Effects of a Modern Life: Exhaustion

 

I do feel people are too tired… Don’t you think so?

Perhaps the problem is related to health and so the person should go to a doctor and check upon this. Or, maybe the problem is not the lack of rest, but the kind of rest we choose.

While trying to relax, I see friends endlessly scrolling on their phones, watching one episode after another, jumping from one video to the next, trying to “disconnect” from their source of stress and to feel good. And yet… they are exhausted.

It’s a strange paradox of modern life. We have more entertainment than any generation before us. More comfort, more technology, more “free time” and more possibilities to make our lives easier. And still, many of us wake up tired, go to bed exhausted and live drained of energy.

We are confusing distraction with restoration, boredom with silence, doing nothing with slowing down, and this is why, we keep feeding the mind with noise.

Another invisible factor is the pressure to always be “on”. We have reached a level in terms of society that many people feel obliged to be productive or available, 24/7. We jump every time a notification beeps, vibrates or screams…

Relaxation is competing with that sense of success we have created and cultivated along many years. We HAVE TO BE BUSY, we HAVE TO WORK LONG HOURS, we HAVE TO SEND OUR CHILDREN TO THE BEST COLLEGES, and so on… Look, this is not bad, but partial success does not work well. Imagine you have a fruit, a whole fruit, but you eat just half of it and you miss the best part. Success is not only achievements and attainments, it is also that incredible sensation of victory, an elated stage in our minds and an eternal smile…

The third thing that is making us more and more tired is virtual-based relationships. I do remember at the end of every year, I used to call EVERYONE in my cell phone; now, with more than 1,000 numbers in my phone, I would have to start wishing everyone a “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” from January!

And let’s not talk about the endless number of photos and videos, audios and things that, in the past, meant there was a meaningful relationship, and now it just occupies space in the cell phone memory. A virtual-based relationship makes us tired instead of enriching each other.

Real rest is not an escape. It means stillness and it is conscious, rather than just trying to forget. It is not travelling, but deepening. It is not scrolling eternally in your phone, looking for something; instead, take whatever is there in front of you and make it a beautiful entertainment moment.

It may be uncomfortable at first as it requires us to face silence and be alone with our thoughts. Real rest comes from a powerful reflection on what we have been avoiding and stopping us to escape from our reality.

Yes, meditation and a change of lifestyle will help. Definitely, power naps and a sound sleep will work wonders.

My suggestion here is that you start from your awareness, letting go other ways of resting that ends to make us even more tired and embracing new possibilities. You will see the results I am sure of that.

A safe space for you

A friend of mine insists that what everyone really needs is a safe space… A place in which there is no danger or threat, with a feeling of being accepted, no matter what or who we are.

Is that even possible? Yes, it is… At least I think so…

Here are the essentials for you to build a safe space:

·       A good positive attitude, that is the most important thing you will need.

·       People who are good to you, who care about you and you care about them.

·       People who… well, not necessarily care about you, but you need them and you can have a dialogue with them.

·       A nice space… It is personal, but you can add some art, music, lots of nature, light…

·       Meditate in this space regularly, so that you create a whole new atmosphere.

·       Don’t talk about this space to other people… keep it as a beautiful secret.

·       Don’t keep things that disturb you, even though they may be necessary.

·       If there are things you need, but they upset you, take them when it is necessary and take them out after that.

·       If you can’t have a proper physical place, even a beautiful park can work…

By creating and sustaining a safe space, benefit will come not only for you, but for many others too. 

Why do good things happen to bad people?

 I remember a yoga teacher giving a very powerful class, one of those meant to shake people out of the slumber of their minds. At some point, she said something that stayed with me: many very “bad” people end their lives in comfort, surrounded by success and security.

Her point was simple, but uncomfortable. We shouldn’t assume that doing good automatically guarantees good outcomes. And we shouldn’t expect that people who act badly will always be punished, an idea that belongs more to old movies than to real life. Reality is messier. And there are several reasons for that.

One of them is human complexity. One of the worst people I knew growing up - a real bully - is now a respected judge in a small town. Who would have imagined that? Maybe parts of that old behavior still exist somewhere inside him. But for his family, friends and community, he is seen as a good, honorable person.

The truth is uncomfortable: a “bad” person for you or me can be an “excellent” person for someone else, or at another stage of life.

Almost everyone, at some point, has asked this question: why do people who lie, manipulate or act selfishly sometimes seem to prosper - financially, socially or professionally - while others who try to live with integrity struggle? It can feel unfair, confusing, even discouraging, and I talked about it in a former post.

That is another reason: life does not operate on immediate moral accounting and results are not always synchronized with behavior. Someone may be highly skilled, confident or intelligent, and those qualities can bring external success regardless of inner values. In the short term, this type of efficiency can easily be mistaken for virtue.

A third reason is that there is also the illusion created by appearances. What we usually call “good things” are often external achievements: money, recognition, power, comfort. But outer success does not guarantee inner peace. Many people who look like they are “winning” are quietly dealing with anxiety, emptiness and broken relationships. We rarely see that part of the story.

At last, from a karmic perspective, the picture becomes wider. A person may be acting poorly now and still enjoying the fruits of positive actions from the past. Karma does not work like instant messaging; it works more like agriculture.

Imagine this: you planted broccoli seeds last week, but you also have an old mango tree in your garden. For a while, you will enjoy sweet mangoes. But don’t worry… the bitter broccoli is coming to you... A person who is enjoy a good life, maybe it is just a question of a stock of mangoes and their broccoli is not ready yet to be consumed.

But, in another tone, looking carefully, lasting fulfillment rarely belongs to those who harm others. Temporary gains fade and not wanting to sound cliché, but inner qualities - honesty, compassion, stability - create a kind of wealth that cannot be taken away.

So perhaps the better question is not why good things happen to “bad” people… but what kind of good we are talking about.

External success is loud and visible, while inner success is quiet and deep.

And in the end, life does not reward appearances; it responds to conscious acts, words and thoughts.
Sooner or later, what is planted within, mango or broccoli, is what grows.