Keeping calm…

During the Second World War, a slogan was launched that helped citizens to move on with their lives, despite the hostilities: KEEP CALM and CARRY ON. It comprises two affirmations with different intentions and an incredible effect.

At times of crisis – and that is what we are living – that slogan would be probably very useful, after all calmness has a deep effect on the self by enabling the person to clear their minds and understand what is going on. Maybe a solution is not at hand, but with comprehension, the person can plan, adapt and live better.

Particularly if the crisis is very strong and it turns into chaos, it is possible there is no solution. During chaotic times, the only possibility someone has is to be their own leader, to trust their own capacities and to create a team with whoever is around. Again, calmness plays a definite part, relieving much of the stress and anxiety, empowering. Besides, who wants to be part of a team of people who are not calm, particularly during turmoil?

But, as you are reading this, I am almost sure you are not there yet and the crisis we are all living is not to be labeled chaos. So, this is the training time and you can do a few things:

• Experience silence several times during the day.
• Meditate or contemplate.
• At the beginning of the day, dedicate some time for the self and experience deep calmness.
• At the end of the day, make sure you pack everything up, by putting a full stop to all that happened.
• If you have problems with someone, try and fix the bond between you.
• Be kind to yourself and others.
• Walk in the nature.
• Listen to soft positive music.
• Avoid bad news, without evading responsibility.
• Just be yourself and give space so that others can be themselves too.
• Keep calm, carry on.

Calming down… there is a storm coming

When storms come, we tend to be dragged by them. After all, they are more powerful than us… or not?

We have created as a civilization, several means and tools to protect ourselves from this incredible force of nature and although our protection may not be perfect, it has good potential.

Now, what about the storms of life? Like a pandemic, a financial crisis, divorce, health issues, someone dear who just departed…

By using the same approach, there should be means and tools to protect ourselves from the effect of such storms, and one of them is very simple: just calm down.

Calmness has a deep effect in the mind, by creating a series of thoughts and constructive emotions that protect us from the worse effects of the storms we are going through, which will guide us and prevent harm.

Of course, it is not easy to be calm during the storm, but by practicing a lot, the accumulated calmness will work out pretty well during the worse stages of the crisis, coming up naturally.

How can you practice calmness? I meditate; other people go to hills or beaches, others prefer to be in silence for some time everyday, there are those who love to pray.

Although the means and tools will be different for each one, by generating a routine in which the experience of being calm is valued, even prioritized, the next time a big storm comes to your life, you will be prepared and probably, you will be able to offer shelter to others too.

Unintended victims

Any crisis generates victims, not necessarily in the real sense, but it exists to put some of the structure you have created down.

Although the victim is often related to the crisis itself, however, some of those who suffered are not a direct part of it. Relatives, friends, coworkers and even neighbors also go through a rough path too; and yes, generated by you.

To be more accurate, it is generated by your way of dealing with the crisis. They are not direct victims and many times, they don’t have any idea why they are in that type of distress. Why does this happen?

Crisis makes the experience of many different emotions to emerge and it is quite normal that you enter in a kind of emotional hurricane. So it is possible you also pull others into the same turmoil.

On the other hand, there is the hero syndrome; many people act in such a way that the problems they are going through are nothing. They just dismiss them, but inside they are burning and eventually, they may explode. A common reason is that they don’t want to hurt others… and yet, they do, because by protecting them they may hurt themselves. Consequently, those who love them will get hurt when they realize it.

There are a few tips you may follow in such a way that you don’t hurt yourself and don’t hurt others during a crisis periods:

1. A recent post that is being shared around expressed that any crisis has 3 elements: an expiration date, a teaching and of course, always a solution. Although you may not know the ending date, you can start to reflect and find out about its teachings.
2. At the extent you focus on the solution instead of the problem that will help you to keep your emotions in a balanced state.
3. Don’t deny the problems and don’t fear to call them by their name. A part of you knows it and it will be a disregard for your own self to diminish the situation you are living.
4. Learn to talk about your problems with people who are empathic and who can contribute with practical solutions or give you some support.
5. Whenever you feel strong emotions coming, just take some time off from your present environment. Relax a bit, empower yourself maybe by meditating and then go back.
6. Don’t hide your feelings and emotions… Talk about them in a way that is both open and comfortable for you, and get as much help as you can.
7. If you let the door of emotions open and they come out with a destructive force, after it happens, check what took place and whether anybody was hurt. It is good to hold a dialogue with your dear ones after such an episode, and forgiveness may be part of it.
8. Meditate… Meditate particularly when the crisis is not affecting you so strongly. There is a state called Detached Observer; it is a valuable one and it may help you to find peace and calm amidst the adversities. That will impact others positively.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

The communication power: your smile and features

As a frequent customer for airlines, one thing I notice is how less and less my providers smile. And when they do, it is really not convincing...

I did not research or check statistics. It is more a feeling than anything. At some airlines, their employees are visibly tired and unhappy; others they seem to be upset you are travelling with them so they cannot have a nice time as they have to attend you.

Part of the power of communication comes from your features and a smile, a very genuine and sincere smile, is a fundamental part. Well, you cannot buy smiles nor do a Joker, but you can always learn how to smile more and more...

Smile comes from a deep sense of satisfaction. So, the easiest trick for an easy smile is that: be satisfied. Satisfaction comes from four sources:

• The self. First of all, you need to be happy with yourself, your efforts, your capacity and energy. Satisfaction is not a static thing; it does not mean that you don't improve because you are so satisfied with whatever you are. It means you are happy with your own self and from that happiness, you will pursue your own growth or transformation.
• Others (close). As everyone influences everyone, when others are satisfied with you and you are with them, the exchange of energy is wonderful. You will feel your life is a huge continuous party! The close ones, friends and close relatives, are the main people that influences in your own sense of satisfaction. If someone is not satisfied with you or you are not satisfied with them, it is time for reflection and to make a decision about it.
• Others (far, far away). There are other people you are not that close, or maybe you have been close in the past. Still, our sense of satisfaction relies on the feeling of being satisfied and if your airline pilot is not doing that or your local baker, then it is time to check on what to do about it. A part of the stress experienced in big cities comes from the interaction between people who are basically strangers.
• God or a Supreme Source of energy. Yes, God is present in our smiles too... Our relationship and its level with this Supreme Force will interfere in our personal sense of satisfaction. If you don't believe in God, it is still possible you believe in something; that point you believe, God or something else, means a lot for you and the way you feel satisfied with His or Her role in your life will help you to shape that smile in your face.

By increasing your sense of satisfaction, your smile will be easy and your features will be influenced by that, which will change the way you communicate. A smile express trust and confidence, joy and calm, so when you communicate with others, they will get that feeling from you.

Stress & Calm

I've been collecting studies, researches and opinions about the effect of stress at the workplace. It is amazing: people are not 100% sure about it.

In a very empiric way, it is obvious that a stressed person is less productive. However, there are also professions like firefighters or TV series directors seem to proof that theory is wrong and stress turns into their friend.

So, I can only talk about my own experience then...

My professional life started in a very ambiguous way and it is not something I am used to mention in my curriculum vitae. I started to work as an employee at the biggest bank at the time in Brazil. My shift went from 2 through 9 pm, and the stress was high. At that point, I didn't follow a meditation routine or even a spiritual life, and so I was suffering in my mind, body and emotions, going there, working like a donkey, going back to a very conflictive home and again next day all the same... Stress was very high; the main consequence was the mistakes I used to make, plus my co-worker-kind-of-boss' bad temper.

After a while, I retook my spiritual practice, and calmness took over me. Situations didn't change, on the contrary our responsibility was increasing (and my co-worker's bad temper too), but I felt much more relaxed and easy. Yes, at that point, I could not avoid the toll of the physical effort in my own body and I must admit I was often sick, but my mind at least was clear, which allowed me to change job and start a career.

My first benefit by embracing that calmness we all have inside was to strengthen my mind and in this way, to shield myself from the bad consequences coming from the environment. With stress, you are affected by all that is around you, physically, emotionally and mentally. Using meditation, at least I got to keep a strong mind and I start to help shaping the places I went to work.

It took me a few years to end the emotional and physical aspects of stress and reach a point today when I feel I am healthier than 20 years ago. And nowadays, besides meditation, my main medicine is silence and calmness.

We cannot avoid stress and its consequences without a proper moment or two when we focus ourselves in the self, in the moment and place where we are. With meditation and silence practices, gradually we can do it even though we are in the middle of very stressful situations.