Games of life

One of the things that I find amazing is how many childhood games are played in very different cultures… For instance, hide-and-seek.

You know the drill: one person is chosen to find others, they close their eyes and count, giving time to others to hide themselves. You are found, you lose!

Now, let’s translate that to our present environment, supposing you don’t play that game anymore…

There is a conflict or a situation of crisis among a few people. One of the them, the leader, is with their eyes closed, that is, the leader does not know exactly the cause or the solution for it.

However, there is SOMEONE in their team who knows; maybe they have studied more or they have an experience the leader does not have. The game is to find that person.

When the person is found via interviews or informal conversations, at last the leader has the key to solve the situation.

It is possible the leader does not know who has the key, so they have to go through everyone patiently, talking, trying and checking the results.

It could be a company or a family, a platoon or a group of college students, anytime we think of a group of people as a team, the hide-and-seek game is one way to deal with a crisis. You are found, all win!

In reality, all crisis, big or small, are a chance for us to play with other people, changing roles and activities, challenging ideas and paradigms.

But there is always the risk we forget our ability to play and use other tools, like a fight or even a war.

Please, don’t forget the days of your childhood… and use them as a valuable experience for anything that is taking place right now.

Any company is important – Reason 50

We are seeing a world where social means social network and very few people are making effort to create real new company, outside an internet framework.

It seems we struggle by being with other people: there are complaints about this or that person, they suffer if the person is not there and also in their presence, and sometimes they go down the route of living alone as a way to deal with that – okay, maybe a dog can be a better companion…

Leaders have a different approach, because they see others as sources of wisdom, knowledge, talents, qualities and fun!  They are able to enjoy and learn from others, no matter whom they are or what they are like.  In fact, a leader will prefer to be surrounded by people who are different as in this way, he or she will use their commonalities as bridges and their differences will be embraced as valuable experiences, enriching each other.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

True commitment is an engine for improvement – Reason 45

For most people, a significant element that helps form their identity is the forged relationships between the person and family, friends, work, community, etc.  That means commitment and according to its depth and length, decisions are made and lives are shaped.

Even though committing to someone and making agreements imply the need to change or to adapt along the way, including self-change, a leader will do it.  Even though there are many people in the world who will back away from a pledge or promise, leaders won’t.

A leader leads people, not companies or machines, and her or his commitment is what helps in achieving a goal and fulfilling a vision.  By doing this, the leader’s team will work tirelessly to enable each other and others to live a better life.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Coordinating others

There is a big range of possibilities when you talk about a person in a position of being a chief: chief, boss, manager, supervisor, overseer, etc.

But a few publications and articles talk about the fine art of being a coordinator. You see, I have been that for much of my life.

Its concept does not fit into the boss’ idea, neither as a manager, and yet, bosses and managers have a lot to learn from being a coordinator.

It implicates many aspects that may be useful while managing others:

• A coordinator does not own the task and yet he or she is fully committed. That gives them an advantage as they can work with passion, but without attachment to procedures and results.
• The main people in the team are the rest of the team. The coordinator is like the empty space in a bicycle wheel – very important, but that is not why you buy a wheel...
• Coordinators will stimulate creativity, innovation and disruption, and they will use those moments to accelerate any process.
• Rules and regulations will be talked and will be uphold, but people will always come first. If a person breaks them, a coordinator will talk and together they will find a solution.
• Coordinators are measure for more than a task success: her or his people’s satisfaction will be equally important.
• The relation between a coordinator and the stakeholders is one of respect and humility.

How to be creative in a non-creative environment?

There are places where creativity is discouraged. It may be because of giving priority to routine instead of initiative or just because the team is still learning and the person in charge is trying his best to accomplish a task, with no time to explain or to help people to understand what they are really doing.

In the short term, there is not much damage… but in the long term, that may affect a person’s capacity of thinking out of the box and even the task may be affected.

However, there are ways to keep creativity alive even in the worst places:

• From a leader’s point of view, the leader may help others to think in different ways to find solutions to whatever they have in hand. Many years ago, I arrive at an airport just to learn the flight was much delayed; their system has failed and they were doing our registration by hand, including luggage. What impressed me was the leader’s attitude: she was following up the process and every time someone has found a new way of doing something, she used to call everybody’s attention to that. She was promoting creativity in a critical situation and with a team of young people.
• A simple way to encourage creativity is to share with others in an informal environment, or even to have a training that is not related to their main subject. I had a workshop with a group of public officers working at a company that was closing. Situation could be grim as everybody there knew they would be fired at the end of their process; in other words, their prize for success was to be fired… It was very valuable for them, for their peace of mind and their morale to talk about things not related to their work.
• When there is rigidity in the place, make effort that mind is free. I was at the Air Force for three years, spending the equivalent to high school there. However, I’ve made effort to keep my mind free – I was well informed, doing poetry and even practicing meditation in my last year.

In other words, there is no excuse to not be creative...

If you want some help with your creativity, let's talk... contact me by commenting and leave your email address. 

How to inspire other people?

Working in a team or just living in a family can be a challenge bigger than its purpose or mission, due to the way relationships go.

When there is a conflict, corrections and lessons have become short in our present time and inspiration is probably the best, if not the only, solution. The question is: how to inspire people?

Trying to inspire others by telling your own story… sometimes that will work, but not always as people have more criteria today and don’t accept things told to them as easy as before.

Being an example? That does work, but it takes its time and in some environments, like the corporate world, that won’t probably be effective.

What to do then?

The best way to inspire others is to inspire the self. Endlessly and tirelessly inspire this person you are and naturally others will feel inspired by what you are, not by what you say or what you show.

The reason is that your energy will be of first quality, your intentions will be clear and your actions will express the best of you.

How inspired do you feel today?

Teamwork: the secret…

I remember a scene where my mother tried to make me get a few friends. Her strategy was practically throwing me out in a group of other boys and girls, while she was talking with her own friends. Sometime later, a crying boy went to her, begging to leave the place and going back home, which was quite nearby.

Years later, that same boy is still amazed on his ability of getting involved in groups or teams in general. Many years have passed by and it helped to study at a military school where he had to share a room with two hundred other guys and to move out from my original city and country.

We are human beings and social relationships should be natural, but it is not always the case. That is why companies spend lots of money (or they should…) to train people to work and live together.

In my experience, both as a person and as a consultant who train people to work in teams, I could summarize the main need as the need of bonding with others. In other words, it is just a question of helping people to understand why and how to link with other people at some level.

Many years ago, when I was trying to leave India, I had problems with the airline as they did not consent me to carry more than the allowance. It was a big deal at that time and I had to leave around 10 kilos at the airport…

When the plane landed in Moscow, before getting an international connection to my final destination, I was feeling the need of being with other people I could talk and relate. I realized there was a Chilean guy in the plane, so I’ve approached him and we started talking. Soon, we were around 8 Latinos enjoying ourselves in a very cold night at the airport.

Bonding comes from finding a common ground, solid enough you and others can step on. The second important element is sharing what is valuable for others and accepting what is valuable for you.

One of the companies I have worked more in Colombia was in a very nice city called Barranquilla. I used to travel quite often to that part of the country, near the Caribbean Sea. My job specialty is mainly outdoor games as they open people for possibilities and it is very funny.

The Human Resources manager of that time came at the end of the day, after many games. She was surprised when saw two people bonded – literally, bonded by a rope. They were working with the rest of the team, looking for accomplishing something and she told me they had serious problems between themselves and they could not work together…

As bonding is not natural, if it is not happening it is important to stimulate it. Challenges help that to happen, if you follow this simple formula: big enough to create interest, but small enough to be conquered.

When bond is there, team work will be a natural consequence.

Accepting others' ideas

A few years back, someone explained to me the difference between discussion and dialogue, taking as an example science. According to that person, science used to be an example of dialogue, a field where people used to work on someone else’s work enriching it and providing different perspectives.

Today however what we see – in science and in every other field – is that instead of a constructive dialogue, there is a competition; dialogue has changed into discussion, a word that comes from discus, an old weapon used to kill others…

It is hard to accept other people’s ideas for the simple reason that we are like different universes trying our best to live and work together. When I talk to someone I am using my own intelligence, perception, experience and skills for that and I am expecting a certain type or response, according to my intelligence, perception, experience and skills. Unfortunately the other person will use their own intelligence, perception, etc.

And never in human civilization was an agreement needed as it is needed nowadays. We have to take some very important decisions in relation to environment and migration, and other subjects that one person or one country cannot solve.

There are three simple techniques or tactics a person may use to embrace others’ ideas:

• As you know others are different than you, check for some common ground. It can be football, nature or meditation, but there is always something you and others agree upon. Start your conversation with that and use it as an anchor, going back when it is needed. This kind of talk strengthens the bond between you and others and may help to reach a consensus.
• Before refusing another’s ideas, accept them in your mind, see the probabilities of success and how they will work. If you can’t accept them in your heart, explain to the other person why and move on to another subject. You can use visualization to understand another’s point of view and talk with them from that approach.
• There are always lessons to be learnt. After a discussion with someone, sit quietly and understand what happened. Focus on what you have learnt and what you could not accept, and why. Don’t be afraid of going back on your decision and accept what others said, even after refusing it; you are becoming wiser by doing that.

The power of love

A symbol in the 60's, spiritual, religious and humanitarian people still believe in the intangible power of love. Well, even Harry Potter, finally was able to believe in it (sort of...).

But, what does that mean? How much money does this power can produce? How many friends can you conquer or customers can be satisfied?

Believe me, love can make all the difference and it affects your life much more than you think about. For a better understanding, I propose several dimensions for this concept, each one clarifying love and its power in a different way. By knowing this, you can take advantage of this huge power.

The first dimension I identify is the individual one as love is what helps in building very strong bridges between people. In this way, you can see its use in a team or a negotiation. Love can be also the healing factor whenever a relationship goes wrong.

But for that dimension to work, you have to comprehend a second dimension, which is the expression of love. I have a friend, Dr. Roger Cole, who wrote a book on the Mission of Love, by the way, an excellent book!! He commented to me at some point when we travelled together in Ecuador where I was helping as a translator, that love really can't be find in this world. What you can find is mercy or compassion, and other qualities, virtues or values that are in themselves expressions of love. So, when a co-worker is having problems and you try to genuinely help or you get into a negotiation process with a win-win mind set, you are using the power of your own love...

A third dimension, very important to understand, is in relation to the attributes of love. Let's be honest, love became a very cheap word and many times is misunderstood with sex or lust. Love as a power works as a trigger for growth, solidarity and relationship, which I've put as total different dimension due to its importance. Yes, it is love that enables nature to live again after a very hard winter. It is also love that makes you extend a hand to a strange and help them. So, whenever your love enables others to grow or enables you to help others that means love is power.

As I try to show here, love is not something too abstract or a little hippie... The power of love is real and it is inside you. Just use it in your life and see its wonderful results.