Send me a text!

Ah, communication nowadays!

I still remember a scene from my childhood. An adult asked me a question, and my answer wasn't exactly the best. My grandfather immediately raised his voice and made me answer properly.

If that happened today, my reply would probably be an emoji. My grandfather's scolding would likely come as an angry text message, followed by a few letters from me in return. Letters of the alphabet, to be clear.

People often talk about a growing trend of linguistic minimalism. Maybe that's true. Or perhaps it's simply laziness amplified by hyperconnectivity.

That laziness is affecting society in many ways, and one consequence may be what many researchers now describe as a loneliness epidemic. It may take more effort to express yourself in complete thoughts, to make a phone call or to meet someone in person, but those forms of communication are usually healthier and far more meaningful.

Hyperconnectivity makes things even more complicated. I often compare today's communication to a mother with six children, all calling for her attention at the same time. She answers everyone, but briefly, hurriedly, just trying to keep up.

Our phones create a similar experience. Every time we unlock the screen, there are messages waiting, notifications demanding attention and countless distractions competing for a few seconds of our focus. Add our own curiosity - a funny dog video, the latest headlines, an interesting gadget - and it's no surprise that we answer as quickly and as briefly as possible.

Technology has made communication faster. The challenge is making sure it doesn't also make it shallower.

So, what can we do?

I'm not proposing a revolution or a rebellion. But I am concerned about the gradual isolation and superficiality that can creep into our relationships. So, I've been trying a few simple practices.

• Whenever possible, I choose to call or meet in person instead of sending a text. It isn't always practical, but when a conversation can prevent misunderstandings or speed up a decision, a phone call is often the better investment.
• Group chats can be surprisingly inefficient. Reaching a decision becomes difficult when everyone keeps adding messages, voice notes or long explanations instead of using simple tools like polls. Sometimes people end up agreeing simply because they are tired of the conversation or want to avoid conflict. When I notice that happening, I usually wait a day or two before sharing my opinion. It gives everyone - including me - time to think more clearly.
• I do send voice messages, but as sparingly as I can. They require time from people who are probably already busy. If I don't receive a reply, I often follow up with a short-written summary - or better yet, I simply make a call.
• A few years ago, I became aware of the subtle impact our thoughts and feelings have on others. I try to remember that whenever I am communicating remotely. Especially if the conversation is difficult and my emotions aren't at their best, I first try to clean my mind and cultivate good wishes. Whether you're writing a message or speaking face to face, with or without emojis, your inner state always finds a way to reach the other person.

So yes, send me a text if you need to. But whenever the conversation matters, call me instead. Some conversations deserve more than a screen, and some relationships deserve more than a few typed words. 

When Flexibility Becomes the Bond That Unites Us

When I came to live in Colombia, I began learning one of life's most valuable lessons: flexibility. It means being willing to compromise for the sake of better relationships, listening to others, questioning old paradigms and sometimes changing the way we deal with reality.

Over the years, while observing a country often marked by polarization, I noticed something that, at least to me, seemed to hold people together: their natural flexibility. It is not a perfect solution, but it often becomes the bridge that allows people to move forward despite their differences.

For instance, I have a good friend who is really at one of the extremes in terms of ideology, and yet she was open to have a spiritual meditation with someone who is in the other extreme… It is not only functional; they really appreciated each other.

So, sharing from my own observations and experience, here are a few thoughts:

• Being flexible does not mean being permissive. It means knowing your priorities while making room for others.
• Your flexibility will not always be matched by others, but it is often the first step toward understanding and agreement.
• Every negotiation involves giving up something. The key is to let go of what matters least so you can preserve what matters most.
• Flexibility is, in many ways, the art of negotiating your way through life. Let others go first when you can and you will often find they do the same for you when your turn comes.

We all face challenges, and each of us is doing our best to overcome them. Perhaps one of the simplest ways to improve our relationships - and sometimes our lives - is to become just a little more flexible.

To learn, it is not that easy…

 

I remember when I was at school and Brazil was entering the "car age." Almost everyone was buying a car as they were relatively affordable, easy to drive, and even when you changed to a different model, learning to drive it wasn't a big challenge.

Today, we live in what could be called the learning age. The expectation seems similar: learning should be cheap and easy. Cheap... in many ways it is, at least for the average person. Although, if we look behind the scenes, the investment made by companies and governments is enormous. Perhaps one day those costs will come knocking at our door…

But the "easy" part? I'm not so sure.

Take one of the most common devices in our lives: the smartphone. Every model - even within the same brand - is different. Every time we replace one, we have to learn... again.

Or maybe we don't. That is probably the option most people choose. The changes in menus, layouts and features can be overwhelming, so we simply keep using the new phone as if it were the old one. We ignore most of what has changed because, for everyday life, what we already know is usually enough.

There is always a learning curve. It remains relatively gentle if we are happy staying within our comfort zone and using things as we always have.

But if we really want to take advantage of the new possibilities, the learning curve becomes much steeper.

And we are only talking about smartphones. The same is happening in medicine, education, technology, communication and almost every profession. Knowledge is expanding faster than our capacity to absorb it.

It is a paradox - a kind of K-Curve. Learning has never been more accessible, yet meaningful learning has rarely been more demanding.

So, what can we do?

• Understand the purpose of your learning. If you are buying a new phone, spend a little time discovering the features that will genuinely improve your daily life. Perhaps it has an excellent speech-to-text function or a tool that saves you hours every week. Learn what serves you, not everything it can do.
• Focus on what you really need to know. When you have to learn anything, compare different ways of doing it and choose the simplest, fastest and most practical path.
• Learn with discernment. A great course or an inspiring lecture can transform the way we think - and as a business consultant, I strongly believe in lifelong learning. Still, before committing your time, ask yourself three questions:
• Will this change the way I think about or approach my work?
• Will it give me practical tools to improve?
• Am I truly going to use what I learn?
• The first two questions help you evaluate the quality of the learning. The third helps you evaluate its usefulness. If the answer to that last question is a clear "no," perhaps this is not the right time.
• Finally, remember that you do not need to learn everything. Even doctors do not master every disease or treatment before they begin practicing; they continue learning by applying knowledge in real situations. The same is true for almost every field: you need a specific feature on your phone, you can learn it then; you want to build better relationships, you can work on them with the help of a coach. Knowledge grows through use, not merely through accumulation.

Perhaps the greatest skill of our time is not learning more, but learning better. In a world overflowing with information and knowledge, wisdom lies in choosing what deserves our attention, what deserves our time and what deserves a place in our lives.