The Effect of Motivation When It Comes from Within

 

Motivation can come from the outside, but the truth is: one day it fades. When that happens, both our performance and our life can take a hit.

But motivation can also come from inside. From within the self - and that kind isn’t at the mercy of external factors.

Take this example: you’ve got a big project ahead. It demands long hours and a lot of effort. At first, your external motivation is high: the challenge excites you (it’s something new), you’re working with a solid team, and the pay is great (four months’ salary in one go!).

Then reality sets in: the challenge stops being new as even the most exciting project eventually slips into routine; that team you praised? turns out those people are a pain, arrogant and difficult, and to top it off, you discover your sister-in-law is making 30% more at the same company for a similar work. Just like that, your external motivation evaporates.

Now let’s flip the lens. Same project, but with a different type of motivation, an internal motivation. You see it as an opportunity to train and to grow your skills, strengthen patience and determination and reinforce self-esteem. By the end, you have become better, regardless of the pay, the novelty or the people. These inner drivers don’t just vanish - though they do need to be cultivated.

In times like these, any kind of motivation helps. But it’s good to remember: we don’t always need to look outside to stay motivated.

 

This is the first post in a series about motivation - starting from within.

Does the year really change?

 

What is change, really? It means something is different than before.

A river changes its course or composition, a tree grows, animals go through the cycle of life, and humans…

We, humans…?

With humans, things are more complex. We could say we change according to our age or our career. It can be that our change was just esthetical or ethical, we change our perception about other people or even an experience of past.

Then we come to the change of the year… We all know the year does not really change; it is just a perception or a system invented by us. In fact, the Chinese New Year, is a few weeks later and a big part of humankind will celebrate THAT New Year, not the December, 31^st one…

It means that although the year does not change and nothing changes with the year, it changes… in our minds.

And there are 3 things to explore and have a better change of year:

• The new year is a big opportunity. The things you couldn’t do before, the things you dream and those you don’t dream, all can happen this year.
• Training and education. To make those opportunities real there is a need in terms of training. The change curve is quite steep nowadays for anything, even the harmless objects at home, particularly with AI’s invading the day-to-day life. So, understand the opportunities being opened with this new year and what qualities or competencies you will need to harvest them, and plan your education process.
• Resources… Yes, you will need resources to really take advantage of anything emerging with the new year. Besides the physical wealth that will help to get a proper education, there are also intangible resources, such as peace, courage and enthusiasm. Words of wisdom from a close friend or relative and the millions of videos, books, lectures, workshops, seminars, etc. that promote wellness or self-improvement, work like gold too.

This new year, identify the opportunities and dreams you want to fulfill and live, educate and train yourself to achieve them, and trust the invisible resources within you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Curiosity or exploration?

Okay, so, let's talk about this whole curiosity issue. You know the old saying, that is present in the languages I know: curiosity killed the cat. Well, maybe it's time to rethink that for humans.

I've always been a curious person – it's like a feature for a Capricornian that a few people know. But then I had this chat with a friend who straight-up called curiosity a sin. Whoa! That got me thinking.

There's this cool quote I found that perfectly captures the essence of curiosity for a person of this sign: They possess an inherent sense of wonder, always seeking knowledge to unravel the mysteries of life. My friend is also a Capricornian, so maybe it's more of a sign characteristic than a general curiosity trait, but I like to reframe curiosity with a bit of seeking.

After all, curiosity can lead us down some rabbit holes, those times when you dive into something without thinking it through. It is not always the best idea and it's like exploring a new neighborhood without checking if it's safe first, a new scientific experiment without protective masks or getting into a discussion with no knowledge on the subject.

Exploration, on the other hand, is all about focus, similar to setting out on a journey with a map and a compass. You're curious, sure, but you're also strategic. It's about learning, growing, and discovering, not just jumping headfirst into the unknown.

So, next time you want to be curious, remember that curiosity may be the starting point, but exploration is the real journey. And it requires preparation, investigation, training and willpower.

And going back to the saying, I think we could make this up: exploration revitalize the soul.

The power of imagination: did you see the yellow cat?

A little girl was just walking on the street; all of a sudden, she stopped and started to look across. She was staring to a point on the wall.

Her father asked her: “What do you see, honey?” The mother looked a little exasperated, since her child was used to see things that were not there.

Smiling, she looked at her parents and said: “I am looking at the yellow cat!”

The mother laughed, that kind of cruel laughter when someone says something stupid. Even her innocent child could perceive it…

“It is there, mom, it is there!”

 

Scenes like this one were very common in the past, but not so much nowadays. Today, the father would join the mother in explaining there is no yellow cat…

We are underestimating the power of imagination, the wonderful door that opens in our mind to see what is not there.

Imagination is around us. EVERYWHERE!

At least its fruit: buildings and bridges, machines and an incredible software that enables you to read this, no matter where you live, and much, much more…

All of these things, many of them we take for granted, they were just like the yellow cat in the past.

They didn’t exist.

 

Many years later, the girl is now a woman, who cultivates her dreams and projects very well. She has been relatively successful and very happy with her life.

Particularly today, when an old dream will become a reality…

 

Imagination changes into dreams later in life, when we start to understand our role in this universe, in our society and community. Those dreams can be, in the hands of imagination, incredible engines to make us to move on the road of existence.

There are two powerful tools that convert imagination into a dream:

• Reflection. By reflecting, the individual realizes what is going on and they are able to land the imaginative scenario taking place inside their head in the living reality.
• Visualization. It is basically imagination, but with a focus and it comes often as a result of a few questions a person asks the self: How is this going to happen? When is this going to happen? What should I do to make it happen?

 

She still remembers the scene of her childhood: one parent’s support and another parent’s… sniggering… But she is not a child anymore.

She is a woman who is standing in front to that wall, in which she saw the yellow cat. She is not cross the street, she is exactly on that spot and she is surrounded by her team, which will make her dream coming true.

The yellow cat is going to be alive!

 

Someone said that if we want to live what we dream, we need to stop sleeping, that is, we must change our imagination into reality.

By reflecting or visualizing, you were able to have a vision of what we want; now we must build it, and…

… Of course, it is more complicated, but there are 3 basic things:

1. Willpower. That is the push that will turn our dreams into a living reality.
2. Resources. It is the fuel for that transformation.
3. Capacity. We will need knowledge of many things, talents and skills.

And then, at last, imagination will walk on the streets…

 

They just finished their job and here it is: The Yellow Cat.

A restaurant that will change people’s lives. She has more dreams about the restaurant, but right now she is just mesmerized by what she sees.

A huge yellow cat licking the window of her restaurant, just under its name!

 

Final remarks:

• Remember that failure and defeat are lessons, they will increase your capacity.
• It is always possible that your dreams don’t come true; learn from them and help others to make their dreams come true.
• Surround yourself with positivity, but embrace others’ critique.
• Meditation is a perfect way to improve your visualization tool.
• Dialogue is key and emotional intelligence will be very helpful.
• Nobody can make their dreams come true by themselves…
• When you get success, share it with others by helping them somehow.

How to REALLY get success?

Success is a slippery thing, but it is attainable and there are plenty of people out there to help you getting it.

Here are four things that will definitely make you reach a high point in your life, a definition of success:

• Preparation. Many years ago, I listened to this question, which has helped me for many years: if everything you have gone through has been a training, what have you trained for? Success is the fruit, it is the result of all we have done and by recognizing what we really have done, we would understand the depth of our own success. Yes, right now, you and I are preparing ourselves for a big event in our lives, the moment in which success turns into reality.
• Perseverance. Many things I am doing right now are not successful, but I don’t consider them as failure; for me, they are part of a process and there is always some benefit for me and others. Success is like a fruit, but it has to be taken care until it is ready for ripening; most of the things a normal person does are normal and success is the final result, the extraordinary fruit that comes from a very regular ordinary seed. Instead of giving up after failing, to get success try take one more step or change the way you do things.
• Strategy and tactics. We often realize the need to change something when there is no force and no energy to do it. Then they come; by thinking in a strategic way, like a chess player, an individual can foresee future threats and empower themselves to face them, or future opportunities for which they need training. A good strategist will be humble enough to accept their mistakes and weaknesses, while keeping a good self-esteem, by acknowledging their strengthens and powers. But, be careful, because too much strategy can take you into a state of paralysis. Implement the decisions, by design tactics and methods. The victory is just ahead!
• Keep swimming. A very wise yogi told a group of us that to get success, just keep moving ahead. Don’t stop, just walk forward… It seems a little simplistic, but many times, that is the best tactic. Success will come to those who never stop trying. Try, do it, don’t stop, just keep swimming in the ocean of possibilities the world is.

Living among lambs

There are people who are like lambs: calm, quiet, tender and without much initiative…

If you are one of those lambs, sorry, but a bit of initiative does a lot for a person’s personal growth and the service of others.

To take initiative or proactivity is an essential quality to live in a very chaotic world in which leadership is missing, a lot! If you don’t have it well developed you will be either waiting for some miracle to happen, trying to avoid situations or complaining about them.

My question would be: how to keep all qualities, but add proactivity? After all, it is wonderful to be a person who cares about others, who don’t get upset and who is always smiling.

If you feel you are a lamb, these are a few things you could be to improve your proactivity:

• Take some time to understand your specialties, those things in which you are EXCELLENT. You always have at least one, it is time to value it more.
• Refocus your life in such a way you can use more and more your specialties.
• When you are facing a situation and you are not confident, remember the best of yourself: your qualities or inner powers. This exercise will help you to experience self-esteem.
• When you are not an expert and you cannot take initiative, help in some other way; remember the experts often are under lots of pressure and there are many things you can do to help them.
• If you are REALLY feeling scared, remember moments in your life when you experienced fearlessness or courage; by doing it, you will invoke those qualities and the fear will diminish.
• It is SO IMPORTANT to not deny your own fears; embrace them and work within to manage those unease feelings.
• Train yourself. The more you are qualified, the more you will feel capable and so it will be very easy to take initiative.

The art of trusting the self

Do you really want to change things? Really?

You do know you can’t, right? Remember when you tried that summer? It didn’t work! You can’t change things, they are what they are!!!

 

This is an inner dialogue performed inside our mind so many times that for many of us, self-confidence in relation to promote changes is very slippery.

And yet, if you really want to have a wonderful year – you do want that, right? – self-confidence is the most important thing to develop, probably before anything else and there is a particular reason for it.

Self-confidence enables you to trust your decisions and to perform well even when your actions are against odds. Particularly when you are in a change process generated by yourself, it is very easy to fall back to the comfort zone or to copy other people, and either of these options may make your change process fails.

 

So, let’s talk about how to overcome the wonderful temptation of our comfort zone…

It is really not that comfortable, but it gives a false sense of security and stability since even bad things are known and you learn how to bear. Breaking out the comfort zone means to go out in the wild and maybe it will not be a pleasant experience; but it could be wonderful.

The trick to overcome the attraction is to increase the personal capacity; in this way, you feel confidence you can go out there and be successful. Think: what could you be doing differently if you really believe in yourself?

This post is part of a series for a better year. Good luck!

 

A basic instinct whilst changing is to try and copy other people who have gone through a similar process and there is nothing wrong about it, after all if somebody was able to make things work, why can’t you just go and replicate their development?

This brings me a memory from my school: two guys tried to get top marks by copying every movement of the most intelligent guy there, including going to sleep early… I guess I don’t need to tell you their experiment failed miserably.

You cannot really copy others, because you are very different, but you can take ideas, be inspired and motivated by someone else’s success, you can even duplicate their effort. Remember that you are what you are, however you can adapt their success into your life.

In this case, the best thing is to talk with those people or to try and see what works with you, discarding whatever is not working and improving whatever you can improve.

 

You are the leader of yourself, who is generating a change that will impact many others. Good luck!

This post is part of a series for a better year...

From disempowerment to empowerment

I have been working on the topic of empowerment for many years, since I realized the importance of power in life: that’s what we have that comes from within and helps us to defeat obstacles, to reinvent ourselves and to attain success.

However, I have noticed that there has been a decrement in the awareness of power; I would dare to say we are reaching very high levels of global disempowerment. How to turn this around? I would like to explore three of the present paradigms that show disempowerment and how to change that:

• Aloneness and short-term relationships. People are either choosing to live by themselves or they have relationships that last very little time, creating a unique situation for the family-based societies, governments, the economy and many other levels.
• The deep dissatisfaction, from citizens to government officers. In the past, this was a common trace of a dictatorial government, but nowadays even very well consolidated democracies are facing this, which may be considered a worldwide movement.
• The fake media. Instead of a media that covers matters and subjects into their depth, the social network has opened the doors to all kind of information and news are often short and inaccurate, generating the chance for fake news and deepfakes.

Why does this indicate the growing disempowerment and how to reverse this trend?

First of all, the main reason people are alone is not that they don’t need others because they are so satisfied and fulfilled; reality is there is not enough strength to try and live with other people, by accommodating to others’ way of living. One way of solving it is to invest time in developing more assertiveness and dialogue techniques, which will help in creating new bridges between people.

That dissatisfaction also reaches the social level, which used to happen in non-democratic countries and people of democratic countries used to point and say well, that’s the result of dictatorship. By happening in a democracy, it shows people’s disempowerment as the big irony is that people are marching and protesting against people they themselves have put in that position... The empowerment in terms of citizenship comes from developing better criteria to use at time of election and to know more about the government and social structure, so learning ways of promoting change in a more effective way.

Last but not the least, information has always had a deep impact in our mindset and good powerful information helps us to feel more empowered. Let’s add to that truthful; if the news is not real, the effect tends to be the opposite, particularly when facts come out and the person realizes they believed in something false, losing self-confidence. On one hand, control the news that come to you and don’t believe in them just like that; on the other hand, prioritize more in relation to which information is relevant to you, and focus on that, leaving other pieces of data aside.

First world, is that hard?

I was born in Brazil, I have lived in Chile for two years and I am in Colombia for the past 26 years. I also travel a lot and I have stayed long times abroad, particularly in India, but also in England and the U.S.

And I realize that if someone lives in a first-world or third-world country is difficult to understand I don’t live in either of them… I am living in the middle, and since I was a child.

Particularly during the dictatorial military period in Brazil, I didn’t like the idea of belonging to the third world, the reality of the time; it was around then that the term developing countries[1] got popularized and Brazil was quickly classified like that.

Initially it just sound like a polite way to say the same – and it still has that ring in it – but along the years, what I have seen is that by developing in a proper and integral way, a country can reach the first world. That is a firm belief I have that any country could be a first world country, and so giving their population a better life. This is why I am posting this.

I lived in Chile just after Pinochet has left, so it was still underdeveloped. By seeing its growth and the fact that now it is part of the first world club[2]… I don’t want to get into the debate (is it or not?), but I have seen sure signs even when I was living there that may be useful for other countries:

• A respect for taxes. I was really surprised when I bought something in the streets and I got a boleta (invoice), as street business is often informal. Later, I would have a glimpse of this that comes from a good use of tax-payers’ money and a nice system. For instance, a common way of taxes evasion is to enter the country with a product in the bag. Once, I went from Buenos Aires to Santiago with a friend who had several books in her bag; at the time of customs, she went straight to the agent and showed the books and the invoice. As books don’t pay tax, he just looked at it and he allowed us to go. Even when there is the need of paying, it is quite easy and fair. Quick summary: by educating people to value paying taxes and by using them in a proper way, a country develops.
• Training. There is a system that motivates companies to do training as the value can be discounted in their taxes declaration. As I was a trainer myself, that came very handy and I do miss a system like that, living in Colombia. By giving opportunities for others to be trained and learned different skills, a country develops.
• Awareness of opportunity. Chile is the land of opportunity and if a foreigner goes there and dedicates himself or herself, it is possible to climb very high; although I can’t say if it is like that for nationals, it looked as it is. Although it is a relatively small country in terms of population, this gives a big advantage in relation to neighbor countries. By changing the perception instead of lacking to an opportunity, a country has a better chance for development.
• Work, work and work. Chileans work very hard and it has been helping the country at the time of climbing the ladder of first world. But it is not only hard working, as I would include Colombians in that category too; Chileans are often very much success-driven, which creates a nice dynamic in the country in general. Stimulate work, but direct it towards attaining success.
• Little corruption. That is the most impressive part of living in Chile… Little to say about that, really, just check corruption indexes[3], and it comes just after Uruguay in the whole Latin America.  It really stimulates the economy to know people won’t use their power for personal advantage. And maybe that is why people do pay taxes. Very simple: educate people to not get tempted by corruption and the country will develop even more.

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[1] More about this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Developing_country

[2] Check this updated webpage: https://www.investopedia.com/updates/top-developing-countries/

[3] Transparency is an organization that watches on this. Check their report: https://www.transparency.org/cpi2018?gclid=Cj0KCQjwoebsBRCHARIsAC3JP0LljKEMfPQThn-eICRMPMfw1Ktqf-053RPAQsFHqbEIwQ194VfJZCwaAn1sEALw_wcB

Asking for help, a way to make others grow

An interesting feature I have seen in many leaders is the fact they ask for help whenever is needed. On the contrary, many people I have met whom I thought were leaders, judged themselves very independent and capable, and so they seldom asked for help; years later, my perception about their leadership changed considerably and I have been able to see them as good managers, far from real leadership.

Many reasons could be given for that, but a very simple one is the fact that by asking help, leaders are training others. This natural training is part of a long term education and it becomes fundamental in the other person’s growth and their own leadership, as a natural consequence of being led by a leader is that a person may be a leader one day.

In other words, whenever a person asks for help from others, they are giving them the opportunity to improve themselves and enhance their skills. It is also a way of checking how much of the leader’s influence has impacted that individual.

So, what is the difference between being dependent and give others a chance to grow? It is basically from the attitude of taking from others whatever they have, different than enabling others to work better.

A symbol of status

During a training I've went through in Barcelona, Spain, I was given a notebook. It did look like a very common one for me, nothing really special, until they started to use its brand as an example of status, or people wanting to take the course just because of it. Check about that in YouTube, where there are lots of examples of that specific brand.

I was surprised because not only I never heard about that (sorry for it!), but it really didn't look, well, a symbol of status for me. It is just a simple notebook, nothing really fancy or special.

I was reminded of old movies where they used to show tribes where to have status meant to have a bigger mouth, or a bigger piercing in your nose. Isn't it strange how we define status?

How much do you buy things just because they will give you status?

On the other hand, when you use something so much, and it is practical and useful, it is natural that becomes part of your life. Objects are there to help you to be a better man or woman, to help you to understand life in different ways.

When I realise fully the reason to use objects, then naturally I will become someone happier and greater. In fact, I will get a status nothing else could granted me.

As a coach, I help people to feel great!