A leader can always forgive… - Reason 6

It is generally accepted the power of forgiveness:  it heals and it creates an impact on different levels, even on the economy of places torn apart by civil wars or different upheavals[1].

But there are not many people who are able to forgive others.  When they do, they may do it for some people, but not everyone; even then, just some times, not always.  And if you coexist with other people, you probably agree that everyone makes a mistake from time to time and lots of people make mistakes many times…

That is why it is so good to be a leader, as there is the possibility of forgiving everyone as we live in a state of co-dependency, and leaders are a fundamental part of that.

It does not mean that a leader won’t supervise or correct something that is wrong, but his or her heart keeps clean in relation to that person and there will be always another opportunity for the other one.

Maybe It sounds as something impossible or saintly, but it is not like that.  On one hand, there is a practical reason for a leader to forgive and leave the doors open to others: the need of people, good and skilled people, pushes leaders to be pragmatic and invest more of their time and energy in training and education.

On the other hand, by forgiving a person there is an example for others who won’t fear to make mistakes, after all, if you really want to be innovative and do great things, errors are part of the process.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

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[1] The Role of Forgiveness in Reconstructing Society After Conflict.  https://sites.tufts.edu/jha/archives/140

Coordinating others

There is a big range of possibilities when you talk about a person in a position of being a chief: chief, boss, manager, supervisor, overseer, etc.

But a few publications and articles talk about the fine art of being a coordinator. You see, I have been that for much of my life.

Its concept does not fit into the boss’ idea, neither as a manager, and yet, bosses and managers have a lot to learn from being a coordinator.

It implicates many aspects that may be useful while managing others:

• A coordinator does not own the task and yet he or she is fully committed. That gives them an advantage as they can work with passion, but without attachment to procedures and results.
• The main people in the team are the rest of the team. The coordinator is like the empty space in a bicycle wheel – very important, but that is not why you buy a wheel...
• Coordinators will stimulate creativity, innovation and disruption, and they will use those moments to accelerate any process.
• Rules and regulations will be talked and will be uphold, but people will always come first. If a person breaks them, a coordinator will talk and together they will find a solution.
• Coordinators are measure for more than a task success: her or his people’s satisfaction will be equally important.
• The relation between a coordinator and the stakeholders is one of respect and humility.

Bringing Emotional Intelligence into life

When the concept of Emotional Intelligence was exposed in a book, many years ago, it was such a novelty that it seemed everybody was speaking about it. But one thing I’ve noticed: very few were working on that.

Many years later, emotions are on the top – just look at the present headlines and you can see emotions. Look at your workplace and check the emotions present there. What about your family?

So, can we work on that emotional intelligence now?

According to Daniel Goleman, it means basicly 4 things:

• To know your own emotions.
• To know how to deal with them.
• To know others’ emotions.
• To know how to deal with them.

It seems easy enough and yet, its impact may change lives. Why? Emotions are a shortcut at times of reaction or decisions, bypassing the need of reasoning and reflecting, and going into the action in hand. By knowing your own or others’ emotions, an individual is able to understand that and help reflection and reasoning to meet the emotions.

For instance, if someone just wants to marry another person he just met one week ago, it will be difficult to talk the person out of it, but using creative techniques like storytelling or even a little role play it is possible to awake the reasoning behind the decision and help the person to think it over.

How do you manage emotions? As any management acting, first you need to know them. Then, you need to have some skills, techniques or a relevant education that enables you to deal with them.

However, good managers don’t simply deal with things, they attain success by using energy in a very effective way, comparing to results. So, it is not only techniques that will help convincing another person to not get married yet, many other things are required, like: empathy, spirituality would be helpful, listening to the other’s point of view, etc. Developing emotional intelligence is a very effective way to live better and help others to live better too.

My message here is simple: dust your favorite Emotional Intelligence book and use all that knowledge into your day-to-day life.

Management with open ears and eyes

A good management process starts from ears and eyes.          

Ears help the manager to listen to others. After all, hearing others is easy, if you have the physical capacity, but listening to people is something else as it requires attention and focus. Dynamic listening, a particular technique, requires the manager to turn into a coach so that he or she may help others to express their own feelings and emotions, dreams and tragedies.

Eyes help the individual to see people in a different perspective. Yes, being a manager is a job and as such, that person is expected to judge, evaluate and assess their employees all the time, but by opening eyes of understanding, a manager is able to catch signs of a talent, the possibilities of a change and the brilliance everyone has. A closed-eyes manager will just check the job; by going deep and opening eyes, the manager checks potentials too.

Both will help a boss to direct people’s energy in a direction that will be satisfied to the same person, the boss and others too. It also helps to fill the gap between management and leadership. So, open your eyes, open your ears, and let your world changes…

Beyond praise: motivation without carrots or sticks

An old paradigm to handle people is the famous (or infamous) carrot or stick: the other does good, a reward comes; if he or she does it badly, then the stick beats them.

Well, you cannot say it did not work, as it lasted for a very long time and it is still present at many companies even today. Not far ago, Ken Blanchard has launched a book called Whale Done!, humans are compared with, well, you can guess – Whales! More specifically, killer whales.

However, most people are a little more difficult to be handled, or manipulated, than whales and there are various reasons for that:

• As humans, we are a very complex species. Sometimes carrots work, others don’t, because what really stimulates us to do something is normally beneath many other supposed reasons.
• So, praise has different effect in different people. For instance, it may help someone to perform better next time, but it is just a temporary incentive. Besides, the next time praise comes, it has to be stronger than its former version to make someone perform better.
• At some situations, praise does not work. If you are very good at what you do in terms of skill or dedication and someone praises you for something you already know you do well, so the effect is small as it is just an acknowledgment or credit, which should be given ALWAYS no matter what.
• For some people who are extremely good, they are not expecting praise, but they prefer to receive realistic feedback, quite often negative and so called stick; in this way, they can improve and reach excellence. In these cases, sticks are carrots.

Better, if someone does something exceptional, a big clap, flowers, chocolates or a nice meeting works very well. Also, people are much more informed nowadays and they don’t need praise as they used to, because they know what they are doing and its quality. Of course, as a rule, we should always acknowledge and give credit.

Based on this, what do people like you and me really need, in terms of motivation from our own managers or leaders?

• A leader should always be attentive to other people’s development, helping them to improve their skills. One-to-one meetings or powerful messages do the work very well.
• If someone is performing well, but the manager or leader feels this person is stuck into a particular level, training may be the solution. If the person is in a management position, a coach is needed to help clarifying their needs and the solutions.
• Space. Have you ever been to Google’s office? They give people space so they can create, make lots of mistakes and come with wonderful ideas.
• Failure isgood. For long and middle term, the fact the other has failed means they have tried. If the failure is big, that only means they tried A LOT. It is time for some guidance, a nice talk and let the other reach success, a place you can’t go without having failed a few times.
• Time. A person is as productive as his mind is free. Sometimes, the individual needs a time off, a moment to recover or get his ideas together.

Delegate or empower? That is the question…

If you are a boss, manager or have another position of authority (like a parent), let’s admit to ourselves at least: bosses are overwhelmed, stressed and under too much tension. It does not matter the culture of the organization or how things are working (good, bad), tension is taking over everyone. There are too many things to do. Period. So, it does not matter how many seminars or courses you attend, it will never be enough.

However, there are ways to diminish the burden; one of them is to sharing it with others. From the manager’s point of view, there are two easy methodologies that help him or her with it.

Before talking about them, the manager first of all has to understand her or his own team – strengths, weaknesses and their bond as team. Second, he or she needs to have a clear idea of the culture of the organization, and that is very important for this sharing to succeed. Last but not least, the task or project has to be clear for that person.

One technique, tool or methodology is delegation. OK, don’t jump out your seat yet!!! I know, it is as old as the Bible, but the idea is a bit more complex than what is roaming around in the management market, which explains why there is fear from either of the sides to take over on this subject.

When a manager delegates a task or project, or a piece of it to a person or team, she or he is aware of their limitations. To delegate means someone else will act on the manager’s behalf, so the manager is traditionally consider being responsible, but they need to have enough margins for maneuvering particularly when negotiation is necessary, and most of the times, negotiation is necessary.

In other words, it is not because a boss does not like to check on the prices of paper in the market, then he assigns the duty to another person. Neither it is a question of, at the time of choosing whom, the first person coming into the manager’s office will receive a particular job. Both situations are quite common and that is one of the reasons of fear of delegating.

The solution comes from a deep reflection and these questions may help:

• How much do I know the task in hand, its requirements and consequences?
• Knowing the project, who are the people who can be the best option to fulfill with the terms of that project?
• How much do I trust these people and what is the type of bond we have?
• In which extent the rest of the organization will support this team, even though I am behind them?

If what we are talking on delegation looks a little different than many people do around the world, what about empowerment?

In fact the basic premise for that is wrong: everyone has power and nobody can really give power to another person. Empowerment is more a question of helping others to identify their own capacity and potential, allowing them to handle a broad range of situations that go beyond their normal functions.

This time the main difference is the responsibility remains with the team or person in charge and that is a bigger burden for them, but it frees the boss, who will have a role closer to an overseer or a facilitator.

There is a deep reflection needed, and you can use these questions for that:

• I know the task in hand, its requirements and consequences, how is the best way to proceed with that?
• Who are the people who can take care of that project as if it is their own?
• How deep do I know these people and what is the way to increase our bond or relationship?
• In which extent the rest of the organization will support this team and how can I help with that?

Be careful with two deadly sins when you are using empowerment. First, you are a manager, not Pontius Pilates, no washing hands here; even though they are responsible, you still keep some type of responsibility and you will need tools for managing that – like meetings or small reports to check their development.

Second, be aware of signs you have chosen the wrong people or you have chosen people wrongly... Maybe you can train them, maybe not, and it is important to be able to accept your error – not theirs – and move on with the task in hands.

Remember that by doing this you will be relieved of a big part of your tension, which will increase your sense of wellness and it will increase your personal productivity.