The eyes of a leader

In the year 86, I have met one of the greatest leaders I have ever known. Much before I heard of all theories and examples of female leadership, before I even thought about studying the topic of leadership, she was already performing it, and very successfully.

I then ask myself: what went wrong with leadership? News and social perception indicates a big lack of leadership in the world, and I guess Dadi’s method could be used to recover a bit of that.

Dadi Prakashmani was the leader of Brahma Kumaris, a spiritual university originally from India, to which I am part for almost 40 years. Her smile and energy used to motivate anyone just by seeing her and probably that is the first thing all leaders should take into account: smile…

But I would like to focus on her eyes, from which you would experience: you are the most important person in the world and I am your friend.

Her eyes used to see others’ specialties, even when they were wrong; of course she would notice others’ errors and correct them, but the feeling was that it was like a mother: I love you no matter what, but I must correct you because I want you to be the best.

Last things I could see in her eyes that could be helpful for any leader:

• There used to be a deep calmness that could calm us very deeply, more than anything we have experienced.
• At the same time, there was such a power; it was as if she was telling: you are going to win, don’t worry about that.

What do you see in your own eyes, leader?

Leaders without followers

I have the fortune to know many leaders who help in different ways within their communities, families or serve as example to others, creating an impact in others' lives. But one thing I have been noticing: a few of them have followers. As one person of those few put it very clear to me that, "he never asked for it".

The image of a leader is forever connected with that of followers at such an extent that when leadership is failing, some people started to blame their followers. However, in the last two decades, leaders and followers became different concepts.

The main reason is because the real leadership today is a form or another of self-leadership, a type of leadership without followers. For me it is very clear that the traditional macho leadership cannot serve today and female leadership, which can be its replacement, is still in the oven. By being absent, leaders have given us a unique chance of being our own leaders.

Whatever we do is because we really want to do and we are convinced this will be good, as it is by reading this blog... Yes, others can tell us something and we may accept that, but it is us who have the power to decide on it. And if besides being our own leaders, we are able to generate impact that leadership will be of a different flavor.

Today leaders are more authentic and their words and deeds are example for a so many people who want to improve their lives completely, without following them necessarily but feeling they tune into those people, those leaders' ideas.

We may copy them, follow some of their advice and read about their lives, trying our best to apply that into our own life. But if anyone asks me if I am so-and-so's follower, I will immediately say NO.

One big issue of this stage the world is going through in terms of leadership is that these leaders, who are examples, rotate too much and their leadership life-span is very short. Many times as they are not replaced in people's hearts, these people, who are not their followers, start to live from their leaders' past, following their example by proxy. And that is not good, because the main strength of today leaders is their authenticity, which is something you can only take benefit in the present. To solve that, if you are one of these "leaders without followers", invest more of your time in your own self-leadership. By mastering it, you will be an example in all stages of your lives, giving benefit to millions.

If you are not, learn more on self-leadership and use other leaders' lives as examples not by following it blindly but by understanding their reality and applying whatever you feel you should, into your own life.

Gender awareness

There is hardly a topic more complicated than genders. If you are writing, for instance, you can't forget to mention both genders (his/him/her) or you will be criticized. Spanish, Portuguese and other similar languages will have to change its grammar including at some point an alternative plural as in those languages when you have men and women together, the plural is in its male form.

The reality cannot be denied as literally for thousands of years, one gender has pushed the other into oppression. It seems that for the last few years, things are changing quickly and dramatically.

However, I observe three main types of change happening in the world, and how they are being received by the society.

1. The first change is that which allows the society to adapt itself to the reality. It is not only gender then, it is more than that: abortion, right to drive in some countries and vote in others, right to be a person different than the spouse and so on. It is a kind of a huge political statement happening in the world today. And the reaction is HUGE: protests, use of force in different ways, refusal, splitting countries...
2. The second change is more related to the micro-world of families and offices. Women are taking over, there is no doubt about that. More and more, males have been losing their spaces in the reality of day-to-day life, which has had a big effect in the geopolitical organization - just think that two of the most powerful people today are women (Merkel and Dilma). Resistance has been futile, as what matters today is the depth and the understanding of the situations around. If you take the example of Merkel in Europe, her possible counterpart, the ruler of France or UK, has been almost non-existent.
3. The third change is very different. It is the rise of the soft power, where power is not understood as possession or wealth, but as an energy that allows things to happen. With the ascension of women, little by little negotiations are changing its shape. At last, Europe was not able to push Greece out, instead there was a kind of forgiveness which is the main feature of this type of change. Instead of resistance, it encourages participation and dialogue. Instead of resistance, this change can be assimilated by the other gender very easily; for the first time in History, women and men can be equal without forcing the other to be equal to them...

If you really want to keep the pace with the changes, instead of fighting against it, my suggestion is, no matter your gender, to focus yourself into those competencies that are important in leadership like negotiation, and those important in general life like forgiveness. These will help you to allow all that shining energy you have inside without much resistance; on the contrary, society will benefit enormously from that.

Take care!

What about male leadership?

There is no doubt that not only women are ascending to power, but men are losing that power. There are many articles and essays on that, especially in United States and the reality is that a new paradigm is being created.

However, I was in a retreat on Leadership. My co-facilitator is an old friend, and one of her topics was female leadership. It was then I had an interesting realization.

First of all, she commented at some point that what is happening now is that women are increasing their status, but it shouldn't be that men lose theirs. It was then, I have started to look at the male leadership issue with different eyes.

Another point came from myself: leadership will be different performed, according to the person, his/her culture, the moment they are living, etc. So, why not to be a male leader?

First, let me clarify: female or male leadership does not have anything to do with gender, as we have seen women who were typically male leaders, and men who were female leaders. But, of course, it is easier for a man to be a male leader than a woman.

Male leadership stands for creation and creativity, zeal, enthusiasm, courage, energy, power, greatness, honor and all the things you have watched in old movies or read in books of such a times. Nowadays, what we see, is a travesty of that leadership where creativity destroyed nature, courage killed other people, power became a tool for self-serving, greatness turned into arrogance and, the worse probably, honor was lost forever.

To recover that kind of leadership will be a hard task, but my realization is that female leadership won't work without is counterpart - and possibly in the past, they were together providing the best from humankind to humankind.

It will require a new version of a man, a softer and firmer version, but I think it is really possible. It will require to see the world in a different perspective where violence does not have a place in a new society.