You are someone’s hero and the secret for your success is…

Someone out there is looking at you, they are taking their steps by following you and they quote whatever they hear from you. They may be a relative or friend, perhaps they work with you or they live nearby; you are a hero for them.

What about refining the hero you already are? There are of course lots of trainings you can do, but here is a short list of things you can work, so that your heroism inspires many people to be heroes themselves:

• Egoless. This is a stage of the mind and awareness, but in practice it means to not take credit, share credit with others and be reflexive in relation to whatever happened, accepting errors.
• Knowledge. A leader is the one who is full of knowledge in such an extent that knowledge turns into wisdom… That is the point in which a leader becomes a hero!
• Humility. This is the key for success, it is that point when there is so much self-esteem that the person can acknowledge how others are better than them without loosing the fact they are a hero.

The ultimate failure

Failure scares people. That’s the reason many people decide to not even try, so they don’t get defeated, particularly in the present society we live.

After all, we live in the society of the SUPERSUCCESSFUL!

Yes, everyone shows their success, their attainments and achievements. Many years ago, there was a video that went viral about life according to Facebook, showing a man who was passing through troubled times and decided to cheat a little bit, only showing the best parts of his (pretended) life. My best scene is when he takes a selfie after running many kilometers, which was false as he took the car to go there… All went crumbling down after his wife cheated on him and he started to share his real mental state, and he lost all his friends…

That means failure is dangerous, it means I will be left alone, because nobody likes a loser! Let’s dive deeply into failure:

• First, there is real failure, that is, a failure that can’t be hidden away, because you did lose your job or you were not able to get that in which you invested so much money to work. a beautiful feature of us humans is that we can keep trying and trying again, just like that song from Shakira, Try Everything.
• Second, there is failure, but after a while, turns into success! My case is probably exceptional; I was always a good student at high school, but my last year there was a year of doubts and an inner struggle of sort, so I lost my position. A colleague, by the end of that year, came to me bragging as he was able to secure a good number, MY NUMBER, so, he was better than me. It was military school and the tradition was that we would close our presence in high school by going to a military camp, EXCEPT those who got into the first 10 positions. In other words, I was going and my colleague would not go. My failure however changed, because the rules changed; although I couldn’t get a position according to the old rules, under the new rules, I did get a number amidst the 10 first numbers! And I was so happy!!! Many times in life, waiting turns failure into success, just wait.
• Then, there is the possibility to look at failure with a different attitude. For instance, it was not failure, it was learning… Failure is often a powerful motivator for improvement and there are certain very valuable values, like humility, that can be assimilated in an easy way by failing.

In other words, embrace failure and change it into something that will take you into success.

A life-long learning process

To have a dynamic life, full of energy and meaning, it is important to understand that this is the greatest university!

Every day, every moment, at every interaction or chance to contemplate, you and I are learning. There is no ending for that.

So, I would like to suggest you two things.

First, always be OPEN TO LEARN. This requires humility and self-esteem, kindness and courage, and most importantly, the deep desire to progress.

Second, always be OPEN TO SHARE. You will need to feel the pulse of the person with whom you are sharing, teaching, coaching or mentoring. You will have to go beyond knowledge and trust your own wisdom. And share with generosity, openness, mercy and love.

We are sharing the same classroom, let’s make the best of it.

 

Victory or defeat

Victory or defeat is a relative perception. An example is given by Peter Drucker, the famous consultant and guru, about a leader who overstepped his faculties and tried to get advantage of a situation. It was clearly unethical and Drucker shows how the leader got his victory, only to turn into a horrible defeat a few years later and his leadership ceased to be considered magnificent.

In a very recent spiritual class, I was touched by a point that stated a short-term defeat can be a long-term victory.

Common people often don’t think in these terms - victory or defeat - but that’s our lives: “I have got this job”, “I lost that client”, “My friend stopped talking to me”, “My child got the best marks at college”, and so on.

Sometimes we win.

By working on our awareness, we are able to take the maximum of our victories in such a way that we can win again in the future. Besides, we may inspire others to win and, last thing, if for any reason our victory meant a defeat for another person, we can help the other one to feel OK, process what happened and be victorious next time.

Sometimes we lose.

• We can always do alchemy and convert defeat into victory by:
• Learning a powerful lesson that empowers the self for the future.
• Imbibing a few useful qualities like humility, which otherwise wouldn’t come to our lives.
• Changing defeat into a step closer to victory, as there is always a valuable experience that comes with defeat.

Translating that into our lives:

• “I have got this job.” I will work in a very effective way, being aware that I am inspiring others too. If, for any reason, someone I know lost an opportunity like this, I will find a time to talk with the person and see how to help them.
• “I lost that client.” It is time for deep reflection, to understand what happened, maybe to talk with a friend, my boss or a coach about it. And move on! There are more clients out there.
• “My friend stopped talking to me.” I will make some time to try and talk to them, by using honesty and kindness. Meanwhile, I will send them best wishes and positive thoughts.
• “My child got the best marks at college.” I will celebrate along with them, but I will be clear my love for them is not conditioned to whatever happened in their lives; I love them as they are.

I wish you the best victory, a real victory.

How to open the door of your learning?

Being an autodidact at some point was something as strange as the word itself; there has always been, but not many.

One of the reasons is that the Western teaching system has highly valued the role of the teacher, professor or guru and in some places or environments, it feels like there is no way to learn something without someone else teaching you.

Of course it is valuable to have a teacher, but today, in such a complex society and with so many learning needs, there are not enough teachers and YouTube, books, countless websites as well as many other platforms have become teachers in an unofficial way, training us to deal with new laws or how to plant carrots at home...

However, it doesn't matter if there is a teacher literally in front of you, a young girl with dyed hair talking on your computer screen or a fascinating book, the key to learning will always be YOU.

You and your mental openness, your thirst for knowledge, your desire to learn even while making mistakes... If we could use an analogy, we would say that learning is opening a door and no matter how splendid this methodology is or how necessary the subject is, that knowledge will not get in if the door is closed.

And although there isn't really a method that teaches you to open it, there are three elements that I think will help you learn anything:

• To give importance to the topic by learning, without exaggerating or minimizing.
• To be very humble, patient and determined since many of today's learning topics are updates of what you already know or not all methodologies give results in the time you expect.
• Practice a lot what you learned.

                                                                                                                                  

Let's look at the following scenario: you want to learn a new language.

• What will you learn it for? This question will open the perspective of importance, because if there is not really a strong or necessary reason, it will be difficult for you to separate the time and energy to learn. Another question you can ask is: Really, how long can you live well without knowing this?
• Second, be open to what they will teach you. In this case, it is fundamental that the apprentice gives his teacher time, because not all methodologies come out teaching you what you want immediately. If you want to confirm the validity of the methodology, talk to other students or people you know who are similar to you and reconfirm.
• Finally, find ways to practice. You can even go somewhere to volunteer and teach children this language you are learning. To teach always helps to strengthen what has been learned.

You live in a palace of mirrors – Reason 75

Life is like a game of living mirrors and knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly, we replicate others’ gestures, expressions and their way of life.  At times; at other times, they replicate ours…

Normal people don’t like that idea as they thrive to be genuine, but this is not something to be afraid of, after all we are part of a whole.

Leaders go beyond copying as they learn from others and they are comfortable with that.  Although many people have the idea leaders always lead by themselves, going through a unique pathway, it is not totally true…  Most of the time, they are following a path someone else has designed.

When it is time for a leader to be an example for others, she or he is always ready in their awareness and attitude.  They do it not out of arrogance, but as a means of gratitude, paying forward all the lessons they have learned.  They do it because they know they are designing a path for others to follow.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Leaders have no impossible obstacles – Reason 39

A leader never sees an obstacle as impossible.  Maybe it will take time and the leader will have to learn many new things to overcome it, but nothing is impossible.

There are several reasons for that, all related to a leader’s wisdom.  First, a leader won’t get into a situation without having the resources, skills or need.  His or her discernment is very sharp and is able to identify this at the onset.

Second, if it does happen that a leader is going through a circumstance that is beyond her or his capacity or resources, she or he will be humble and eager to learn how to win this particular batter, by asking for help or trying harder.

And yet, if not even that makes things possible, a leader is humble enough to accept defeat, embrace it and turn it into a victory through having learnt something useful for the future.

 (Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Your example convinces others - Reason 3

Convincing others to do something is a big part of doing your job as a manager or being a parent, which is not an easy duty; you don’t have even the option of yelling at them!  Frustrating, right?

It would be if you were not a leader.  But as you are, it is a wonderful challenge you accept from the heart, because there is the understanding that there is no need to convince anybody. Besides, it is a waste of time.

Your way of dealing with others is based on your life and that is your main power: you are an example for others.

Giving example is a task in itself because it does not work automatically.  A model takes time to have the desired effect and the reason is very simple: everyone has their own way of doing things.

So, when people see someone doing the same thing but in a different way, there is a clash between the way I do and the way others do.  A leader solves this conflict by either giving them proof their way is the best, or by being humble enough to accept others’ way.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Coordinating others

There is a big range of possibilities when you talk about a person in a position of being a chief: chief, boss, manager, supervisor, overseer, etc.

But a few publications and articles talk about the fine art of being a coordinator. You see, I have been that for much of my life.

Its concept does not fit into the boss’ idea, neither as a manager, and yet, bosses and managers have a lot to learn from being a coordinator.

It implicates many aspects that may be useful while managing others:

• A coordinator does not own the task and yet he or she is fully committed. That gives them an advantage as they can work with passion, but without attachment to procedures and results.
• The main people in the team are the rest of the team. The coordinator is like the empty space in a bicycle wheel – very important, but that is not why you buy a wheel...
• Coordinators will stimulate creativity, innovation and disruption, and they will use those moments to accelerate any process.
• Rules and regulations will be talked and will be uphold, but people will always come first. If a person breaks them, a coordinator will talk and together they will find a solution.
• Coordinators are measure for more than a task success: her or his people’s satisfaction will be equally important.
• The relation between a coordinator and the stakeholders is one of respect and humility.

About coming back to work

As I said in a former post, this blog was designed because of my lack of proper work. Something happened in my life, and companies were not calling me for help. In fact, they were not calling me for anything, really.

I really had the opportunity, the golden chance of learning that having a job is more than working, and that is the reason of this blog.

Now, work is coming back. Slowly, but steady, I am being called by many companies to help them. They are still small projects, but for me they are BIG, because they are a direct fruit of a long work on my own self.

Then, I see other issues emerging, and I feel it is good to revise them, turning them in valuable lessons others can be benefitted:

• The need of having humility and high self-esteem. Working with spirituality, I always know and talk about to have the balance between these two qualities, but I have been faced with them a lot. After all, you cannot tell others something you are not doing, but you have to value your conquests and ideas, as they are your real wealth. As a consultant, one of the techniques is to share examples, and sometimes you think your examples are good, when they are not. But at other times, your example will be the perfect one for the situation, be ready to know the difference.
• The need of researching and studying. One of the opportunities I've got was to deliver a course that I did not do for at least TEN YEARS! It evolved, and I realised (unfortunately, during the same course) that I should study more and research more. One of my mistakes would be too embarrassing, if it was not noticed by a good friend, who did not push.
• Focus, more focus. During my time without job, I generated around 10 areas of work. But, as I am performing again, to keep up with 10 areas of work is not easy, and it would be stressing in the long term. With the help of a coach, I was able to group those 10 areas in... well, 7 areas... As you see, I am still working on that focus.
• CLEAR AIM. I've put myself an immediate aim - 10 days of work! And that is what I have got. So, I have to clear my aim a little bit, remind myself the year has 365 days and my life won't finish on 2012, no matter what fake Mayans are saying. So, don't talk about such a short aim, rather than that plan it better.
• Don't lose courage. When I am working, I feel sometimes a little "rusty". Courage is needed to keep on doing, to just keep on performing and little by little rust will fade away eventually and you will see your optimum performance coming back.
• Don't be afraid of checking yourself. It is harsh. That course with my friend... my God, he was calling me apart, telling me what was wrong with me, with no mercy. And that was wonderful. You do need to check yourself, or being checked by someone else, so that you can improve.

Take care and keep on moving.