Finding hope

Many times, things don’t work. A few times, you will feel like in a very dark tunnel. What to do?

There are plenty of things to do, but there is one thing that must be present.

Hope.

And there will be times in which hope will be hidden behind many layers of fear, uncertainty, lack of courage… And so on…

Still, even when hope seems to have been disappeared, it is there… somewhere…

In those cases, a few tips can help:

• Be patient with yourself.
• No matter what happens, don’t give up.
• Talk with very positive people.
• Avoid people who tell you, you can’t.
• Don’t read bad news or bad books.
• Read A LOT of wonderful articles that show you things are WONDERFUL.
• Smile a lot, even when there are no reasons.
• Work hard, enjoy even harder.
• Be a friend to others.
• Take cooperation from your friends.

Then, hope will come to your mind and will shine like a sun within that dark tunnel.

What, Christmas again?

Since my childhood, I have noticed Christmas was not as exciting for adults as it was for me, a child. In fact, it seemed some people like my mother were even afraid of it, after all, around Christmas was the day she worked more than the whole year; she was a saleswoman.

Now, as an adult… what can I say?

I do love the time and period, the lights on the streets and a general distinct vibe in the air, but I think we have turned Christmas into a shopping experience, instead of a life changing event, which could be…

Because of the story of Christmas, you may see others under a different light. Just think there is a guiding star for every human being and your job is just helping them to see it. That is real Christmas!

And Christmas smiles emerge from the heart, not from some desire or just the need of pleasing another person. It is a real smile… something we should enjoy the whole year.

During Christmas, people are easy to reach, easy to talk and they are more open to listen to you, or just talk to you. It is the perfect moment you have been looking for a long time, when you at last get that I forgive you.

So, don’t let yourself down this Christmas, just refocus and pay more attention to the real spirit of this celebration.

A Big Hug for you, Merry Christmas!

The real reason why you work and why it is magical

My first job was THE WORSE! I was clearly unprepared for the labor market, so I had to get whatever was available. I never mentioned it in my curriculum and I just did it to earn some money. Don’t ask!

But along the years, I’ve noticed that even the most magical and interesting jobs, well, they were not that good, demanding too much from me or making me go through long times of boredom.

It was much later that I started to understand my work as a way to fulfill my own purpose in life. In fact, it provides me with invaluable tools and helps me to refine my own self.

In fact, my realization was that you can choose the way you see your work and it is not much as the work in itself, but the attitude and awareness whilst working. It enabled me to work with a smile for some very interesting project or the worse initiative.

Try this: don’t see WHAT you do, instead focus on HOW you do it… Go deep within, check your thoughts, feelings and emotions; think about the real reason you are there working.

Although sometimes it will give you money, other times just learning, but if you have the right focus, MAGIC will happen and that work will give you a very deep satisfaction.

What are you waiting for? Go and work!

This is a series of posts on MAGIC… I hope you have enjoyed them all.

The communication power: your smile and features

As a frequent customer for airlines, one thing I notice is how less and less my providers smile. And when they do, it is really not convincing...

I did not research or check statistics. It is more a feeling than anything. At some airlines, their employees are visibly tired and unhappy; others they seem to be upset you are travelling with them so they cannot have a nice time as they have to attend you.

Part of the power of communication comes from your features and a smile, a very genuine and sincere smile, is a fundamental part. Well, you cannot buy smiles nor do a Joker, but you can always learn how to smile more and more...

Smile comes from a deep sense of satisfaction. So, the easiest trick for an easy smile is that: be satisfied. Satisfaction comes from four sources:

• The self. First of all, you need to be happy with yourself, your efforts, your capacity and energy. Satisfaction is not a static thing; it does not mean that you don't improve because you are so satisfied with whatever you are. It means you are happy with your own self and from that happiness, you will pursue your own growth or transformation.
• Others (close). As everyone influences everyone, when others are satisfied with you and you are with them, the exchange of energy is wonderful. You will feel your life is a huge continuous party! The close ones, friends and close relatives, are the main people that influences in your own sense of satisfaction. If someone is not satisfied with you or you are not satisfied with them, it is time for reflection and to make a decision about it.
• Others (far, far away). There are other people you are not that close, or maybe you have been close in the past. Still, our sense of satisfaction relies on the feeling of being satisfied and if your airline pilot is not doing that or your local baker, then it is time to check on what to do about it. A part of the stress experienced in big cities comes from the interaction between people who are basically strangers.
• God or a Supreme Source of energy. Yes, God is present in our smiles too... Our relationship and its level with this Supreme Force will interfere in our personal sense of satisfaction. If you don't believe in God, it is still possible you believe in something; that point you believe, God or something else, means a lot for you and the way you feel satisfied with His or Her role in your life will help you to shape that smile in your face.

By increasing your sense of satisfaction, your smile will be easy and your features will be influenced by that, which will change the way you communicate. A smile express trust and confidence, joy and calm, so when you communicate with others, they will get that feeling from you.

The power in a smile

Many of the less tangible acts of a human being have more effect than visible gross actions. That is the case of a smile.

If you want to understand its impact, just imagine for a moment a shop where its salespeople NEVER smile. Compare its sales with another similar shop, but where its salespeople are normally smiling. No need to say the last will have better results in their tasks.

Why? What is in a smile that makes things different?

There would be many points of view to respond to that, but we could just say there are four things we can learn about the power in a smile. Four things we can replicate in our lives, in other areas besides smiling.

1. It is born from within. Smiles don't come from facial exercises. You cannot bully your face to smile! It has to come from inside, from a deep perception of the world around you. It is a decision that changes your perspective.
2. It only works if it is genuine. The former point means that if you don't feel, you won't smile. Or at least your smile won't have the same power. Authenticity is the key.
3. Smiling keeps your balance. Human balance comes from a constant need to recover. Even when we walk, our balance comes after we have one foot only on the floor... When you smile, you send a message to yourself saying "everything is alright". Then, you start to work things out so they do become OK.
4. Winning others' hearts. When you smile, you generate a different energy. You tell others your doors are open for them and you invite them to your life. Smiles are a must if you need to create, sustain or heal a relationship.

So, what are you waiting for? Just smile...

About listening

Language has its wisdom and one proof is the fact we have two verbs in relation to audition: to hear and to listen.

While hearing is mandatory except if you have a physical problem, listening is something else, and it can be the key to have a better communication and relationship; it is also considered a virtue for leaders.

Listening is natural for many, but others need to develop that special skill. Among the last ones, some do realize that need, others face so many obstacles that one day reaches that point of realization, but there will be many who won't listen at all...

If you are a natural one, congratulations. But if you would like to develop that sense of listening, here are a few tips that have helped me (yeah, you guessed right, I am not a natural...):

• If you are going to talk to someone, check your own motivation and interest. You cannot fake you are listening, but you can tune to your own motivation towards listening to the other person.
• Before talking to someone, organize your life. Definitely, put your mobile phone in hold (switch that off, if you may), but other aspects of your life too. Be there, present with the other person, as if nothing else is going on in the world.
• Listen with attention. Get into your inner silence and make your best to not analyze or think about a response right now. There will be the moment...
• Remember: you are not a closet. Yes, smile and laugh, nod your head and do little talk in a way that you don't interfere with the other person's talk, but at the same time don't be too quiet.
• If you can't give the person a proper quality time, don't give it. Negotiate another moment and explain it is because you really care about the other.

May you be a good listener!

A different Christmas

Try to do something different this year.

What do you do for Christmas anyway? Eating, drinking and giving gifts, that's how it goes...

So, let's make some changes in it.

Instead of eating, did you try to feed someone else? I don't mean literally, but there are so many communities around the world, perhaps very close to you, where people don't have much to eat; go there, share what you have with them and appreciate the beauty of Christmas in another point of view. Sing with them, tell them stories and feed them with pieces of your wonderful life.

Drinking? Try to drink water for once. Yes, try to keep yourself healthy and with your mind so clear. Don't let yourself get disturbed by others' arguments, on the contrary enjoy their power and energy, and enjoy their love and passion.

And at the time of giving gifts, remember to smile. Remember to wish the other person well. Remember to give it from the heart, and you will be living a wonderful different merry Christmas.

When volunteering is more than a pastime

Many years ago, I've met a very interesting Colombian man who was a full time volunteer. Even though he had a family, he managed to get small jobs here and there, so he could keep with his mission. I was part of his mission; I went to a small village in the Choco to talk about values, as a volunteer. His spirit really impressed me. Yes, for the last 30 years I have been a volunteer in Brahma Kumaris, but, I don't have a family that relies on me...

Out of the four main functions all human beings have, to be a volunteer is the most interesting one for me, because I have never thought before I could do something to another person without a direct reward. Yes, we do need a job or something where we earn something - that is another of the four functions. But when we do something without a payback... It is as if you had a beautiful bird jailed in a cage inside you and when you go and help someone, you would open that cage, experiencing the beauty of its presence, giving happiness beyond measure. You do feel like you are earning more than in your own job.

Of course, that will only work if there is a balance with the rest of the functions, but volunteering opens your mind and awareness to the greatness of the self, because you can only give what you have; volunteering helps you to realize your own treasures and how they can support the world where you live.

I've lost touch with that Colombian, but I still remember his smile, even when he described the terrors he witnessed during the war our country goes through. I hope he is well and I hope he keeps on distributing his treasures everywhere. Our world needs them...

Gentleness makes bitter things sweeter

When we enter into an organization, we have some functions that we have to comply, but the trickiest part is the link with other people. After all, we didn't choose them to be our partners, to be with us sometimes more than our own families, and still we have to relate to them and get the job done.

A few years ago, a friend told me a story. She was working in an office and one of her co-workers used to collect money for celebrating each other's birthdays. After a while she started to get upset with him as he was very persistent with the task. At some point, he approached her and even before talking to her, she reacted saying she was too busy. He said he was just coming to her because the day before it was his birthday and he had a piece of cake for her...

There are many ways to deal with other people in an organizational environment, but no matter the technique you chose, be aware of a simple recipe that will make you way towards others easier:

• When you see someone for the first time, greet the person before asking something or ordering something... Greetings open others' hearts and enable them to comply with your requirements easily.
• Keep a memory of other people's circumstances: their families, last time they were sick or some course they are taken. Ask them about it, enjoy their success, and be empathic with their failures.
• If someone has made something bad for you, you feel hurt and yet you have to work with them, look for a mediator who helps you to deal with that. Don't keep grudges, they are bad for you.
• If you have to talk to someone in an environment of anger or restlessness, by being gentle you can decrease the resistance of the other person and facilitate the talk.
• "Please"'s and "thank you"'s can help to make the work environment even lighter. Try and use them as many times as you want.
• Smile, and don't get tired of smiling at others. Appreciate what they have done, forgive and respect their mistakes. Celebrate their conquests as if they are your own.

And the wonderful thing is when that small recipe becomes part of you, part of your personality, your own ethics. It is then when you will be able to change your environment and transform your life.

New and Old, and also Christmas

Do you like Christmas? Do you REALLY like Christmas?

So, if I give you something OLD, very OLD, practically useless for many people - after all, it is something you can't buy or sell, and it does not indicate status either... would you accept that?

Probably not, right? Your thoughts are probably going to a new watch, car, dress, or anything of the sort. Not something OLD, never!

It is something that exists even before the original date of Christmas - yeah, the one when THAT baby was born.

It is something that some people say we practice even before we are born.

Because, you know, I want to give you a smile. Gentle, kind, encouraging, loving, friendly - you can choose!

I know that my smile won't make you richer, more beautiful than you are now and it won't open doors for you in the high society. I am sorry it won't serve you so that you could sell it. And I am happily giving it for free.

But... you know, I think at some point next year, that will be very useful. It is a virtual smile - you can't see it, but I am giving it to you while I am typing this post. And it will be useful for you, when you feel the lack of gentleness and kindness, when you don't have the courage to do something, and when your heart feels a little empty.

At those moments, just remind yourself of this very useless gift I am giving to you. MERRY CHRISTMAS!