When it is better not to change…

There are several reasons to change and I think you are a person who likes, or at least WANTS to change, right?

But there are a few reasons to NOT change, even though situations are pushing you to do that.

The first thing is when you are trying to adapt to another person’s way of life. Of course, if you are a partner or a room-mate, then both will have to adapt, but many times, it is a one-way expectation, and that is not right. Create a dialogue with the other person and check how both of you can adapt to each other or alternatives.

The second reason is when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit you. There are cases when they will benefit others; check how to do it in such a way you don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to you, don’t do it. Talk with others and see how you can accommodate, without losing that which is precious in you.

Third, when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit others, similar to the second reason. There are cases when they will benefit you; check how to do it in such a way others don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to others, avoid doing it. Talk with others and see how both sides can accommodate, without losing that which is precious for them.

Now, if you are not fully convinced of any change, reflect upon it. Maybe it is the method you don’t like or the possible outcome; by reflecting and realizing, it is possible you can change or you can reach the conclusion you won’t follow that particular change.

A last advice: you are your own leader. Don’t react, don’t change because situations change and don’t try to make others change. Reflect, meditate and understand before promoting a change in yourself.

Huge changes are happening to you, what to do?

Wow, so much has happened in such a short time!!! But… how has been your response in relation to all those changes?

Maybe fear? I am sure not! But it is always possible you were afraid, let’s say, a bit afraid… After all, a crisis or chaos tends to take off many things and people we care.
 Perhaps you tried to evade or even escape the change? I am sure you would be partially successful for some time. You see, when a change starts, the more resistance it finds, the more it grows, and try to flee is a certain type of resistance.
 It is also possible you rebelled and didn’t want to obey all the directions coming from many sectors of the government and actors trying to deal with the crisis. Or you even went on protesting against them! And yet, the crisis is even bigger now.
 Or you sat down and you reflected upon what was going on. You saw the change through very different glasses, without judgement and a deep positive acceptance.
 It is possible you are already doing something to change whatever is going on around you. Not to fight, as you understand the laws of change and resistance, but you are generating a change yourself.

It is quite conceivable you did a bit of each of the former possibilities, so check the immediate results and visualize the long-term outcome. And change whatever you must change to get the maximum success. Good luck in this wonderful journey!

The world needs lasting meaningful changes – Reason 79

Everyone goes through so many changes everyday: weather, people’s mood, our own mood, news, tastes, etc.  It seems people are caught up on a spin that never stops.

Leaders on the other hand manage changes without getting trapped.  The changes are generated from their own decision, will and reflection.  Even when they come from outside, leaders take the change into their hearts and minds, processing them internally and acting according to their plan in life.

It means changes promoted or generated by a leader have significance and they are deep with their effects lasting longer.  Those changes impact others by making them to adapt deeply from their own reflection instead of reaction.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

A brick for a new world – Reason 70

A leader keeps on improving in terms of her or his action; nothing is wasted and even the smallest step turns into something useful.  However, contrary to general belief, it is not usual that a leader tries to break walls and to smash obstacles into pieces.  Most of the times, leaders just provide an extra brick to that wall…

Let’s take the example of Maricela Gallegos[1], an idealist woman who became a Human Resources manager of an important company.  Her ideals inspired her to work on diversity and she came up against opposition...

While a normal person would try for a limited time and then give up or move on, the same did not apply to Maricela.  She created a very interesting tactic by educating the staff about physical disabilities, which showed them through their own experience that a disabled person can be as productive as anyone else.

Maricela created a new world step by step, brick by brick, that is what a leader often does.

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[1] Maricela Gallegos, originally from Mexico City, Mexico, worked for 30 years with Hewlett-Packard as their Human Resources Manager.  Her example was taken in a book called Tempered Radicals: How people use difference to inspire change at work, by Debra Meyerson published by Harvard Business School Press.  An article was published about it at Fast Company - https://www.fastcompany.com/40529/practical-radicals 

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Your past is a source of inspiration and values, but does not define your present actions - Reason 54

Past is merged in the present of all of us; for instance, look at the body and a person can even remember the type of food he used to eat that helped to shape it.

Past defines people, or to put it more accurately, many people allow their past to define their present state of existence. 

But, for a leader, past does not limit who she or he is, because leaders can change those traces that are not relevant to the moment.  After all, manage change and being an agent of change is part of being a leader.

Because of that, past becomes a point of reference from where a leader can take inspirations for improvement.  The past serves to show the leader lessons to be learnt, values to be kept and motivates him or her to make it better next time.

When past ceases to be a place for nostalgia, it turns into a source of teachings for life.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

 

A great time to be spiritual

Crisis and chaos: that is the present configuration of our world.

Ah, you don’t believe… But it is true. There is at least one crisis in your country right now. Maybe it is ecological or political, ethical or social; it may be incipient, mature or old… No, it is not normal, at least in the past – let’s say, 16^th century – it was quite uncommon and if you look at history records you will see years and years passing by without any mention of a big problem, for a long time and at many places.

Ok, but what is a crisis? A simple definition is an unexpected change that creates a bad sensation in most of the affected people. By unexpected I mean a change people were not ready to face. Probably older times were more predictable and easy to deal.

It is also certain there is chaos at least at a country in your continent. It may be in the form of confusion or a social situation that goes beyond the capacity of that place. Maybe it is a country with so much corruption, which structure is fallen apart.

How to deal with crisis and chaos? Yes, there are many techniques, but as these situations become more and more common why not taking in consideration a very different possibility?

Spirituality may be the solution a few people dare to suggest. It won’t solve crisis or chaos, but it will contribute with a different approach towards life. At one hand, it will minimize their effect on the person. On the other hand, it will help to keep a clear mind and a very sharp intellect, so that a solution is found.

So, whenever you realize you should deal with that crisis and you should be careful about chaos, go and sit in meditation… that is the best and perhaps the only way to tap into one’s own spirituality.

When you do that, you will feel circumstances don’t affect as much as they used to, and you start to affect situations, becoming a real change agent.

About stages of change

Change in nature takes place gradually. In fact, I am not sure there is any sudden change that happens in a natural environment. Well there are disasters, but it could be said they are also part of the change process.

But we, sweet humans, by not being content with that, we started something called civilization and we change everything. Yes, we change the change.

More precisely, we started many centuries ago to manipulate the pace and stages of change, according to personal or collective convenience, creating the times we live nowadays, when we are not sure what will happen next or how.

There are basically four stages in change and all goes through these.

Change is a non-creative name for the first stage. Sometimes I call it Transition, and it indicates soft and subtle changes. In a whole process like the yearly seasons, everyday there is a change in the temperature, humidity and wind, but we are not aware as they are very subtle.

Besides, they are expected. For instance, if the present season is spring, we are expecting that as time passes by, temperature increases, at least after a certain inflection point. And we are ready for that.

For us, we have maybe tens or hundreds of changes in just one day: clothes, hunger-food, hair style, smiley-serious, humor, opinion, tastes, etc. The key here is we are expecting them, so they don’t shock and many times we are not even aware of them.

But at some point there is a crisis. During the year, rainstorms come, snow falls and the weather becomes quite unpredictable. Crisis is a type of change that is unexpected and normally disruptive, quite often is considered as negative – although we could talk about good crisis when all of a sudden, during winter, the Sun heats our day and hearts.

It is necessary to provide the time and space so that the next season will replace the present one.

I don’t know anyone who is not afraid of a crisis, which name by the way in Chinese does have a character with the meaning of danger, but it is part of the stages of change, there is no way to avoid it without avoiding the whole change, and that is very difficult to do.

We need a certain level of preparedness to overcome the mean effects of a crisis. For the worst case scenario, leadership is necessary to help a person or any collective to come out of it. It is important to keep in mind this is necessary, because only by going through a crisis you can move on with the change.

Another point that distresses people is the fact that changes in our human society don’t happen in order, as in nature. That means, crisis can come and go, and come again during the same change process…

The worst part (apparently) of any change process is chaos, when the lowest or highest temperature takes place, or when floods or drought happens. It is totally unmanageable and besides going for a shelter, nobody can do much.

Not even by excelling in preparedness or the best leader in the world can help when chaos comes, and we, humans, try to prevent them. And yet, it is a stage we all have to go through if we want to come out of it and reach the last and final stage.

Transformation, also called metamorphosis, is that point when there is no resemblance between how things were at the first stage and how they ended. Try to explain to a little child that those leafless and dead trees will be soon blossoming with life… It is impossible to imagine it is true, but it is, because after chaos, after the worst part of a change process, when all looks like lost, life comes back again.

As humans, we don’t embrace transformation as we should. After all, to reach that point we do have to suffer in a way, passing through several stages – and different than nature, repeating those innumerable times – until one day we are transformed.

But we should embrace it, as we should embrace the chaos, crisis and the little transitions in life, because they all give us something much more valuable. See, nature will never transform something into another thing that is worse than the previous form.

Transformation always means good. Excellent. Incredible. It means our lives that reached their worst point and look deprived of energy are now totally different and we have another chance to live.

So, instead of fighting against the processes embedded in changes, it is better to learn about them, prepare yourself and use them for the good of many.

Delegate or empower? That is the question…

If you are a boss, manager or have another position of authority (like a parent), let’s admit to ourselves at least: bosses are overwhelmed, stressed and under too much tension. It does not matter the culture of the organization or how things are working (good, bad), tension is taking over everyone. There are too many things to do. Period. So, it does not matter how many seminars or courses you attend, it will never be enough.

However, there are ways to diminish the burden; one of them is to sharing it with others. From the manager’s point of view, there are two easy methodologies that help him or her with it.

Before talking about them, the manager first of all has to understand her or his own team – strengths, weaknesses and their bond as team. Second, he or she needs to have a clear idea of the culture of the organization, and that is very important for this sharing to succeed. Last but not least, the task or project has to be clear for that person.

One technique, tool or methodology is delegation. OK, don’t jump out your seat yet!!! I know, it is as old as the Bible, but the idea is a bit more complex than what is roaming around in the management market, which explains why there is fear from either of the sides to take over on this subject.

When a manager delegates a task or project, or a piece of it to a person or team, she or he is aware of their limitations. To delegate means someone else will act on the manager’s behalf, so the manager is traditionally consider being responsible, but they need to have enough margins for maneuvering particularly when negotiation is necessary, and most of the times, negotiation is necessary.

In other words, it is not because a boss does not like to check on the prices of paper in the market, then he assigns the duty to another person. Neither it is a question of, at the time of choosing whom, the first person coming into the manager’s office will receive a particular job. Both situations are quite common and that is one of the reasons of fear of delegating.

The solution comes from a deep reflection and these questions may help:

• How much do I know the task in hand, its requirements and consequences?
• Knowing the project, who are the people who can be the best option to fulfill with the terms of that project?
• How much do I trust these people and what is the type of bond we have?
• In which extent the rest of the organization will support this team, even though I am behind them?

If what we are talking on delegation looks a little different than many people do around the world, what about empowerment?

In fact the basic premise for that is wrong: everyone has power and nobody can really give power to another person. Empowerment is more a question of helping others to identify their own capacity and potential, allowing them to handle a broad range of situations that go beyond their normal functions.

This time the main difference is the responsibility remains with the team or person in charge and that is a bigger burden for them, but it frees the boss, who will have a role closer to an overseer or a facilitator.

There is a deep reflection needed, and you can use these questions for that:

• I know the task in hand, its requirements and consequences, how is the best way to proceed with that?
• Who are the people who can take care of that project as if it is their own?
• How deep do I know these people and what is the way to increase our bond or relationship?
• In which extent the rest of the organization will support this team and how can I help with that?

Be careful with two deadly sins when you are using empowerment. First, you are a manager, not Pontius Pilates, no washing hands here; even though they are responsible, you still keep some type of responsibility and you will need tools for managing that – like meetings or small reports to check their development.

Second, be aware of signs you have chosen the wrong people or you have chosen people wrongly... Maybe you can train them, maybe not, and it is important to be able to accept your error – not theirs – and move on with the task in hands.

Remember that by doing this you will be relieved of a big part of your tension, which will increase your sense of wellness and it will increase your personal productivity.

Change at a high speed

Changes are present every time and everywhere. It is part of life and it is part of our own identity as we know we will be changing and our society system is based on that, supporting different stages of our lives.

However in the last few decades, that change has been accelerated and that system has failed, which explains very successful people at a young age and people who were supposed to be retired, still working.

Changes are happening in a fast speed and there are many theories about it. Regardless, they are happening and it is time we prepare ourselves for that. By facing a fast-paced change unprepared, we are destroying our health and compromising our own reality. Stress, a high rate of divorces, loneliness, mental disturbances… all of that is a way of coping with this type of change.

I was very touched by one case that happened in Colombia, where the main bank CEO decided to resign due to a letter he received from his daughter where she claimed her father back and this news showed the extent changes are affecting our lives.

However, there are many things you can do to keep pace with change, as much as possible anyway. If you feel overwhelmed by an omnipotent and omnipresent change, try these:

• Make sure the things you value are not lost in change. You can’t avoid traditions and structures to disappear under the fire of change, but you can prevent whatever you receive from them to get lost. For instance, maybe you used to have dinner every night with your family or go to your temple of devotion all Sundays; if change is too fast you can’t do even that, but you may create other slots of your time and keep them no matter what: a family meeting on Sunday night and a good daily routine of prayer or meditation would help you to recharge your life, keeping intact the experiences you value.
• Whatever you do should be aligned to your values. So, understand your values and check if your actions match those. If not, think of a way to do it. Values are important and they will help you dealing with changes without pain. Look for something else to do that is aligned to your values and change it, or develop values that are aligned to what you are doing.
• Is your present position, profession or career fulfilling your purpose in life? Do you even know your purpose in life? There is a very easy way to know if you are accomplishing your purpose, even though you don’t know it, and that is your level of satisfaction. Not talking here about joy or enjoyment; if you eat a nice food, you would enjoy it, but after a while you would be hungry again, but if you are satisfied with something, that sensation does not leave you and you don’t get tired of it either. Reflect on your present life and look for a way to satisfy your purpose.
• You have a future, a subtle edifice you have been building all these years. Right now you are doing it! However, due to change fast rhythm, you sacrifice that to have something unrelated in the present moment. Find in your present situation opportunities to attain that future vision and invest time and energy on those.

How to check yourself?

If you are in a company and want to have success in a project, checking is a vital element to get that. Simply saying, when you check you know how far or how close you are from success, then you can make effective decisions in relation to the use of resources. If you don't check, well, you can reach there by sheer luck or a long experience...

Checking also avoids stress - hummm... I can see you're frowning on that. It is right that some checking methods are so complex that you need too much time for that and what was supposed to prevent stress turns into one of the big stress triggers. But it is not the checking in itself, rather it is the method you used for that.

Anyway, what happens if you want to reach success? Do you really want to get there?

I am sure you want, so a proper checking method is necessary for that. In general, checking covers two main areas of success:

• Quantity. You always have some measurement for that which can be money, free hours to spend with family or number of times you have smiled in one single day. It is easy if your notion of success is measurable, and it is always is. Checking quantity helps you to weight the amount of resources you need to invest, withdraw or get from somewhere; resources in this case can be people's help, skills, money and many other factors that come from outside.
• Quality. That is a bit trickier... Quality is subject to whatever you aim in your life, in this case, whatever you consider as success. For instance, if you buy a TV screen, what are the main points you will check in relation to its quality? Probably the quality of the image (if you are a technical person, you will be talking on display resolution and pixels; otherwise, how nice it looks), the quality of the material in terms of durability, etc. So, if you want to have success in your life, what are the main elements you need to check so that success is something that looks good, lasts in time, etc.?

That is probably more important for the self than for a project, so invest time in that. Learn a method that works with you - remember that a good checking method prevents stress, does not create it.

And what to do with the results? It is key that you implement the changes you noticed immediately. Postpone is not an option... Yes, you can try another method and see what are the results you get through that, and then implement whatever you need as soon as possible.

By checking and implementing changes, you are making sure that success came not out of luck and you can replay that later, or use the same steps in other situations. You can even help others doing that.

Radical change management

One of the things I appreciate mostly about my choice of profession is to meet incredible people. I do believe deep thinking can make a difference in a world of such a "shallow" thinking...

Jimena, a very good friend, has made a wonderful effort to fulfill her career dream, by becoming a Master Coach. Even though she is not a psychologist, I have found few people who can understand human psyche like her. One example is a model of change management, based on the emotions people feel. It does look like Kübler-Ross model, but I tell you, it came from her own observations on what happens in the reality of change.

After preparing the model, she decided at some point to try it out: during a workshop at a warm place in Colombia, she just jumped in the swimming pool. When I say she just jumped, I mean WITH CLOTHES AND ALL. She motivated the participants to do the same, what they did. All the emotions she compiled in her model happened there.

I think there are two main aspects left out when we deal with change management in the normal consulting stream, and emotions is one of them. It does not matter about which culture we talk, change, and especially radical change, provokes too many emotions.

But there is another one, and I feel if people could focus on that one, the untimely changes that take place from time to time would be able to be managed much better.

To talk about that, let's understand one thing: every time we react against a change, it makes it stronger. So, to face a change and overcome it with success, it is required to not fight against it.

But, if fighting is off the table, what should it be done? The second aspect I want to mention is the awareness of self-leadership, which allows the individual to respond to the changes. The more the person is a leader on himself or herself, the more he or she will be able to get success.

Self-leadership allows the individual to be calm during a storm and to find solution when only problems are visible. It helps the person to manage the emotions in such a way they don't follow my friend's model.

I will talk about the 8 powers of the self at some point, which is my personal model of self-leadership... for this post, let's think of each power as an attitude to deal with changes:

• When the change is too big to be dealt with, introspection is the best policy. Reflecting from inside will help to find solutions faster.
• When the change creates a situation that is temporary, tolerance is the best power to use. However, if the situation is not temporary, then to be flexible is the best thing to do.
• If the change threatens principles, then the individual must stand to it. Not in an aggressive way, but from inside not allowing change to take those principles away.
• Sometimes, change generates situations which require other people to act along with the person. Getting cooperation is a power that comes from a deep self-realization.
• But apart from all of that, decisions tend to be made with no good results. From inside, the person can discern among the many choices life gives her or him, which one will take him to right solution; then, it is just a question of bringing the power to implement that decision into reality.
• And lastly, whenever some process ends, it is vital to withdraw again. This time, to assimilate the lessons and to just let go of any wounds.

If the person develops that level of self-leadership, it will be easier to manage changes, especially radical and untimely ones.

Really, why do we have to change?

In fact, you really don't have to change as you will change anyway.

Backwards or forwards, change has happened in the whole human history. Ironically then, change is the only constant you have in this world.

As soon as you are born, you start changing. Wait!! That's wrong - you started changing MUCH before you were born. And if you believe in reincarnation, then it is MUCH MUCH before that.

So, why to make effort in changing, really?

Many years ago, I have received a story. It touched my heart so much... but there is a point from that story which was safely kept in my memory: the point when Rose explains about the difference between get older and get more mature.

And that same principle applies to change, and change processes: you can just enjoy the changes that come to you, or you can be the change yourself. Which of them do you prefer?

Be careful with your answer! If you prefer to just enjoy the changes that come, your experience will be:

• Predictable. You will know beforehand what will really happen.
• Carefree. You won't need to worry about anything, just enjoy the changes coming.
• Struggling. Because many times you won't experience the change you LIKE, but only the change that comes.

However, if you are the change yourself, your experience will be:

• Adventurous. ANYTHING can happen, but it all depends on you to start it up.
• Exciting. Because you are the one generating the change, it won't turn into a worry, but a fascinating learning experience, even when you don't like it.
• Winning. When you are the change, then you will always win, no matter the results.

Now, both have advantages (although I probably just mentioned them in the second one...) and you are the one who has to decide on what to do.

What do you want to do: just lie in a bed and wait until you are older, or go there and get more experiences, becoming mature?

I would like to hear from you, write your comments, I promise I will respond to them. Take care, Marcelo

Change implementation

New year, new life. Right?

Not so. I have never heard stadistical data, but I am sure 90% of New Year's resolution does not pass the February limit. Probably more.

But, don't worry, you are not guilt for that. It's just a case of change implementation. Bad change implementation.

That is a whole subject in companies around the world and, in a way or another, in societies, families, political parties, etc. Change is happening all the time, but how to implement it in a way that minimizes the bad impact (losses mainly) and change resistence, and at the same time optimizes the benefits and change agents?

Here are a few points that can help you with those resolutions implemented in your life, or even other changes:

• Know very well the change you are going through. First weapon to really implement any change is knowledge. Most people go through change without really knowing what that means until it is too late, generating desistance or frustration.
• Know the change means to know where you are coming from and where you are going to. Sit quietly and think about your present and proposed future situation. Be honest with yourself in the first, but allow creativity to take over in the second. Understand the different states of yourself and what will be the impact of change in your life as a whole (personality, lifestyle, friendship, etc.).
• For the implementation, you have to think of how. Get a piece of paper and design the various possibilities to go from the present to that proposed future. Try to have as many details as you can without stressing you out.
• The others. Others matter, always matter. A simple exercise is to create a circle as big as your relationships are, it can be on paper, computer or even with plastilin. Now, put yourself in the center of the circle (a point will be enough, with your name or a different color). Think of every relationship in terms of closeness and their impact in your life, and position them just like you (but different enough so that you can make up who is who); the closer to you means not only closeness, but also impact in your life. After that, with post-it or something similar, write the impact of your change in their lives or in your relationship with that person.
• More... Create an itinerary, as if change would be just a trip. Don't forget fail-safes, in case change is not working (for instance, organize a meeting with your closest friends to talk about that and look for encouragement to make decisions). Study as much as you can. Enjoy as much as you can. Smile and laugh, whenever you can, and even when you cannot.

I think that will be helpful, but look at a future post on the changes in lifestyle, as that is an important element in any change you go through. Take care.