A personal model of self-leadership

For me, self-leadership is the key to everything in terms of managing your own life.

Along the years, I have been working on several models of self-leadership. And I know this is something that won't end today... But, as it is for today, this is my present model, and its outcomes:

• My self-leadership is based in a model of 8 basic attitudes. I call them "spiritual powers", and I have written a book on that in Spanish and Portuguese.
• I understand self-leadership as the basis of actual leadership. When problems arise, I always look at the leadership that comes from inside.
• Empowerment is key, and self-empowerment is irreplaceable. I get that from 3 main sources: meditation, constant study and blessings (yeah, you heard right!).
• Blessings are the main fruit of self-leadership. It means a positive and powerful energy that comes from other people as a result of your service to others, and it is a complement to self-empowerment.
• Checking. Nothing is perfect, a leader of the self is always checking the self.
• Changing and transforming. To be a leader of the self means to change from your own will and to embrace transformation as a positive step, always.

I will be talking about each item later. Take care.

Do you want to be vegetarian?

I guess after the "crazy cows", swine and bird sicknesses (flues) and the recent "horsemeat scandal", many people have decided to be vegetarian, at least in those countries where these facts took place.

And if that happened, I am sure many of them - most of them - are back eating meat...

Why is that? Vegetarianism is not something you can decide just like that as it takes time and organization, courage and creativity, some good recipes and a very deep desire for changing.

Why? We live in a non-vegetarian society and eating meat is considered healthy, it means you are good financially and it is... well, normal. In fact, just before I myself became vegetarian, a couple of friends have became that and I used to tease them... So, believe me, I know all the reasons why not be a vegetarian.

If a person wants to go through that change, or any strong change like that, need to be deep, very deep. Yes, I do believe the world is on a vegetarian route. I do believe that many pressures will make people realize the value of avoiding meat in their diet, but on a personal level, your change must start from inside, from your own attitude and consciousness.

In my case, the turning point was spirituality. As I have embraced, spirituality implies the practice of vegetarianism because of non-violence and the dharma of the self. Dharma happens to be my reason, my deep reason, as it means the way I really am.

If change just happens because situations are making it happening - like the fear of eating horse meat, for instance - then it will "unhappen" at some point, making you go back to what you were before. But if a change comes from the change of attitude, then you will have an ally inside yourself that will help you to stand when the wave of change tries to go on a different way.

The reason is that if you change your own consciousness, that change becomes part of the self.

Do you want to be vegetarian not as something temporary but out of a deep realization? Work on your awareness, on your own dharma, and that will be more effective.

Improving the health in relationships

Something I've learned from spirituality is that we are complete beings originally, that is, you really do not need anything from anyone. I'm not talking physically, where we need to eat, sleep and keep the body's biological system working. What I mean is the spiritual, emotional and mental points of view - we are complete beings with an inner source of peace, love, happiness, power and purity.

However, many have taught us otherwise. They even told us to look for a companion and business focus went from the cult of personality to promoting teamwork.

Apparently the two ideas are contradictory, but I've learned many years ago that contradiction is something that does not exist in spirituality. The development of the self has a lot to do with the stage and the time the person is living, and the consciousness with which he or she does things.

From a spiritual point of view, relationships with others do not provide anything extra. What they do is ENCOURAGE something we already have internally. For example, through unconditional love, our mothers encouraged the love that we had internally; perhaps, without a loving mother, that love we already have would not emerge, and other behaviors will replace it, like conditional love or selfishness.

That means your interaction with others is essential. It is like certain elements that are in the body, but for its process, the body requires sunlight or some kind of external stimulant.

And it is in this awareness that relationships' health is based. If my consciousness is that I will be supplemented, or I have to give something to someone, at some point I will be let down when that person does not use what I gave her or him, or when I get less than I expected. If my consciousness is that my relationships are all the stimuli I need, I will accept whatever I receive with pleasure and love.

When relationships are healthy, they will teach and enrich. If relationships are healthy, other people will feel it is an honor to be with you, they will feel richer for being there.

If relationships are unhealthy, it's time to find a "vitamin", even an "operation" that heal it. Cutting a relationship is like cutting off an arm; it is the last resort.

I hope that you can always have healthy relationships.

Radical change management

One of the things I appreciate mostly about my choice of profession is to meet incredible people. I do believe deep thinking can make a difference in a world of such a "shallow" thinking...

Jimena, a very good friend, has made a wonderful effort to fulfill her career dream, by becoming a Master Coach. Even though she is not a psychologist, I have found few people who can understand human psyche like her. One example is a model of change management, based on the emotions people feel. It does look like Kübler-Ross model, but I tell you, it came from her own observations on what happens in the reality of change.

After preparing the model, she decided at some point to try it out: during a workshop at a warm place in Colombia, she just jumped in the swimming pool. When I say she just jumped, I mean WITH CLOTHES AND ALL. She motivated the participants to do the same, what they did. All the emotions she compiled in her model happened there.

I think there are two main aspects left out when we deal with change management in the normal consulting stream, and emotions is one of them. It does not matter about which culture we talk, change, and especially radical change, provokes too many emotions.

But there is another one, and I feel if people could focus on that one, the untimely changes that take place from time to time would be able to be managed much better.

To talk about that, let's understand one thing: every time we react against a change, it makes it stronger. So, to face a change and overcome it with success, it is required to not fight against it.

But, if fighting is off the table, what should it be done? The second aspect I want to mention is the awareness of self-leadership, which allows the individual to respond to the changes. The more the person is a leader on himself or herself, the more he or she will be able to get success.

Self-leadership allows the individual to be calm during a storm and to find solution when only problems are visible. It helps the person to manage the emotions in such a way they don't follow my friend's model.

I will talk about the 8 powers of the self at some point, which is my personal model of self-leadership... for this post, let's think of each power as an attitude to deal with changes:

• When the change is too big to be dealt with, introspection is the best policy. Reflecting from inside will help to find solutions faster.
• When the change creates a situation that is temporary, tolerance is the best power to use. However, if the situation is not temporary, then to be flexible is the best thing to do.
• If the change threatens principles, then the individual must stand to it. Not in an aggressive way, but from inside not allowing change to take those principles away.
• Sometimes, change generates situations which require other people to act along with the person. Getting cooperation is a power that comes from a deep self-realization.
• But apart from all of that, decisions tend to be made with no good results. From inside, the person can discern among the many choices life gives her or him, which one will take him to right solution; then, it is just a question of bringing the power to implement that decision into reality.
• And lastly, whenever some process ends, it is vital to withdraw again. This time, to assimilate the lessons and to just let go of any wounds.

If the person develops that level of self-leadership, it will be easier to manage changes, especially radical and untimely ones.

How to work your ITC muscles

I just wanted to buy something quite simple, a presentation remoter. So, I started to research and after almost one hour, I really did not have it clear... Which one is the best for me, really? I had to use lots of my, well, ITC muscles to do that one task...

ITC has grown and expand in a way that created a fractal map of possibilities for any person to use it in a way both, productive and for leisure. In fact, even when you do make a good purchase and you are satisfied with that, something will bother you... perhaps a friend who got a better model or the fact you found out something that is not working.

I personally feel challenged when I am faced with any decision related to technology. I was grown up learning it and that was the first part of my professional life. Even now, I still work on software a little bit, trying to be up-to-dated to whatever is happening out there, trying to have an opinion about what is better and what is worse.

What to do? There are a few things I do myself especially when I have to make a decision on which gizmo to purchase:

• If you are not an expert in technology, use Google abundantly. Don't forget to set the dates filter, otherwise sometimes very old information comes first.
• To look for something, try to put in words very clearly what you really want or need. Check with friends who are in the IT area. Forums are a good source of information too.
• Be suspicious of comments on equipment that are praising it too much - most of the technology is flawed by nature. As someone said, the only certain thing about any piece of technology is that there will be a defect. Good comments highlight the good and bad side.
• If you can find someone who has whatever you want to buy, ask them to let you take a look. Touch. Type in. Listen. It will definitely help you.
• In relation to investment, if it is not something you really need (but want) and if you are really not sure about it go for the cheapest thing. Ok, the second cheapest thing. Reason: you will probably have to change it for something else after one or two years...

Good luck with your own ITC muscles!

Can vegetarianism save the world?

From time to time, opposites don't attract each other. Out of the many possible styles, choices or human realities, being vegetarian and non-vegetarian has provoked massacres along history.

But time has changed and cultures too. Everyone is a little more tolerant nowadays and strict vegetarians are used to eat along with non-vegetarians and non-vegetarians accept easily their "weird" relatives or friends who seem to eat only lettuce. I personally remember that unforgettable moment when my mother prepared a GIGANTIC palmetto salad only for me...

So, perhaps now it is the time someone impartial can analyze and understand the impact of being vegetarian in the world, because I do feel a difference can be made there by choosing this lifestyle.

There is no doubt for me that to be vegetarian is healthier and cheaper, but that is my point of view. And with news of people eating horsemeat - after all, there is not that much cows anyway - I think some are really tempted to try. Most people would love to be vegetarian if it was easier to find places who cook that food well, or if they themselves know how to cook well - after all, we can't eat that much lettuce, right?

There is also the question of ethics and as science evolves to enable us know that animals also think and feel (old news for pets' owners), there is a final conclusion: what I am eating... oh, my God, it was thinking being!!!!!!

But what will really change people's minds and at least put the vegetarian choice as something more than an eccentricity is the news that vegetarianism can impact the world. Economy. Climate change. Life.

When that choice is there and it is clear that it is a good and powerful one, people can chose it in a more conscious way.

And that in itself is a big step for changing the world.

The way to travel and learn

There are very few exciting experiences like travelling. Since immemorial times, people have been reporting their trips around the world and Marco Polo was just one of them.

There are now TV channels dedicated to it and there are people who earned their income doing exactly that: travelling!

But travel in itself is really not pleasant. Perhaps for the 1% who are so rich and who can travel only first class, or private jets. Otherwise travelling is not good, and it can get worse and worse.

As I write this I am following up the strike in a very important airline - in fact, I just traveled using their services less than two months ago - and how thousands of flights couldn't take off. And let's not talk about security issues, weather issues and the Murphy Law for travelers: "When you want to move around and be social, your companions in travelling will be as closer to zombies as you can get...".

So, I always thought: what is behind travelling, really?

From my perspective, I think the biggest benefit I have received all this time through the art of travelling was to learn more and faster. It is not only what you see, listen to or even what they tell you, but just the fact you are out of your own environment makes you totally open to add something different to your perception.

It also makes you to appreciate certain aspects of yourself you wouldn't even notice if you are not in this different and strange place. You learn how much tolerance you have or how sensitive you are towards other people's needs better in a trip than going to your work, or talking to your kids.

It also opens your minds for the unlimited possibilities of human beings. I have seen buildings, food, juices, clothes, color skin, I have tasted things I would never could without travelling, and I have heard sounds and music that were unique. And that showed me human greatness in its maximum form.

It is like the place we live is just a small box. Out there, we have infinite possibilities and perhaps the answer to our questions. Questions those in our box could not answer.