three questions and make the necessary improvements: is what I am doing aligned with my needs? Are we, other people around me and i, really experiencing benefit by using these methods? Is there any way i can manage time better?

Well... time is up!! Get up and start to apply your own consciousness into your time.

In the morning, what do you think?

Some people say your first meal will define the strength for the day. Could you say the same about the first thoughts we have?

The day is full of opportunities and threats, of hopes and expectations, beautiful roses and huge thorns. Are you going out there dressed as casual as possible, or like a warrior waiting for the next battle?

Your first thoughts will direct your energy towards the day. With some techniques, you can even change a threat into an opportunity. If you meditate before coming out your place, you can experience the energy you need to fulfill your hopes and enjoy the challenge presented by expectations. Those thoughts can prepare you to admire the roses and understand the thorns around.

If you are interested in improving that part of your life, I have a few tips that can be useful and I have good wishes for you that your life will be always a source of contentment.
1. Sleep well. Very well.
2. But, before sleeping, read, watch or listen to something positive. So, if you just saw your favorite episode with pieces of bodies everywhere, then it is important to disconnect and connect to a positive reality, something that encourages you.
3. When you just wake, sit and have a few thoughts in silence, prayer, meditation, contemplation or reflection.
4. After that, enjoy the next hour or so doing positive and constructive things. Read something spiritual, a bit of yoga or joggling can be very good options.
5. During the day, connect whatever is going on with those first moments of your life.

Hey, you are on stage!

Many years ago, a famous Brazilian actress stumbled upon a rug during a play. Without losing her style, she looked at her uncle, performed by another famous actor, and said: Uncle, I have told you many times to be careful about this rug!

It was an improvised and brilliant moment. For us, who are also actors on this world stage as Shakespeare used to say, many times the rug is not where it was supposed to be. But, different than that actress, we often react badly to unexpected challenges.

This awareness can be helpful, that we are all actors and we are on stage, all the time. That will make us take every step with care, love, compassion and energy.

Whether we are with our family or in our workplace, we will be conscious that any thing we say will be recorded by their powerful minds and memories, and that will shape their relationship with us. Any error we do will be seen, heard and felt.

Hummm... Ok, that can take you to a very paranoid stage of mind. It requires some balance by using your private moments in a very worthwhile way. Even when you are just having fun, remind yourself that will help you to make better decisions or it will strengthen the bond within your family. A hero is always a hero, but relaxing, enjoying and being yourself is extremely important.

So, check your lines for today. These are some questions that can help you:

• How prepared am I to face this situation? Which kind of training, coaching or resources do I need for that?
• What will be my attitude when I meet a person? How do I want to express my feelings and needs to them?
• If anything happens outside my schedule, something I am not prepared for, how will I deal with it? If I realize I couldn't deal, what should I do, during and after the situation?
• How do I want to feel at the end of this day? How to reach to that point?

Ready for an Oscar award from life? It is waiting for you...

How to be a coach for yourself and others

After their victories, many athletes thank their coaches for their success. Why is that?

It is clear the athlete has won, not the coach. It is clear the talent, intelligence or capacity belonged to the athlete who won, not the coach. Why to thank him or her?

Everyone has potentials, but many times it is not properly developed. We got stuck into so many things that we just let our potential to be dormant whilst we are doing our own business. The coach's task is to help an individual to live that potential fully and to show that to the world.

For that, the coach would use many different techniques and skills. There will be an intense training and constant corrections, besides lots of celebrations every time that potential shows itself in a practical form. Without a coach, an athlete as good as they are, will be just another athlete, just another person.

Be your own coach and also help others using that attitude.

• You yourself must have some things clear, like the potential of someone, you or another person, and their dreams. As a coach, your success is your coachee's success.
• When there is a challenge, focus on the potential. The reality is there, you don't need to think of it or make others think of it. Just focus on the possibility of overcoming the challenge.
• Create a routine for training. Don't make excuses, don't accept excuses. Help in such a way the training happens naturally.
• When there is a drawback, talk. Dialogue helps things to be clear and the inner barriers to be removed.
• Never lose hope, never get disappointed. No matter what, potentials go back to their original state, that is, they go back to sleep. When things get bad, just go back to training and dialogue.
• A success has to be celebrated. Celebration helps to make the potential part of the individual, a feature or skill that will be easier to use when time comes.

Branding, ¿to be o not to be?

When I took the decision to leave a successful career at the moment in IT and brave myself in a world I used to call in a generic way as "consulting", I had many ideas and dreams.

One thing I used to think was that I could do whatever I wanted and what I was offering were not "products" or "tools", but a serious work to help people to change and to become better human beings. In my mind, by taking the decision of career change, it was clear for me that if someone is a better human being, he/she will be a better boss, employee, mother or father.

Years passed by and life made me change many of my ideas and dreams. For finantial reasons, I started to work in a different way, and I have learnt to use words like "tools" too. After all, a few organisations in the world invest in making people "better human beings".

Even though, with all the effort to adapt myself, I saw my own work fading away before my eyes. No illusions here, I know physicially there are also reasons, mainly that I am pretty bad in marketing. Yes, I don't know how to "sell myself", another idea I did not want to use. All my professional projects emerge as something almost magic, divine and it seems God finds me a grown up now, so that I can get things by myself.

However, during the adaptation process, I've noticed that each time I had to work in something that was pushed into me and it didn't please me, ideas which were not mine, I have learnt. Yes, I've learnt many things, even to remove the quotation marks from tools and live with them, fearlessly.

I have learnt I can keep my dream to help people to improve and at the same time, give them practical things for their day-to-day lives.

I have learnt if I want to reach thousands of people, I must change my perspective, without changing the original dream.

It has been a long learning! Probably the longest MBA course and the most expensive one, with many ups and downs and threatens to my self-esteem. But I feel, inside, now I am getting into another course for I am not going to stop to learn. I feel my former course certificate is about to arrive, at any moment.

A friend of mine suggested me to "make my branding", so that I could understand what I can really offer which is unique in the market. I feel that by doing this "branding" process, this helped me a lot to resume my dreams into the reality I live, even to make other dreams to emerge.

So that I take advantage of this space to introduce a bit of what I will do from now on.

Yes, definitely I am in another course... I look forward to count with you in this new stage of my life, and count with me in this new stage of your life.

A big hug, from my heart.

My branding:

I exist  to enable the best from you to make History.

As a person, I deliver

• CREATIVITY
• SPIRITUALITY
• TRUST
• CONFIDENTIALITY
• DEDICATION
• PERSEVERANCE
• CONTINUOUS LEARNING

As a professional, I make use of

• COACHING

• It is fundamental for me to help you to find out the magic you have within yourself, in your team and your organisation.

• CONSULTING

• With a different perspective, I help your organisation to set itself in the globalisation process, increase effectiveness by having more committed individuals and to become a leading edge school for leaders who are able to solve and face modern challenges.

• AUTHOR

• Through text and images, I want to share my experiences and transmit learning, so that these can be used by individuals and organizations during their transformation process.