What are the real effects of forgiving?

 

Forgiveness is more than being saintly, it is a healing tool, a way to repair broken bridges with other people and a wonderful way to experience constructive emotions. I would like to invite you to read this article about forgiveness, from the point of view of neuroscience: The Neurobiology of Forgiveness.

In my case, would like to share my own experience as I am in a spiritual path for more than 40 years, which I hope will motivate you to forgive. And be forgiven.

• Forgiveness is healing for the one who forgives. In fact, I believe when I forgive, I am forgiving myself to have allowed that sorrow entering in my life or losing my own self-respect due to that.
• Forgiving cannot be compulsory, it must flow. A very wise yoga teacher shared when she could not forgive; she decided to connect the person with someone who could provide whatever they need… She took her time, until she was able to at least talk to the person again, an important step.
• Forgiveness is a way to others’ hearts. When you forgive someone, whether they know or not, a powerful energy links you both again… It may take time, but the relationship can resume.
• Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that all changes because of it. It is a process of acknowledgment and, from this, you can change whatever is needed.
• Forgiveness works best with best wishes, detachment and unconditional love.
• Forgiveness works worse with expectations, grudging and blaming.
• Forgiveness opens wounds, make sure you are prepared for it.
• Forgiveness improves by meditating, praying and other spiritual practices.
• Forgiving does not mean to talk to the other person. Do it when you are both ready.

Finding a very good friend

Friends are very scarce nowadays and there are so many theories on the reasons, but we may focus on having VERY GOOD ones.

First of all, why? Friendship gives us a different point of view as it is a detached relationship – someone who is an outsider and so it is impartial – and at the same time, very loving – a friend appreciates you and values your company because of what you are, no matter what you have or do.

Now, how to get very good friends? Here are three things that may help:

1. Befriend yourself! Talk to yourself by meditating, contemplating or simply reflecting, and help yourself to make the best decisions.
2. Know yourself! By knowing yourself very well, you are aware of certain aspects of your life, enabling you to look for people who are like you.
3. Just be yourself! Real friends, very good friends prefer people who are what they are, without masks or make-up. After all, they want to be themselves too…

To meditate is very productive

Many people nowadays talk about the benefits of meditation in terms of productivity and several companies are investing in creating spaces for this practice. But much before all of that, I was already meditating…

To meditate gives me three important things that I think closely are related to productivity:

• Concentration. I will be clear and confess that my concentration power if very poor… but meditation helps in terms of increasing it. When I meditate, I develop a powerful habit of thinking of one thing only, or very few ones, which is useful when I am working or any other situation that implies productivity.
• Detachment. It is not a Zen attitude, it is something fundamental to have a good work life and yet, keep the balance with the rest of your life. But, if you like philosophy, it is said in the Gita: All the time your hands are doing, your mind should be on God.
• Power. If you go beyond the relaxation that meditation provides and the sense of abstract, you will find that to meditate is an excellent recharger. The reason is that connects you with some more powerful source, giving you power just like when you think of someone you admire, you feel stronger.

Now, you may ask which type of meditation is the best. I do raja yoga, and I love it, but I am aware people are different and it is important you do the type of meditation with which you get more benefit.

I hope this helps you to be more productive! Check my post on productivity too.

https://lookingformorethanjob.blogspot.com/2019/06/tips-of-productivity.html

Solving very complex situations

Analysis and synthesis. Creativity and organization. Reflection and contemplation. Action and more action…

There are so many ways to solve situations that emerge, however as time go by, these are becoming more and more complex, and the used and overused old formula does not work at all times.

These new circumstances require a new approach. One possibility is to explore a spiritual perspective and here are some ways:

• Experiencing a stage of detached observer. Connecting to the self helps into watching whatever is happening with detachment, as if it is someone else doing. The easiest way is just to be aware of the present environment a person is for one minute, focusing on the present.
• Meditation, contemplation or reflection. Focusing the mind into something that is beyond the physical helps get in touch with spirituality and, eventually, to find solutions for very complex situations. There are many ways to use any of these tactics, but you may want to check the Brahma Kumaris' way, which is my own method of meditating.
• Yoga and deep focus. No need to forget about all that is around, but by doing yoga or simply focusing deeply into something else, different than the circumstances, it helps the self to find a deep solution, reaching into the roots and seeds.
• Prayer from the heart. When prayer comes from within, the mind gets clear and it is possible to take hard decisions. It is important to not recite old prayers learnt by heart or, if it is so, feel them.

Different ways of loving others

Love… that beautiful feeling that unites us all.

Along the years, love has changed its shape and form, manifesting in many different ways and being expressed in various dimensions. And yet, it is still very important.

I must confess I have not dedicated much time to think of love, because I used to feel (in fact, I still feel) love is overused. In fact, it has become synonym of very cheap things in the present society.

About three years ago, I started a reflection process to really understand the power of love. A still on-going practice, I have reached the conclusion that love works well due to three basic elements:

• No conditions. The more unconditional is love, that is, the more you love others no matter what or who they are, more power it will have and so it will perform in an optimum way.
• Dedication. Going into the depth of your love towards others and giving up the things you value when that is necessary – this is dedication, and it increases the intensity of your love.
• Detachment. Although they seem to be opposite, love and detachment must work hand in hand, since this quality gives you the capacity of loving unconditionally.

What does the power of love do? Well, that is for another post, but you may start trying from now on…

The power of reflection

Reflecting is a powerful tool. Before taking over his first term, President Obama talked about in relation to leadership and I guess from time to time all of us start to think on things we have to think about… Clear?

However, the power does not come by thinking or speaking. Reflection is something much more complex and at the same time, very simple to do: you let your thoughts go deep and deep into the roots and branches of any situation.

Still, that concept is not enough. After all, people who are used to brood onto something do that all the time and yet, they don’t look so powerful.

For instance, let’s say your company is starting to cut jobs and yours is in risk. A normal person would probably think something like this:

Oh no, they are going to fire me! What can I do, I don’t have any qualifications!! They can’t do that, can they?

Now consider an optimistic person:

Nah… they are not going to fire anyone. It is just another rumor. How can they fire us, who else are going to do the job? In fact, I think I am about to get promoted…

A reflection process would start like this:

They are firing people… let me understand the owners’ point of view. Of course, they have to save their investment and by cutting some people out, they will save money. However, if they save money like that, the remaining people will get more tired and productivity in the middle term will decrease, causing customers to go for another place.

The three samples are based on real thinking process. The main difference between reflection and other ways is that the person goes into a Detached Observer stage.

It is like playing chess: your strategy only works because you are out of the chessboard. Maybe if you were part of the game, you wouldn’t sacrifice that horse… Reflection means detaching from reality, without ignoring it, and then let your own thoughts go for its solution or conclusion.

Maybe your lifestyle does not allow you to stop and reflect, but at least once a week you just should do exactly that: just reflect about life, understand its process and find the best way to deal with it.