Don’t underestimate your own power

When big walls come up in front of you, the only thing you think is a) how to avoid it, b) how to climb it, or c) how to destroy it.

But there are more alternatives to that. Look within and you will find a reservoir of power that has been taking you in this long journey called life.

It is time to use that power to deconstruct the walls, recreating the impact they have on your life, and not avoiding it. Try to face it instead and ask yourself: What newness can I bring on myself to cope with this obstacle?

It is time to use your power to overcome the walls of your life. To climb may be exhausting, but if you are able to fly… Let your mind fly over the obstacle, visualize the end and start developing the qualifications you will need to reach there.

It is time to empower the self and just pass through the wall. If you destroy it, rubbles may prevent you to move forward. So, transform yourself and you will see how much you can go forward.

How does that work? Let’s give 3 examples related to each of the situations:

• I have a very bad sickness and that will change my life to worse. Accept the situation in your heart, talk and promote dialogue with people who can help you and other people with the same sickness. Look at it as an opportunity to try new things in your life and cooperate with others too; that is the most powerful thing you can do, and you really can do it.
• Oh, no, another crisis? In the last one I was working ten hours a day, wonder how many hours I will be working this time… Meditate and recharge the self. Yes, it is a crisis and you can’t just ignore it, but let your mind fly over the situation and see beyond it. By using this technique you will possibly identify some new skills you can develop that will give you an advantage over the crisis, but most important thing is that you will feel empowered.
• I am sure I can destroy this obstacle, I will fight through it and I will defeat this, instead of being defeated. Go and meditate again; more than meditating start a journey of reflection and transformation. Instead of fighting against this wall – which is invisible – connect yourself to that invisible power you have and see how you start to realize better ways of dealing with it. Success comes from empowerment, not fight.

So, I hope this will help you to work with the walls in your life.

Huge changes are happening to you, what to do?

Wow, so much has happened in such a short time!!! But… how has been your response in relation to all those changes?

Maybe fear? I am sure not! But it is always possible you were afraid, let’s say, a bit afraid… After all, a crisis or chaos tends to take off many things and people we care.
 Perhaps you tried to evade or even escape the change? I am sure you would be partially successful for some time. You see, when a change starts, the more resistance it finds, the more it grows, and try to flee is a certain type of resistance.
 It is also possible you rebelled and didn’t want to obey all the directions coming from many sectors of the government and actors trying to deal with the crisis. Or you even went on protesting against them! And yet, the crisis is even bigger now.
 Or you sat down and you reflected upon what was going on. You saw the change through very different glasses, without judgement and a deep positive acceptance.
 It is possible you are already doing something to change whatever is going on around you. Not to fight, as you understand the laws of change and resistance, but you are generating a change yourself.

It is quite conceivable you did a bit of each of the former possibilities, so check the immediate results and visualize the long-term outcome. And change whatever you must change to get the maximum success. Good luck in this wonderful journey!

There is no self-care without the self

We take care of our body a lot in terms of health or esthetics, but how much do we take care of the soul within the body?

That is an approach we all have to reflect upon, particularly when there is the fear of death or some spiritual struggle.

Another approach is to take care of the awareness of being; to be soul conscious means more than a religious or spiritual phrase: it means to be connected with who I really am.

By being merged into the intense daily routine, a ferocious career, a health crisis or very unhealthy relationships, it is easy to just disconnect with that being and just react to whatever is happening around.

The problem is one day you will be living through a sweet easy routine, your career will be over, your health will be fine again and you will be ok with your relationships; but if you don’t take care, you will be something else, different than what you really are.

And that duality is not good for the soul’s health…

So, the best way of caring about the true self is:

• Follow your religious tradition. Time may be an issue, so find some time you can spare to take care of your own self.
• Meditate or contemplate. Get in connection with your true self.
• Reflect deeply. Don’t let things just pass; talk or write about them, or just sit down and think of what is going on.
• Change your lifestyle, so that it is aligned to who you really are.
• Look for a change of perspective by talking with different people or by reflecting in different ways.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

PS: If you are interested in meditation, I would like to recommend you to brahmakumaris.org; that’s where I meditate.

My mind: a sacred space

Your mind may be a runaway horse, aimlessly running from scene to scene of your life.

Your mind can be like a spoilt little child: crying and looking for attention.

Your mind could be just like a flying kite, being controlled by the winds of situations.

But if you take care of your mind very well, then your mind could be a cool lake from where beautiful positive thoughts would emerge… A very wise person who always has a great advice… Maybe a surf board: with skill and talent you are able to take the best advantage of any wave that happens in your life.

And those beautiful positive thoughts will show you the way; they will help you in your decision and success will be very close to you.

And that advice will open many doors, turning a crisis into unlimited opportunities.

And that wave will be a lever for your own growth.

This is what it means to take care of your mind: to understand its value and to change its form into something powerful.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

Am I still me?

Something a few people talk about is how crisis change people, for better and for worse. Maybe a new temperament emerges or an incredible ability of dealing with tough situations that turn a common person into a hero.

That’s also part of taking care of the self: to prevent the self to be contaminated or suffer of a post-traumatic stress so serious after a crisis that they may become almost unrecognizable.

Self-care in this case starts with knowing exactly the answer for this interesting riddle: Who am I? The idea behind is if you don’t really know yourself, it is easy to get lost in the hurricane of situations and adapt in a negative way like the frog…

Many years ago, I used to stay during holidays on the beach along with my late grandmother.

Once, she was cooking something and so let a bit pot of water in the stove while we went out to do an errand.

When we came back, the water was boiling. We could see the smoke, but she has left the pot open and there was a surprise…

A frog was inside it!

Legend says a frog would jump into boiling water and because its physiology, it would adapt to the temperature; unknowingly it would start to cook and when it realizes the danger, it would be too late…

Maybe that is the case when a crisis happens, because we adapt, which is good, but it is possible we start to lose some of our principles, most precious values, awareness and attitude. We start to change as people

By reflecting on the self and its depth, the individual learns more about him or herself and is able to keep their values, principles, awareness, attitude and all that is important and precious, no matter the crisis that is taking place.

In fact, this will help to overcome the obstacles and advance onto another level, taking care of the self all the way.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

Unintended consequences

An old movie[1] showed a very hypothetical situation: imagine if Earth activities would stop completely; it takes place in the fiction work by neutralizing electricity everywhere.

In our reality, it is taking place by a virus and reality is completely different than fiction.

And there are consequences – the 1951 movie hasn’t showed much of the bad results, but in this era, we are watching it online.

Now, by writing this post I have always wanted to stimulate a different positive realistic approach in relation to reality. So I won’t get into the negative consequences we can know anytime by tuning into any media.

But there is something that is being talked at many of the current media: recession. It is an almost cursed word that takes us to images and stories we would prefer to avoid. I myself was brought up very far from the recession epicenter, in time and space, but I consumed so many movies that sometimes I felt I went through the recession, and the sensation was very bad…

So, what to do? Just cry and blame something or someone? Fight?

These are times of uncertainty, that is true, but these are also times for good leadership. At least, a good self-leadership. By being your own leader, perhaps you won’t solve the crisis, but you can have more clarity about what to do.

It is an opportunity for reinvention, to rethink the self and to choose new routes for your life.

It is a wonderful opportunity to take over your own life and design it in a way that your resilience increases and you are able to obtain success even against the odds.

It is an opportunity for solidarity, cooperation and a sense of being part of a big human family, as we never had before.

It is an opportunity… even though it does not look like that a few times. Just try it to see the situations in this different way and check the results.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

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[1] The Day the Earth Stood Still. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still

Unintended victims

Any crisis generates victims, not necessarily in the real sense, but it exists to put some of the structure you have created down.

Although the victim is often related to the crisis itself, however, some of those who suffered are not a direct part of it. Relatives, friends, coworkers and even neighbors also go through a rough path too; and yes, generated by you.

To be more accurate, it is generated by your way of dealing with the crisis. They are not direct victims and many times, they don’t have any idea why they are in that type of distress. Why does this happen?

Crisis makes the experience of many different emotions to emerge and it is quite normal that you enter in a kind of emotional hurricane. So it is possible you also pull others into the same turmoil.

On the other hand, there is the hero syndrome; many people act in such a way that the problems they are going through are nothing. They just dismiss them, but inside they are burning and eventually, they may explode. A common reason is that they don’t want to hurt others… and yet, they do, because by protecting them they may hurt themselves. Consequently, those who love them will get hurt when they realize it.

There are a few tips you may follow in such a way that you don’t hurt yourself and don’t hurt others during a crisis periods:

1. A recent post that is being shared around expressed that any crisis has 3 elements: an expiration date, a teaching and of course, always a solution. Although you may not know the ending date, you can start to reflect and find out about its teachings.
2. At the extent you focus on the solution instead of the problem that will help you to keep your emotions in a balanced state.
3. Don’t deny the problems and don’t fear to call them by their name. A part of you knows it and it will be a disregard for your own self to diminish the situation you are living.
4. Learn to talk about your problems with people who are empathic and who can contribute with practical solutions or give you some support.
5. Whenever you feel strong emotions coming, just take some time off from your present environment. Relax a bit, empower yourself maybe by meditating and then go back.
6. Don’t hide your feelings and emotions… Talk about them in a way that is both open and comfortable for you, and get as much help as you can.
7. If you let the door of emotions open and they come out with a destructive force, after it happens, check what took place and whether anybody was hurt. It is good to hold a dialogue with your dear ones after such an episode, and forgiveness may be part of it.
8. Meditate… Meditate particularly when the crisis is not affecting you so strongly. There is a state called Detached Observer; it is a valuable one and it may help you to find peace and calm amidst the adversities. That will impact others positively.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.