Am I still me?

Something a few people talk about is how crisis change people, for better and for worse. Maybe a new temperament emerges or an incredible ability of dealing with tough situations that turn a common person into a hero.

That’s also part of taking care of the self: to prevent the self to be contaminated or suffer of a post-traumatic stress so serious after a crisis that they may become almost unrecognizable.

Self-care in this case starts with knowing exactly the answer for this interesting riddle: Who am I? The idea behind is if you don’t really know yourself, it is easy to get lost in the hurricane of situations and adapt in a negative way like the frog…

Many years ago, I used to stay during holidays on the beach along with my late grandmother.

Once, she was cooking something and so let a bit pot of water in the stove while we went out to do an errand.

When we came back, the water was boiling. We could see the smoke, but she has left the pot open and there was a surprise…

A frog was inside it!

Legend says a frog would jump into boiling water and because its physiology, it would adapt to the temperature; unknowingly it would start to cook and when it realizes the danger, it would be too late…

Maybe that is the case when a crisis happens, because we adapt, which is good, but it is possible we start to lose some of our principles, most precious values, awareness and attitude. We start to change as people

By reflecting on the self and its depth, the individual learns more about him or herself and is able to keep their values, principles, awareness, attitude and all that is important and precious, no matter the crisis that is taking place.

In fact, this will help to overcome the obstacles and advance onto another level, taking care of the self all the way.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

Unintended consequences

An old movie[1] showed a very hypothetical situation: imagine if Earth activities would stop completely; it takes place in the fiction work by neutralizing electricity everywhere.

In our reality, it is taking place by a virus and reality is completely different than fiction.

And there are consequences – the 1951 movie hasn’t showed much of the bad results, but in this era, we are watching it online.

Now, by writing this post I have always wanted to stimulate a different positive realistic approach in relation to reality. So I won’t get into the negative consequences we can know anytime by tuning into any media.

But there is something that is being talked at many of the current media: recession. It is an almost cursed word that takes us to images and stories we would prefer to avoid. I myself was brought up very far from the recession epicenter, in time and space, but I consumed so many movies that sometimes I felt I went through the recession, and the sensation was very bad…

So, what to do? Just cry and blame something or someone? Fight?

These are times of uncertainty, that is true, but these are also times for good leadership. At least, a good self-leadership. By being your own leader, perhaps you won’t solve the crisis, but you can have more clarity about what to do.

It is an opportunity for reinvention, to rethink the self and to choose new routes for your life.

It is a wonderful opportunity to take over your own life and design it in a way that your resilience increases and you are able to obtain success even against the odds.

It is an opportunity for solidarity, cooperation and a sense of being part of a big human family, as we never had before.

It is an opportunity… even though it does not look like that a few times. Just try it to see the situations in this different way and check the results.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

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[1] The Day the Earth Stood Still. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still

Unintended victims

Any crisis generates victims, not necessarily in the real sense, but it exists to put some of the structure you have created down.

Although the victim is often related to the crisis itself, however, some of those who suffered are not a direct part of it. Relatives, friends, coworkers and even neighbors also go through a rough path too; and yes, generated by you.

To be more accurate, it is generated by your way of dealing with the crisis. They are not direct victims and many times, they don’t have any idea why they are in that type of distress. Why does this happen?

Crisis makes the experience of many different emotions to emerge and it is quite normal that you enter in a kind of emotional hurricane. So it is possible you also pull others into the same turmoil.

On the other hand, there is the hero syndrome; many people act in such a way that the problems they are going through are nothing. They just dismiss them, but inside they are burning and eventually, they may explode. A common reason is that they don’t want to hurt others… and yet, they do, because by protecting them they may hurt themselves. Consequently, those who love them will get hurt when they realize it.

There are a few tips you may follow in such a way that you don’t hurt yourself and don’t hurt others during a crisis periods:

1. A recent post that is being shared around expressed that any crisis has 3 elements: an expiration date, a teaching and of course, always a solution. Although you may not know the ending date, you can start to reflect and find out about its teachings.
2. At the extent you focus on the solution instead of the problem that will help you to keep your emotions in a balanced state.
3. Don’t deny the problems and don’t fear to call them by their name. A part of you knows it and it will be a disregard for your own self to diminish the situation you are living.
4. Learn to talk about your problems with people who are empathic and who can contribute with practical solutions or give you some support.
5. Whenever you feel strong emotions coming, just take some time off from your present environment. Relax a bit, empower yourself maybe by meditating and then go back.
6. Don’t hide your feelings and emotions… Talk about them in a way that is both open and comfortable for you, and get as much help as you can.
7. If you let the door of emotions open and they come out with a destructive force, after it happens, check what took place and whether anybody was hurt. It is good to hold a dialogue with your dear ones after such an episode, and forgiveness may be part of it.
8. Meditate… Meditate particularly when the crisis is not affecting you so strongly. There is a state called Detached Observer; it is a valuable one and it may help you to find peace and calm amidst the adversities. That will impact others positively.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

Keeping healthy

No, I am trying to not talk about the… virus… After all, as a blog, it is possible someone uses it later and maybe – hopefully – nobody would remember what it is. What it was.

But it is always relevant to talk about keeping healthy and even though times change, that need won’t change.

In my experience, health starts in the awareness and attitude as that was my weak point. It took time for me to understand the importance of self-care.

So, the next posts will be on this deeply important theme: SELF-CARE.

For now, could you tell me: Do you want to know anything about it? Or do you want to comment on this and contribute with this topic?

Tragedies and opportunities

Maybe we cannot avoid tragedies, avoid thinking or talking about them ... It would even be disrespectful to lives that are being lost, to an economy that seems to be faltering.

Maybe we can't stop thinking about loved ones at risk or our own future ... After all, they are our loved ones and it will be the future we want to live in.

Maybe we cannot avoid losing hope a little... She is so fragile and many times invokes the wrong image that replaces the true effort that could lead to the solution.

But we can think about how beautiful we are, the enormous and fantastic opportunities that arise and motivate us to think about what we should do, think and speak. We can call or be present with our loved ones, taking more advantage of their presence in our lives and potentiating the mutual enrichment that comes through that. We can all take better care of our present steps, remembering that every day we are generating our future, step by step. And finally we can embrace hope and thank it for helping us to keep the inner spark burning with motivation.

How to overcome fatigue

What is normal and what you expect is that after waking up, you have energy until night... but if that is not constant in your life, it is time to work internally.

We are not machines and although we are well oiled, fatigue, exhaustion or stress can take away our energy and prevent us from progressing or enjoying in the way we would want and could. Maybe you would like to have a few more hours of strength to enjoy your family, do something useful to the community, meditate or just enjoy watching the last movie.

If you really want to extend your energy a little more in the day, here are some tips that can be very useful:

1. Start with your diet and check well that what you eat is balanced.
2. Then, check the quality sleep time, that is, the sleep that refreshes and renews.
3. Develop the art of relaxation, that is, let go… a lot!
4. Self-organization contributes to avoid tiredness, preventing us from wandering when making a decision or doing some activity.
5. Strive to have excellent prioritization criteria, because it will prevent you from wasting time, one of the factors that causes fatigue.
6. Managing an adequate schedule helps minimize stress.
7. Dialogue and enjoy being with relevant people in your life.
8. At the end of the day or at times you identify that you feel a not very welcome tiredness, look for activities that are motivating.

Healing within

One thing I remember very well about my childhood: my bleeding knees… Yes, I used to run and fall a lot! After some time, it would create a dark skin over the wound, particularly after applying some type of painful medicine. Eventually, the skin would have gone, again more bleeding and at last I would look at my knee and see it completely healthy, ready for another run, another fall…

One day, my fall was bigger than the normal: I was practicing judo and I’ve broken my arm. My master, perhaps afraid of consequences, decided to deal with it and the results were horrible; I still have to make effort to touch my right shoulder with my right hand!

And there are wounds that seem to never leave you alone – I still wear glasses for reading, an outcome from bad reading habits.

But these are all physical and visible – or at least they can be felt. However, as humans, we accumulate many invisible internal wounds. Most will be healed in time, others will leave sequels and a few will lay unsolved.

Learning from the physical world may help us healing internally:

• We should be careful about not hurting ourselves due to the same circumstances over and over again. To practice introversion, to sustain an inner dialogue and to meditate will help us to prevent that.
• And if after talking with the self, we are still stumbling on the same stone, maybe we can go and look for someone who will help with that.
• Some wounds are too deep or too big to be ignored and they threaten to maim the soul. Patience and perseverance in healing by applying several techniques will help dealing with them.
• Let’s overuse kindness, compassion, mercy and forgiveness, particularly with the self.
• Some wounds seem to integrate themselves in our personality, changing the way we are not for the best. A therapy may help us to change ourselves back to a healthy being.
• Adopting a spiritual path will definitely help us to deal and to manage those wounds with which we will have to live.