Sincerity may help your relationship

There are probably two killers of any relationship, common to any people no matter where they live or to which culture they belong to: routine and sincerity.

Particularly it is interesting on how this high praised and needed virtue can be a relationship killer. Honesty is fundamental, but in its heavy metal version, where honest words taste like bullets and hearts are destroyed, sincerity turns to be lethal.

And yet… Well, by studying virtues, I have notice they cannot work by themselves and they need to pair in the right order. For instance, humility can make people turn losers in life, but with courage or self-esteem, it helps bosses to be effective, human oriented and very effective.

At times when lying is so common and socially accepted in many cultures I know, at least at some level, an honest person is extremely valuable. Sincerity is even more treasured, as the person will have the courage to say whatever is in his mind… with kindness.

Probably the most spiritual and kind man I know, he is able to make you realize your mistakes without really telling them. He is open and trusting, and yet he is clear about his thoughts and feelings and don’t act against them, which is the core of sincerity.

Without sincerity, a relationship will be like a cliff hanger: you are really not sure about what will happen next…

Kindness, gentleness and mercy help sincerity to become an asset to the soul, enabling the individual to break walls that prevent an open exchange and build bridges that strengthen the relationship.

Gentleness makes bitter things sweeter

When we enter into an organization, we have some functions that we have to comply, but the trickiest part is the link with other people. After all, we didn't choose them to be our partners, to be with us sometimes more than our own families, and still we have to relate to them and get the job done.

A few years ago, a friend told me a story. She was working in an office and one of her co-workers used to collect money for celebrating each other's birthdays. After a while she started to get upset with him as he was very persistent with the task. At some point, he approached her and even before talking to her, she reacted saying she was too busy. He said he was just coming to her because the day before it was his birthday and he had a piece of cake for her...

There are many ways to deal with other people in an organizational environment, but no matter the technique you chose, be aware of a simple recipe that will make you way towards others easier:

• When you see someone for the first time, greet the person before asking something or ordering something... Greetings open others' hearts and enable them to comply with your requirements easily.
• Keep a memory of other people's circumstances: their families, last time they were sick or some course they are taken. Ask them about it, enjoy their success, and be empathic with their failures.
• If someone has made something bad for you, you feel hurt and yet you have to work with them, look for a mediator who helps you to deal with that. Don't keep grudges, they are bad for you.
• If you have to talk to someone in an environment of anger or restlessness, by being gentle you can decrease the resistance of the other person and facilitate the talk.
• "Please"'s and "thank you"'s can help to make the work environment even lighter. Try and use them as many times as you want.
• Smile, and don't get tired of smiling at others. Appreciate what they have done, forgive and respect their mistakes. Celebrate their conquests as if they are your own.

And the wonderful thing is when that small recipe becomes part of you, part of your personality, your own ethics. It is then when you will be able to change your environment and transform your life.