I am here, what about you?

A typical scene nowadays, anywhere in our very modern world: a group of friends sitting together, all of them looking into their own cell phones, apparently ignoring the rest of people around them, even though they are very good friends.

We live in a world of people who are not present. A few are working at one place different than the place they are sitting or standing; others, are looking for fun somewhere else and in many cases, they don’t even know where their actions are taking them to. Many others are trying to evade and escape the present reality.

But, I am here. Even though I am so busy, I am still here…

Maybe I can’t be present all the time, but I chose and decide to make that special effort to be where I am and to be what I really am, along with others.

Would you like to try? Try to disconnect yourself for a while from the whole world and be present at the small space you occupy. Try to look into the eyes of others and appreciate the nature around you or the wonderful city you where you live.

That will generate an alignment, enabling your mind to perform better and helping you to make better decisions. That will improve your life in general, and I am sure it will help others to appreciate you even more…

Respect and regard

All human beings at some point want to be respected. It is part of who we are to look for appreciation, acceptance, regard and respect, even honor.

But in a world where everyone seems to think they can say whatever they think about anybody, respect has become an underrated value.

It has become part of an old tradition, something from the time when everybody trusts on each other. That made an age when economy was based more on values than prices and stocks.

However, in my experience guiding teams in many companies and non-profit organizations, respect and regard still play an important part.

Let’s take the interesting example of an international flight, in which the system has failed. About 400 passengers had to be checked-in without the basic help from computers… Yes, made by hand boarding passes and luggage tags.

And yet… with respect, calm and regard for each passenger, the ground crew was able to embark everybody. Each person who complains was talked separately, in low voice and in a nice way. By the way, the flight did leave around 2 hours later, just to arrive a few minutes before it time; and the luggage arrive very promptly too.

Values are more than nice words, they are part of what we all need to overcome crisis in any situation.

Embracing roses and thorns

Many years ago, this song was a big hit. It talks about relationships and the reality of life, in contrast with our dreams and ideals.

As human beings we have the incredible ability of dreaming. It is proofed now that other species do the same, but up to this moment, I don't think any dog will follow their dreams... And that is exactly what we do.

It reaches a point when we are not even aware of reality, following images, voices, ideas, thoughts that don't even exist in real form, and it is something ALL OF US have done at some point when looking for a job, starting a new company, getting married or having children. We literally put reality aside and invest our time, energy and money on the intangible for the horror of mothers, fathers, future spouses and, of course, mother-in-laws.

Reality is made however of roses and thorns, good wonderful moments and horrible instants. It is made of inspiration and aspiration, expiration and transpiration. Cut the thorns and you will have a very tame rose, but it won't be natural.

Natural is the acceptance and appreciation. Natural is to prepare yourself for the reality as a whole. Look around you and you will see not only people who can live with their thorns, but for whom they are their personal reason for success. How many heroes do you know who didn't face at least a thorn? How many inspiring people you know who have only dealt with the roses of life?

Just breathe deeply, open your eyes and follow your dreams, while embracing these wonderful thorns and storms and tragedies life has for you!

The ability to trust others

Visualize a bridge: two ways, very well built, shining under the sun. Cars, bicycles, people, everything cross from one side to the other, which could be from an island to the continent or a land split in two by a river.

There are some fundamental elements for the bridge to exist, and these elements are also present in human bridges.

We create bridges between ourselves and other people, our jobs, the government, neighbors, etc. As islands, we extend our world, learn and teach, we share and experience, we experiment with this relationship with others.

Some bridges are temporary while others are eternal. Some break after a hurricane, others just need a small rain to cease existing.

Trust is a crucial element for that bridge. It is not easy to conquer and it has a huge impact in everything you do. In everything we do: part of the economic crisis is the lack of confidence by investors; wars start when all trust ends; brands grow and have success if people trust them, and even this blog is only read because people trust in what I tell them.

But, let's not talk about generating trust. Instead of that, how to trust others? After all, if you get enrolled into a company, you don't have a choice... Either you trust your co-workers, boss and the company itself, or you will feel you are working in hell.

The same happens when you are born in a family or when you get married and you have to trust your family in-law.

To trust others is also a skill you can develop, which includes a few steps. If you feel you are in an environment where you are having a hard time, perhaps this will help you:

• The trust you have in others is based in whatever trust you have for yourself. Yes, others are mirrors... If you are ugly or you have a bad case of baldness, perhaps you won't like your image, but that does not mean it is false. Whomever you don't trust, check the reasons in your own self. Perhaps there is some lack of clarity for the objective of your job or you don't really believe you can do things better. In this way, by working your self-confidence, naturally you will start to trust others.
• Decrease your expectations, increase your appreciation. Even before getting into any situation, we start to expect something from it and people involved. If you really want to trust others, talk to yourself about it. Instead of expecting, appreciate: see what others can do right, enjoy the learning process and love whatever environment you are, because there is always something wonderful there.
• Build a bridge based on common deep things. Whatever you have in common with others will help you to build that bridge, but go deep into that. Learn to know the people, not only the co-workers... Check this article on that...
• Differentiate likes and dislikes, from values, mission, vision and professional behavior. Most of the time, our lack of trust is based on what others like and we don't like. Not only in terms of work environment, even within a family or circle of friends, go beyond that. It is not uncommon that people with the same goals have different tastes; when we talk about trust, goals are much more important than tastes.
• Values. Sometimes, the lack of trust is due to a shock of values. And sometimes it is not something big; it is like someone likes football (soccer) and another person likes rugby. Other times, it is more serious and it can compromise your personal ethic. Assess your values and others' values, and then check if it is possible to conciliate them. If not, get off there right now!! Learning how to trust others also include learning when you cannot trust others.

In this way, you will improve your relationship with others and also your productivity, life in community and personal welfare.