The Art of Continuous Learning

 

There was a time when learning had an expiration date. Many of us remember counting the days until we were finally "out" of school, university or any other place where studying seemed endless. Graduation felt like the finish line, and after crossing it, we believed we had learned everything we needed.

For some, studying more was a family tradition. Others pursued degree after degree because it was fashionable or their profession demanded it. And, of course, many simply wanted better opportunities in life. Ironically, today we even find people who are highly educated struggling to find jobs that match their qualifications…

The world has changed dramatically. New technologies - and especially AI - are transforming the workplace at a speed few ever imagined; knowledge that was valuable only a few years ago can quickly become outdated. In this environment, continuous learning is no longer an advantage; it is becoming a necessity.

Yet the most valuable learning may not happen in a classroom.

Personal growth depends on curiosity, investigation, reflection and the willingness to discover new perspectives. It requires having a vision of the future while remaining open to change. Sometimes the most important lessons come from developing soft skills: learning to communicate better, manage emotions, think critically, build meaningful relationships or cultivate inner stability through practices such as meditation.

The greatest learners are not necessarily those with the most certificates hanging on the wall. They are the ones who never lose the desire to ask questions, explore new ideas, and become a better version of themselves.

Perhaps the real art of continuous learning is not collecting more information or even knowledge. It is remaining open to learn throughout life.

To learn, it is not that easy…

 

I remember when I was at school and Brazil was entering the "car age." Almost everyone was buying a car as they were relatively affordable, easy to drive, and even when you changed to a different model, learning to drive it wasn't a big challenge.

Today, we live in what could be called the learning age. The expectation seems similar: learning should be cheap and easy. Cheap... in many ways it is, at least for the average person. Although, if we look behind the scenes, the investment made by companies and governments is enormous. Perhaps one day those costs will come knocking at our door…

But the "easy" part? I'm not so sure.

Take one of the most common devices in our lives: the smartphone. Every model - even within the same brand - is different. Every time we replace one, we have to learn... again.

Or maybe we don't. That is probably the option most people choose. The changes in menus, layouts and features can be overwhelming, so we simply keep using the new phone as if it were the old one. We ignore most of what has changed because, for everyday life, what we already know is usually enough.

There is always a learning curve. It remains relatively gentle if we are happy staying within our comfort zone and using things as we always have.

But if we really want to take advantage of the new possibilities, the learning curve becomes much steeper.

And we are only talking about smartphones. The same is happening in medicine, education, technology, communication and almost every profession. Knowledge is expanding faster than our capacity to absorb it.

It is a paradox - a kind of K-Curve. Learning has never been more accessible, yet meaningful learning has rarely been more demanding.

So, what can we do?

• Understand the purpose of your learning. If you are buying a new phone, spend a little time discovering the features that will genuinely improve your daily life. Perhaps it has an excellent speech-to-text function or a tool that saves you hours every week. Learn what serves you, not everything it can do.
• Focus on what you really need to know. When you have to learn anything, compare different ways of doing it and choose the simplest, fastest and most practical path.
• Learn with discernment. A great course or an inspiring lecture can transform the way we think - and as a business consultant, I strongly believe in lifelong learning. Still, before committing your time, ask yourself three questions:
• Will this change the way I think about or approach my work?
• Will it give me practical tools to improve?
• Am I truly going to use what I learn?
• The first two questions help you evaluate the quality of the learning. The third helps you evaluate its usefulness. If the answer to that last question is a clear "no," perhaps this is not the right time.
• Finally, remember that you do not need to learn everything. Even doctors do not master every disease or treatment before they begin practicing; they continue learning by applying knowledge in real situations. The same is true for almost every field: you need a specific feature on your phone, you can learn it then; you want to build better relationships, you can work on them with the help of a coach. Knowledge grows through use, not merely through accumulation.

Perhaps the greatest skill of our time is not learning more, but learning better. In a world overflowing with information and knowledge, wisdom lies in choosing what deserves our attention, what deserves our time and what deserves a place in our lives.

Are challenges a curse?

 

I have faced so many challenges in my life that I could write a book about them… Of course, that would be yet another challenge for me.

Challenges have a strange dual nature: they can be the worst thing that happens to us - or the best.

At their worst, they drain our energy. They interrupt our plans. They reduce our sense of success. They whisper quietly that maybe we are not capable enough. If we label them as a curse, they become heavy and once something feels heavy for long enough, it begins to dishearten us.

But here is the uncomfortable truth: the challenge exists. Whether we complain or deny it, it remains there.

At their best, however, challenges are like test papers. Not punishments - evaluations. They reveal where we are strong and where we are fragile. They stretch our patience. They expand our capacity. They force us to use muscles we didn’t even know we had.

The same event can either shrink us or shape us and the difference is not the challenge.

It is the meaning we give to it.

If we think challenges are curses, we will slowly lose hope. If we see them as training, we begin to access something deeper - resilience, inner power, creativity, courage.

Perhaps challenges are not against us, but you are the one who can answer this:

Are challenges a curse?

Overcoming very strange obstacles

 

We all know how to overcome obstacles. The usual kind? No problem.

But nowadays, we’re facing a new wave of very strange obstacles.

Let me explain with an example: a typical obstacle might be not having a job. A stranger obstacle could be having a job you don’t enjoy or one you lack the skills for.
And a very strange obstacle? Having a job you dislike and feeling like you have to pretend you love it - just to meet the expectations of your family or community.

For common obstacles, there are well-known steps: look for a job, talk to friends, take courses, learn new skills and so on.

But with these stranger ones… it gets more complicated.
Years ago, the advice was simple: "Don’t like your job? Just quit!"
"Missing skills? Go learn them!"
But today, things aren’t so straightforward. The job market is uncertain. The workplace is constantly shifting. And even if you learn a new skill, it might be outdated by the time you master it.

Maybe now is the time to learn how to love the job - not in a forced way, but by connecting with its purpose or seeing what it teaches you. From that sense of connection, perhaps a shift will come naturally, if that’s what’s truly best.

Maybe it’s time to focus not just on skills, but on assimilating knowledge. With real understanding, upgrading your skills becomes much easier and more organic.

And then we arrive at the very strange obstacles…
These often live in the emotional and mental layers of our challenges. In this case, the obstacle shows up in our relationships - in the struggle to be true to ourselves, especially when we are seen as role models by others.

The solution isn’t simple, but it is possible: we need to develop self-leadership.
That means gaining clarity about your future vision, your values, your purpose - and finding a balance between spirituality and practicality.
When you lead yourself, you can make decisions that might be unpopular but are right for you - like leaving a job. And you can help others understand that choice, turning it into a shared learning experience rather than a disruption.

To summarize:

• Overcoming a normal obstacle: follow the usual steps and ask for help when needed.
• Overcoming a strange obstacle: don’t rush into action. Reflect first.
• Overcoming a very strange obstacle: lead yourself with vision and integrity - and turn the challenge into growth for yourself and others.

Holistic Learning

Our learning is linear, that is, we learn one thing and then another, adding, sometimes subtracting what we have learned before and even changing it. It is linear as there is a clear sequence and it is quite easy to understand the reason that we learn to write a before writing and.

The challenge is to learn things in a linear fashion takes time and at present, a new phenomenon of constant learning is taking place, and for learning to be constant, it demands speed.

If you have a good memory, learning by heart make things easier, particularly when there is complexity. As there are too many things to be learnt, memorization is not the perfect solution.

There are two other ways to learn that may be better for the present moment. The first is based on andragogy, a branch of education dedicated to teach adults and the main premise is that adults learn by themselves, from their experiences and by example. It is not only copy or memory, it is an internal experience and the matter becomes part of the adult’ life. According to this approach, a person can learn something new about the Artificial Intelligence or a new recipe, by practicing, hopefully with a trainer or a coach.

The second way is to think of learning in a holistic perspective. A very simple way to do that is to teach what you want to learn. I have been in that situation and I have seen cases of people learning a language who teach others in a lesser level the same language. A holistic learning is to make learning, sharing and teaching as part of a whole experience in life.

These two ways can be the solution to learn too much in a short length of time – andragogy and holistic learning. Try it, maybe that is the solution.

Curiosity or exploration?

Okay, so, let's talk about this whole curiosity issue. You know the old saying, that is present in the languages I know: curiosity killed the cat. Well, maybe it's time to rethink that for humans.

I've always been a curious person – it's like a feature for a Capricornian that a few people know. But then I had this chat with a friend who straight-up called curiosity a sin. Whoa! That got me thinking.

There's this cool quote I found that perfectly captures the essence of curiosity for a person of this sign: They possess an inherent sense of wonder, always seeking knowledge to unravel the mysteries of life. My friend is also a Capricornian, so maybe it's more of a sign characteristic than a general curiosity trait, but I like to reframe curiosity with a bit of seeking.

After all, curiosity can lead us down some rabbit holes, those times when you dive into something without thinking it through. It is not always the best idea and it's like exploring a new neighborhood without checking if it's safe first, a new scientific experiment without protective masks or getting into a discussion with no knowledge on the subject.

Exploration, on the other hand, is all about focus, similar to setting out on a journey with a map and a compass. You're curious, sure, but you're also strategic. It's about learning, growing, and discovering, not just jumping headfirst into the unknown.

So, next time you want to be curious, remember that curiosity may be the starting point, but exploration is the real journey. And it requires preparation, investigation, training and willpower.

And going back to the saying, I think we could make this up: exploration revitalize the soul.

The power of imagination: did you see the yellow cat?

A little girl was just walking on the street; all of a sudden, she stopped and started to look across. She was staring to a point on the wall.

Her father asked her: “What do you see, honey?” The mother looked a little exasperated, since her child was used to see things that were not there.

Smiling, she looked at her parents and said: “I am looking at the yellow cat!”

The mother laughed, that kind of cruel laughter when someone says something stupid. Even her innocent child could perceive it…

“It is there, mom, it is there!”

 

Scenes like this one were very common in the past, but not so much nowadays. Today, the father would join the mother in explaining there is no yellow cat…

We are underestimating the power of imagination, the wonderful door that opens in our mind to see what is not there.

Imagination is around us. EVERYWHERE!

At least its fruit: buildings and bridges, machines and an incredible software that enables you to read this, no matter where you live, and much, much more…

All of these things, many of them we take for granted, they were just like the yellow cat in the past.

They didn’t exist.

 

Many years later, the girl is now a woman, who cultivates her dreams and projects very well. She has been relatively successful and very happy with her life.

Particularly today, when an old dream will become a reality…

 

Imagination changes into dreams later in life, when we start to understand our role in this universe, in our society and community. Those dreams can be, in the hands of imagination, incredible engines to make us to move on the road of existence.

There are two powerful tools that convert imagination into a dream:

• Reflection. By reflecting, the individual realizes what is going on and they are able to land the imaginative scenario taking place inside their head in the living reality.
• Visualization. It is basically imagination, but with a focus and it comes often as a result of a few questions a person asks the self: How is this going to happen? When is this going to happen? What should I do to make it happen?

 

She still remembers the scene of her childhood: one parent’s support and another parent’s… sniggering… But she is not a child anymore.

She is a woman who is standing in front to that wall, in which she saw the yellow cat. She is not cross the street, she is exactly on that spot and she is surrounded by her team, which will make her dream coming true.

The yellow cat is going to be alive!

 

Someone said that if we want to live what we dream, we need to stop sleeping, that is, we must change our imagination into reality.

By reflecting or visualizing, you were able to have a vision of what we want; now we must build it, and…

… Of course, it is more complicated, but there are 3 basic things:

1. Willpower. That is the push that will turn our dreams into a living reality.
2. Resources. It is the fuel for that transformation.
3. Capacity. We will need knowledge of many things, talents and skills.

And then, at last, imagination will walk on the streets…

 

They just finished their job and here it is: The Yellow Cat.

A restaurant that will change people’s lives. She has more dreams about the restaurant, but right now she is just mesmerized by what she sees.

A huge yellow cat licking the window of her restaurant, just under its name!

 

Final remarks:

• Remember that failure and defeat are lessons, they will increase your capacity.
• It is always possible that your dreams don’t come true; learn from them and help others to make their dreams come true.
• Surround yourself with positivity, but embrace others’ critique.
• Meditation is a perfect way to improve your visualization tool.
• Dialogue is key and emotional intelligence will be very helpful.
• Nobody can make their dreams come true by themselves…
• When you get success, share it with others by helping them somehow.

Too much learning is good, but…

Particularly in the West, we may take decades engaged in learning in schools and other institutions, besides what we learn at home, on the streets or temples. And it is not a bad thing.

In fact, learning as a desire, habit or hobby should be part of our personality, specially in our fast-changing world. Even to buy a new cell phone or going to a supermarket after a few months is a challenge.

The reason is that with every change, we need to adapt and to do that in a successful way, there is no alternative to learning. Well, maybe suffering…

And this is the age of changes, they are everywhere for every reason. So, it should be the Age of Learning too.

Why is not so? Why do we see more and more illiterate people in various areas of work or society? There are a few reasons for that.

The first one is to not follow changes. As the learning curve can be quite steep, it may be a wise decision, but not always practical, due to professional or personal commitments. It is the case of many parents having to learn the lingo of social media, so they can help their kids navigate in this new world, even though they may not want to do.

The second reason is that the learning curve is too hard for some people because of their age... There is a paradigm that connects age and change, which means many people just not even try to learn something because they are old. This means they will have difficult to use transportation, to withdraw some money and even to travel. This is not true and there are plenty of examples of people who have challenged these misconceptions. True, it may be hard for some people, but it is possible with some effort.

Another reason is that there is no time to catch up. It happens a lot for those who work in a fast-paced industry, as things can change brusquely and there is no time to really try and grasp what is going on. However, I do remember a former CEO who decided to take a course on accounting after his company suffered a fraud by their accountant. Discernment will guide those people to dedicate their time in learning what is really important, otherwise leadership will help to have the right people surrounding them.

Don’t think you cannot learn. You can, just understand how. And keep on learning…

 

The power of gratitude

One of my comforts as a child was reading and one of my favorite sources was a magazine that used to come every month or so to my auntie, but it ended at my house, so I used to get to it first.

It came from a Japanese religion, Seicho-no-ie, and the stories were inspiring! But one topic was always present: be grateful.

I confess as the years passed by, I simply forgot about that, until many and many years ago, and since then, I started to practice the simple act of gratitude.

It can be a conscious act, like saying thank you, smiling in a cheerful way or send a message to a person.

It can also be unconscious. As I moved from Sao Paulo, the land of please and thank you – we say that all the time to anyone – I realized people used to look at me differently in situations when my thank you was not really clear, like thanking a bus driver. Slowly, I learned to express the gratitude I was taught in a more subtle way through a small gesture of the head or a different smile. Well, with some friends even a joke can work as an expression of gratitude…

Gratitude turns into a power when, besides the act, it is felt within in a deep way, generating a wonderful healing sensation that life opened its arms to me through this person or situation.

That power can break down obstacles, elevate a person so that they are higher than bad situations and even rebuild bridges with other people.

Be grateful.

Be powerfully grateful.

Errors, mistakes, a good thing?

What to do when we make a mistake?

In the old culture, we would fight against mistakes and condemn everyone who commit them as sinners… After all, we should be perfect, right? At some level, it worked as people tried their best to avoid errors; on the other hand, it created a fake side of our society, with lots of people hiding their mistakes.

Our present new culture is different. An interesting cartoon circulating around shows two parents in the past complaining to their boy about his marks; at present, they were complaining TO THE TEACHER about the same… We tried so much to prevent errors, that we start to think we don’t make mistakes.

A story was sent via internet not long ago, about a person from a new generation. She made a mistake in the text she wrote, and her boss explained it to her. Big oops! The young employee couldn’t accept and made it very clear, not only in her office, but she even called her mother, who, apparently, supported her perfect daughter.

But it is not the young woman’s fault or her mother’s; it is the context we have created along the years, pretending no errors ever occur, of if they do, it is because we were bad people. Very bad people.

Maybe we should visit that topic and rethink it. Errors are not good, mistakes can damage relationships, ruin careers and many other bad consequences, and yet, it is one of the best ways to learn! In fact, it is not realistic to expect perfection at the first time…

Mistakes can be our teacher, if we allow them to do that, instead of making us into sinners or horrible people.

They can be the leverage we need for our transformation.

A sweet defeat

Very few learn this when they are children: defeat and failure are normal.

Yes, we all want to be victorious and successful, but in reality, things are not in that way and there will be more situations of defeat than victory, for many people.

The fear of defeat and failure in our society is easy to explain, but in human terms, defeat and failure offer a very interesting opportunity to grow. In fact, success sometimes block growth – just check in the recent past companies like Pan Am and Blockbuster: their growth, their enormous growth, took them to a point that they became stable and slowly, they have descended.

Some companies were creative like IBM and AT&T and they could prevent most of the fall, but this seems the fate of successful companies. Maybe it is the successful people’s fate too.

Recently, in a nostalgic powerful moment, one of the greatest singers from the 80’s and 90’s performed one of her big hits, along another younger singer and the result was a piece of magic in a very dark world… A moment of hope, a motivation to take action and something beautiful.

Her life, some say, was almost destroyed by success… I am happy she was able to stop her own descent… but many couldn’t.

Failure is something else. Many years ago, still a high school student, I read about a book which name drew my attention. I asked the teacher who responded simply that the book was not successful…

Many years later, after a short stay living in Santiago, Chile, I saw a banner on the street announcing the launching of that same book! Come on!

It took me a few months or years, not sure, until I was able to be with one of the greatest contemporary Brazilian writers who told me that book journey: it was a total failure, then a different publisher bought its rights, it published again several years after the first publishing and it became probably the most read Brazilian book in History. It sold worldwide more than 60 million copies in almost 70 languages.

Don’t be mad at me for not revealing names (why do you have access to Google?), but my intension is that I would like you to think about yourself…

Maybe, you had a huge failure sometime ago, but life has turned around and that failure turned into success.

Or you were not able to sustain your professional success and things are not as they used to be. Even though you are not having as much success as before, your mind is light, your relationships are much better, you feel so well! It is success, in a different way.

Perhaps you compare yourself with others and you notice how much they have gained, and you, so little… Take into account all you have, even your brilliant mind and the potential that was not revealed yet. And embrace the successful person you are.

Of course, there will be failures that won’t become a success… What lesson have you learned? Which changes should you implement in your life after that defeat? How that failure can turn into motivation for you or others?

I tell you, defeat and failure, they are very sweet…  It is just a question of perception.

The ultimate failure

Failure scares people. That’s the reason many people decide to not even try, so they don’t get defeated, particularly in the present society we live.

After all, we live in the society of the SUPERSUCCESSFUL!

Yes, everyone shows their success, their attainments and achievements. Many years ago, there was a video that went viral about life according to Facebook, showing a man who was passing through troubled times and decided to cheat a little bit, only showing the best parts of his (pretended) life. My best scene is when he takes a selfie after running many kilometers, which was false as he took the car to go there… All went crumbling down after his wife cheated on him and he started to share his real mental state, and he lost all his friends…

That means failure is dangerous, it means I will be left alone, because nobody likes a loser! Let’s dive deeply into failure:

• First, there is real failure, that is, a failure that can’t be hidden away, because you did lose your job or you were not able to get that in which you invested so much money to work. a beautiful feature of us humans is that we can keep trying and trying again, just like that song from Shakira, Try Everything.
• Second, there is failure, but after a while, turns into success! My case is probably exceptional; I was always a good student at high school, but my last year there was a year of doubts and an inner struggle of sort, so I lost my position. A colleague, by the end of that year, came to me bragging as he was able to secure a good number, MY NUMBER, so, he was better than me. It was military school and the tradition was that we would close our presence in high school by going to a military camp, EXCEPT those who got into the first 10 positions. In other words, I was going and my colleague would not go. My failure however changed, because the rules changed; although I couldn’t get a position according to the old rules, under the new rules, I did get a number amidst the 10 first numbers! And I was so happy!!! Many times in life, waiting turns failure into success, just wait.
• Then, there is the possibility to look at failure with a different attitude. For instance, it was not failure, it was learning… Failure is often a powerful motivator for improvement and there are certain very valuable values, like humility, that can be assimilated in an easy way by failing.

In other words, embrace failure and change it into something that will take you into success.

A life-long learning process

To have a dynamic life, full of energy and meaning, it is important to understand that this is the greatest university!

Every day, every moment, at every interaction or chance to contemplate, you and I are learning. There is no ending for that.

So, I would like to suggest you two things.

First, always be OPEN TO LEARN. This requires humility and self-esteem, kindness and courage, and most importantly, the deep desire to progress.

Second, always be OPEN TO SHARE. You will need to feel the pulse of the person with whom you are sharing, teaching, coaching or mentoring. You will have to go beyond knowledge and trust your own wisdom. And share with generosity, openness, mercy and love.

We are sharing the same classroom, let’s make the best of it.

 

Learning the art of thinking

You are thinking right now. Maybe you haven’t realized, but you are. All the time, even when you are asleep.

Thinking is something everyone does, but the ART of thinking is not.

Art means the various branches of creative activity, such as painting, music, literature, and dance. But it is also…

Art is to perceive reality in a different way, so it becomes a gate towards a new dimension, a definition that breaks the meaning and opens to something beyond.

The reason is that the art of thinking is to think in a creative way and observe reality in such a way that changes the way it affects the person. For instance:

• I am so sick that I can’t even get up. By being EMPATHIC, I can turn those thoughts into a possibility of healing… I am sick and I can’t get up. It is fine, but can I do anything? Maybe I can train my thoughts to be more positive, I can meditate more or I can learn a new language while I am in this position.
• What should I do? My boss is horrible and my job is horrible… My life is horrible… By applying CREATIVITY, the art of thinking can change it into… I am not happy with my job, so let me learn something different; I am sure I can find an alternative. In fact, this is a wonderful chance for me for change, let me embrace it.
• My life… what will happen? I don’t know where to go, I feel I am just moving with the waves. In this case, the art of thinking means REFLECTION, a deep reflection. My life… what will happen? It is an adventure and everything I have lived up to now, it certainly contributes to whatever I will face in the future. And how much have I lived! Life has given me so many treasures!

Think with art, in a different way, and the world will be different to you.

Nothing is permanent, all is eternal

Think of nothing as being permanent…

And your sorrow will fly away…

And your problems will vanish with the sunset…

And your obstacles will look so small…

 

Think of everything as being eternal…

And you will be aware that your victory is eternal…

And you will learn that all you do inspires others…

And you will realize your obstacles are there as lessons to be learnt…

 

By doing that, instead of sorrow, happiness will come in.

And instead of getting worried by problems or obstacles, you will celebrate your victory or learn the lesson.

And most important, you will be a hero, a heroine that will inspire many others to realize that nothing is permanent.

All is eternal.

Running away from the world, without… running away!

Have you ever had the desire to just RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING?

Maybe on a very cloudy Monday or after a horrible meeting?

Perhaps when you felt betrayed by another person or you lost that thing you liked so much?

Or it was some bad news about your health, or…

Many years ago, a friend of mine did exactly that. The last time I saw him, it was entering some country and he was in very bad shape – burnout was starting to show! Eventually, he left everything behind and started a new life.

However, fast forward a couple of years and he was back to his old life…

Running away is not a final solution. It is possible we go, carrying with ourselves the reasons of distress.

So, here is an idea: maybe, we can run away… without running away!

For instance, when I meditate, it is as if I go somewhere else, very far from here. That is the feeling and the perception, it works because it is meaningful.

These are a few things I know people have done to run away, without running away:

• To work as a volunteer during their holiday period.
• To take one year out to change career.
• To travel to a jungle, to learn more and to enjoy nature.
• To be part of a group of people and to do things that are completely different than their careers or normal life.
• To learn another language.

 

So, next time you think about running away, ask yourself: what can I do to experience something meaningful that is nothing to do with my current life?

Living among wolves

Imagine you are living among wolves… Scary, right? It depends.

First possibility is that you are a wolve yourself: you follow the rules, you hunt for living and you work in close cooperation with others. The problem is when you meet another pack and a battle takes place.

The second possibility is that you are a lamb and, sorry, but you are already dead! Maybe they keep you for a while, but one of these days, your life will end and you will be feeding these hungry wolves.

The last option I am seeing in my mind is that you are a human…

In the first possibility, you may not even realize you are that wolf. Violence, anger and constant threats is part of your life and cooperation is a tribal word for you and it does not work for those who are outsiders. Growth will be limited and your life will be restricted by what the society, tradition or culture tells you to be.

Of course, that is much better than being a lamb – it is that person who does not want to comply with the rules, with how society works, but they don’t have enough power to face it either. Eventually, life will be over – either you will resuscitate as a wolf or you will be just a skin of a person, barely living.

But what about being a human?

You can fight against them, but if you are LIVING WITH THEM, how can you fight for decades?

Maybe you can avoid them… You could build a fence and so, they are not allowed to come too close to you. But, without realizing, you are the one imprisoned, not the wolves; this is after all THEIR world.

You may try to imitate them, but, well, they figure out one day and you will be in danger.

You can try to domesticate them. However, it is not so easy, you will spend lots of energy and you will end with fake dogs instead of powerful wolves.

Best solution: you must learn how to live with them. They are beings that are so different than you and yet, they have many similar traces: negative (violence, difficulties to adjust to another person or group) and positive (cooperation, norms).

If you are aware you are surrounded by wolves, don’t be afraid; instead, start watching them and communicate in a very assertive way. Look for the beautiful things (cooperation for instance) and work from that perspective. Don’t deny who you are, but focus on find long-terms solution for your coexistence.

And one day, you may smile watching the beautiful people with whom you have the honor to live.

Overcoming the effect situations of high-impact

Two scenes come to my mind. The first one was when I was still a child and I broke my arm while practicing judo; my master at the time did not handle the situation well and I was not treated as I should have been. When I finally went to a doctor, many days later, I was told that it was too late and that I would forever have trouble doing certain movements.

Another scene was in my late teens; I was just coming to Brahma Kumaris, this wonderful spiritual path that I have been following for almost 40 years. A teacher was giving a class and she was a psychologist, so she shared a concept unknown to me until that point, related to the impact of situations with a high emotional impact. I experienced such clarity that many of my problems up to that moment (and in the future as well) started to make sense and it became easier for me to find solutions.

I mention these two scenes because they exemplify a lot of what a trauma is: the encounter of a person with a high-impact situation. There are several examples:

• Physical, as in the case of my arm.
• When you lose the job on which you depend so much, a financial trauma.
• Relational, in the case of the death of someone or the dissolution of a family.
• Emotional, which can come from an experience of abandonment.

However, the question here is how to overcome these high impact situations as they cannot be avoided (most of the time). But there is nothing that really prevents us from handling their effect.

From my previous narrative, I would suggest two things:

The first thing to consider is to get help from someone who can really cooperate in the work of relief and healing.

Second, reflect and understand the effect of this on life, particularly habits that can emerge and affect life negatively.

By doing this, you can initially alleviate the impact of the situation, process what happened and, consequently, begin a healing path, transforming the trauma into a learning experience.

The fine balance for your success…

There is a special secret for those who believe we all have an inner compass: the East and the West.

Success – real success – comes when there is a balance of excellence in all areas of life: personal, working, health, spirituality, etc. This is why real success is often out of reach…

A few examples: you probably know people, whose health is amazing, but their relationship with others is horrible, and there are those whose career is ascending constantly, despite the fact they feel down in a personal level.

With this special secret, any person can reach for that balance: at every activity, use the light of your spirituality (the East) and the road of your life experiences (the West).

Before doing anything, particularly if it is impacting or relevant, practice spirituality by meditating or a praying. Also, check if the present capacity matches the need of those actions; if it doesn’t, maybe training is in order.

During activities, keep the spiritual light on; something written can serve as a reminder and from time to time, read it. Jump into the action, by being effective and highly productive.

After those actions, sit down and practice spirituality again. Gratitude may be expressed or just a reflection on what took place. Learning the lessons and planning changes will help improving performance next time.

When coaching can’t work a miracle

I’ve started to study about coaching many years ago, but my first real experience to coaching was as an unwillingly coachee and the coach in this case just attacked me, by firing a series of questions. Of course, one of a coach’s skills is to confront the coachee, but I am sure that was coming from a very dark place as she just wanted me to change and I am sorry if I could not change in less than half an hour.

Maybe that is why I’ve taken time to embrace my role as a coach, because I do believe in it and my coachees have had very good experiences, but I don’t believe in miracles as my first unintended coach wanted. Unfortunately, many people advertise coaching as a way of doing miracles.

Coaching technique is fascinating and it really works, but we have to bear in mind any change is limited by three main actors: the coach, the coachee and life.

The coach must provide the best of themselves, making the effort to help the coachee to find new ways to attain whatever is not possible at present. Skills are important, but more than that is the will from the coach to benefit the other person and the energy she or he contributes to the process.

A coachee is not a passive actor and they require committing themselves with the task at hand: a personal change. Even though the coachee allows the coach to direct the process, they should be aware all the time and not fall into the trap of what the coach wants for me.

But life will play a valuable part here, by providing or not resources for the impossible to become possible. And there are times when even though both worked hardly and efficiently, things won’t work well… If that happens, both actors should remind themselves to find success in the failure in the form of a lesson or something intangible attained during that process, such as patience, and move on.

So, no miracles, but coaching is a very clever way to get changes taking place.