Why do we think too much?

A short video I saw many years ago was a pony trying to leave its stable… Hesitation, a bit of fear and FINALLY, after a few anguished moments, it steps out of it. All because of a small step on its way. The theme the person who posted it was OVERTHINKING.

And that may be a problem for ponies, I am not sure, but it is for sure a HUGE problem for everyone.

• We need to take a step, but… can we really do it? Is it safe? What about the safe place I am living right now, it is not that bad, you know? I think this is the wrong direction…
• Or, we need to take a jump, we need a big change to take place in our lives. No, I cannot do this! I am not prepared! My (wife, husband, friend, brother…) told me I wouldn’t be able to do it… It is too much, let me wait a little bit more…
• Furthermore, we maybe need a breakthrough. I prefer to stay where I am, it is not so good, but not too bad either. It is too risky!

Overthinking may be everywhere and I am sure, right now, you are overthinking about something…

Or maybe, I am overthinking about you…

There is not one solution, but a few things you can do:

• If you know you will need something, prepare yourself beforehand.
• If the change is small (a step), choose the best moment to do it. Some will prefer to be surrounded by close friends, others by themselves, the important thing is that YOU TAKE THAT STEP.
• If the change is big (a jump), you need to reflect and contemplate on it, but don’t overcook your decision or as some people say, don’t get paralyzed by the analysis. Probably the best thing is to get help from someone in terms of guidance, resources or a good chat.
• Now, if the change is a transformation, you do need help if that generates storms of thoughts in your mind. Perhaps, ask around to see who has gone through a type of change like that; probably it will different, but there are some lessons you can learn.

I hope that will be helpful.

Was it helpful? Are you sure? I don’t know I think I missed something……..

 

Just kidding! Take care!

When your health makes you anxious

Some time ago, I posted about anxiety and someone sent me an interesting article*; even though it is some type of publicity, and I don’t do publicity, it was a different dimension of anxiety that I didn’t know: when you have a health problem and you are waiting for a diagnostic.

Many years ago, I had a friend how was diagnosed with cancer, which he beat. He was so happy, he called me from the other side of the world to tell me the good news. And then, he started to have some problems again and I remember his anxiety, waiting for the response from doctors. It was not good news, but maybe the anxiety itself was the worst.

In his very influential book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman talks about his own experience when he was sent for a lab to do a test. Because of his background, he knew it could mean cancer… He analysed about the emotions he felt.

A study of patients in physicians' waiting rooms found that each had an average of three or more questions in mind to ask the physician they were about to see. But when the patients left the physician's office, an average of only one and a half of those questions had been answered. This finding speaks to one of the many ways patients' emotional needs are unmet by today's medicine. Unanswered questions feed uncertainty, fear, catastrophizing.

The focus of Daniel Goleman was about a change in the medical people’s attitude, but I think there are a few things we could do to minimize the anxiety that comes when there is something wrong with our body or mind, but there is no clarity about a diagnosis.

1. The first thing is to keep calm. Easy said than done, but meditation and other practices can help.
2. Stick to the facts, don’t overthink or try to be your own clairvoyant. Just wait and see what happens.
3. Talk to very good POSITIVE friends. They will surround you with their positive aura and that will be healing. I had that experience with a lady, a friend’s sister, while she waited for her diagnosis; about 10 people were there in the room with her sharing nice stories and just giving her good company.
4. Read and feed yourself with positive information. Avoid a reading about your current problem as much as possible.
5. At the day of your diagnosis, act normally. Routine has power in these cases and it will help you to focus your mind on the present.

If you or other people have anxiety before a diagnosis, I hope this may help.

 

* About scanxiety - https://www.asbestos.com/blog/2021/07/29/mesothelioma-scans-scanxiety/