Problems II

Still having problems in life? Congratulations! Still alive...

I hope you do not have prejudices regarding this word: PROBLEM. Actually, the fact that you still have problems indicates your own energy, because there is no problem without a solution, and if there is solution, there is life.

But how to solve the problems?

For logical or mathematical problems, you can use basically a simple process:

• Analysis. One tries to understand the problem from various angles, open to new paradigms and possibilities.
• Synthesis. After expanding the problem for understanding, it's time to "repack it". It is common the problem changes at this stage, taking an easier form to be handled, or perhaps more interesting.
• Solution. It comes as a natural evolution of the problem. It is the last stage of the process.

Well, if we use the same process for general problems adapted to the human side, we get:

• Analysis. It is essential that you understand the problem from several perspectives. Talking to other people, reading books with a positive approach or just sitting and contemplating on the situation helps to take the darkness and negativity out of the problem. By giving light you solve it by half, corresponding to the emotions that come along with it.
• Synthesis. On the screen of your mind, the problem becomes something you can work. It can be an image or a simple paragraph, small, that carries the essence of the problem.
• Solution. With positive attitude and awareness, look at the problem and make a decision on what to do about it. It is important to understand that not always the solution is related to the personal desire. For example, the solution can be let go and let someone go - not the best, from the point of view of the desire for not being alone, but the most important thing is to reach a stage of full contentment.

And if you really want to work with the problem in another dimension ...

• Analysis. Be detached from the problem completely. Through meditation, it is very simple. You can "deliver" the problem to God and just enjoy the relationship with the Supreme Being, who will give you all the power you need for this.
• Synthesis. On the screen of your mind, look at the problem as something positive. Experience the solution that comes along with the problem, thanking life for this opportunity for improvement.
• Solution. Assimilates deeply the meditation experience, being inspired by the solution that you are taking into your life. Allow the problem to continue with God as Father and Friend, but bring you the fantastic solution you realized. Apply it into practice, with courage, enthusiasm and love.

I hope it will help you.

No problem

One of the biggest challenges a translator faces is to be faithful to the one he or she is translating. Even when the translator does not agree. A short time ago, I was translating a friend's lecture in which he was making a strong statement: THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS. But...

As a coach, I've learnt to avoid certain words, among them... Yes! Exactly: PROBLEMS. But...

But, what is it so bad in a problem, really?

In fact, between using words like challenges, opportunities for improvement or lessons, I believe the word PROBLEM is much more effective in terms of motivation. Why?

A problem is anything that demands a solution: there are math problems, problems in terms of food, sleep and harmony in relationships.

The key word for PROBLEM is implicit: SOLUTION. A problem ALWAYS have a solution, otherwise it is not a problem...

If there is a challenge, sometimes the solution is far off as it depends on the individual's skills. There can be opportunities of improvement, but they vanish after a while and even though we are taught some lessons, it is not sure we will learn anything.

By having a problem, there is the mental clarity that THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION. Maybe the person will need to learn some skills or develop certain capacities, but the solution is there. Better, in the school of life you can copy from others - so, if someone else has solved the same problem, just adapt her or his solution to your own life.

I suggest you to start to see problems in another way, as a circumstance that you will be able to solve FOR SURE, as its solution already exists.

No problem...

The Indian Dream

The Economist has always been my favorite magazine, even though they call it a newspaper. I enjoy reading so much that I make a point to read it through, even though it takes a month. Or two.

However, sometimes they make mistakes, as possibly anyone and any magazine. I feel their article on the Indian dream is probably one of these big mistakes.

No mistakes of course in the data - none I could put a finger on, at least. And the serious analysis is also OK. But they do miss the point about the dream...

Because dreams are not an object of analysis. Dreams, in the sense of a pure desire, an objective in life or a vision of the future, are a powerful motivator that can transform lives.

I go to India about twice a year and I have seen with my own eyes the progress of the country and that dream people have. They don't revere poverty as the magazine says, but they accept it. That acceptance acts positively in the society: it is not uncommon that someone who is very poor is able to put at least one of his children to school, and that child one day is able to send one of her own to the college, until many years later, the cycle of poverty is broken. Comparing with other places with high rates of poverty, Indians live generally happy.

What Indians revere is life in itself. What they revere is a sense of honor you hardly find in the West anymore. What they revere is God, with a deep respect and tolerance towards any way of worshiping.

And because of that, I feel the real dream in India is not so much to have a car, a proper house or a restore its original. Its real dream is to keep that energy we in the world need so much, that natural spirituality someone just called soft power.

Whilst religions have divided, split and created wars, India's spirituality is a reason to join, get together and share. Yes, there has been conflicts but they have been provoked by politicians or old-school members of clergy; Indians enjoy the diversity and they are perhaps the only people in the world that can find unity among that diversity.

It is a dream the whole world can use. Right now, and I welcome that dream.

When the butterfly gets stuck

As a natural process, caterpillars turn into beautiful butterflies. There is no decision-making, obstacles from other people or anything which is not natural.

Oh, yes, let's not be romantic about it, I am sure a whole bunch of predators is waiting for that moment when the vulnerable caterpillar is becoming something totally different and so many butterflies never see the daylight. However, what I would like to talk is about the differences with the human caterpillar, that is, you and me.

When any person starts his or her own transformation process towards a unique caterpillar, it involves not a decision from nature, but from the person to do it. That is what makes it happens initially. Sometimes, transformation is caused by something external, like the death of a spouse, but the real transformation only happens when its process starts from a deep, sincere and genuine desire for change. If that ingredient is not present, transformation will be something ON and OFF, relying on external factors like how job is going or a physical guru.

During the transformation process, a human being just like the caterpillar counterpart requires a set of situations to happen. If they are not present, then the the human butterfly can get stuck somewhere in the middle, or worse the transformation can reverse and an even uglier caterpillar emerge:

• A final goal. It is fundamental that during the whole transformation period the person keeps in mind her or his final objective in life, that wonderful vision. It is not only to remind the person where he or she is going to, but it is also a powerful motivator when things go wrong, and a real change tends to attract many wrong things.
• A proper environment. The human caterpillar needs space (openness to try, fail, and try again, experimenting with many aspects of life), support (people, books, movies or music that not only inspires but also guides), time (a specific schedule is important for an effective change; retreats, seminars, courses or other events are also efficient ways to use time) and a method (it implies a knowledge, certain values and orientation on how to implement that in life). If the person does not have a good physical environment, awareness can also created a kind of mental stage that will work like an environment.
• Constant checking. In nature things are very easy and when the butterfly is ready, it simply flies away. In the case of human butterflies, it is need to check constantly about the current state of the transformation and be ready to correct the transformation route.
• Enjoy! Probably that is quite similar to the nature: when the human butterfly is ready, it is important to enjoy the sweet fruit of self-transformation.

Hope this can be helpful in your own transformation. Have a nice flight!

True Friendship

In a world where people has about 2,000 friends via Facebook, I just wonder if the same word FRIEND is changing its meaning.

In an old and beautiful Brazilian song, Milton Nascimento states: Amigo é coisa para se guardar debaixo de sete chaves dentro do coração... (Friend is something to be kept under seven keys inside the heart). And that has been always my image of a friend, someone who is always there.

First, a friend is someone you have a deep connection, which is opposed to a superficial connection like business or "likes and dislikes", or Facebook. This deep connection sometimes is based on something you shared together like an adventure or school; other times, is just because you both are people interested in the same things and you dive deep into them. So, start checking now: who are your friends?

Second, a friend is that person who is available, no matter what. Not the romantic and idealist availability that is almost impossible in such a times when everyone works and works and works. Availability is an attitude: if you are available to another person, you will have that one in your mind and as soon as you physically available, you will call him or her. You can't forget, because you are a friend. Check: Whom are you friend to?

Third, a friend will be by your side, always, even though you make a mistake. Even though you make something that goes against your friend's values and principles. To be by your side does not mean to agree with you. A friend will know when to push, when to be firm and convince the other person to regret, apologise or make any correction to those mistakes. The most important thing is that a friend won't cut you off, never.

How many true friends do you have? Keep them, they are treasure.

Peace Progress

As a resident of this wonderful country, full of potentials, Colombia, I follow the news on the peace process very closely. It is the third time we have such a process, at least in a very serious and committed way: first was during Pastrana's government, second was during Uribe's government and now during Santos' government.

The three of them were totally different in form and essence, but still I feel the connection between them. Out of the three, the most visionary was Pastrana's and I do hope some of those initiatives emerge again. It failed though, probably for bad management and perhaps because there is a thin line between vision and idealism, and sometimes idealists forget we live in a very real world. Still, behind the failure there was success merged. For me, peace in a country is a process of construction, not a snap of magic.

The second process is very controversial, as it was done with paramilitary  They emerged as a kind of civilian response to the guerilla  but they got life on their own. And violence. Many people don't see the success here, I guess it is just me, but I have good memory and I remember that there was not one week, and for a long time, when I did not hear news about the atrocities done by paramilitary groups. Now, there are much more than one year I don't hear it. But more than the success, lesson here is the reality of a peace process. Even though it dismantle the structure, it can't change much of the people, so some of these people are still involved in violent activities, and some groups have emerged, but they are very far from the paramilitary style, they are just acting violently.

The former processes can be very valuable for this one now. On one hand, provide the areas dominated by the guerilla with solid chances for economic growth - I remember there were news even Iran was contacted during Pastrana's government, which would start some business in one of those areas. On the other hand, be more realistic, knowing some of these people will still continue in their violence due to any reason, and create mechanisms to prevent that, or at least minimize it.

I am not related to politics, as a foreigner much less, so another point which is important is to take care of three very basic elements for those who were related to the guerilla  First is health - years, for some decades, of life in jungle can affect your health. Not only physically, mental health is something that has to be considered too to avoid situations of war veterans coming back from war. Ah, let's not forget the peace process has to be extended to the military.

Second, education is a powerful tool. It gives people hope and understanding, and enable them to go beyond their limitations. It also helps to prevent people to go back to violence. I feel education can be considered a long term element, focusing in giving basic education for people who were directly involved in the guerilla  but also making sure somehow a high education for their children.

Last, but no least, spirituality and values. In fact, for me this is the most important as it helps people to go back to their own roots of peace and love, the wonderful feeling of being part of this human family. In Sri Lanka, where the end of their war was a very violent one, guerilla members received raja yoga course as a way to cope with their new civilian life. Many of them are back to the society, and spirituality helps them to have a different approach towards problems.

In reality, all humans are now at war, at least in their minds and spirit. Desires, lack of satisfaction, animosity, hate and many other negative qualities have created a room in everyone's heart. The ultimate peace process is in that sacred place, helping each one to overcome their own violence and reach an original state of peace.

5 questions to end your year

• Which changes am I experiencing this year?
• What have been my main success events or accomplishments this year?
• What are the main lessons I am learning?
• What are my main realizations?
• In the rest of the year that still remains, what will be my focus?

Years are just a ritual, they really don't pass, not even exist. But we can use that as a concept and help ourselves to change in a more methodical way. For that, we need to check and change whatever has happened with us, and as the time passes faster and faster, it is better to start even before the year ends.
The questions before can trigger something deep in yourself. Yes, they are pretty general, but they can be helpful in making sense of the year that is almost finishing.

• I went through a big earthquake this year in my life. It was a crucial moment of decision and I have experienced a powerful breakthrough in relation to a situation that was as long as 7 years ago. The main change for me is to realize the total control of my life, which is in my hands. Yes, I knew that, but it was more than a realization, it was a practical fact. By the way, still in process.
• I think the main accomplishment for this year has been to come back into the consulting world and to start coaching. I felt so relieved, but it was more than that. It was a feeling of a person who has been through a heavy storm and finds out there is still dry soil somewhere... I felt like my feet touched the ground, and it has been great.
• This year, I have taken a powerful course by the University of Life. How many lessons I have learnt? I don't know. Possibly the biggest one is to shape my mind and comments and always express myself. I've realised that although I am a good communicator, I am not so good in expressing sensitive issues and that has harmed my relationships and myself.
• Realizations... I think my main realization, not mentioned before, has been the power of a spiritual life. If I had to decide between going back to a former lifestyle or keeping the present one, I would have decided to keep this one as I had this deep realization of the benefits of the life course I have chosen.
• For the rest of the year... I am catching up with everything, and not only for the year as I had the "7-year storm" realization, so I want to do as much as I can and experience as much as I can. I am catching up even with my blog...

What about you? What are your responses? I would love to hear (read) them. Take care, Marcelo