Building castles in future lands

What is the antonym of nostalgia, a longing for the past? As far as I know, there is no such a word, but unfortunately, it exists in terms of behavior.

I remember a few people who wanted to go to a special program in United States and they didn’t have the visa. Particularly one person who just went to order her passport called me asking for the weather at the place she was going in the US… (to which she didn’t have ticket, visa and not even the passport!)

An image I have in my mind: there are people who build castles in lands that don’t even exist, and they start to live there. As it may happen with nostalgia, they are probably frustrated with the their present and so the possibility of a future that is different than the present they are living makes them leave this place… without really leaving it, just an experience in her mind.

It is quite risky; after all, they have to work, take care of their children, their own health, to talk with friends and do all a person who must do in our society. People who live in these future castles sometimes are careless in relation to their present hut.

There is an even worse frustration as sometimes it happens that their imagined future is not what they were expecting. It may be totally different – a manor instead of a castle – or a maybe unexpected experience – can you imagine to CLEAN a whole castle??

If you really want to live in a castle one day, start with one brick today, another tomorrow… The future does not take place in our imagination but it will be the fruit of whatever we are sowing right now.

Do you live in the past?

Is it a fashion or the desire to listen to old music is growing more than it was expected? Just browse around internet and you will see it is a reality.

With the pandemic, nostalgia is in and not only in terms of music; many people can´t stop thinking of the old times of 50, 30 or even 5 years ago! By the way, I am listening to some wonderful songs of the past right now…

You know, if you really like those things of the past, why not? There is nothing bad about reliving some wonderful experience, memory or reinventing whatever you went through… as long as you don’t start living there.

Maybe you don’t like the present, but you do live NOW and when you try to live in the past, you are probably missing so many opportunities.

A deep reflection is that whatever I lived in the past that left such wonderful memory in my heart – and a song is playing, which used to be favorite of a person I won’t be able to see anymore, I haven’t even been able to say goodbye – I can still live now as memories of that wonderful person, her words and wisdom and her good wishes towards me flood my mind (not my eyes, not my eyes!).

Instead of going to the past, I bring the past to this time and live that beautiful energy in my life without delay; therefore it is like feeling her presence everywhere I go, because I am using those memories here. In this way, the past helps me to create an even better future in which I know she won’t be present, but part of my life will be her legacy.

The puzzle of our lives

I loved puzzles for a big part of my childhood. They used to help me deal with the situations I was going through, they stimulated my mind and they gave me an odd satisfaction when I was able to solve them.

And even when I was not able to solve them, I still felt so happy! After all, the effort itself gave me a new energy to do other things in life.

So… one way of looking at my life has been to see it as if it is a big puzzle. Sometimes, it requires patience; other times, determination. There are times I must take a break and other times, I have to work on it until completing it.

Puzzles have a few components to bear in my mind and maybe this will help you solving the puzzle of your life:

They have a very clear aim or objective. Although, its clarity is relative and many times it comes from reflection. What is your aim right now?

They have several pieces or clues, which don’t have meaning individually, but when you join them you are able to create a whole picture. Check for signs life has left you; it maybe a new opportunity, the loss of a chance or something someone spoke.

There is a method to solve. The method will help to glue the pieces together and create a meaningful picture at the end. How are you going to solve your puzzle?

Ah, you also need some reserved time and space… You have to create the proper environment so you can solve them faster. Which environment is the right one to dedicate and solve the puzzle of your life?

Good luck, I am sure you will be able to solve it and help others solving theirs.

You are a champion

Did you know you are a champion?

 

You have won innumerable battles and conflicts…

You have conquered hearts and brains, hugs and positions…

You have won over your own mind, defeating many useless and wasteful thoughts…

You have won over your own limitations, beliefs that have been limiting your power…

You have won over your emotions and you moved on, even when situations tried to prevent you...

 

Do you remember when you were over the edge, ready to fall over an abyss? You won!

Do you remember when nobody believed you? You won!

Do you remember when you couldn’t believe in yourself? You won!

Did you know you are a champion?

 

Keep on winning, the world needs, more than ever, champions like you!

A little magic trick to change situations

Changing things is not easy. Changing people is very difficult. Changing yourself…

Well, probably that is not easy either, but it is what you can do as you always have the possibility of changing the self.

And there is a little magic trick I can share with you: when you change yourself, particularly when you change your mindset, things change… OK, they don’t necessarily change, but let’s see an example.

You have a very difficult boss, one of the worse you have ever had! You are often arguing with them and you feel they don’t allow you to grow. You like the present workplace and position you have, salary is good, nice people…

So… if you would try to change your boss, what would it happen? Probably nothing, they maybe scold you for trying such a thing, even fire you.

Another option… you may try to change your job. However, besides it is hard to do in the present circumstances, are you sure you are going to have a better boss? No certainty here, right?

Let’s try a bit of magic! Start looking for good things about your boss: they are very well educated, in fact, their curriculum is really impressive, they connect very well with customers and they are a good family person (which is something important for you).

The problems you are having with him are not going away because of that, but they refer to your development and the way things work.

By changing your mindset, you ask yourself: Why don’t I help them to find a new job instead of fighting them? After a few hours browsing, you prepare a list of possible options, a very good profile for your boss and you send to as many companies as possible. After two months, old boss goes (for a very good position) and a new boss comes! Hope is back!

Other magic tricks that would be available in this case: you could go through training and get a better position in the same company and you could apply for another branch of the same company.

Check your problems and use this magic wand to solve them. Magic is available to all of us and the method is the same: instead of trying to change outside, reflect, see which changes you can do within and then implement.

Wisdom is a treasure

When you need something, you would have to buy or make it, which anyway would imply some expense.

What about those things you cannot purchase or make it, for instance, you need to have a harmonious relationship with others, a very good job or a better health.

Yes, you can buy a new house and in this way your family will be so happy… for a time.

Yes, you can always get another job by going through training and improving your curriculum, but… the sensation won’t last long.

Yes, you can go to doctors (you SHOULD go to doctors), but a big part of your health relies on your commitment and discipline, so… doctors are never enough.

That is the point in which knowledge is not sufficient and you need to go beyond what you know, into the realm of wisdom.

If good and excellent things are expensive in terms of money, also in life the attainment of a wonderful life is not cheap. If knowledge is like money, wisdom is a treasure from which you can get as much as you need.

With wisdom you are able to discern what the people around you really need and want from you, and you are also able to understand how to give them that experience.

Wisdom will help you realize your own professional needs in depth, so that the next job, or even this job, will satisfy you fully.

The way wisdom works; you will manage your health better.

How to get the key for that treasure? There are few things you can do:

• To meditate, contemplate or reflect in depth.
• To listen to others who have got what you need.
• To learn all the time from anyone and anywhere.

The challenge of real independence

Before being a teenager, the only thing I wanted was to be independent. I used to imagine myself making decisions about my own life in relation to career, work, personal life… but I didn’t imagine myself having to wash my own clothes, to cook my own food and, worse, to earn my own money!

The dream of independence is a strange fantasy in which a person only thinks of benefits, without their cost; still it is not bad. In fact, the idea of independence took me to where I am today and I do recommend anyone to exercise it.

I would like to give you two tips for a successful experience of independence.

A real tip is to be PATIENT with yourself and life in general. Your independence depends on several factors and it takes time for them to be ready for you, meanwhile it is good to feel INTERDEPENDENT, instead of dependent. It is much more than washing dishes once a week or going to the shopping for the house, it happens when you recognize the other’s independence, you respect it and you help them to develop it, which will help you in your own independence.

Second tip: be PERSEVERANT. Lots of obstacles will come your way, either because it seems life is conspiring so you don’t become independent or you are thinking you were not made for that and it is better to go back to your mum’s house. Just keep on going a bit more and you may set some dates in terms of aims to be fulfilled, which is quite helpful. Another thing that is helpful is to increase your capacity by attending a few courses, meditate more and changing your lifestyle.