Never forget… or forever forget?

During life we go through so many experiences. Some are recorded deeply into the soul and we remember their images, sounds and sensations; they are also present in our habits, lifestyle, our way of thinking and communicating with others.

Other experiences, we forget so much that it is as if we have never had them: that wonderful food, this person who is talking, former co-workers…

Nothing bad about that, as it is normal, but the problem is when we remember what we should have forgotten and we forget what we should have remembered. What to do about it?

Let’s focus on the things we forget…

First of all, we shouldn’t feel bad if we have forgotten something*; there is always a reason for that. Maybe that scene is not relevant anymore in my life or at least, not at this moment; perhaps, I really didn’t see benefit in it. If someone is close to me, to us, they will accept that forgetfulness as normal and if it is necessary, they will remind us with kindness.

Now, if something was forgotten that was really important, a simple tip is to make it relevant again. For instance, I used to write poetry in my youth, but that was all forgotten; then, for some volunteer work, I had the challenge of reminding people of some duty and poetry, in a humorous way, has been used to do that – the person laughs at it, they like it and they do what they would be supposed to do!

Last, there is something we can control: what we are living right now. To remember or forgetting something, there are three questions we can ask ourselves:

• What am I learning?
• What is the experience I am living here that I want to treasure?
• Which of the experiences I am going through I will share with others?

This will help to keep something in memory, but also to release those things that are not useful or significant.

Of course, we have to do something to keep the memory: take pictures, write something, shoot the scenes… But the most important work has been done as that scene of our life has become more than just a passing cloud, turning into an important part of our life, something we will always remember…

* Sometimes, memory problems can be caused by physical reasons. If you forget things in a certain pattern, it is good to check with a doctor.

Step 1…

We are just starting to live a new year, so this is a time for a transition.

That means you are probably so busy celebrating (with mask and all) that you are not thinking much about the remaining 362 days or so, and yet this is the right time to start thinking of it.

Consider these first days as the first step to have a MUCH BETTER year and here are three suggestions, which are stages of this first step:

• To let go – the first part of this step is to let go not only the bad things, but even the good things. You need space to generate a new experience, and to start from a blank mental whiteboard is the best option.
• Trust yourself – this is the part in which you design the New Year and you have a style that is completely different than mine, your spouse’s, children’s, neighbors’, mother-in-law’s and anybody… Let your ideas flow by brainstorming, using creative methods like journaling or just sitting down and reflecting. The basis of this stage is to trust your inner voice and maybe you want to use this powerful question: What are the ways to be successful this year?
• Perseverance & patience – you will need this couple of virtues this year. On one hand, perseverance will help you to put all those beautiful ideas into reality. On the other hand, patience will help you to trust yourself and wait…

 

In the next posts, I will get into each of these stages, but you probably would like to start something. Good luck!

A session of coaching, just for you – part II

This has been a very interesting year and so, this session of coaching, distributed in two different posts, has an aim of helping you find meaning in the past year. This is the second part.

 

First of all, look for a place where you feel secure, safe. Along with that, do this at a time when you are not needed by others.

Please, don’t look at this as just a series of questions or tasks. Take them step by step, and take your time…

Take paper and pen, or pencil. If you want you can take a watch to keep time, but try not. And yes, be unplugged for the time of the exercise.

Let’s begin…

 

Session 3: if we think of 2020 as a school…

What were the best lessons you have learnt?

• How would they be useful for you for the next year?

What were the most difficult lesson to learn and why?

• How could you improve your capacity of learning, so lessons like those can be assimilated?

 

Session 4: if we think of 2020 as a training course…

What was the best thing that happened to you?

• In the future, what will be the use of that as a lesson?

What were the lessons you feel you haven’t learnt well?

• How can you give yourself another chance to learn them?

A session of coaching, just for you – part I

This has been a very interesting year and so, this session of coaching, distributed in two different posts, has an aim of helping you find meaning in the past year.

 

First of all, look for a place where you feel secure, safe. Along with that, do this at a time when you are not needed by others.

Please, don’t look at this as just a series of questions or tasks. Take them step by step, and take your time…

Take paper and pen, or pencil. If you want you can take a watch to keep time, but try not. And yes, be unplugged for the time of the exercise.

Let’s begin…

 

Session 1: it is better if you do all of this first, in order and during a certain time limit.

How do you feel in relation to this year? Write as much as possible.

Which things, scenes of your life or aspects of your environment you would prefer they would be rather different?

How much was your life impacted by all that happened this year?

Now, think you are being interviewed in 2025 about the year 2020. Indicate a few things you would tell your audience.

 

Session 2: do this after the first session; as you can see, there are two main questions, you can change the order if you want.

During this year you or another person has made an error that impacted your life. Which error was it?

By correcting that error, what would happen to the rest of your year?

By not correcting that error, what did REALLY happen (to the rest of your year)?

Something right happened that touched your heart or created a positive impact in your life; it may be the right thing you or another person did. Which right thing was it?

What was the impact of that right thing in the rest of your year?

If that right thing hasn’t happened, what would happen to the rest of your year?

 

Next week we will continue…