Healing the self by recovering balance

 

In the previous post, we explored the idea of a “negative balance” - the way body, mind and soul try to compensate when life goes out of alignment. Even though the system keeps working, it often does so at a cost: pain, stress, emptiness or disconnection. A “negative balance” allows us to function, but not in harmony. So, the natural question arises: how do we move from compensation to true balance?

 

How do we fix this? How do we move toward a real balance?

Real balance is not achieved by fixing only one area of life. It is not just a question of changing our diet, starting to meditate or resting more.

Balance is a dynamic relationship between opposites:

·                 Pragmatism and spirituality.

·                 Action and reflection.

·                 Body and soul.

·                 Money and disinterest.

·                 Nature and civilization.

·                 Leisure and inner silence.

·                 And many more…

When one side dominates, the other tries to compensate. And this is why a negative balance appears, disguised as stability or a “normal life”.

It is important to remember something simple and powerful: balance is not something we achieve once and forever. It is a cycle in which we get it, we lose it and we rebuild it again… and possibly, we will lose it and rebuild…

Think of walking: one foot leaves the floor and goes higher than the other - at that moment, there is disbalance; then, that foot reaches the floor, slightly ahead the other one, not because of a competition between feet, but to regain balance. And there it is, the other foot, ready to rise up… Each time we walk, we have learnt a bit more until we master it.

Each cycle teaches us something deeper about ourselves in terms of our limits, our attitude, our priorities, our awareness…

For me it is helpful to check myself, through questions. For instance, in relation to my work, I could ask: “Am I productive?” But I ask instead: “Can I keep doing this for a long term?” “How healthy is this work?” “Is this aligned with who I really am, with my purpose and vision?”

Living in balance does not mean avoiding effort, challenges or discomfort; it means choosing harmony instead of constant compensation, becoming aware when we are forcing ourselves to adapt to unhealthy rhythms.

Instead of falling into the easy and “natural” negative balance, we must pause and ask ourselves: “In which part of the cycle am I right now?” “Am I rebuilding, compensating, avoiding or healing?” “Am I really balanced?”

And maybe the most important question is:

What kind of balance am I living today - a healthy one, a negative one that I have learned to normalize, or am I healing and rebalancing myself?

When we experience balance, but it is negative

 

I have lost my balance so many times that I lost count.

In terms of health, I still remember living for years with a deep headache. It was not occasional. It was not “from time to time”. It was all the time. For years.

Balance is part of our nature. So much so that when we lose it, we try - consciously or unconsciously - to create another form of balance, sometimes an unhealthy one. It is what I call a negative balance: an adjustment that keeps us functioning, but at a cost.

Later, a doctor helped me understand what was happening. My body was compensating for an internal imbalance. It had created its own “solution”, one which was painful. That moment brought a deep realization: in human life, balance is not always immediate. When we lose it, we may take years to rebuild it. This is why, the negative balance comes in, as a way to compensate, until - and if - we recover the normal positive powerful balance we lost.

But, beyond myself, when I look around today, I feel many people are living in this same kind of negative balance, lives increasingly out of sync with natural rhythms, body, mind and soul.

Let’s look at how this works more closely:

• The body. We move less. We eat food that nourishes less. And then sickness appears - not as punishment, but as a messenger, a signal that something is out of alignment. The body is constantly trying to bring us back to equilibrium. When we ignore those signals, the compensation becomes heavier, more painful and more persistent.
• The mind. Overthinking, anxiety, endless worries... These are no longer exceptions - they are becoming the norm. The mind tries to compensate for inner emptiness or lack of direction by producing constant activity. Thoughts replace silence and noise replaces clarity. For a moment, this gives the illusion of control or purpose. But deep inside, it only creates more exhaustion. Another form of negative balance.
• The soul. In the past, people practiced their religion. Then many only spoke about it. Now, for many, even truth itself has become blurred. The soul needs silence, meaning, connection and that inner fire from those times. Without nourishment, the soul looks for substitutes: constant distraction, external validation and an endless consumption of information.

A negative balance makes the system to work, but not in harmony. How to fix that? A topic for the next post…

The practicality of life

 

Our minds easily focus on practical things - money, health, problems that demand attention. Particularly in difficult moments, this practicality has its benefits.

Many years ago, I met someone who shared his story with me. His father had abandoned him and his two brothers, leaving them in deep poverty with their mother. She worked as a maid, quietly and tirelessly, never complaining. Through sheer determination, she raised her three sons, all of whom eventually went to college. Later, she managed to buy her own home, without anyone’s support. When she retired, the family she had once served even begged her to stay on to care for their children.

When tragedy hits, a clear and practical vision can work wonders. It gives strength, direction and a reason to keep moving forward - often changing the odds in one’s favor. Pragmatism is a powerful motivator.

But there is another side to practicality: the risk of being pulled into a materialistic whirlwind without realizing it.

A deeply spiritual person, a close friend of mine used to say money wasn’t that important - he was even a role model for me. But later, he found a dream job: few hours, excellent pay, endless possibilities. I had already moved to another country, so we weren’t in close contact, but I heard about how things changed. Slowly, subtly, spirituality lost priority. Eventually, he recognized what was happening and it took him a real effort to pull himself out of that quicksand.

Money is not bad. It is good and it is absolutely necessary. Working few hours for a good income is even a sign of good karma. The problem begins when we lose sight of the principles and priorities that form the real wealth of the soul, in this case, spirituality.

Be practical - let it guide you.

Be mindful - so you don’t lose your balance.

And above all, stay anchored in what elevates you… because that is where true motivation lies.

This is a post in a series about motivation - starting from within.

A dysfunctional life

Life is basically a question of balance. When there is balance, life goes well.

When balance is lacking, life goes badly…

OK, it is not that simple, but balance is a key factor to experience a life of plenitude.  And the reality supports balance is not that common.

Every day, we hear stories about people who hurt themselves or others. Every day, we hear about people who lost their aim in life. Every day, we hear about people who makes other people lose their goals.

There is no easy solution for reaching that level of balance, particularly if the person is way out of balance. but there are a few things to do to restore its balance:

• Breath before acting, or at least reflect upon whatever you are going to do.
• Talk with other people, hopefully wiser than you.
• When you really feel disbalanced, don’t lose your heart, keep on moving, keep on trying.
• If all fails, take a break by travelling or going for a retreat.
• New habits are hard to form, but they are the best solution to keep balance.
• Be happy! Enjoy happy news, the company of happy people and act with that happiness.

The fine balance for your success…

There is a special secret for those who believe we all have an inner compass: the East and the West.

Success – real success – comes when there is a balance of excellence in all areas of life: personal, working, health, spirituality, etc. This is why real success is often out of reach…

A few examples: you probably know people, whose health is amazing, but their relationship with others is horrible, and there are those whose career is ascending constantly, despite the fact they feel down in a personal level.

With this special secret, any person can reach for that balance: at every activity, use the light of your spirituality (the East) and the road of your life experiences (the West).

Before doing anything, particularly if it is impacting or relevant, practice spirituality by meditating or a praying. Also, check if the present capacity matches the need of those actions; if it doesn’t, maybe training is in order.

During activities, keep the spiritual light on; something written can serve as a reminder and from time to time, read it. Jump into the action, by being effective and highly productive.

After those actions, sit down and practice spirituality again. Gratitude may be expressed or just a reflection on what took place. Learning the lessons and planning changes will help improving performance next time.

Many virtues and many defects

Maybe we don’t realize, but we have so many virtues – qualities that ease relationships and make life in a collective a wonderful experience.

Perhaps what we don’t realize is the quantity of defects we have – qualities that make life with others and the environment much hard.

We have both and it is good to know that, and to embrace both sides of the self. In a recent song nominated for the Oscar, the singer talks about how she saw clouds in a romantic way, until she understood clouds may mean harm and damage too. Life has both sides and to deny either of them is not healthy.

So if you are one of the many people in the world who don’t think very high of yourself, it is time to change that mentality: count your victories despite their small size, understand your main positive qualities and develop them, and above all, love yourself.

And if you are one of many who denies having any defects, just accept them: remember your defeats as a way to get a bigger success, work on those defects you have and, along with all that, unconditionally love yourself.

When you keep working on both sides, your life will be richer and you will inspire many others too.

Being a voluntary is having a new life

As a volunteer of many years, I can’t imagine what life could be without that great feeling of doing things without an immediate reward, or no physical reward at all.

As a human, we need to do four things to be in balance:

• Working and earning an income.
• To work without an income.
• Processing what is happening.
• Awakening or broadening awareness.

Without one of these aspects while living your life, you will feel some emptiness, but it is by not volunteering that you would lack the big satisfaction whilst being productive. You would probably be complaining eternally about your work and how underappreciated you are.

We are used to think of productive people as the ones who have proper skills, who went to a good college or work hard. In reality, it comes from a deep realization you have on a specialty you own, what can be called a calling, or vocation. When you are working based on your calling, all is good and what is not good, is a challenge you know you can overcome.

That energy we all have, it wants to come out, flow along our community and change life as we know it. We use some of that to get our livelihood, the result of our combined forces of mind and body.

Another part is used without waiting for an income. In fact it gives back, that is my experience: smile, gratitude, blessings and good wishes are my salary for being available to people, and cooperate as best as I can. But of course, I need to pay for this computer and smiles don’t work with it…

This subtle income is powerful and it changes you and other people’s lives. If you are not into volunteering, here are some suggestions:

1. Check for your own specialty, that thing you know how to do or to be that is unique.
2. Look for places where it will be appreciated, either because it is necessary for them or to complement what they already do.
3. Do a trial. Work with an organization or two for some time and check how you and others feel about your presence there, and your invaluable contribution.
4. After making a decision, create a routine in relation to what you are going to give there.
5. It is better to not exceed, otherwise that can affect your livelihood and, remember, balance is the key word.

After volunteering for one year or two, share your experience and help others to receive the same energy you are.

Do you have patience?

In a very fast-paced world, some virtues are not so cool and patience is one of them for it is connected to slow-moving men and women, weak individuals or very old people.

In fact, patience is connected to the reality of the world. If it is not for patience, your parents would not have expected you to be born – after all, NINE MONTHS!! So many things you can do during that time!!!!

For example, food and maturity come from a season and it is hard to be sped them up. When humans mix science with nature, results are not pleasant to everyone and there is a big wave in the world trying to revert that we did to our own food; same thing applies to maturity, which has its process and it is different to each person.

My observation is that patience is not the problem. The real challenge is how to discern between having patience and being slow. It is not that simple… Let’s take the example of a career.

On one hand, patience will help you to develop it in a pace that won’t stress you out but it will guarantee a good result at the end of the road. You will be focused on learning more than having immediate success as you know achievements will come along the way.

However you cannot just wait for things to happen. You will be pushed, threatened, taunted and even blackmailed by your bosses, co-workers, spouses and relatives to go for it! After all, your youth won’t last forever and maybe is already fading away…

Patience is good, it helps with health and it helps you to reach those goals you want to get, but it is not enough. No virtue or value is enough, they all need a partner. In the case of patience, its partner is perseverance that will help you to not accommodate to the situation but break reality and start your own change process.

OK, if you leave patience aside, you will be hurt as you will succumb to others’ and yours own desires, instead of waiting for the right season when fruit will be ripe. But if you don’t engage patience with perseverance you will live a very dull and boring life, and it is quite possible many of the things you are expecting won’t happen. After all, it is not only sowing seeds, you have to water and take care of whatever you have sown too.

Just perseverance without patience… Well, your life will be a big adventure, but you will probably miss some opportunities to just relax and flow with the flow.

At the end of this wonderful journey we all live, the most important thing will be the sense of balance. Life is all about balance… So, go and start it right now. Patiently…

Hey, you are on stage!

Many years ago, a famous Brazilian actress stumbled upon a rug during a play. Without losing her style, she looked at her uncle, performed by another famous actor, and said: Uncle, I have told you many times to be careful about this rug!

It was an improvised and brilliant moment. For us, who are also actors on this world stage as Shakespeare used to say, many times the rug is not where it was supposed to be. But, different than that actress, we often react badly to unexpected challenges.

This awareness can be helpful, that we are all actors and we are on stage, all the time. That will make us take every step with care, love, compassion and energy.

Whether we are with our family or in our workplace, we will be conscious that any thing we say will be recorded by their powerful minds and memories, and that will shape their relationship with us. Any error we do will be seen, heard and felt.

Hummm... Ok, that can take you to a very paranoid stage of mind. It requires some balance by using your private moments in a very worthwhile way. Even when you are just having fun, remind yourself that will help you to make better decisions or it will strengthen the bond within your family. A hero is always a hero, but relaxing, enjoying and being yourself is extremely important.

So, check your lines for today. These are some questions that can help you:

• How prepared am I to face this situation? Which kind of training, coaching or resources do I need for that?
• What will be my attitude when I meet a person? How do I want to express my feelings and needs to them?
• If anything happens outside my schedule, something I am not prepared for, how will I deal with it? If I realize I couldn't deal, what should I do, during and after the situation?
• How do I want to feel at the end of this day? How to reach to that point?

Ready for an Oscar award from life? It is waiting for you...

The power in a smile

Many of the less tangible acts of a human being have more effect than visible gross actions. That is the case of a smile.

If you want to understand its impact, just imagine for a moment a shop where its salespeople NEVER smile. Compare its sales with another similar shop, but where its salespeople are normally smiling. No need to say the last will have better results in their tasks.

Why? What is in a smile that makes things different?

There would be many points of view to respond to that, but we could just say there are four things we can learn about the power in a smile. Four things we can replicate in our lives, in other areas besides smiling.

1. It is born from within. Smiles don't come from facial exercises. You cannot bully your face to smile! It has to come from inside, from a deep perception of the world around you. It is a decision that changes your perspective.
2. It only works if it is genuine. The former point means that if you don't feel, you won't smile. Or at least your smile won't have the same power. Authenticity is the key.
3. Smiling keeps your balance. Human balance comes from a constant need to recover. Even when we walk, our balance comes after we have one foot only on the floor... When you smile, you send a message to yourself saying "everything is alright". Then, you start to work things out so they do become OK.
4. Winning others' hearts. When you smile, you generate a different energy. You tell others your doors are open for them and you invite them to your life. Smiles are a must if you need to create, sustain or heal a relationship.

So, what are you waiting for? Just smile...

Balance between being serious and having humor

Let's face it; probably the Friends theme song has it clear: always stuck in second gear... OK, not always, but a good amount of our time on this planet passes by trying to solve a problem, recovering from a situation or preparing the self for something that is coming.

Reality makes us crying and laughing at alternative times. But there is a secret behind: even the worse problems exist to make us all better.

This is why it is important to live life fully, without complaints or regrets, just enjoying whatever is coming. After all, everything turns to be good...

How to do it? Here is a trick that can help many people. Just use humor more and more.

It is true many times we have to be serious and solve situations with a sober mind. It is true we have to solve situations without a smile. It is true sometimes we have to be very stern with other people.

But it is also true most of the times we can make a joke. It is true we can smile even in front of tragedies, knowing we are strong enough to tolerate them. It is true we can use humor to deflect sadness; after all, being sad does not help to solve anything.

A balance between both will help us to overcome all obstacles that come on our way.

Time and success

Recently, a few lists have emerged of young people who got to be successful. By reading it, I just wondered how many are really prepared...

First of all, most of the successful people were such due to some financial attainments. Success is however a feature where harmony, happiness and peace, among other qualities, are experienced in a constant way; what about their state of mind or their family relationships? That was not taken in account.

In reality, success needs time to come to our lives, just like a fruit from a tree. In Hindi, the words have something to do with each other: success is safalta, and fruit is fal...

Yes, to reach that point of success - total, global, true success - you do need to seed right seeds. You also need to take care of the soil, sun and water, and lots of patience because even when the fruit is emerging, you still need that fruit to reach maturity. If the tree is fruitful, not only one fruit will emerge and many other people can benefit from it. Then, you sow it again...

That success as soon as you start to experience becomes an unending cycle and that is another sign of success: you don't experience it once. Maybe you can have your "peaks and valleys", but when you reach the real success your life turns into an ascending line.

How to do it? How to reach to that point of success when you feel you are on eternal holydays and yet, producing in an effective way? A few tips:

• Understand the real meaning of success. This will help you to identify it.
• Whenever you go through a "peak", that is, you feel success in some task or activity; reinvest that energy into your life. For instance, if you get a promotion in your work, use that money for more training instead of buying that new cellular phone you want, and share your experience with other people so that 
• Whenever you go through a "valley", that is, you fail in something, use that as a step towards success. For instance, check what happened and train yourself so you don't repeat the failure.
• Be honest with yourself and don't let yourself to be deceived by limited successful events.
• Meditation is very useful. It will help you to develop honesty, patience and perseverance, without which you cannot reach success.
• Value your time by making it worthwhile.
• Balance your life and especially provide yourself some reflection time.

I wish you an excellent journey on your way towards success.

The ability to relate to others

Many years ago, I had a general manager who was simply perfect. He used to come for work with a perfect suit; he used to have a perfect job, and even a perfect family. Only one thing used to tarnish that perfection: he was the worst when dealing with people. After I left the company, I kept tabs on him for some time as I was curious to know his career. So, even though I have left the country, I learned on how he was unable to keep a position for a long time and the complaint was the same: he didn't know how to deal with people.

All his diplomas, all that capacity and talent were not enough to secure him a good position in a good company. He did not know how to negotiate with his employees, he did not know how to deal with bad performance and, worse, he was unable to deal with his own emotions in those cases, when all the façade used to scramble and show a person with no manners, no elegance, and no perfection.

This is probably the mother of all skills. Daniel Goleman was the one who has shown it, giving a fancy name: Emotional Intelligence. Yes, EI is not only relating to others, but it comes only when you have EI.

If you have it, you probably can skip this post, but I guess most of us want to develop it even further. After all, there are many new challenges related to people around you...

• The basic principle behind EI is to understand your own emotions. In other words, the first thing you have to do to relate to others is to relate to yourself better. If you get frustrated with yourself for not getting up at the time you need or not following that diet, then it will be even harder to not get frustrated when someone from your team makes a mistake. Breath, talk to yourself, have a time for reflection, contemplation or meditation, and enjoy your potentials much more than your mistakes.
• Learn to differentiate your emotions in relation to the situation, and the situation itself. If someone from your team has made a mistake that earned a bad mark to your team, which will make future budget negotiations difficult, remember that you can only solve this by not getting into emotion. Talk to the person, talk to your team, and if you need, vent some of the thoughts you are having in your mind, but keep the focus on the solution. A nice trick is turning the mistake into a lesson for the future.
• Be balanced in relation to others. In human relationships, there are no blacks and whites, all are a series of gray tones... At some situations with someone, you have to be merciful and forgiving; at other situations with the same person, you have to push so things happen. Be tuned to the other's need and the need of the moment, and act based on that.
• The last thing is related to a nice tale I've read many years ago, talking about a prince who needs to listen to the inaudible sounds in order to be a king. Reality is: people expresses probably half of what they feel, sometimes even less. So, you need to see their body language and the vibration they are sending, so that you really know what is going on with that person. And take action, which can be talking to him, or just sitting beside her and give your presence.

When you are a master of that skill, then you will realize how wonderful is to deal with people in a positive and powerful way. But this skill is so deep that you will get into that more for the next posts.


* For the article that has inspired this post, click here.

Thinking...

Do you know the feeling when you feel something is "after" you? For instance, a book?

That happened to me: I kept on seeing this book. Its white cover, very simple design appealed to me. Its thickeness did not appeal to me. But after seeing it about, what, four times in different cities in the world, I decided to take it.

I am sure its long writing will make my process to read it pretty slow, but I am starting to get benefit from it. Thinking, Fast and Slow, by Daniel Kahneman is more than a book, it is a manual for living. Click here for a review which looks like a small summary.

It contains many points and ideas that explained to me several things, and I am in the first chapters. But, beyond that, there is this person who wrote (or co-wrote) this whole magnificient book on how humans think.

2002 was a great year for him, as he got a Nobel Prize in Economics, even so he himself is a psychologist... After purchasing it and reading it is that I realised one of the big reasons for me to admire, appreciate or study and research someone else's book was there: he overcame a limit.

If you read The Economist, you will realise the economists are a different kind within the human species - even though it is a magazine, they call it a newspaper... Well, the same applies for ITC engineers or taxi-drivers, I know, but I just wondered how is it that a person with an inclination for the subtle aspects of mind could be attracted to numbers, so much, that they gave him a Nobel Prize.

Kahneman, whom I don't have the pleasure to haver personally met, is one of those rare people who are able to use both capacities, the intuition and logic, the human view and the stadistical approach.

Most of people are used to live in just one half of his or her potential, spending their lives by thinking the world is a rose garden or a bunch of numbers. It is wonderful to see someone who sees the world as a rose garden AND a bunch of numbers, depending on the moment, integrating both possibilities.

That is the depth of thinking, when you are able to not be restrained, not even by your own tendencies, so that you can see beyond the present horizons. Because it is only then that you can really understand and assimilate a situation fully. How to do it?

For Kahneman, his story is told in the link I've shared before. For myself, whom I like to think I am a balanced guy even though I am still in the process, it was meditation and a spiritual life that enabled me to see the rose garden without leaving the bunch of numbers behind.

What about you?

While looking for balance in life, what you are really looking for is basically the experience of five things. You can call them feelings or emotions. They are basic qualities all human beings look for and here we will be talking about this wonderful idea Brian Bacon had on how to get them.

Which qualities? Satisfaction, Comfort, Contentment, Fulfilment and Bliss.

When you meet that point where your career correspond to your own passion, you are able to satisfy your life completely. That means, you will take so much joy from that work that you will feel it is really worth to wake up, get up and do that everyday. On the other hand, you can do well in a job without passion, but you will always want to have more of something else, that is, your passion will take you, or try to take you, somewhere else.

The feeling of comfort in the heart and mind comes when your career allows you to do charity too. That is the case of many consultants and coaches that I know, who use their jobs to help the world somehow. It is true; you do feel a kind of "I am really helping these people". If you just work and earn money, without using that for others in an altruistic way, that feeling won't come and you will be restless. If you do charity to others, but that charity does not help you in other areas of life, you will be disheartened at some point.

Beyond satisfaction there is contentment, the feeling that you don't need anything else, you just are! That comes when your acts of charity meet your vocation... That is much more than comfort, it is a supreme feeling that you are doing something important for the world. You have found your own truth in life. If you know your vocation but you don't apply that in charity, then you will do well, but you will feel you are still looking for something.

Beyond contentment, you have fulfilment in life - that is, you are in the right place doing the right things with the right heart and mind. This comes when your vocation and passion meet on the way. All of us have a call, but few of us have the passion for that, enough energy that enables us to break all bondages and do what we are really supposed to do.

Then, when you have the experience of all of that, you reach bliss in life. That is balance, when you are always smiling, your mind is always positive and your actions are constantly meaningful.

This is for your thoughts. Take care.

Four main factors in life

Life is a long, very long quest. But, one day, the quest is over and you will find the reason for your life here.

Finding does not mean it is over, but at least you have an idea on what to do. From that point, you will have to go deeper and deeper, broader and broader, higher and higher.

I personally feel it is very important to understand four of the main factors that move life: Passion, Vocation, Charity and Career. According to Brian Bacon, those will take you to the experience of balance in life.

• Passion - when you love something and know how to do it well, there is passion in the way you do, move, talk and think about whatever it is. Passion is the fire that allows you to tap your energy and go beyond the limitations at the time of doing something.
• Vocation - when what you love matches the needs of the world, that is the point for your own call. We live in a time when people work because they must not because they like. Sometimes it is important to talk to yourself and check what is your real vocation, and follow that call in your life; if Passion is fire, Vocation is the pipe that focus Passion.
• Charity - as a human, you need to give something without reward. That can be called altruism, and according to each one's values it will show in a different way. Charity comes when your talents and skills, those the world would pay for it, meet the needs of that world. When that happens, it is not that you are doing something for free, rather than that you are fulfilling your own destiny and purpose in life.
• Career - as a human, you need to give something and receive its reward. It is important to receive the fruit of the seeds you have sown, because no human is completely altruist. The right recipe for a good and successful career is based on understanding what you do well and match that with what the world will pay for.

Just remember balance comes from all those four. If you are a very charitable person, but your career is a failure, or you are satisfying your passion but avoiding your call, then you won't experience integral success.

Think about this very deeply.

We will finish this topic on our next post.

Balance in life

By Brian Bacon, the bliss of balance

Do you agree with this idea?

Brian is a good friend of many years, he is the founder of Oxford Leadership Academy, a company to which I am linked (and doing my best to start it in Colombia).

Take a look and think about it. See you next post.

About coming back to work

As I said in a former post, this blog was designed because of my lack of proper work. Something happened in my life, and companies were not calling me for help. In fact, they were not calling me for anything, really.

I really had the opportunity, the golden chance of learning that having a job is more than working, and that is the reason of this blog.

Now, work is coming back. Slowly, but steady, I am being called by many companies to help them. They are still small projects, but for me they are BIG, because they are a direct fruit of a long work on my own self.

Then, I see other issues emerging, and I feel it is good to revise them, turning them in valuable lessons others can be benefitted:

• The need of having humility and high self-esteem. Working with spirituality, I always know and talk about to have the balance between these two qualities, but I have been faced with them a lot. After all, you cannot tell others something you are not doing, but you have to value your conquests and ideas, as they are your real wealth. As a consultant, one of the techniques is to share examples, and sometimes you think your examples are good, when they are not. But at other times, your example will be the perfect one for the situation, be ready to know the difference.
• The need of researching and studying. One of the opportunities I've got was to deliver a course that I did not do for at least TEN YEARS! It evolved, and I realised (unfortunately, during the same course) that I should study more and research more. One of my mistakes would be too embarrassing, if it was not noticed by a good friend, who did not push.
• Focus, more focus. During my time without job, I generated around 10 areas of work. But, as I am performing again, to keep up with 10 areas of work is not easy, and it would be stressing in the long term. With the help of a coach, I was able to group those 10 areas in... well, 7 areas... As you see, I am still working on that focus.
• CLEAR AIM. I've put myself an immediate aim - 10 days of work! And that is what I have got. So, I have to clear my aim a little bit, remind myself the year has 365 days and my life won't finish on 2012, no matter what fake Mayans are saying. So, don't talk about such a short aim, rather than that plan it better.
• Don't lose courage. When I am working, I feel sometimes a little "rusty". Courage is needed to keep on doing, to just keep on performing and little by little rust will fade away eventually and you will see your optimum performance coming back.
• Don't be afraid of checking yourself. It is harsh. That course with my friend... my God, he was calling me apart, telling me what was wrong with me, with no mercy. And that was wonderful. You do need to check yourself, or being checked by someone else, so that you can improve.

Take care and keep on moving.

I am Harry Potter

Literature has given us many heroes whose deeds are not as heroic as themselves. You can remember Ishmael from Moby-Dick or even Joshua from the Bible - they were loved because they were different from others.

They dared to be different and in their own way, they became leaders, kind of heroes. Not as someone who frees a country or who saves lives, but more like people who overcame deep inner challenges.

Nowadays, when everyone tries to be similar to the next, Harry Potter emerged as a different paradigm. And he conquered the world, there is no doubt about that. His magic was to "touch a nerve" and make the character, who was refused by his own people, become a heroe.

At some point of J.K.Rowling's books, Harry mentions that he never intended to do something to be a heroe, it just happened like that. The reason is simple: when you are different, you tend to be a heroe everytime.

The world is still not ready for different people and it tries constantly to make others to be like the main stream. Harry Potter showed a kind of path for those of us who are different, who are leaders, to-be or de facto.

The first thing was to give himself a chance, when the opportunity emerged. As soon as he knew he was a wizard, even though that could be the most absurd thing in the world, he accepted the opportunity, with all the risks envolved.

Second, balance emotions and reason - this is a constant in the life of this modern hero. Balance is a key for success and failures come due to its lack. Listen to the heart, but also to the head.

Third, life is a big and interesting school! Whoever has read those books started to wonder why was that schools cannot be that fun. In fact, our own lives happen in a huge school and each step is incredible, it is a powerful lesson.

Fourth, magic is ALWAYS the solution. For those of us who are leaders, different from the rest, rules are not so strict, especially concerning to how to get success. We rely a lot on pure "magic" - not the wand-kind of magic, but the one that emerges from talent and energy.

Fifth, last and you can complement if you want, no matter what, you have to stick to your vision, objectives and aim. That is a big challenge, but leaders cannot afford to wander from their destination, even though sacrifices are high!

And let's not forget that Harry Potter, because of all of that, received constant help until the end.

Take care.