Living with different people

One thing about past stories was how they used to portray completely different characters meeting at some point and even getting married.

It seems a collective dream our society has experienced is to have different people living together in harmony… But, I think we can all agree that is not easy.

As reality knocks at our door, we have two basic options: trying to avoid different people as much as possible or to face and embrace them. Unfortunately, the first option seems to be the highest ranked.

We do live in a lonely world. Internet has united us, but it also has divided us, splitting us in different categories and replacing the need for physical contact with cyber love. And many will say it is working!

What will be the impact of that in the future? It is hard to predict, but we are able to visualize the first effects of that when we see a group of friends meeting together without talking with each other, keeping themselves busy with their own phone…

A similar situation has happened with cars. If you go to any big city in the world, you can check on the huge number of one-person cars roaming around our roads, and it does not matter how much some politicians or activists try to convince people to use public transport, it looks like more one-person cars emerge!

So, what will be the future if we keep moving on this lonely pace?

What about the second option? Why is it so hard to face other people and embrace their reality?

For years now I live in a different culture. So, talking about different people is easy for me. Even after decades it is not simple for me to just accept some of the things others do.

What has helped me is the awareness that we can always learn, and we can only learn when the other person has something different… yes, you cannot learn from equals.

Ok, you may learn from equals how to talk or walk, but I guess you went over that period of your life, right? After your basic learning is done, you need people who don’t think like you, who don’t talk like you and who don’t behave like you to learn important things in your life.

The reason is that LEARNING MEANS CHANGING and changing means challenging something you think it is normal. It is like when you are an expert in what you work or you have a deep realization; that challenge helped you to change, that is, to learn.

And challenges only happen when others are different than you. Or, when you are among equals, you start to experience that part of them, which is different than you – after all, ALL OF US is different among each other.

There is something more: perfection does not come with being surrounded and protected in a comfort zone. You will become better as you complement yourself with other’s specialties, virtues or values. That is the treasure I have found here in Colombia or interacting with people from so many cultures… I feel I am being complemented, I am not by myself anymore and I am a better person when I allow that complement to become part of me.

So, don’t turn another person away just because he does not share your values or behave in a weird way… On the contrary, open your mind and let that difference be life a fresh breeze, cleaning the air of your mind and spirit and helping you to be the great wonderful person you are.

Are you really learning?

One of the best moments many people celebrate is the end of school, college or any form of institutionalized teaching system. That joy may come because of success, the feeling of conquest or the at least it is over feeling.

However, learning is bigger than that and starts from birth, ending in death. All the time there is something to be learned, something to assimilate from the environment, news or personal experiences.

In all researches, nobody has found a limit for learning, except in the will from the learner and his or her preparedness for that. And this is the point…

Many people several times use the word learning in a very casual way, like when they go through a tough period. They make a mistake or they say I learn something every day. Let’s understand something… Learning means change; so, if anyone has learned anything, that means they have changed even slightly.

When you learn that the square root of 4 is 2, your brain changes and that almost absurd discovery helps you to create a trait of personality so that when you face a problem you don’t sum or rest only, but you try the square root too… that means, you try to find the reasons that situation is happening, instead of just find a simple solution. So, yes, maths changes you and anything you really learned does the same.

Not all situations are used for learning – not that they don’t have something others may learn from it. It is just that learning implies change and for that change to happen you need a few things:

• A complete or partial understanding of whatever you are learning from, different from the understanding you have up to that moment. Different means contents, form or attitude.
• To reflect on the situation, by going beyond the actual facts and seeing either the big picture or focus on something in particular.
• To stop and check the self, looking for the change that situation helped you to bring about.
• The last thing is not obligatory, but quite useful: to verbalize the change that happened in you, the learning you have assimilated, by writing or talking to other people. Then you can help other people to learn the same.

So, next time you want to tell others you have learned something, check with this list if you REALLY have learned it… If not, by doing the checking, you would probably learn anyway.

Your generosity is required at your work

According to reports and observations, sometime ago, life and work were completely separated… Every Monday, you would give up on your life until Friday when you would resuscitate. Of course, along the years, people had glimpses of life during the evenings, but still it was not enough…

A few decades back, someone had the strange idea that work is part of life. Even without proper confirmation, people started to assimilate that concept by changing the rules of work and being be more humane there.

Even crazier, someone talked about values and love AT THE WORKPLACE CONTEXT. Absurd, right?

Anyway, nowadays it is considered by many that work is part of life and so, there is no real separation between both. That means all that love and dedication you have your family, or all that fun and sharing you have with your friends, you should also have something similar for your job, enterprise or work project.

It is a change of attitude that is not yet registered in our general culture (take Dilbert for instance). But it is growing and dominating the general landscape of society.

A good worker, a good employer or an excellent entrepreneur is valued not only for his or her achievements, but also on how they behave in relation to the whole community. It is expected some volunteering work or donation, some care about animals or plants, or at least a different behavior, with more values there.

A few years ago, while working at a company with a team, our leader started to have some headache. With no questioning, the rest of us took over her duties and responsibilities and we all insisted she should leave and go home, since she had an operation just a few weeks ago. That was just one case among many I have been seen.

There is a logical background that favors the company: by showing mercy on an employee, the rest of us felt motivated to work even harder, with the certainty something similar would happen to us if we were the ones to get sick.

But, beyond logic, by integrating work with life we opened a door for deeper reflections on human behavior and communities in general. Qualities as generosity, solidarity or patience are now important at places we normally don’t associate with those values.

Yes, being a good person is not enough to get a job or to keep one, but being a bad person is enough to lose one.

So, think about that, reflect on the invisible power of being generous, showing solidarity or expressing patience with another co-worker, customer or provider. It is important for your own career and the community where you live. And work, of course…

The blessing of obstacles

We want an easy life. Some people would say that is the law of nature to flow where there is less effort, and we humans relish the benefit of that law.

However, a reality you can observe is that the same obstacle affects different people in dissimilar ways and one of the reasons for that is how you see that test in your life.

It is like a game: you will only appreciate it when you have the right attitude with which you see it as it is, just a game, something to be enjoyed not to cause sorrow. And yet, a game will be much more fascinating if you keep the desire to win it… That is the game paradox and its effect on us.

Bringing it to life, when you see things happening that are not good, with a vision of benefit and enthusiasm, that will create in you the same wonderful effect of a very good game: enjoyable, but you are there to win it!

Obstacles are a blessing in disguise as they enable us to go over our own lethargy and experience life in a whole new level. Of course, too many blessings can’t be good…

And if you feel overwhelmed with obstacles, look for help, something that is always available. Otherwise, just enjoy the ride!