Nobody is to blame…

 

I would like to use this post not so much to explore the topic of guilt, but to give you ideas, so you can explore it yourself.

• Ask yourself: what is the difference between being guilty and responsible?
• When a person is guilty, go to jail, physical or in the public opinion, while a responsible person looks for correcting, amending and overcoming the error.
• When I blame myself, I send myself to a jail in the depth of my mind… No escape!
• When I blame others, I send them to a jail in my mind… They will always be there!
• By blaming others, I am disempowering myself; they are the ones who did it, but I am the one to live with the consequences.
• Blame and guilt are all shields that try to protect us from getting hurt.
• Instead of blaming yourself, change.
• Instead of blaming someone, empower yourself.
• Honesty and truth are the greatest weapons against blaming someone.
• Find protection within you, by using your resilience.
• Find protection in God, by meditating.
• Find protection in others, by talking and having a dialogue.
• Why did this really go bad? An honest answer will help you healing.
• Healing is part of overcoming any sense of blame.
• Mercy is part of overcoming other people’s part in the problem.
• Understanding gives us the full picture, so that we can find solutions, instead of blaming.
• Solutions may not come, but by focusing on them, you will change.
• Forgiveness… it is more beneficial for you than others.
• Forgiveness… opens doors to healing.

Quicksand and slow-sand

I was “playing” with the idea of a quicksand… OK, maybe it is not a nice image as per the general perception, if someone steps on a quicksand, they are swallowed by earth! That’s why the first rule is CHECK THE PLACE WHERE YOU ARE STEPPING.

However, if you do step on a quicksand, slow movements will help and the best you stay quiet, the hardest will be for the quicksand to take you in. Your chances of survival will increase by doing that.

Now, if we think about SITUATIONS as quicksand, we can extract a few lessons and turn it into a slow-sand, a process in which you are changing the pace of life and going deep.

• Always be cautious. If you can foresee a bad situation coming, don’t step into it just like that; wait a bit, reflect, contemplate and meditate… If it is a quicksand – something that will swallow your energy, your potential, or your wealth – don’t step into it. Look for alternatives instead.
• If you are feeling situations are already taking too much from you, slow your movements, that is, be more reflexive and contemplative. Take your time whenever you can and talk with someone you trust about what you are living. Don’t let yourself be dragged by circumstances.
• Silence does three things when situations are like quicksand: 1) silence empowers and so your resilience increases; 2) silence clarifies what you are going through and, in this way, you are not afraid, and 3) silence heals since many times this type of environment may hurt you.

So, are you ready to convert the quicksand of your life into a slow-sand?

True leaders plant the seeds of new leaders - Reason 37

I will tell you one thing: a good leader is one who is capable of bringing up other leaders.   If a leader wants to lead alone, he is a tyrant.   True leadership is fruitful.   Each one of you has the seed of leadership.   The leaders of today will not be here tomorrow.   If they do not plant the seed of leadership in others, they are worthless.   They are dictators.[1]    Pope Francis

Literature often paints our society as a dance between leaders and followers.  As time passed by it turned to be a dance between followers only.  After all, leaders who are not true, they are indeed following someone else.

Whenever there is a leader who is dedicated to a true leadership, it comes from within.  It is based neither on a position in the organisation, nor even on the capacity to influence.  It comes from a conviction that will inspire and create future leaders, not just more followers.

Pope Francis highlights something very important in this quote:  the‘fake’ leaders who are in a certain position in the organisation or have a huge influence on others, are those who tend to create followers who do not question, and who will remain as followers unless they make a conscious decision to free themselves.

In contrast, true leaders will be surrounded by people who empower themselves and choose a clear destiny.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

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[1] Pope Francis.  He mentioned this during a teleconference with students from Havana and New York.  You can see the article at http://www.edition.cnn.com/2015/09/17/world/pope-francis-new-york-cuba-youth/

Laughing at your fears

One of the wonders of Halloween festival is to turn fear into laughter… well, not always, but most of the time this is its effect.

In fact, humor is a very powerful weapon against fear. To laugh or at least to smile at something that scares you, it empowers you.

So, let’s play a bit of a Reflective Halloween:

• Disguise yourself! Whenever you face something that triggers fear in you, just disguise yourself… not necessarily physically. For instance, if you are afraid of what your boss will tell you about that project delay, remember your triumphs and visualize you are the champion with a medal or a laurel wreath … then, talk to the boss!
• Pumpkins with candles! It is part of Halloween to decorate houses in a frightening way, transforming very harmless things – a pumpkin, a candle, a broom – into objects of fear… or power? Yes, instead of FRIGHT these objects have been empowered. So, transform your house in a house of power: your seat is a throne, your table is like King Arthur's Round Table and one of your rooms is a sacred place.
• Myths and legends… It is an important part of Halloween and there is lots of wisdom in that. ALL FEARS come from personal myths and legends, and if you remember movies well, at the end the hero or heroine – YOU! – always win. Next time you experience fear, just laugh at it and remember you are the hero or heroine of your own tale, whatever is taking place, you are the winner!

How to help someone who is far from me…

During this pandemic, I have had many situations in which the people going through problems were far from me, physically, and the problems were very big.

Sometimes, I was able to talk with the person and give some comfort. Other times, I just talked…

And at other times, I’ve failed and probably, I’ve made it worse.

But there is something I am sure it works, ALWAYS: to send good wishes.

It may sound something… ethereal… and I don’t have proof it works, but we may all do a few experiments:

• Think of someone who is in need and who lives far from you. Think of that person in their best, with a big smile and much energy, and do that exercise during some time, at the same time (hour) and for the same length of time.
• When you talk with someone who is in trouble, before talking with that person, do the former exercise, seeing them in your mind in their best. Make sure you are talking with the person in their best moment…
• After talking with someone going through a bad period in their life, take some time out to wish the best to that person, in your heart.
• Don’t forget that you can only help others if you help yourself first, particularly if you are going through a similar scene in the play of your life. Meditate, empower yourself, study, talk with other people and then extend the hand of your ears and heart to others.

Don’t underestimate your own power

When big walls come up in front of you, the only thing you think is a) how to avoid it, b) how to climb it, or c) how to destroy it.

But there are more alternatives to that. Look within and you will find a reservoir of power that has been taking you in this long journey called life.

It is time to use that power to deconstruct the walls, recreating the impact they have on your life, and not avoiding it. Try to face it instead and ask yourself: What newness can I bring on myself to cope with this obstacle?

It is time to use your power to overcome the walls of your life. To climb may be exhausting, but if you are able to fly… Let your mind fly over the obstacle, visualize the end and start developing the qualifications you will need to reach there.

It is time to empower the self and just pass through the wall. If you destroy it, rubbles may prevent you to move forward. So, transform yourself and you will see how much you can go forward.

How does that work? Let’s give 3 examples related to each of the situations:

• I have a very bad sickness and that will change my life to worse. Accept the situation in your heart, talk and promote dialogue with people who can help you and other people with the same sickness. Look at it as an opportunity to try new things in your life and cooperate with others too; that is the most powerful thing you can do, and you really can do it.
• Oh, no, another crisis? In the last one I was working ten hours a day, wonder how many hours I will be working this time… Meditate and recharge the self. Yes, it is a crisis and you can’t just ignore it, but let your mind fly over the situation and see beyond it. By using this technique you will possibly identify some new skills you can develop that will give you an advantage over the crisis, but most important thing is that you will feel empowered.
• I am sure I can destroy this obstacle, I will fight through it and I will defeat this, instead of being defeated. Go and meditate again; more than meditating start a journey of reflection and transformation. Instead of fighting against this wall – which is invisible – connect yourself to that invisible power you have and see how you start to realize better ways of dealing with it. Success comes from empowerment, not fight.

So, I hope this will help you to work with the walls in your life.

The lost key and what you need in order to find it

Many years ago, I heard this story and it touched me.

One day, John was walking back home when he saw his neighbor, Peter, behaving very strangely; he was crawling on the floor, near his house. Even though they were not friends, but out of a community sense, John approached Peter, greeted him and asked what the problem was.

‘I lost my key… I just dropped it somewhere and I can’t find it!’

John decided to help him and, knees on the floor, started to look for it. After some time, however he couldn’t find anything so he asked another question:

‘I can’t find it either… Do you remember where you dropped it?’

‘Yes! I went to my backyard to see something there and I let it fall.’

‘Backyard?’ John looked at Peter with his back straight, but with the knees still on the sidewalk. ‘So, why are you looking for it here?’

‘Well, it is so dark there…’

John got very angry as he thought it was a prank. He got up and went to his home, leaving Peter crawling on the sidewalk.

I asked myself: where is my key, really? And to be honest, I think I have lost many keys along the years.

It is not uncommon people try to avoid the inevitable – acceptance of mistakes and weakness, problems in relationships, stress, bad health – by sticking to their comfort zone. But, of course, you can’t find a key where you did not lose it which creates confusion and a kind of eternal quest.

Now, let’s retell the same story with a different approach.

One day, Peter arrived late at his house. He took out his key and he was about to enter the house, when he remembered he needed to do something in the backyard.

When he went there, it was too dark… ‘I do need to fix this bulb.’ he thought to himself. Carefully, he did what he went there to do and he was about to go toward the front door when he tripped and fall. After getting up, Peter went fast to the front door, determined to fix the bulb.

But tragedy does not come alone; when he was about to open his door, he realized he lost his key.

Because it was dark there, he rummaged around to see if there was anything he could use to illuminate the backyard, when he heard someone coming; it was John, who greeted his neighbor.

Peter called for him and explained his situation.

‘You know what, don’t worry, I will get a lantern and we both go and look for it together.’

Less than 5 minutes later, Peter was able to enter at his house. He took leave from John and at last he went to fix the backyard bulb.

As you can see, the two tales create a total different outcome. What is the difference between them?

The first thing is self-realization. In the second telling, the neighbor realized he lost something important and tried to fix that, instead of going to his comfort zone and pretending he could fix it from there. Even though it is true the front of the house where the street light gave a sensation of security, it didn’t help him to find the key. One of the main results was that he was able to get cooperation from an outsider to solve the whole situation. His attitude was proactive instead of reactive.

The second thing is a sense of self-empowerment. You can read the first tale as a person who is not empowered enough to solve his own problems whilst in the second version, he is the owner of the house and he is the one who has lost the key because a bulb was not working. By taking over that responsibility, he is able to think straight and go for help.

What is that lost key you can now go and claim again, by looking for it in the right place, even though it is a little dark?

From disempowerment to empowerment

I have been working on the topic of empowerment for many years, since I realized the importance of power in life: that’s what we have that comes from within and helps us to defeat obstacles, to reinvent ourselves and to attain success.

However, I have noticed that there has been a decrement in the awareness of power; I would dare to say we are reaching very high levels of global disempowerment. How to turn this around? I would like to explore three of the present paradigms that show disempowerment and how to change that:

• Aloneness and short-term relationships. People are either choosing to live by themselves or they have relationships that last very little time, creating a unique situation for the family-based societies, governments, the economy and many other levels.
• The deep dissatisfaction, from citizens to government officers. In the past, this was a common trace of a dictatorial government, but nowadays even very well consolidated democracies are facing this, which may be considered a worldwide movement.
• The fake media. Instead of a media that covers matters and subjects into their depth, the social network has opened the doors to all kind of information and news are often short and inaccurate, generating the chance for fake news and deepfakes.

Why does this indicate the growing disempowerment and how to reverse this trend?

First of all, the main reason people are alone is not that they don’t need others because they are so satisfied and fulfilled; reality is there is not enough strength to try and live with other people, by accommodating to others’ way of living. One way of solving it is to invest time in developing more assertiveness and dialogue techniques, which will help in creating new bridges between people.

That dissatisfaction also reaches the social level, which used to happen in non-democratic countries and people of democratic countries used to point and say well, that’s the result of dictatorship. By happening in a democracy, it shows people’s disempowerment as the big irony is that people are marching and protesting against people they themselves have put in that position... The empowerment in terms of citizenship comes from developing better criteria to use at time of election and to know more about the government and social structure, so learning ways of promoting change in a more effective way.

Last but not the least, information has always had a deep impact in our mindset and good powerful information helps us to feel more empowered. Let’s add to that truthful; if the news is not real, the effect tends to be the opposite, particularly when facts come out and the person realizes they believed in something false, losing self-confidence. On one hand, control the news that come to you and don’t believe in them just like that; on the other hand, prioritize more in relation to which information is relevant to you, and focus on that, leaving other pieces of data aside.

Techniques that help with productivity: delegation and empowerment

One way to improve your own productivity is to distribute responsibilities and actions around, and this can be done using two techniques. They can be done in different moments or in a sequence, starting with the first one and moving to the second one, according to the time, process maturity or simply as an experiment.

The first one is DELEGATION. You know, when a parent sends their kid to the grocery store; the kid is not really responsible yet for the transaction and any mistake he commits it is the parent’s responsibility. Delegation is a very powerful educational tool and it helps to develop a sense of responsibility with the load, particularly the emotional one. But to delegate specially to an adult, it is important:

• To have it clear the responsibility is still yours and any error committed by the person is YOURS, so are you ready for that?
• To never blame the person for a mistake, even though you have explained about it 100 times… Sometimes it takes 101 times to make it perfect.
• You have to do a constant follow-up and check-up of the process; you cannot leave it like that. Meetings are an excellent method for it.
• To sustain the person not only as a professional, if that is the case, but also as an individual. Talk with them, listen to them and encourage them.

DELEGATION is often used in a boss-employee, parent-child or teacher-student situation, that is, when it is very clear the other person is not capable for any reason to take over a responsibility. But, what happens when they are expert?

EMPOWERMENT is a technique used to basically create new leaders or at least new bosses. It is when the child is big already and they take over the responsibility of doing the monthly shopping for the house. In this case, empowerment comes as a natural and organic successor for delegation.

But if we are talking about workplace situations or a group of friends, or even within the family but in a different context, empowerment shouldn’t be used lightly. I know many people from a newer generation feel they are expert in some aspects, but experience is not something you can get from a college or by reading something; it comes with time.

This technique implies that the responsibility will be transferred to that empowered person, and so the leader has to have a very good leadership capacity to understand when to empower and we will talk about empowerment later. In terms of productivity, either of them will help you by doing more things in a much better way.

I hope this helps you to be more productive! This was the last one on this series…

https://lookingformorethanjob.blogspot.com/2019/06/tips-of-productivity.html

Self-control, an important ingredient of success

I consider success as a right. If we look around, especially in nature, it is easy to see how successful all species are or try to be. For nature, even failure turns into success – a corpse becomes food, a drought makes room for other species to live in an otherwise very humid area.

For that, in nature, there are laws governing and making everything to happen. There is nothing illegal out there; no matter how strange it looks for us, if we don’t understand it is our fault. Any problem happens and Mother Nature adapts and all goes back to the normal flow.

Self-control acts similarly, helping the person to get rid of rubbish, either in mind or awareness, creating space for learning, which eventually will conduct the person into change and it is an extremely important part of claiming the right to be successful.

After all, there is no success without failure – the only aspect all successful people have in common. With self-control, that failure, problem or crisis turns into an incredible possibility of empowerment.

How to do it? Not repressing, but sensing the path to follow as there is always a North, a situation or a point where your potentials will be fully developed. Not forcing or pushing, but keeping South in mind, the source of your life, represented by your values and principles. Not cursing or weeping, but meditating on the East where the light you have chosen to enter in your life is; and don’t ever regret, but keep the West where logic and intuition coexist.

In this way you will reach your North in time…

Delegate or empower? That is the question…

If you are a boss, manager or have another position of authority (like a parent), let’s admit to ourselves at least: bosses are overwhelmed, stressed and under too much tension. It does not matter the culture of the organization or how things are working (good, bad), tension is taking over everyone. There are too many things to do. Period. So, it does not matter how many seminars or courses you attend, it will never be enough.

However, there are ways to diminish the burden; one of them is to sharing it with others. From the manager’s point of view, there are two easy methodologies that help him or her with it.

Before talking about them, the manager first of all has to understand her or his own team – strengths, weaknesses and their bond as team. Second, he or she needs to have a clear idea of the culture of the organization, and that is very important for this sharing to succeed. Last but not least, the task or project has to be clear for that person.

One technique, tool or methodology is delegation. OK, don’t jump out your seat yet!!! I know, it is as old as the Bible, but the idea is a bit more complex than what is roaming around in the management market, which explains why there is fear from either of the sides to take over on this subject.

When a manager delegates a task or project, or a piece of it to a person or team, she or he is aware of their limitations. To delegate means someone else will act on the manager’s behalf, so the manager is traditionally consider being responsible, but they need to have enough margins for maneuvering particularly when negotiation is necessary, and most of the times, negotiation is necessary.

In other words, it is not because a boss does not like to check on the prices of paper in the market, then he assigns the duty to another person. Neither it is a question of, at the time of choosing whom, the first person coming into the manager’s office will receive a particular job. Both situations are quite common and that is one of the reasons of fear of delegating.

The solution comes from a deep reflection and these questions may help:

• How much do I know the task in hand, its requirements and consequences?
• Knowing the project, who are the people who can be the best option to fulfill with the terms of that project?
• How much do I trust these people and what is the type of bond we have?
• In which extent the rest of the organization will support this team, even though I am behind them?

If what we are talking on delegation looks a little different than many people do around the world, what about empowerment?

In fact the basic premise for that is wrong: everyone has power and nobody can really give power to another person. Empowerment is more a question of helping others to identify their own capacity and potential, allowing them to handle a broad range of situations that go beyond their normal functions.

This time the main difference is the responsibility remains with the team or person in charge and that is a bigger burden for them, but it frees the boss, who will have a role closer to an overseer or a facilitator.

There is a deep reflection needed, and you can use these questions for that:

• I know the task in hand, its requirements and consequences, how is the best way to proceed with that?
• Who are the people who can take care of that project as if it is their own?
• How deep do I know these people and what is the way to increase our bond or relationship?
• In which extent the rest of the organization will support this team and how can I help with that?

Be careful with two deadly sins when you are using empowerment. First, you are a manager, not Pontius Pilates, no washing hands here; even though they are responsible, you still keep some type of responsibility and you will need tools for managing that – like meetings or small reports to check their development.

Second, be aware of signs you have chosen the wrong people or you have chosen people wrongly... Maybe you can train them, maybe not, and it is important to be able to accept your error – not theirs – and move on with the task in hands.

Remember that by doing this you will be relieved of a big part of your tension, which will increase your sense of wellness and it will increase your personal productivity.

The communication power

Who was your favorite super-hero? I am sure you have had one, maybe two or more. Did you know these images were in fact related to yourself? Yes, you were and you are that super-hero...

At least, that was your expectation when you are a child or teenager. Growing up, it is possible you put that aside - like The Incredibles did - and decided to live a normal life. But I am sure very internally you would love that super-power, isn't it right?

I have talked about many powers in this blog and in others works I have done. As a person who felt very much powerless for a big part of my life, to realize my inner powers was and still is fascinating and, well, empowering.

There is one power I did not talk about and in fact, it just occurred to me short time ago: communication power. I am not thinking about those courses given by very-white-full-of-teeth facilitators, but about the power to express what is going on inside you.

It is powerful if you are able to find the right words to say to a person; that word can make his or her life as bright as the sun. Maybe to communicate by smiling, encouraging others to enjoy your happiness too.

Communication is a vast topic. For now, I just would like you to reflect on how your hands give your feelings away, how your thoughts are perceived by other people who react to them. By changing your way of communicating, you change your environment too.

Blessings upon blessings

You have probably felt that when you help someone, you feel very good. Some researches have even pointed to helping others as the best way to deal with depression. And, what is that really?

I have learnt that feeling comes from blessings you get from other people and it is something very valuable nowadays. In fact, we have been seeing the recent protest around the world, where people go to the street to say ENOUGH! There is energy in that act. The same we have seen - fewer times - when people peacefully go to the streets to claim a right.

That energy is not only collective. Any parent knows that when their children is very upset with them, they feel bad, they can't work properly and concentration does not come easily. The opposite, which sometimes people don't notice, is also true: when a parent does something extraordinary for their children, they feel really well and that affects their work and concentration. And that is the power of blessings.

In a world with so many things to do, all the time, blessings can help you to move along a little smoother, more contented and more concentrated. That has immediate effect in your own well being and productivity.

Just do good, help someone, anyone, and experience that power coming to you. Use it especially in very tricky situations in your life and you will feel you can't stop living on blessings anymore.

Self-empowerment

Leadership is a very complex thing, you can talk and write about it for years and still there is always something else to talk about. For instance, what about the fact that leaders today have EVERYTHING, in terms of information, knowledge, etc., and still they make so many mistakes...?

Well, I myself wrote a lot in this blog about it and about some of its by-products. One of them is empowerment.

Empowerment could be seen as the first "taste" someone gets of leadership - it is that moment when your mom trusted in you to buy the right brand of butter, or your boss trusted you that big project. It is different than delegation as in the last one, mom and boss will be hovering around all the time and you will be only their arms, their worker...

A fully empowered person has the chance to practice some leadership and test some concepts too in a quite safe environment, as the final responsibility still will go to mom (if the cake is not tasty, nobody will blame you) an boss (if the project is successful or no, he will be known for that). But it is a good beginning for many people. When you are the leader, success or failure always comes to you.

And that responsibility weights... it is heavier than many burdens. And if you have some personal life, then the burden seems to multiply itself.

As a coach, I have to deal with situations like that from other people. As a consultant, I have to tell others what to do, nice suggestions from a bright mind. As a leader, I have to deal with the situations... myself. And I know how heavy they can seem.

So, it is very important to empower the self too and that has two different meanings: you start to trust yourself in dealing with the situations with whatever you have learned or with advice from people you chose to trust. The second meaning is to fill you with power. Both have the same intention: enable the self to face situations, the burden a leader carries, and to start the self on the pathway towards self-leadership.

Thinking about self-empowerment and its impact in my life, I have difficulties to even imagine myself as a non-empowered person. I have known many like that; for them, life is always threatening, people are always wrong and they are always right. It is the life either of an eternal victim or someone who thinks only his ideas are right, and they are not...

I will mention here what I do for myself. I am sure you can add or adapt that for your own life:

• Meditation. First things first; I need some time with myself, I need to understand what is going on in my mind, why I am having thoughts like these... Meditation is also for me a mean to get the eight powers I need (check my post on 8 attitudes) and a way to relate to God, and other people better. When I meditate, I feel the self, filling with energy, I feel my decisions are clearer and I have the power to implement them.
• Study. Leadership is a road where you have to study forever. Same applies to self-leadership and, of course, self-empowerment. What I have in consideration is that my study is useful, it creates an impact in my life an in others' lives and it "tunes" with me. When I was a high-school student, I used to love Math and hate Biology; the last it was because it didn't "tune" with me. Your study has to respond to questions like "Who am I?" and "What am I doing here?". Of course, it has to help you to solve the riddle "What will I do in this situation?".
• Blessings. Yep, that is it, I live on blessings most of the time. Let me explain what I mean: do you know when you do something good to another person? First, there is the soft sensation inside your mind, the pleasure of helping another human being. Second, there is a subtle energy you will feel, probably later and when you are under stress that will help you to overcome it - that is what I mean by "blessings". It empowers the self because it gives us a relief during moments when otherwise you would feel the pressure.

When you are a fully empowered person, the world will change around you as there won't be anything you can't do and your leadership will be a real one, as you would have started with yourself.

A personal model of self-leadership

For me, self-leadership is the key to everything in terms of managing your own life.

Along the years, I have been working on several models of self-leadership. And I know this is something that won't end today... But, as it is for today, this is my present model, and its outcomes:

• My self-leadership is based in a model of 8 basic attitudes. I call them "spiritual powers", and I have written a book on that in Spanish and Portuguese.
• I understand self-leadership as the basis of actual leadership. When problems arise, I always look at the leadership that comes from inside.
• Empowerment is key, and self-empowerment is irreplaceable. I get that from 3 main sources: meditation, constant study and blessings (yeah, you heard right!).
• Blessings are the main fruit of self-leadership. It means a positive and powerful energy that comes from other people as a result of your service to others, and it is a complement to self-empowerment.
• Checking. Nothing is perfect, a leader of the self is always checking the self.
• Changing and transforming. To be a leader of the self means to change from your own will and to embrace transformation as a positive step, always.

I will be talking about each item later. Take care.

Honesty that touches the heart

If there is something I have never learned was how to read a newspaper. Yes, I know how to read, come on! But not a newspaper.

In a plane, the person sitting by my side was reading like a princess. After she finished, I noticed with certain envy as the newspaper looked like new. Mine... well, I prefer to not mention its situation. This is why I LOVE reading newspaper via INTERNET.

But, it paid off. I was extremely touched by an article by Mr. Michael Gove, pre current UK Education Minister (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2057850/Michael-Gove-describes-adoption-transformed-life.html). In it, he was counting his own tale of adoption. His own adoption.

Well, how many people acknowledge they were adopted? How many ministers you know would do that? But he did, I must confess I became a deep admirer of him. Not sure if he is a good minister or not, but as a person, he should receive some prize for being a hero. In times when everyone tries to deny and show a different face, his honesty is a fresh sign humankind has hope.

I won't bother you with details you yourself can read, but I just thought about a few points I think anyone should reflect upon and act on them:

• Am I ready to give support for someone who has nothing to do with me? His parents were able to do it. It is not a question of money - in fact, he admits that nowadays, his parents, or people like them, wouldn't be able to adopt anyone. It is more than money. You can call it courage or mercy, they adopt not only him, but also another girl, who became his sister and whose quasi deafness problems were quite serious. As leaders, that is what we do: we have to "adopt" people who, most of the time, don't have much to do with us.
• How can I help in empowering others? Mr. Gove's tale is on love. Not that cheesy romantic love. It is not about Prince Charming. It is about REAL love. It is love that cares and brings up. It is love that educates and respect. It is love that really works, enough to create a minister. Do I love others that much? Because it is that love that will give them power to overcome any situation.
• Will my honesty hurt myself or others I care? It is honesty. As he tells at the beginning, only a few people knew about his situation. He risked his position telling others he was not what he shows (even his name is different). But his honesty conquered me and I am sure, it conquered many others too. We use too many masks. However, more than the honesty, they way he chose to tell his story - he didn't "throw" it over the public, he touched their hearts. Leadership is about values. Vision and purpose, results and strategies can be accomplished by someone with a diploma. But that diploma needs the certificate of values, like honesty, true honesty, tolerance, calmness, love and peace that touch others' hearts.

It is quite possible I will never meet Mr. Gove, his sister or his wonderful parents. But they will live with me in my memories and they will always inspire my own leadership.

Thank you.