Why values are fading and why we must rescue them

 

It’s easy to get lost in today’s fast-paced world. Traffic, economic stress and social media can make anyone forget what really matters. But maybe all this chaos has a deeper cause, something quieter and more dangerous: the slow death of values.

OK, kind of dramatic, but since many years I have been observing people stopped using values at the time of taking decisions. Yes, some code of ethics remained, but it was not something like values or principles, ingrained to a person’s compass.

And we rarely stop to reflect. We move, act, react… but seldom pause to ask questions such as:

What is guiding my decisions?

What is truly important to me?

What am I using as the main element in my personal compass?

This lack of reflection on our values may be contributing to the present situation, the way we live and even the identity crisis of younger generations, the disconnection in relationships and the weariness felt by so many. We’ve traded what really matters for what matters for the moment or what feels urgent…

So, let’s ask again: Why are values important?

I give you two answers:

• Values give life meaning. They help us face crises without losing our integrity. They help us build stronger families, organizations, and societies. And they remind us that it’s not just about surviving, but living with dignity, kindness and purpose.
• Values define our actions. They help us define which actions we should make at a certain moment, particularly when there are many possibilities. And so, they are a key part of our self-leadership.
• Values are part of our compass… OK, I was talking about two answers and this was touched before, but, please, understand it that values correspond to the south of our compass and they support in a definite way our vision of the future (north). Without values as a real part of our lives, we won’t be able, or at least it will be quite difficult, to build up a fulfilling future.

The world may not change overnight.

But we can talk about values again. And keep on talking about them…

And living them more…

The last plane…

The images of the Khwaja Rawash airport during the evacuation in Kabul, Afghanistan, are still present in the minds of many. A few of us had friends or relatives there, but for most people the sensation has come from an overwhelming feeling of sharing with our fellow human beings, which made many feeling as if they were the ones in despair, trying to be evacuated.

I hope all goes well for the people who got to flee the country, for those who stayed back and my peaceful vibrations for those who couldn’t and their families.

Reflecting upon it, many years later, I understand that without realizing, many of us are going to have a last plane in life, a moment of decision so brutal and critical that will split our lives in two or more timelines. After it, you won’t be the same person anymore.

Maybe it was your marriage – it does not need to be something bad.

Perhaps when your first child was born… or when they left you.

Out of this reflection, I ask myself 3 questions:

• What does it happen when the last plane is available? There is pain coming due to the attachment to all that can’t be anymore, but many positive emotions emerge at the same time. The best would be to focus on the positive and let that heal the pain.
• Is it possible to prepare for that last plane? Some would argue that is what we have been doing in our lives previous to that event. It is as if we have been training for that moment. In this way, we can check and see if we are ready to leave ALL we have now and embrace a total new existence. It means skills and aptitude, but also attitude and awareness.
• So, am I ready for the last plane and if not, which training do I need to be better prepared?

One day, maybe out of the blue that last plane will come to take you, me and us away. It will take off and after that, we will be in a totally different place… Until then, let’s keep training!

Why do we think too much?

A short video I saw many years ago was a pony trying to leave its stable… Hesitation, a bit of fear and FINALLY, after a few anguished moments, it steps out of it. All because of a small step on its way. The theme the person who posted it was OVERTHINKING.

And that may be a problem for ponies, I am not sure, but it is for sure a HUGE problem for everyone.

• We need to take a step, but… can we really do it? Is it safe? What about the safe place I am living right now, it is not that bad, you know? I think this is the wrong direction…
• Or, we need to take a jump, we need a big change to take place in our lives. No, I cannot do this! I am not prepared! My (wife, husband, friend, brother…) told me I wouldn’t be able to do it… It is too much, let me wait a little bit more…
• Furthermore, we maybe need a breakthrough. I prefer to stay where I am, it is not so good, but not too bad either. It is too risky!

Overthinking may be everywhere and I am sure, right now, you are overthinking about something…

Or maybe, I am overthinking about you…

There is not one solution, but a few things you can do:

• If you know you will need something, prepare yourself beforehand.
• If the change is small (a step), choose the best moment to do it. Some will prefer to be surrounded by close friends, others by themselves, the important thing is that YOU TAKE THAT STEP.
• If the change is big (a jump), you need to reflect and contemplate on it, but don’t overcook your decision or as some people say, don’t get paralyzed by the analysis. Probably the best thing is to get help from someone in terms of guidance, resources or a good chat.
• Now, if the change is a transformation, you do need help if that generates storms of thoughts in your mind. Perhaps, ask around to see who has gone through a type of change like that; probably it will different, but there are some lessons you can learn.

I hope that will be helpful.

Was it helpful? Are you sure? I don’t know I think I missed something……..

 

Just kidding! Take care!

What is the real difference between us and AI*?

The main difference between humans and AI is that humans have consciousness, emotions, and self-awareness, while AI does not. AI is a “machine” that has been designed and trained to perform specific tasks, but it does not have the capacity for experience or subjective thought. Additionally, AI operates based on pre-determined rules and algorithms, while humans have the ability to make decisions and exhibit creativity based on their experiences and beliefs.

The former paragraph was written by an AI… but, as a human being, I would like to explore this more. Or at least, in my own way.

• AI is great to compile information and knowledge, but humans are able to interpret information, to give context to knowledge and to reach to a point that knowledge turns into wisdom, something AI does not. I hope.
• Wisdom can be defined as living knowledge. AI cannot live knowledge… we can.
• Awareness is the main point of difference and it is that which creates a huge difference between us, humans, and machines. We are aware, you and I, of everything around us.
• Our decision-making process is… different. We mix logic and intuition, facts and suppositions. Spiritually speaking, to make a decision starts with DISCERNMENT, then IMPLEMENTATION. AI’s… well, their decision is based on others’ decision and they come from a collection of information bits.

I think Ais can help a lot in areas of creativity or routine and it is here, right now! Let’s use it, with respect for their creators and collaborators, but let’s never forget our own power.

* AI is the abbreviation for Artificial Intelligence. It is not a machine in the mechanical sense, only in terms of its processing capacity.

Peace and prosperity

The connection between peace and prosperity is obvious; if you look the world map, the peaceful is a country, the richer would be… more or less. In fact, one of the most violent regions in the world is not that poor and some of the poorest countries do not lack peace.

However, in terms of an individual, the peaceful the person is, the more prosperous he will be… right?

Again, it is not a definite affirmation; I am sure you know many people who are EXTREMELY peaceful and they are in bankruptcy too!

However, in a subtle level, when you are in peace, your mind works in a different way… it is more concentrated, focused and thoughts come not as a storm, but as a soft breeze…

The more peaceful someone is, their perception will be clear and so, to make decisions will be much easier than without that feeling of peace.

Besides, because the person is peaceful they will have a tendency to spend less time, energy and money, saving the most they can.

That’s right, at least in a subtle level, prosperity comes with inner peace.

So if you feel you have not found the key to prosperity, or you have lost it, just give it a try and experience meditation or other techniques that help you to be peaceful.

The last plane…

The images of the Khwaja Rawash airport during the evacuation in Kabul are still present in the minds of many. A few of us had friends or relatives there, but for most people the sensation has come from an overwhelming feeling of sharing with our fellow human beings, which made many feeling as if they were the ones in despair, trying to be evacuated.

I hope all goes well for the people who got to flee the country, for those who stayed back and my peaceful vibrations for those who couldn’t and their families.

Reflecting upon it, I understand that without realizing, many of us are going to have a last plane in life, a moment of decision so brutal and critical that will split our lives in two or more timelines. After it, you won’t be the same person anymore.

Maybe it was your marriage – it does not need to be something bad.

Perhaps when your first child was born… or when they left you.

Out of this reflection, I ask myself 3 questions:

• What does it happen when the last plane is available? There is pain coming due to the attachment to all that can’t be anymore, but many positive emotions emerge at the same time. The best would be to focus on the positive and let that heal the pain.
• Is it possible to prepare for that last plane? Some would argue that is what we have been doing in our lives previous to that event. It is as if we have been training for that moment. In this way, we can check and see if we are ready to leave ALL we have now and embrace a total new existence. It means skills and aptitude, but also attitude and awareness.
• So, am I ready for the last plane and if not, which training do I need to be better prepared?

One day, maybe out of the blue that last plane will come to take you, me and us away. It will take off and after that, we will be in a total different place… Until then, let’s keep training!

Silence and power in modern society

I was trying to do a research of silence in the modern world, but I think I will share my own experience of silence, what silence REALLY is and how it works.

My personal belief is that silence is what is missing in the world. I am not talking about shut up silence, but the silence that comes from being fulfilled, which helps to feel an inner satisfaction. More than a lack of words, it is the state when words are not enough or not necessary to express the feelings.

It is missing because the present society is very noisy and specifically the noise of the social networks makes it unbearable for anyone to make a real decision, to set proper goals or just enjoy themselves, as there is always another person’s suggestion, opinion and influence.

When I get into silence, naturally I am able to prevail over all that influence and make my own decisions, and this is by far the biggest benefit of silence in the present environment we live.

So, everyday I experience silence in two different ways, and sometimes, when it is needed, I do another exercise:

• I meditate and I let that silence quieten my mind, my emotions and my intellect, giving them time and space to understand reality and help me dealing with it.
• Particularly during early morning, I prefer to not talk. I enjoy those experiences of silence as they clear my mind and my purpose towards the day.
• From time to time, I face crisis; silence helps me to charge the self and overcome the challenges.

I invite you to join me in this experience of silence…

Do you have problems to make decisions?

What is the problem with making decisions?

First, why is it important to make good decisions?

By looking at a macro view, things are not OK… There are crisis everywhere and in every way possible, which probably means, in a micro perspective, that we are not making the best decisions we could.

If we extrapolate a bit: a community, society or country is the result of all our lives, so the result of all our decisions together.

So, if you and I start to make decisions that are more effective, that will have an impact in the whole…

Second, how to make better decisions then? These three points may help you:

1. Understand this: a decision cannot be unmade. Really. Even though you make a decision and change your mind, get a divorce or leave your job, that decision has affected you anyway. Any decision has weight in our lives, whether we recognize it or not, so to make an effective decision is crucial. Life is the result of all our decisions…
2. Before acting on a decision, reflect. All decisions must be made after a process of discernment. Take in account logic and intuition, your pragmatism and values; the more balanced is the discernment, the better will be the actions coming from it.
3. Be aware of decision fatigue. Before making a decision and acting on it, take a short break, meditate or just relax. This tiredness is not only in relation to physical aspects, but because decisions are something you cannot undo, there is always a subtle fear or anxiety. If you are tired at the time of making a decision, that won’t be so effective.

You are the sparrow, not the snail, of your story - Reason 72

Would you rather be a sparrow than a snail?  An old song[1] used to do issue this challenge, which could be translated into: Would you rather be a hero than a victim?

OK, victim is a strong word, but reality is: most people are trapped in their own world, like snails that cannot fly.  Normal people avoid or are prevented to look into the sky, leave earth and the possibility of creating a new reality.

Leaders create their own story and they fly very high, avoiding traps and attempts of decreasing their value.  Leaders are heroes, flying sparrows in the sky of their lives.

What makes the difference is the fact a leader sees her or his reality as a set of choices and makes the best use of it.  So, instead of dragging on the earth of their decisions, in the case they went wrong, leaders reflect, open their wings and fly, not away, but into the situation, changing it and opening new possibilities.

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[1] El Condor Pasa (The Condor Passes) is a song composed by Paul Simon in 1970, based on a Peruvian folklore song .  You can watch it here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pey29CLID3I

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

An apple a day is healthy if it does not stay until the next day… – Reason 32

Imagine you buy a green apple.  Can you see it in your mind screen?  Fresh, looks tasty and wonderful…  Don’t eat it!  Let’s suppose you just forgot it in a bag you seldom use.  After many weeks, you get out the bag again and you find the same apple still there…  What do you see now?

It is probably gone brown and rotten, and you can’t imagine how you even wanted to eat it!

When something happens, there is a tendency to hold on to it somewhere in our mind and heart.  In fact, if that is good, just like the example of a green apple, after a time it becomes bad too and for some reason, people keep going over the same bad situations again and again, more than with good things. 

As time passes by, it poisons the personality and the mind creates a habit of thinking negatively.  A leader however doesn’t store the ‘apples’ of situations in this way.  How?  Although it is not possible, or at least very difficult, to prevent bad circumstances to take place, leaders approach it differently.

First of all a leader wouldn’t let an apple like that remain uneaten.  Eat the apple is a metaphor to accept all situations in life and to deal with them instead of postponing decisions.  Sometimes apples are sweet and you eat them raw, other times you have to cook them, so they taste better; no matter what, the sooner you deal with it, the easier it will be, and a leader knows it.

Second, a leader will be able to do something with the situation, so that acceptance does not turn into a synonym for suffering.  To learn lessons, to develop other aspects of personality and to enjoy positive company are some of the possibilities related on how to eat the bitter apples life gives us.

Third, a leader will keep his or her heart clean and open to new experiences, so that no rotten apples are left in the bag.  Many more things will come in the future and this attitude will help the leader to be light and to face circumstances in a better way, open to new ‘apples’ yet to come.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: the year of 8

Life is a miracle. From the biological point of view, statistics show that a new life is an almost impossible feat, and yet every day there is a birth… RIGHT NOW, a baby is being born, a mother wolf is licking its new cub and a new whale is starting to swim in the oceans of the world.

Celebrating a birthday is not a small thing. It means a reverence to that miracle and at the same time, a commitment to help life to continue.

On January 12^th, I have the honor to celebrate mine. I feel humbled by the thought I was given a chance to live in this wonderful world.

However, it is not a single birthday; I celebrate two birthdays on the same day. How? Besides my birth, on that same date, in 1983, I got in touch with the subtle part of me, the soul that I am. It was and it is still is an incredible experience.

Every year I do something different and special for that celebration. For this double birthday, I would like to play with the number 8. After all…

• ·        2018 ends in 8…
• ·        My physical age is 53 and when you sum the numbers… yes, right, you get 8! Wait a second… my SPIRITUAL age is 35 and guess the result of summing its numbers…
• ·        And summing both ages, I get 88 – so, DOUBLE EIGHT!

There are eight affirmations I feel that have helped me to live spiritually in a very non-spiritual world. Each of these is associated with a spiritual power, which you can check on my blog about it.

I hope they will work as a gift from me to you. After all, a birthday means gift…

EIGHT AFIRMATIONS

THAT ENABLE ME TO LIVE AS A SPIRITUAL BEING IN A VERY MATERIAL WORLD

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It is easier to discern the best paths to follow in the journey of life - Reason 21

In an old Colombian song, Los Caminos de la Vida, the author describes how the paths of life are difficult to walk[1].  For many people, life can be one big mystery, and sometimes even an experience of constant misery.

However, a leader is clear that her or his life is the fruit of their own decisions, and is not based on others’ choices or on fate.  Yes, decisions made by others may influence them and circumstances will have an impact, but he or she ultimately will follow the path that comes from their own inspiration.

The leader’s ‘trick’, if we can call it that, is to take time to reflect and to discern before making a commitment in any direction.  Discernment is an ability that allows a person to choose and to prioritise the best possible options before taking any action.

For a leader the importance of discernment is multiplied by the fact that any decision also will impact on the lives of others.  In the absence of proper discernment, life would be just a guess-work . . . 

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

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[1] Los Caminos de la Vida (The paths of Life) is a song by Omar Geles, about the difficulty of facing a life for one isn’t prepared.  The rhythm is called Vallenato and it is typical of the Eastern Atlantic of Colombia.  You can watch its performance here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L9itEadUCE

When you reflect on a decision before you make it, you then give it power - Reason 1

Normal people go and do whatever they want, and because of that the results are ‘whatever’.

A leader thinks first, then acts.  As a consequence, the action is far more effective and the result will be many times more effective.  The reason is that reflection has the power to turn actions into a magic that makes dreams come true.

Not only that: all actions cause a reaction – a consequence.  This means a person can easily get wrapped up and trapped into a cycle of actions and reactions.  A leader will create a relationship between action and reaction that will be just like a seed and a fruit. 

With awareness a leader realises every performed action is a seed that bears fruit. And that fruit then goes on to produce many more seeds and fruit of the same.  One action will go on to produce not just one result, but will inspire many more actions and results

That action, after reflection, becomes much more than an ordinary action. It is special, valuable and extraordinary, and its creator is that too.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Bringing Emotional Intelligence into life

When the concept of Emotional Intelligence was exposed in a book, many years ago, it was such a novelty that it seemed everybody was speaking about it. But one thing I’ve noticed: very few were working on that.

Many years later, emotions are on the top – just look at the present headlines and you can see emotions. Look at your workplace and check the emotions present there. What about your family?

So, can we work on that emotional intelligence now?

According to Daniel Goleman, it means basicly 4 things:

• To know your own emotions.
• To know how to deal with them.
• To know others’ emotions.
• To know how to deal with them.

It seems easy enough and yet, its impact may change lives. Why? Emotions are a shortcut at times of reaction or decisions, bypassing the need of reasoning and reflecting, and going into the action in hand. By knowing your own or others’ emotions, an individual is able to understand that and help reflection and reasoning to meet the emotions.

For instance, if someone just wants to marry another person he just met one week ago, it will be difficult to talk the person out of it, but using creative techniques like storytelling or even a little role play it is possible to awake the reasoning behind the decision and help the person to think it over.

How do you manage emotions? As any management acting, first you need to know them. Then, you need to have some skills, techniques or a relevant education that enables you to deal with them.

However, good managers don’t simply deal with things, they attain success by using energy in a very effective way, comparing to results. So, it is not only techniques that will help convincing another person to not get married yet, many other things are required, like: empathy, spirituality would be helpful, listening to the other’s point of view, etc. Developing emotional intelligence is a very effective way to live better and help others to live better too.

My message here is simple: dust your favorite Emotional Intelligence book and use all that knowledge into your day-to-day life.

The sweetness of making good decisions

Life has different flavors and fragrances and in terms of decisions, sometimes they leave us with a sweet taste, other times they are a very bitter experience.

How to make the best of the decision-making process? First, let’s understand how it works…

First of all, you need a situation about which you are going to take a decision: It can be a marriage, a new job or just your hair-cut. In any case, you start your process by having different options.

The decision-making process has three main aspects that impact your choices:

1. Past experiences. They are usually definitive about decisions; that is, you will always try to repeat or avoid whatever you have experienced. That can be good or bad, according to the next aspect.
2. Logic. It has an importance in terms of filtering past experiences or understanding them and adapting them to the new context. The more logical someone is the better will be decisions related to fixed or predictable situations and circumstances. Of course, the next aspect will give the final say…
3. Soft side. We all rely on a soft side we all have, which can be a personality trace or the influence of culture, moment and period of time. Intuition or whatever you call this soft side will take whatever logic said and will try to validate or deny it, according to feelings and emotions.

To prevent undesirable consequences, you could add two other aspects or layers to the decision-making process: creativity and spirituality. By using a few techniques, like a brainstorming or a variation, you may challenge your assumptions and find out about other possibilities.

If you go into your own self using meditation or yoga, you may see things really different. That practice is particularly good in decisions which impact will last longer, like the change of a job or something related to your health.

A last thing to remember: after taking a decision, there is no way back. After all, even though you can go back somehow, it is another decision…

Are you able to see the invisible?

In a leadership parable on leadership, a prince goes to the forest to live for one year. His task: to observe all sounds he could and relate them to his master later. After relating his experience, his master sent him back as he was not content with his disciple’s achievements. After a while hearing the same sounds, the prince started to hear the unheard: a star rising in the sky, a rock moving in the sand…

That tale touched me very deeply, because the key for a good exercise of a leadership is in the unheard, invisible and intangible, those things we just perceive, but there is no measurement to it.

Big data is a big thing nowadays, it is what is making noise, but there is no comparison with the practical effect of small data, those details most programs, institutions and people ignore. Small data is invisible, unheard and intangible, but it is also very powerful: it is the small data that gave many surprises last year with Brexit, Donald Trump’s election and the victory of NO in the Colombia peace process referendum.

Leadership does not mean to leave all of the analysis, strategies and hard decisions aside, but it is time for leaders to focus differently: leaders need to change their focus from analysis to understanding, from strategies to intuition and from unilateral decisions to decisions that are accepted by others.

Otherwise, they too will become invisible.

A riddle in our lives…

Who am I?

This question is probably the easiest one, for which we give our names, profession or status, depending on who is asking. Besides the truth, we can even lie or tell half-truths as a response. So, it is an easy question, right? Easy answer…

In fact, all we do, all we have and all our different states depend on the response, mostly the answer we give ourselves, because it is our identification that is our awareness, and according to the awareness the rest happens.

For instance, if your response is that you are a very talented person, it will be probably easier for you to look for a good job as you will have enough self-confidence to do that. However, if you think of yourself as someone without training or education, result will be different.

A reflected answer of this question may solve the biggest problems in the world and your biggest difficulties too. Who am I? Think about it, then decide and act.