Taking care of our health…

It is an important element of these days and everybody seems to be thinking about their health. But one day this shall pass and then we shall go back to our old ways… I hope not.

Health is wealth as it enables you to do as many things as possible and obtain resources. If you have health, but no wealth, you can at least generate the minimum resources for your life, but if you have wealth without health is like having feet but not shoes…

And health is a very complex topic as our bodies are complex. But we need to not only take care of it during the crisis, but learn to take care of it at all times.

Let’s not forget our mental health as we fight against being in enclosed spaces or living with other people in ways we were not ready for that.

I am not from healthcare, but I would like to suggest you to take care of your health in three different ways, based on my many experiences of dealing with my own body:

Let’s keep on checking with doctors. Although this present crisis has shown us that we must learn how to research on health topics and we shouldn’t be depending only on doctors, it is important to insert them to our life, and according to our lifestyle, since there are many avenues of medicine.

We take care of our lifestyle. A good diet, a powerful routine of exercises and many habits will help us to improve our capacity and immune system. It is time to invest time and energy developing all of those.

Spirituality also helps. It is a very wrongful myth that spiritual people don’t take care of their health, but even many spiritual people also believed it. In fact, by developing spirituality we will naturally take care of our body, as we will understand the importance of health in our lives. Practices as meditation or prayers have a wonderful effect in health too.

This is the first of a series of articles on self-care.

When coaching can’t work a miracle

I’ve started to study about coaching many years ago, but my first real experience to coaching was as an unwillingly coachee and the coach in this case just attacked me, by firing a series of questions. Of course, one of a coach’s skills is to confront the coachee, but I am sure that was coming from a very dark place as she just wanted me to change and I am sorry if I could not change in less than half an hour.

Maybe that is why I’ve taken time to embrace my role as a coach, because I do believe in it and my coachees have had very good experiences, but I don’t believe in miracles as my first unintended coach wanted. Unfortunately, many people advertise coaching as a way of doing miracles.

Coaching technique is fascinating and it really works, but we have to bear in mind any change is limited by three main actors: the coach, the coachee and life.

The coach must provide the best of themselves, making the effort to help the coachee to find new ways to attain whatever is not possible at present. Skills are important, but more than that is the will from the coach to benefit the other person and the energy she or he contributes to the process.

A coachee is not a passive actor and they require committing themselves with the task at hand: a personal change. Even though the coachee allows the coach to direct the process, they should be aware all the time and not fall into the trap of what the coach wants for me.

But life will play a valuable part here, by providing or not resources for the impossible to become possible. And there are times when even though both worked hardly and efficiently, things won’t work well… If that happens, both actors should remind themselves to find success in the failure in the form of a lesson or something intangible attained during that process, such as patience, and move on.

So, no miracles, but coaching is a very clever way to get changes taking place.

Satisfaction is so natural – Reason 38

When you eat something nutritious and tasty, you feel that wonderful sensation, as if the world is the most wonderful place…  But, after a few hours, that type of satisfaction will end, and the same could be said to toys, cars, holidays and people’s company.

Most of the world is looking for a different type of satisfaction, but only find the one that is as ephemeral as it was sung in the 1960’s by The Rolling Stones[1].  Ultimately does not give long-lasting gratification.

One of the reasons is that most of time we take satisfaction from actions and external situations.  However, leaders find satisfaction inside themselves, using the external not as a source, but as a means to make other people realise what the leader is inside.

For instance, maybe a person will look for a friend with whom to talk and go out, and his satisfaction will rely on that interaction.  On the contrary, a leader will have something to talk about and when a friend comes their conversation will happen.

It is good to be a leader as she or he IS a satisfied person, and has no need to create external means in order get to that point.

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[1] (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction is a song composed by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, the leaders of The Rolling Stones, launched on June 6^th 1965.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Cultivating a not-so valued treasure

Talking about values is an interesting topic. After all we all love to have cheerful friends, peaceful parents and honest co-workers. But there is little thought on how that come to be…

Why is Richard so happy? Is that something happened in his life and so this is why he is like that? Gens?

Why are your parents so peaceful? Anne’s parents are always restless or angry… Does that have something to do with their beliefs?

And what about Joanna? I have never heard a lie coming out her mouth during all the time I’ve been working with her and I don’t understand how that is even possible!

But when values are under threat – and crises particularly create an interesting environment that threatens our deepest values – it is time to rethink them, revise them and reinforce them.

Richard has lost his mother and is in profound depression.

One of your parents had had an affair and that is affecting their lives a lot.

And Joanna finally lied to me!! All because she wanted my position in the company.

This is part of self-care: to treasure your values. Even though you often don’t notice their importance, the reality is they affect your relationships and the way you relate to your environment.

The first thing you should do is to rethink them in relation to the present situation. For instance, how can Richard be happy now that his mother has left? A good answer could be she would like him to keep on being happy after her departure. The difficult and deepest answer is to find the roots of happiness and work on them.

The second thing is to revise the values. For instance, maybe your parents can’t be peaceful anymore, but why not being stable or assertive? Values can be exchangeable and if one value does not work in that situation anymore, another one may replace them. If you want to go even deeper you could think about peace, where peace comes from and how to being peaceful even in awful circumstances.

Last thing is to develop the capacity of the values, that is, to reinforce them. So, Joanna was attacked by greed or need and she decided to leave aside her value of honesty; maybe if she took a course of assertiveness or if she would learn a mediation process, we could talk and find a solution. You could go even deeper and try to understand where honesty comes and reinforce that part.

As part of your self-care, I would like to share an easy homework: create a list of values, rethink them in relation to the present environment, revise them and apply certain techniques to adjust them, and reinforce them.

This is part of a series of posts on self-care.

The economy of thoughts

Too many people are concerned about Economy these days, but what about the economy of thoughts?

Thoughts are responsible for success and failure, for love and hate, for good and bad experiences. They are also responsible for emotions and feelings, for overcoming barriers or for avoiding them.

They are the essence of our lives and here are 3 questions that will help you to understand and extract more benefit from the power of your thoughts.

 

How much are you saving and how much are you wasting?

Saving thoughts means to think what is needed at the appropriate time. Thoughts are a powerful tool to overcome situations or to make decisions, among other things, but if you don’t think what is necessary or at the right time, they won’t contribute to your success.

For instance, if you have a problem, do you keep on thinking of the problem again and again, or do you make time and reflect on your own power, increasing your self-respect? In the first case, you are just wasting thoughts, but in the second you are giving yourself a chance, that is, you are saving them.

 

What is the quality of your thoughts and how it creates an impact in your life?

According to the quality of your thoughts, so it will be the quality of your words and actions, or at least it will be a fundamental factor.

Let’s say you have to prepare a presentation to a client, but your thoughts are not there… they may be at your home as your child is sick or even in the next football match.

Of course, that won’t interfere with the presentation, particularly the data or the rehearsed pitch, but it will influence the way you present it. If your competition is fully focused and offer the same data (and price), their focus will be more than a reason for the client to prefer them instead of you.

 

Your trade of thoughts, how is it going?

When you think of others and they think of you, there is… an exchange of energy and vibrations. That is like a subtle and invisible trade we all do.

Imagine a scene in which you are trying to sell something to a person and a colleague is just sitting by your side, watching… then, you feel a vibration, something in that person that says it won’t work. Automatically, your self-esteem goes to the bottom, you may stutter a bit and at last, you leave without a deal.

OK, it sounds a bit dramatic, but I am sure everyone went through a similar situation in which the trade of thoughts between another person and you was toxic and it affects your performance.

On the bright side, the same thing happens when your colleague smiles encouragingly at you and you are able to get a deal!

You may not see thoughts, but their reflection – a smile, the eyes, the hands – are very clear and they show how the trading going is.

 

By working on the Economy of thoughts, you will be able to see a difference in your life.

Do I really need a challenge?

To live well is natural for humans from our society, different than what movies and television series may show. We all want to have a place in which we feel safe, peace of mind and we want to be surrounded by people who give us the sensation of protection.

Paradoxically, our society stimulates us to leave our comfort zone and it encourages us to DARE, to live life as an adventure: check the movies! Check the TV series!

So, how to balance both ideas? Do we really need a challenge right now? Should we stay in our comfort zone eating popcorns while watching something?

In fact, both things are not exclusive – to want to live well and comfortable, and to want to live as an adventurer – and they can be easily complementary.

First of all, focus on your inner side, that space inside your mind… and feel the peace that is there. It is yours. It is you. Going there is a very special adventure…

Second, challenge the things that don’t contribute to that peace – watching movies, TV series, popcorn. That is the real daring, because even though they give you the sensation of external peace, as soon as they are over, that peace goes away too. Challenge them and start an innovation in your life by meditating, studying something that enriches you or learning some wonderful new skill.

Then it is possible you feel a wave of boredom, after all you have had a habit. Just remember: you have that inner space, full of peace, just inside you. Think of it and you will be there… Much better than a watch party!

Inside, outside

Most of us are under the influence of what happens outside: climate, economy, company of another person, and so on.

But what not many know is that what takes place within also influences the outside… Many years ago, I was working in a company and the photocopy machine had a paper, in which it was written something like: Calm down, this machine reacts to your mood.

Have you noticed it? When you are anxious, things get stuck and they don’t work properly; when you are angry, things tend to break all over…

Well, you could say that your state of mind influences how you act and this is why there is damage, but anyway, that is the influence from inside to outside.

It is not only the bad reaction. Try this whenever you are facing a very bad situation:

• Calm down by thinking positively, focusing on the solution or just breathing in a controlled way.
• Smile! Yes, smile… just think of something funny or tender.
• Look ahead, face slightly high.
• Open your hands and arms, don’t cross them. If you are uncomfortable, occupy the hands by writing or holding something.
• Speak less, speak with care towards others

After that, just check what is going on around you. It is possible you will see things turning better…