How do we manage reality? Besides the physiological side ( the way the brain deals with things), a friend of mine once expressed his point of view and it was very interesting: think as if you have a copy of the external things in your mind and when you relate to them, you are doing it with that copy, not with the reality.
Therefore the
problems we experience in terms of dealing with situations come from the
difference between the real and the copy. An example:
A friend of mine
wanted a bike to go to work; eventually he got it, but the real one didn’t work
as he was living about 15 Km far plus the traffic… the end of that dream was an
accident he suffered.
The bike to go to work was a copy and the 15 Km far plus the traffic was the reality that crushed his dreams.
Now, what
happens when there is a new reality? Particularly when the reality is totally new, we
come with a similar copy in our minds,
an approximate reference, and we relate to it. It comes from (ours and others’)
opinions, ideas and past experiences, beliefs and values, personality, will and
a personal call. But it is very different from the reality itself, probably much more different than the example before…
Let’s imagine there is
a big sale of bicycles in a huge store. Immediately, a person sees themselves already
mounting a very modern shine bike. They go to the shop and there is a huge
queue in front and when eventually they reach the place where to get the
bicycle, the only thing remaining is not modern, not at all shining…
Another way
is to not let yourself be convinced by the copy
you carry in your mind. Instead you challenge your perception and you are
able to align the copy with the real thing.
Instead of let
yourself being fooled by the sale of bicycles, you research more and you are
able to find the perfect bike – as perfect as possible – at some shop. You are
aware it is not exactly what you wanted, but the price is good and for now,
that will be it.
It is not
as easy as it sounds, since it means you have to challenge opinions, ideas,
past experiences, beliefs, values, personality, your will and call… But you can
do it.
Particularly
with the new reality we are all living, the best thing is to stop for a moment
and align the inner copy with the reality. A few powerful questions may
help you:
- Why am I feeling like this? What is the real cause?
- If I don’t like something, what is it possible to get that comes closer to what I like? What should I do to make it happen?
- When it is impossible to live with the reality, what can I do to cope with it? If I can’t cope, what is the alternative I can live, so that I don’t suffer?
