Stillness

 

Problems and a crisis, obstacles and barriers, situations and negative circumstances… You may react, you can try to solve them, but there is one important thing to do.

Be calm…

You can sit down or walk, or run. You can talk with other people or just be alone. You can meditate reflect or contemplate. You can do all of these…

Be calm…

Peace is within. Tranquility is all around. Chaos and noise are surrounding you. Only…

Be calm…

When your business is not going well and your relationship is in problem, you may want to do something. Either you do or not…

Be calm…

Don’t stop looking for a solution. Don’t stop planning for the better life you deserve. Just…

Be calm…

Remember those you love. Remember those who love you.

Be calm…

And be gentle with yourself… Everything will be alright.

When your health makes you anxious

Some time ago, I posted about anxiety and someone sent me an interesting article*; even though it is some type of publicity, and I don’t do publicity, it was a different dimension of anxiety that I didn’t know: when you have a health problem and you are waiting for a diagnostic.

Many years ago, I had a friend how was diagnosed with cancer, which he beat. He was so happy, he called me from the other side of the world to tell me the good news. And then, he started to have some problems again and I remember his anxiety, waiting for the response from doctors. It was not good news, but maybe the anxiety itself was the worst.

In his very influential book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman talks about his own experience when he was sent for a lab to do a test. Because of his background, he knew it could mean cancer… He analysed about the emotions he felt.

A study of patients in physicians' waiting rooms found that each had an average of three or more questions in mind to ask the physician they were about to see. But when the patients left the physician's office, an average of only one and a half of those questions had been answered. This finding speaks to one of the many ways patients' emotional needs are unmet by today's medicine. Unanswered questions feed uncertainty, fear, catastrophizing.

The focus of Daniel Goleman was about a change in the medical people’s attitude, but I think there are a few things we could do to minimize the anxiety that comes when there is something wrong with our body or mind, but there is no clarity about a diagnosis.

1. The first thing is to keep calm. Easy said than done, but meditation and other practices can help.
2. Stick to the facts, don’t overthink or try to be your own clairvoyant. Just wait and see what happens.
3. Talk to very good POSITIVE friends. They will surround you with their positive aura and that will be healing. I had that experience with a lady, a friend’s sister, while she waited for her diagnosis; about 10 people were there in the room with her sharing nice stories and just giving her good company.
4. Read and feed yourself with positive information. Avoid a reading about your current problem as much as possible.
5. At the day of your diagnosis, act normally. Routine has power in these cases and it will help you to focus your mind on the present.

If you or other people have anxiety before a diagnosis, I hope this may help.

 

* About scanxiety - https://www.asbestos.com/blog/2021/07/29/mesothelioma-scans-scanxiety/

Keeping calm…

During the Second World War, a slogan was launched that helped citizens to move on with their lives, despite the hostilities: KEEP CALM and CARRY ON. It comprises two affirmations with different intentions and an incredible effect.

At times of crisis – and that is what we are living – that slogan would be probably very useful, after all calmness has a deep effect on the self by enabling the person to clear their minds and understand what is going on. Maybe a solution is not at hand, but with comprehension, the person can plan, adapt and live better.

Particularly if the crisis is very strong and it turns into chaos, it is possible there is no solution. During chaotic times, the only possibility someone has is to be their own leader, to trust their own capacities and to create a team with whoever is around. Again, calmness plays a definite part, relieving much of the stress and anxiety, empowering. Besides, who wants to be part of a team of people who are not calm, particularly during turmoil?

But, as you are reading this, I am almost sure you are not there yet and the crisis we are all living is not to be labeled chaos. So, this is the training time and you can do a few things:

• Experience silence several times during the day.
• Meditate or contemplate.
• At the beginning of the day, dedicate some time for the self and experience deep calmness.
• At the end of the day, make sure you pack everything up, by putting a full stop to all that happened.
• If you have problems with someone, try and fix the bond between you.
• Be kind to yourself and others.
• Walk in the nature.
• Listen to soft positive music.
• Avoid bad news, without evading responsibility.
• Just be yourself and give space so that others can be themselves too.
• Keep calm, carry on.

Calming down… there is a storm coming

When storms come, we tend to be dragged by them. After all, they are more powerful than us… or not?

We have created as a civilization, several means and tools to protect ourselves from this incredible force of nature and although our protection may not be perfect, it has good potential.

Now, what about the storms of life? Like a pandemic, a financial crisis, divorce, health issues, someone dear who just departed…

By using the same approach, there should be means and tools to protect ourselves from the effect of such storms, and one of them is very simple: just calm down.

Calmness has a deep effect in the mind, by creating a series of thoughts and constructive emotions that protect us from the worse effects of the storms we are going through, which will guide us and prevent harm.

Of course, it is not easy to be calm during the storm, but by practicing a lot, the accumulated calmness will work out pretty well during the worse stages of the crisis, coming up naturally.

How can you practice calmness? I meditate; other people go to hills or beaches, others prefer to be in silence for some time everyday, there are those who love to pray.

Although the means and tools will be different for each one, by generating a routine in which the experience of being calm is valued, even prioritized, the next time a big storm comes to your life, you will be prepared and probably, you will be able to offer shelter to others too.

Stress & Calm

I've been collecting studies, researches and opinions about the effect of stress at the workplace. It is amazing: people are not 100% sure about it.

In a very empiric way, it is obvious that a stressed person is less productive. However, there are also professions like firefighters or TV series directors seem to proof that theory is wrong and stress turns into their friend.

So, I can only talk about my own experience then...

My professional life started in a very ambiguous way and it is not something I am used to mention in my curriculum vitae. I started to work as an employee at the biggest bank at the time in Brazil. My shift went from 2 through 9 pm, and the stress was high. At that point, I didn't follow a meditation routine or even a spiritual life, and so I was suffering in my mind, body and emotions, going there, working like a donkey, going back to a very conflictive home and again next day all the same... Stress was very high; the main consequence was the mistakes I used to make, plus my co-worker-kind-of-boss' bad temper.

After a while, I retook my spiritual practice, and calmness took over me. Situations didn't change, on the contrary our responsibility was increasing (and my co-worker's bad temper too), but I felt much more relaxed and easy. Yes, at that point, I could not avoid the toll of the physical effort in my own body and I must admit I was often sick, but my mind at least was clear, which allowed me to change job and start a career.

My first benefit by embracing that calmness we all have inside was to strengthen my mind and in this way, to shield myself from the bad consequences coming from the environment. With stress, you are affected by all that is around you, physically, emotionally and mentally. Using meditation, at least I got to keep a strong mind and I start to help shaping the places I went to work.

It took me a few years to end the emotional and physical aspects of stress and reach a point today when I feel I am healthier than 20 years ago. And nowadays, besides meditation, my main medicine is silence and calmness.

We cannot avoid stress and its consequences without a proper moment or two when we focus ourselves in the self, in the moment and place where we are. With meditation and silence practices, gradually we can do it even though we are in the middle of very stressful situations.