Finding hope

Many times, things don’t work. A few times, you will feel like in a very dark tunnel. What to do?

There are plenty of things to do, but there is one thing that must be present.

Hope.

And there will be times in which hope will be hidden behind many layers of fear, uncertainty, lack of courage… And so on…

Still, even when hope seems to have been disappeared, it is there… somewhere…

In those cases, a few tips can help:

• Be patient with yourself.
• No matter what happens, don’t give up.
• Talk with very positive people.
• Avoid people who tell you, you can’t.
• Don’t read bad news or bad books.
• Read A LOT of wonderful articles that show you things are WONDERFUL.
• Smile a lot, even when there are no reasons.
• Work hard, enjoy even harder.
• Be a friend to others.
• Take cooperation from your friends.

Then, hope will come to your mind and will shine like a sun within that dark tunnel.

Everyone is a friend… - Reason 36

The words ‘I have a friend’ are seldom used by people nowadays.

Oh, yes, you may have 5,000 friends… in a social network platform.  But among them, how many would extend their hand to you at a time of need or will share a dream with you, so you can build something together?  And by saying build something we are not saying to create another social network group.

A leader will be everyone’s friend and will have everyone as a friend because what he or she has with other people is a deep connection.

It means whenever there is a need or a dream to share, the leader will gather many people around her or him.  The purpose of this is not to win people over, but because the leader cares about others and whatever he or she inspires them to commit to do, it is for a greater benefit.

And whenever there is a need, the leader will be there.  Maybe she or he will not give exactly what the other person is looking for, but there will always be a smile, understanding eyes or a word of encouragement.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Every day you look at your family and friends from a fresh perspective - Reason 2

People get used to each other and fall very easily into routine.  And as someone once said, routine kills love.

In fact, there is nothing wrong about routine… It’s great!  The problem is the attitude that emerges from activities that don’t require your discernment, intelligence or intuition.  Those three make relationships and your life in general richer, no matter for how long you have been with them.

Your family and friends are extremely important for you.  They create a safe zone where you can make mistakes and learn how to do them right, without serious consequences – in a company, THEY FIRE YOU for the same errors your partner has pointed to you.

As a leader, you see them as more than just people.  They are your day-to-day heroes, rescuing you from stress, horrible decisions to be made and peer-pressure.  This attitude enables the leader to find a new thing about each one everyday, something small or big, full of impact or almost irrelevant, that makes them even more incredible.

In fact, what you are doing is stimulating their leadership since when you look at them like that, the Pygmalion Effect[1] takes place and wonders happen from apparently ordinary people.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

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[1] The Pygmalion Effect is an internal process that happens when a person looks at others with a higher vision, provoking an increase on the other person’s performance, results or state of mind.  See more about that here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect

Acknowledging your specialties

Many years ago, there was the praise of the "all-round" one, that is, the person who could do anything at any time. These people were valued by companies and communities and they created friends wherever they went.

Much later and a few years back, the new trend was of those who were specialized. Experts in their subject, in a very complex society, these people were hunted by companies that would pay them lots of money for whatever they could do.

Well, what is happening today exactly? As a continuation of specialization, companies and communities are valuing individuals' specialties. Let's understand that and the impact on our economy and society in general.

Although the all-rounder could do anything, quality was missing and quantity was favored. Specialists raised the quality keeping quantity. But that is not enough.

There is a moment when people start to have doubts in this wave of consumerism. After all, whatever you purchase, whatever service you get, normally you want that because of some need to be satisfied, or you could say to experience some kind of happiness out of it. But that happiness is hardly eternal... after a while, no matter how wonderful was whatever you have got, you would want more and something different.

People nowadays need more than just objects or moments of experience. They need someone who can get in touch with them. We all need friends who understand us and who help us really with our needs.

So, many years in the future, this new trend will be all over the place. People won't pay much attention to the color of their cell phone or the brand of the car, as they will pay attention to the people who help them. There will be a bond in business that was never ever imagined. This will be possible because people will work from the heart, based on what they really love to do and they are good at it, that thing that makes them so special on others' eyes.

Today... well, today that is being built by you, when you talk to your client, student or the citizen who looks for your help with dignity and respect. It starts with you when you give others more than what they ask for. It starts with you when you give others the love from your heart, your mercy and compassion. Your sincerity and friendship.

It starts when you recognize your own specialty. Believe it or not, there is something only you can do in the way you do, and that is the special power present in whatever you do in life.

Perhaps, the other trend will take some time to start, but the impact in the economy will be great enough to start a new age where humans become the focus of our civilization again.

The power of friendship to overcome situations

It's a Wonderful Life was not so successful at its time, but it starts a tradition becoming one of the most iconic movies for Christmas. And for friendship.

Although at this movie friends help George Bailey with money, the friends' effect goes beyond it. It is like a psychological or mental support that enables you to move forward, even though all around you seems to be against that.

As far as I know there are no statistical data about the help of a friend, but I am sure you have experienced that at some point. And what is it exactly?

Adverse situations, obstacles, barriers and problems have the intrinsic ability to "freeze" your self-esteem and your capacity for finding solutions. Let's see this example: I remember a few years ago when I went to the Elephants Orphanage and watched those wonderful beings to take their bath at the river. At some point, a few of them went to the other shore and after a while, one of the caretakers went to fetch them. I was curious to know how, as they are enormous and the caretakers are quite small in comparison. But, of course, they had a tool: a stick with something at its tip that was able to hold the elephant by its ears...

Reality is elephants are much stronger than their caretakers. However, since they are small the men use the same tool so the elephants got used to that and don't challenge their right over them.

In the same way, situations have come when we were not able to deal with them and that left an impression. Years later when we finally can deal with those problems, when they come we cannot manage them as we believe internally they are stronger than us.

Imagine that I could speak elephants' language and become friend to them. Imagine that at some point I start to tell them they are much stronger than their caretakers so they don't need to fear their stick... That is what a friend does for us.

Friends come as an external factor that helps us to realize things. Without friends it is much harder to understand that we are much stronger than those situations.

The more we realize how strong we are, it will be more difficult for problems to overcome your own power. With friends around you, you will always feel protected and much more powerful.

In today's world of Social Networks friends, it is important to have real people around you, physically or subtly.

When they are close to you, enjoy their company and presence, their advices and let them guide you a bit.

When they are far away, enjoy the powerful thoughts and wishes they send you, let those touch your heart deeply.

The art of friendship (The 16 celestial arts)

As social beings, one of the main skills we need to develop is the art of friendship. But for that, you need first of all to win some friends.

A relative is something different; you don't choose. But a friend comes from a choice and a selection. It comes from your own power of discernment and decision-making.

Whilst some people can give you very powerful tips on how to get friends, we have to understand that word a little better. A friend is not something so easy as he will share your deepest secrets, and he or she will share  theirs. It is like doing an open-heart surgery: you need courage and clarity on what you are doing.

Probably the period of life we have more friends is during our childhood. Innocence helps a lot as we don't request too much and there are not that many secrets to share anyway. Along the life, number of friends decreases until you have very few. Out of those few, some are just for mentioning but there will be even fewer you can count on them for anything, and they will count on you for anything.

Translating that into a world of competition, where people try to beat you all the time and the chances for prosperity look smaller and smaller, that means those selected people in your life that you know will back you up no matter what happens.

A friend is someone who can help you in many different ways like listening without judging, offering help without waiting for reward and loving you, even when you are not lovable...

Yes, that will definitely help you in your productivity or in finding a better job. Or simply, it will help you to be a better human being, because that is the reason of having friends.

And how to get a friend? Any formula?

My main advice is just to not get too shy with people, don't get used to the Facebook "friends" and allow life to put you in touch with people you can get tuned easily.

When you do have a friend, avoid too many emails or text messages and make your best to share some quality moments together. You will feel the difference in your life when that happens.

You can't hunt or buy a friend, but I am sure there are lots of people out there who are just waiting for you to open a little bit and let them enter in your life.

Enjoy friendship!

True Friendship

In a world where people has about 2,000 friends via Facebook, I just wonder if the same word FRIEND is changing its meaning.

In an old and beautiful Brazilian song, Milton Nascimento states: Amigo é coisa para se guardar debaixo de sete chaves dentro do coração... (Friend is something to be kept under seven keys inside the heart). And that has been always my image of a friend, someone who is always there.

First, a friend is someone you have a deep connection, which is opposed to a superficial connection like business or "likes and dislikes", or Facebook. This deep connection sometimes is based on something you shared together like an adventure or school; other times, is just because you both are people interested in the same things and you dive deep into them. So, start checking now: who are your friends?

Second, a friend is that person who is available, no matter what. Not the romantic and idealist availability that is almost impossible in such a times when everyone works and works and works. Availability is an attitude: if you are available to another person, you will have that one in your mind and as soon as you physically available, you will call him or her. You can't forget, because you are a friend. Check: Whom are you friend to?

Third, a friend will be by your side, always, even though you make a mistake. Even though you make something that goes against your friend's values and principles. To be by your side does not mean to agree with you. A friend will know when to push, when to be firm and convince the other person to regret, apologise or make any correction to those mistakes. The most important thing is that a friend won't cut you off, never.

How many true friends do you have? Keep them, they are treasure.

Words for a New Year

Some people are arguing, saying that time is passing faster, really faster. Whether it is true or not, reality is that 2011 was over and now we are entering 2012. And it did look fast.

2012 will be an interesting year. Many things are programmed everywhere in the world, but also crisis will tend to happen more often in various scenarios and dimensions of life. With that in mind, it is good to start 2012 with some words which can be powerful for your life. These are an extract of a small text I have sent as my Christmas gift to everyone - just to explain a bit of the background, it is a fictional idea of 2012 being the last year of my (ours) life(ves).

• If someone hurts your heart, talk to yourself and talk to God. God is the doctor of the soul, He will heal you and give you even more love.
• Never think negative of others, because the first person who experiences that negativity is yourself.
• If you want to take revenge on someone who causes you harm, the best way is to give him or her love, mercy, understanding and a new chance.
• If sorrow knocks at your door, don’t open it.
• Even though happiness does not knock at your door, open it and invite her to come in.
• There are no excuses to not do something: responsibility and action will help you to grow.
• If at some point a smile vanishes from your face, talk to God, with a friend or remember something pleasant. Don’t stay without a smile, not even for a second.
• If you think of something unpleasant that happened in your life, pretend it is just a movie and clap at the protagonist, which means, yourself.
• When pain comes, don’t stand it. With love and respect for your own body, surrender it to whoever can heal it. But don’t allow the pain reaches inside your being; to avoid that, talk to God and feel His healing love.
• Don’t deceive yourself about your situation, but do not exaggerate in relation to your destiny. Each day is more valuable, when you know you will be leaving someday – it is better to enjoy these days rather than think when they will be over.
• Don’t be afraid to say “I am leaving”. Understand better its meaning, talk to yourself and with others.
• Don’t be afraid of what is waiting for you. You will reap the seeds you’ve sown, so take advantage of your last days to sow even more seeds, not in the fear of what will come.
• Love. Don’t stop loving, never.