Managing this new reality

How do we manage reality? Besides the physiological side ( the way the brain deals with things), a friend of mine once expressed his point of view and it was very interesting: think as if you have a copy of the external things in your mind and when you relate to them, you are doing it with that copy, not with the reality.

Therefore the problems we experience in terms of dealing with situations come from the difference between the real and the copy. An example:

A friend of mine wanted a bike to go to work; eventually he got it, but the real one didn’t work as he was living about 15 Km far plus the traffic… the end of that dream was an accident he suffered.

The bike to go to work was a copy and the 15 Km far plus the traffic was the reality that crushed his dreams.

Now, what happens when there is a new reality? Particularly when the reality is totally new, we come with a similar copy in our minds, an approximate reference, and we relate to it. It comes from (ours and others’) opinions, ideas and past experiences, beliefs and values, personality, will and a personal call. But it is very different from the reality itself, probably much more different than the example before…

Let’s imagine there is a big sale of bicycles in a huge store. Immediately, a person sees themselves already mounting a very modern shine bike. They go to the shop and there is a huge queue in front and when eventually they reach the place where to get the bicycle, the only thing remaining is not modern, not at all shining…

Another way is to not let yourself be convinced by the copy you carry in your mind. Instead you challenge your perception and you are able to align the copy with the real thing.

Instead of let yourself being fooled by the sale of bicycles, you research more and you are able to find the perfect bike – as perfect as possible – at some shop. You are aware it is not exactly what you wanted, but the price is good and for now, that will be it.

It is not as easy as it sounds, since it means you have to challenge opinions, ideas, past experiences, beliefs, values, personality, your will and call… But you can do it.

Particularly with the new reality we are all living, the best thing is to stop for a moment and align the inner copy with the reality. A few powerful questions may help you:

• Why am I feeling like this? What is the real cause?
• If I don’t like something, what is it possible to get that comes closer to what I like? What should I do to make it happen?
• When it is impossible to live with the reality, what can I do to cope with it? If I can’t cope, what is the alternative I can live, so that I don’t suffer?

 

Do you believe in beliefs?

Many years ago, I was talking with a friend and at some point, he stated that I don’t believe in anything, instead I have knowledge… And my response was well, that is your belief…

That’s why you like something or someone, and you dislike other things and people; that’s why you are committed to some tasks and in relation to other tasks, you are fully lazy… Beliefs and beliefs.

Beliefs guide us every time and everywhere, you can’t simply avoid it or refuse its directions. Ok, maybe you can, by your will power, society or peer pressure, but it will be temporary and probably it will require a very powerful reason for that.

Probably the best thing to do in relation to beliefs is to understand them better. I have a video on the topic, but in general terms:

• Beliefs are not born by themselves; they come during our process of creating the personality and our value system.
• Normally beliefs are inculcated during infancy and childhood by a person’s family.
• However, families are not the only source. There are religions, spiritual groups, school system, community and society. Later in life, there is still some room to create more beliefs from the influence that comes from media, workplace or a group of friends.
• Most powerful than all is the belief that is created from a person’s own reflection. This self-generated belief is rare and since it is very precious.

You may notice two main flaws in this: first, most beliefs are created in a certain environment; second, they are created during a certain period of time. That means if we change environment or period of time, something that everyone does, the belief may not be right in a different circumstance. At least, it will be outdated.

If a belief is wrong or outdated, how to change it? The only efficient way is to create a new belief through a deep reflection. Besides, the person has to experience it in life and feel the attainments that come from it.

This new belief will be so powerful that will displace other similar views, allowing the individual to break their limits and experience achievements in other ways.