The question of decision fatigue

 

A few years ago, a friend of mine went to buy a deodorant. I was with him, but I stayed at the entrance of the supermarket with the person who was hosting us. After twenty minutes, she started to get worried - how long could it take to choose one deodorant? I went to check, and there he was, staring at a small shelf with only a handful of options… Twenty minutes, and still no decision.

Now imagine someone like him, but at the end of a long, exhausting day. They still need to call three people, buy a gift, fill out a work form and complete travel paperwork. Each small choice adds up until the brain feels like it’s running on fumes.

An official report drew my attention: When Good People Make Bad Decisions. Of course, anyone can make a mistake because of ignorance, poor planning or pressure, but sometimes, even very good and competent people make bad decisions due to another factor: decision fatigue.

People who are smart, trained, capable and kind mess up because of being worn out from choosing and deciding, again and again.

This is what psychologists call decision fatigue. As psychotherapist Natacha Duke explains, it isn’t a medical condition but a very real phenomenon: the more decisions you make throughout the day, the more mentally, emotionally and physically drained you become. Decisions are made by the intellect or buddhi (Sanskrit), which is your executive functioning - the part of you that decides, plans and prioritizes. It starts to falter and when that slips, so does a good decision.

That’s why firefighters, pilots and doctors often rely on protocols and checklists, which reduce unnecessary decisions and the energy is saved to be used for the critical ones. Maybe you can create protocols for your own life, suited to your needs, or simply start building habits, simplifying routines and taking “decision breaks” (a period of reflection, disconnecting from demanding circumstances, meditation). It will make a big difference.

And maybe, there’s also a more spiritual side to this. Not every decision has to be wrestled with logic. Some choices get lighter when we pause, breathe, meditate and connect with a deeper sense of clarity. Better decisions come from a calmer place.

So, the next time you’re standing in front of a shelf - whether of deodorants or crucial life choices - remember: sometimes the smartest move is to step back, clear your mind and only then, make a good decision.

How to make decisions during uncertain times

 

Uncertainty makes your road foggy. When the world seems unstable, every option comes with a question mark, a doubt, a… something is wrong… It is as if you are driving, you look ahead, but the road keeps shifting.

No choice feels completely right. I know, it’s easy to freeze and to overthink, imagining every worst-case scenario as the only possibility. But here’s the thing - not deciding is also a decision and often, it’s the one that costs the most…

• So, start by setting clear criteria: What matters most right now? What can you compromise? What is non-negotiable?
• A few solid guidelines will keep you anchored when emotions try to take over and use logic. Your logic… Check the facts, weigh the risks, compare options… But don’t let analysis become a cage; analyze and move forward with the decision.
• And be careful with another potential prison… Your past experiences are useful - they’ve shaped your instincts, after all, and you have been able to survive and reach to this point. But remember, the past is a reference; don’t reject a new path just because it doesn’t look like the old one.
• Be a visionary: imagine where you want to be, beyond where you are. At the same time, be practical if things are not going well - a flexible balanced plan is better than a perfect one that will never be brought to reality.
• And here’s a crucial piece for a decision, many people forget: a journey to your inner world. When you connect to yourself, decisions stop feeling like a gamble. Your intuition turns into a compass and meditation becomes a personal recharger. To make a better decision, trust yourself and just sit quietly, meditate...
• Related to the former point, remember: a clean mind sees more paths than a crowded one and sometimes, the next step reveals itself only in its stillness.

These are uncertain times. Your best decision maybe won’t be the smartest or the safest, so make a decision by aligning mind, heart and soul.

In this way, you will move forward, even when the road is not yet clear.

Silence and its incredible power

 

I am surrounded by the lack of silence: cars, people talking and shouting, music (don’t ask!)… So much, really... And yet, since I was a child, I used to be attracted to the simplicity of silence. It used to be healing, an opportunity to go beyond my present situation and even to feel different than I really felt, without pretending.

It is still an integral part of who I am, as it is present in my meditations, my work style and my reflection. It contributes to my wellness, my spiritual practices and my mental state.

So, for me it is not a tool; it is who I am, what makes me refining my silence again and again.

For other people, it is a tool and I think it is great. I remember reading about this Asian businessman who used to experience one hour of silence in the morning, every day. This was his way to clear his mind and prepare himself for the challenges to come.

It can be a tool for a person trying to gather their thoughts, an artist during inspiration or a mother thinking of a gift for her family…

A silence experience may be moments of silence, an hour or a full retreat, even a pause in life; silence changes the way our minds think. Even though silence will be present at my most important moments and for other people, only when they need, its power is unmeasurable.

If you don’t practice it yet, just try it out…

Silence…

Finding magic in ordinary moments

 

I want to tell you a story. A couple of years ago, I travel in stand-by… I know, many people do that, but I am not so lucky with travels, probably something to do with a karmic account… Anyway, I had to wait for THREE NIGHTS to get a flight. Horrible, right? Yes… and no. You see, someone got a person who could host me near the airport and he went to pick me there too. The first night, an attendant helped us – a big group! – to get out of the airport (it is militarized, so people enter, but it is hard to get out), and so all was OK. The place was fine, food was good, the person was excellent.

The next night, trouble came, but again, a solution; even though no attendant from the airline helped us, one lady was able to get help from another person. This time, however, my host was not happy… still, place was fine, food was good and the person was excellent. During the day, I really prepared my spiritual stage, I did a good meditation, I read a powerful class and, in the night, even though it looked impossible to get a flight, WE GOT IT!

In old stories, represented in books or movies, magic is two things: something impossible takes place and there is the possibility of change. There is wonder and hope, a good energy and new paths. During my stand-by experiment, I saw magic again and again!

So… if we go beyond the need or desire for transforming broccoli into something more interesting, the impossible, then there is the possibility of change; a wonderful change, a motivational hope, a high-level energy and paths that take us to the best places.

And that is the magic I feel in my life and that is the one, which is transformational. The most important thing is that we don’t need to wait for a specific moment for that magic; it is right here, right now!

Do you feel it??

No? I understand… there is the routine, the things that happens in our lives, burying all that magic.

And yet... even in the most repetitive day, something can glow - if we just pause, if we look differently...

So, no need to pretend being part of a fairy tale… no need to imagine things…

Just open your eyes and you will see so much magic!

Silence and chaos

 

There is a kind of noise that exists both, outside and within. It’s the chaos of daily life - messages, decisions, stress - and the chaos of the mind - overthinking, reacting, remembering all details...

To avoid that noise or to decrease its volume, we have silence… Not the silence that is the absence of noise; silence as an inner state, a space we can enter even when the world is loud.

As we are living in the age of chaos, noise is part of the pattern… Yes, we could find a place in the mountains, far from all. Or we can resort to silence.

In the midst of chaos, silence is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s clarity. And it’s healing.

Meditation teaches us to return to that inner silence. Just a few minutes of stillness can shift our state. Meditation isn’t about controlling thoughts, but about not being controlled by them. It allows the mind to settle, and in that settling, we begin to hear our own wisdom again.

Silence opens us to hear the real sound, the sound of our inner voice.

Silence also has the power to heal. Emotional pain, stress, fatigue - these begin to soften in the presence of true stillness. Not the silence of suppression, but of awareness, that moment when we stop trying to fix everything and simply sit in silence. At that point, something begins to mend… maybe not externally - the age we live is of chaos - but inside.

Inside there is deep healing, deep awareness, but the beauty of this practice of silence is that it permeates our reality… After all, even in relationships and daily tasks, silence has a role as it brings focus, patience and depth.

In conversations, a pause can be more meaningful than a rush of words. At work, a moment of inner quiet can lead to better decisions than hours of action and discussions.

As chaos is all around, silence is not a retreat from life; it is the key to a better life.

In chaos, it becomes our compass and guide.

The Power of Small Things

 

Has a small gesture ever changed your life? When I was a child, I read a book about a boy with a green thumb. Wherever he touched the ground, plants would bloom. That story touched my imagination and shaped my dreams.

Years later, I began to realize that the world is full of green thumb - small gestures, simple actions, kind words, a short video or a few lines of text that create a ripple effect and spark real change.

Yes, I truly believe that big changes can come from small actions. It might be like the butterfly effect, or a domino chain - subtle at first, but powerful in the end.

How? From my experience and observations, I’ve noticed a few important things and here are a few examples:

Sometimes, the biggest changes are not immediately visible. Take climate change, for example. People had been talking about it for decades, but it took a small Scandinavian girl to challenge the world and make it listen. The change she sparked wasn’t just in awareness - people began to act, to shift, to care in more practical ways.

In my case, as a vegetarian, something that used to bother me was that I couldn’t eat cake! I loved cake (past tense…), but traditional recipes required eggs. For years, no cake. Then one day, someone brought an egg replacement from the U.S. - it was heavenly! Later, as a trial, someone made an eggless cake, but it was too oily… I tried it too, same result. But little by little, the technique improved. Now, delicious egg-free cakes are everywhere - even gluten- free and dairy-free ones. A small change, but a big shift in what is possible.

When I was growing up, I often felt lost. I didn’t get much guidance from my mother, grandparents, or aunts. I don’t blame them - they had their own limitations. But it meant I had to figure a lot out on my own. One of the hardest parts was not knowing what to do with my life - no clear path, no profession to follow. That’s why I still remember so clearly the first time someone gave me a chance - a small gesture as they agreed to hire me, even though I didn’t have much knowledge of computing. That moment changed everything. It gave me a real profession and helped me shape a new life.

Maybe we all have a green thumb for people, dreams and ideas. We touch the world through our actions, even small gestures.

Stillness

 

Problems and a crisis, obstacles and barriers, situations and negative circumstances… You may react, you can try to solve them, but there is one important thing to do.

Be calm…

You can sit down or walk, or run. You can talk with other people or just be alone. You can meditate reflect or contemplate. You can do all of these…

Be calm…

Peace is within. Tranquility is all around. Chaos and noise are surrounding you. Only…

Be calm…

When your business is not going well and your relationship is in problem, you may want to do something. Either you do or not…

Be calm…

Don’t stop looking for a solution. Don’t stop planning for the better life you deserve. Just…

Be calm…

Remember those you love. Remember those who love you.

Be calm…

And be gentle with yourself… Everything will be alright.

Tired of noise? Maybe it's time for some inner silence…

 

We live in a world that is too loud - not just with sound, but with thoughts are also very noisy. Constant stimulation, relentless updates, opinions coming from every direction… No wonder many of us feel overwhelmed, scattered, even exhausted.

We seek silence in external places: a weekend trip, a quiet room, a DO NOT DISTURB sign, but the most powerful silence is the one inside us.

It’s not the absence of thought, but a deeper quality of thinking, since the more quality your thoughts have, less they will be. Your mind stops chasing around and starts being.

This kind of silence isn’t easy to find and it is not to be created. In fact, it’s always available and it comes when we turn inward, just for a while - maybe through meditation, perhaps just by breathing consciously or watching the sky without our phones.

And when we do that, something beautiful happens: clarity returns, worries fade, creativity whispers and peace knocks silently on the door of our minds.

Next time the world feels too loud, don’t just escape it. Go within.

That’s where the real silence lays.

Do you know the secret of a healthy relationship?

 

Relationships are in crisis. Any relationship… and when we face problems in a relationship, our first instinct is often to wait for the other person to fix it. He should apologize. She must change. They have to act first.

So, if all relationships are in crisis in the world, that means we are waiting for LOTS OF PEOPLE to apologize. To change. To act first…

Of course, I am sure, in your case, not all relationships are in crisis, and that is my case too. But this secret I want to share will work even when there are small problems, disagreements or moments of doubt, and I am sure we all have moments of illness even in the healthiest relationship.

The secret I want to share is: you don’t need to wait for the other one.

Yes, both sides matter. Yes, a relationship only works when both sides are synchronized.

But healing often begins with just one person taking the first step and it is a show of courage.

Healthy relationships are built on that particular initiative, the will to approach the other with a sincere open heart, not just when things are perfect, but particularly when things feel broken.

Reality is you can’t always fix everything, but you can create the conditions for change by choosing to be the best version of yourself, especially when you are with others.

Don’t underestimate the power of a gesture, a conversation, a moment of empathy.

Don’t think your small message to that person with whom you had a problem is just courtesy or it will be ignored.

By taking the first step, you are laying the first brick to fix a bridge between you and others, which is often enough to start, to reboot or restart a healthy relationship.

Why values are fading and why we must rescue them

 

It’s easy to get lost in today’s fast-paced world. Traffic, economic stress and social media can make anyone forget what really matters. But maybe all this chaos has a deeper cause, something quieter and more dangerous: the slow death of values.

OK, kind of dramatic, but since many years I have been observing people stopped using values at the time of taking decisions. Yes, some code of ethics remained, but it was not something like values or principles, ingrained to a person’s compass.

And we rarely stop to reflect. We move, act, react… but seldom pause to ask questions such as:

What is guiding my decisions?

What is truly important to me?

What am I using as the main element in my personal compass?

This lack of reflection on our values may be contributing to the present situation, the way we live and even the identity crisis of younger generations, the disconnection in relationships and the weariness felt by so many. We’ve traded what really matters for what matters for the moment or what feels urgent…

So, let’s ask again: Why are values important?

I give you two answers:

• Values give life meaning. They help us face crises without losing our integrity. They help us build stronger families, organizations, and societies. And they remind us that it’s not just about surviving, but living with dignity, kindness and purpose.
• Values define our actions. They help us define which actions we should make at a certain moment, particularly when there are many possibilities. And so, they are a key part of our self-leadership.
• Values are part of our compass… OK, I was talking about two answers and this was touched before, but, please, understand it that values correspond to the south of our compass and they support in a definite way our vision of the future (north). Without values as a real part of our lives, we won’t be able, or at least it will be quite difficult, to build up a fulfilling future.

The world may not change overnight.

But we can talk about values again. And keep on talking about them…

And living them more…

Religion and spirituality: preaching vs. leading the way

 

Religion and spirituality are in constant struggle, even though you don’t know it.

On one hand is the very powerful institution of religion: there are a few problems here and there, but religions all over are increasing their numbers in terms of people and temples.

On the other hand, is spirituality: the Cinderella of human spirit, with not much structure, but lots of good intentions and, yes, the number of spiritual groups and tendencies, and the number of people enrolled to them have increased a lot too.

Now, let’s look at it in a different way in which there is no struggle; spirituality is the subtle background that is the essence of religion. In fact, a very religious person is very spiritual too, and spiritual people are often associated with a religion.

But it is true that religion – the religion common people practice – is more focused on the form, that is, scriptures and rituals. On the contrary, spirituality emphasizes the practice, the BEING.

In other words, religion may be only preaching while spirituality is leading… Still, I do believe they are not opposite and here are three examples that may help

Your religion talks about being charitable and you do, from time to time. Spiritually, you can also be charitable by giving others vibrations and good wishes. Always. Both are necessary and useful.

By being religious, you have to go to your temple every week or so. By being spiritual, your practice is daily and you don’t have to go to a temple necessarily. When you go to a temple, just be spiritual; when you are spiritual, just feel like your house is a temple.

The scriptures tell stories or describe a code of life. Spirituality makes your live those stories and change your own life.

What do you think about religion and spirituality?

Finding your higher purpose

 

If you are a very conscious person, you have your purpose in life very clear. By the way, I am sure you are such a person and your purpose is totally clear!

But, as we have too many things to do (and the pile is increasing), it is possible we forget a very important purpose since each activity or group of activities has its own.

For instance, I work as a coach and business consultant. My purpose is very clear: I want people feel empowered in an organizational environment. It is a nice and practical one, present in my mind at each one of my interventions, lectures, workshops and all that I do.

However, I also like to cook; because I am not a good cook, I have to set a purpose to each of my interventions. There was a Christmas that I felt people were not so enthusiastic, so I decided to cook a shepherd pie, a VEGETARIAN shepherd pie. It was hard work, but at the end people were literally blossoming. By the way, it was delicious.

So, what is my purpose? To help people in organizations or to give them enthusiasm? Both? Neither?

Then comes what is called a higher purpose: it is the reason of life beyond profession or lifestyle. It is a subtle energy that guide us like a compass.

Noticing the two purposes I’ve mentioned, both coincide in at least one point: I want people to feel better than they are. And that is part of my higher purpose.

Why do we need a higher purpose? Let’s understand what happens when there is clarity in relation to a higher purpose: there will be clarity on the path, objectives and even the small purposes, set for actions. Besides, it will boost self-esteem and it will help during uncertainty.

If you still don’t have a clear higher purpose, it is time to do your homework.

Optimism, realism, and…

 

Many years ago, the only kind of polarization I was aware of had to do with whether someone was optimistic or pessimistic. At most, it led to light-hearted debates about the weather, a football match or the latest economic proposal.

Now, I understand those were golden days - far removed from the deep and often bitter divisions we see in today’s polarized world.

But let’s return to those personality traits. And yes, I believe they are part of who we are.

While some people are naturally more optimistic or more pessimistic, most of us carry both tendencies within. A deeply optimistic woman can still sense when she’s at risk of losing her job - and take action to seek something new. A pessimistic man still holds hope that his sick child will recover.

The key, for someone with a pessimistic inclination, is to nurture their inner optimist. Pessimism, if left unchecked, can lead to missed opportunities simply because one didn’t dare. Cultivating a bit more optimism can make the path forward feel possible, even exciting.

But what about those who are too optimistic? I’ve known people so buoyed by positivity that they seemed immune to setbacks - until a hard fall brought shock, disappointment, and sometimes, deep disillusionment. Yet it doesn’t feel right to suggest they become more pessimistic… does it?

No, there is a better alternative.

As a Capricornian, I’ve always known the strength of realism. Before my journey of self-growth began, realism was my default stance. At times, I admit, it made me a rather pessimistic young man. But once I stepped onto a spiritual path, realism became something different: a grounding force that balanced the natural optimism that emerged through inner work.

So the answer isn’t choosing between optimism or pessimism - it’s embracing a realism that is both clear-eyed and compassionate. A realism that allows an optimist to dream and take risks, while still helping stay anchored when storms arrive. In a world that pulls us toward extremes, cultivating this middle path might just be one of the most radical things we can do.

Looking Back at My Digital Journey

 

Many years ago, I started my internet life in the world of social media, as a content creator. Today, I’d like to take a moment to review that journey - not just the visible outcomes, but the quiet learnings along the way.

On a personal level, this path has been both rich and demanding. I’ve had the chance to offer light - small or great - into other people’s lives. Whether it was through reflections on present-day events, sharing about meditation, or simply exploring the many layers of spirituality, I’ve been able to speak from the heart. At the same time, I’ve been learning constantly: how to navigate the changing tides of social media, how to connect more meaningfully, and how to shape content in a way that reflects both truth and care.

Of course, it hasn’t been without challenges. The time and energy to plan, write, record and edit can be enormous. And with platforms changing their policies and algorithms, reaching people has sometimes felt like trying to speak through a thick fog. The message is there, but is it heard?

When I think of those who receive what I share, I want to believe that it brings something positive - a space to breathe, to reflect, to learn, or simply to smile. I imagine someone pausing in their day and feeling a little more grounded, some positive content enlightening their lives. That’s the quiet hope behind every post.

Yet, I can’t deny there’s a lingering silence. The absence of comments or interaction makes me wonder: Is there anyone there? Do they find what they’re looking for? It’s a strange kind of solitude, to speak so often and hear so little back.

Still, I continue - not for numbers, but for meaning. Because even if just a few people find a moment of peace, clarity, or insight through what I share, then this path has been worthwhile.

Overcoming very strange obstacles

 

We all know how to overcome obstacles. The usual kind? No problem.

But nowadays, we’re facing a new wave of very strange obstacles.

Let me explain with an example: a typical obstacle might be not having a job. A stranger obstacle could be having a job you don’t enjoy or one you lack the skills for.
And a very strange obstacle? Having a job you dislike and feeling like you have to pretend you love it - just to meet the expectations of your family or community.

For common obstacles, there are well-known steps: look for a job, talk to friends, take courses, learn new skills and so on.

But with these stranger ones… it gets more complicated.
Years ago, the advice was simple: "Don’t like your job? Just quit!"
"Missing skills? Go learn them!"
But today, things aren’t so straightforward. The job market is uncertain. The workplace is constantly shifting. And even if you learn a new skill, it might be outdated by the time you master it.

Maybe now is the time to learn how to love the job - not in a forced way, but by connecting with its purpose or seeing what it teaches you. From that sense of connection, perhaps a shift will come naturally, if that’s what’s truly best.

Maybe it’s time to focus not just on skills, but on assimilating knowledge. With real understanding, upgrading your skills becomes much easier and more organic.

And then we arrive at the very strange obstacles…
These often live in the emotional and mental layers of our challenges. In this case, the obstacle shows up in our relationships - in the struggle to be true to ourselves, especially when we are seen as role models by others.

The solution isn’t simple, but it is possible: we need to develop self-leadership.
That means gaining clarity about your future vision, your values, your purpose - and finding a balance between spirituality and practicality.
When you lead yourself, you can make decisions that might be unpopular but are right for you - like leaving a job. And you can help others understand that choice, turning it into a shared learning experience rather than a disruption.

To summarize:

• Overcoming a normal obstacle: follow the usual steps and ask for help when needed.
• Overcoming a strange obstacle: don’t rush into action. Reflect first.
• Overcoming a very strange obstacle: lead yourself with vision and integrity - and turn the challenge into growth for yourself and others.

When it is better not to change…

 

There are several reasons to change and I think you are a person who likes, or at least WANTS to change, right?

But there are a few reasons to NOT change, even though situations are pushing you to do that.

The first thing is when you are trying to adapt to another person’s way of life. Of course, if you are a partner or a room-mate, then both will have to adapt, but many times, it is a one-way expectation, and that is not right. Create a dialogue with the other person and check how both of you can adapt to each other or alternatives.

The second reason is when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit you. There are cases when they will benefit others; check how to do it in such a way you don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to you, don’t do it. Talk with others and see how you can accommodate, without losing that which is precious in you.

Third, when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit others, similar to the second reason. There are cases when they will benefit you; check how to do it in such a way others don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to others, avoid doing it. Talk with others and see how both sides can accommodate, without losing that which is precious for them.

Now, if you are not fully convinced of any change, reflect upon it. Maybe it is the method you don’t like or the possible outcome; by reflecting and realizing, it is possible you can change or you can reach the conclusion you won’t follow that particular change.

A last advice: you are your own leader. Don’t react, don’t change because situations change and don’t try to make others change. Reflect, meditate and understand before promoting a change in yourself.

When everything falls apart… but hope is still there

 

There’s a moment, quiet or loud, when life feels like it’s crumbling and you feel you are on the verge of a personal catastrophe.

Maybe it is the loss of something precious or the weight of everything finally getting too heavy.

You think about giving up. Not in a dramatic way, just... fading out of the fight.

But then, something inside you whispers:

What if?

What if there’s still another chance?

What if this crisis is just the end of one chapter, not the whole book?

That whisper is HOPE and although its sound is not loud, it is real.

It is often the only thing you need to take the next step, even if it is small.

Moving on when things are really bad doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine. It means accepting the pain, the loss, the fear and keep walking anyway.

Maybe just one tiny choice at a time, like eating in a different way, breathing deeply, meditating once or twice, or calling a good friend. Perhaps it is just a deep and meaningful sleep...

This is the time to write something down, to reflect, to contemplate, because the new opportunity might not show up in a flash. It may come tiptoeing in when you are not looking.

But it does come. And when it does, you will know that you didn’t give up and you stayed long enough to see what that new possibility.

And that’s where life begins again. Good luck!

How to Filter Out All the Noise

 

Noise can be harmful and new research suggests the damage it causes is even worse than we previously thought.

Technology has offered one solution: noise-cancelling headphones are booming. But despite the innovation, there's still an overwhelming amount of sound: street noise, buzzing cell phones, loud conversations. Noise pollution, especially in urban environments, is on the rise. Colombia recently approved a law to regulate it, but honestly… it’s not working yet.

But not all noise is physical.

There are two other types of noise that can affect our health just as much - and perhaps more deeply - than the sounds outside our windows.

The first kind is internal: the noise of our own worries and the anxiety that has quietly gripped modern society. It hums constantly in the background, making it difficult to think clearly or reflect. And reflection is essential as it is what allows us to understand what is happening in our lives, make good decisions and move forward.

The second kind of noise comes from outside, but not through our ears. It comes from other people and their constant interference in our thoughts. Maybe you think you're immune. Maybe you believe you’re completely independent. But ask yourself: Why do you use that particular brand of soap? Why did you change your job? What shaped your political views?

This noise comes from the not-so-silent world of social media, which feeds us other people’s opinions, judgments and beliefs. It doesn’t just speak; IT SHOUTS! And often, it drowns out our own voice.

For these two kinds of noise, there’s no technological noise-cancelling solution… yet.

Except… there is something we can do.

From experience, I’d recommend three simple practices that can help you filter out the noise and listen to yourself more clearly:

• Meditation and a shift in lifestyle. A regular meditation practice and a healthier, slower lifestyle help reduce the mental buzz of anxiety. Even something as simple as a walk in the park can bring surprising silence.
• Self-esteem. When you build a deeper awareness of your own value, it becomes easier to overcome the pressure of outside opinions. Reflection exercises and inner work can reconnect you with your core, your own voice.
• Boundaries for your attention. Be intentional about what (and who) you allow into your mental space. Curate your social media, your conversations and your environment like you would do with your home.

Filtering the noise isn’t about escaping the world; rather than that, it is about creating enough quiet to listen to what truly matters, that which comes often from deep reflection or from the heart.

A map to understand cause & effect

 

In terms of solving problems and personal change, there is a special element that was forgotten, at least by me: cause & effect.

If there is a sickness, by understanding its symptoms (effect) as connected to a cause, it is easier to heal; if anyone only focus on the symptoms, trying to fix that, it is possible the cause remain intact and later on, symptoms will come back. It is a principle that medicine follows, and so other areas of our human complex society: if I am hurt by someone (effect), by finding the cause (something I said) I may fix it; if you are not going well in terms of business (effect), by finding the cause (bad marketing skills), it is possible to solve the problem, and many other examples.

However, in life things are not so simple. One thing is the ONE CAUSE – ONE EFFECT, but what about if there are many CAUSES and one effect? Or worse, when causes and effects are not easy to track…

So, here is a small map of a sort and I hope it helps you to deal with different situations in which you can identify causes and effects.

• One cause, one effect. It is the easiest one, but the trap lies in trying to fix the effect and leaving the cause alone. Go for the cause, the effect will fade away.
• One cause, several effects. If you see situations come to your life and you can track them to one common cause, again go for the cause, but because there are many effects, work on them too; it will make life easier.
• Several causes, one effect. Yes, it is possible that one single effect has different sources, which means it will take time to solve it. Solution would be the same as before, but my personal suggestion is… forget the causes! Just focus on the effects and, at your own pace, deal with a few causes that come on your way.
• Several causes, several effects… or not! This is the highest level of complexity and causes & effects model won’t work on this case. Focus on your objectives in life, check about your specialties and make a plan to move forward.

Hope this map works for you!

The wonderful story of your life

 

A short video touched me a lot, showing the work of Dr. Essam Daod. At one point, he describes what happened to a young child and how he was able to change the perception of that boy – instead of a poor refugee, he was a hero as he crossed the sea!

So, during a walk I remembered the story of someone who went through a tough moment in her trip and when she finally reached the final destination, a very spiritual person looked at her and said: You are very courageous. At that moment, it seems she has forgotten the whole ordeal and joy filled her heart.

We all go through traumatic events, small or big, and it is worthwhile to remind ourselves we are heroes crossing our own sea, we are very courageous and our story is wonderful. It will be especially useful when the situation is fresh.

If it took place sometime ago, you can reflect a bit not much as about what happened, but your victory, no matter its size.

If it took place a long time ago, you can talk to yourself in a positive manner, reminding yourself about how you were able to reach this point in life. You are a hero; you just need a little reminder…

To count with someone

 

In a world in which the tendency is to be by yourself, it is good to remind everyone the sweetness of having another person by your side and I want to share two stories about that.

Many times, I have stayed at a friend’s apartment in Mumbai, India and I remember when his father was staying along with him; old and with no duties at the house, the couple used to take care of his needs. In fact, his wife, a doctor like him, left her job to help in taking care of her father-in-law. I would never question their culture and that dedication to the elderly, but the fact she left her job…  Eventually, her father-in-law passed away; next time I went to stay with them, something magical took place. First, I noticed a different vibration at their place and then I heard the news she got a new job: this time, she was working as dean at a medicine college for women. By taking care of that old man, she enriched herself, the magic of having someone around or, in her case, to be the one that others have around.

Even though I am single, I have been living in a community for many years. The dynamic is very different than a family, but there is a special energy of cooperating beyond our own limitations. This time, it has been my turn to feel the enrichment by other points of views, by the chance to help others to change their points of view and by understanding sometimes, it takes time to match different points of view. An interesting example is food – by the way, they come from a different cultural background and what is delicious for them, for me it is… ok… My main contribution was to introduce PIZZA to special occasions and I was amazed one day, by knowing someone was able to cook it better than me. They also enriched me in so many ways…

Do you realize how rich you are becoming by counting with others?

Do you know how rich others are becoming because they can count with you?

Victory over THOSE THINGS you cannot defeat

 

There are things you cannot defeat…

There are those projects at work you will never be able to finalize.

There are people you won’t forgive. Never!

There are memories that cannot fade away and they will keep haunting you forever.

However…

By just trying to finalize a project at work, you will be developing new skills, a new attitude and a new perspective on your profession. Maybe the project is not as important as those things you are acquiring.

Many years ago, a yoga teacher was sharing about a person she could not forgive. It was a surprise for me and for the people who were with her, and yet it was like taking a course of “how to forgive the unforgivable”. Maybe you cannot forgive someone, but I know you are a good person and I am sure you are not wishing bad things to those people. So, instead of trying to forgive or think of forgiving, just visualize that person happy and peaceful… I am sure that pure energy will reach them.

And instead of being haunted by old memories, why don’t you create new ones? Go for a walk at a beautiful place, invite someone to have lunch with you or simply read a book that inspires you; new beautiful and powerful memories will serve as candles that will illuminate the castle of memories and will prevent the ghost of bad memories to ever come back.

There are things you cannot defeat, but you cannot be defeated either.

In fact, victory can be as simple as reframing what you want to get, wishing the best to others and lighting a lamp in your mind.

Self-transformation: is that easy?

 

At so many places, people are talking about self-transformation as if it is the easiest thing anybody can do. Maybe not so much a complete self-transformation, more a constant advertisement of the possibility of change: Easy, very easy change.

I am in a self-transformation path and I should tell you it is that easy… and yet, so difficult!

The easiness comes from the fact real transformation is often going back to a natural state of life, and what is easier than being natural? A big part of a transformation process is to get rid of the unnatural parts of a personality and lifestyle.

The difficulty comes from getting rid of something so unnatural that has turned into natural due to its use.

For instance, a common aspect of self-transformation is a big change in the routine: getting up earlier, including exercises in the routine, starting to meditate, etc. In fact, all of these are natural, I assure you, but after a while of getting up late, not doing exercises and not meditating, all of these must be relearned.

Easy and difficult… that’s the challenge!

So, if you want to make a big change in your life…

Understand what you are going to change and how.

Develop the awareness of how natural is that state – a retreat, for instance, can help that realization.

Walk your path with that awareness and whenever things don’t go as planned or desired, just remember you are going back to a natural state.

Don’t struggle with your own inner resistance; instead, develop resilience by meditating, studying or other methods.

Good luck with your self-transformation!

Victory or defeat

Victory or defeat is a relative perception. An example is given by Peter Drucker, the famous consultant and guru, about a leader who overstepped his faculties and tried to get advantage of a situation. It was clearly unethical and Drucker shows how the leader got his victory, only to turn into a horrible defeat a few years later and his leadership ceased to be considered magnificent.

In a very recent spiritual class, I was touched by a point that stated a short-term defeat can be a long-term victory.

Common people often don’t think in these terms - victory or defeat - but that’s our lives: “I have got this job”, “I lost that client”, “My friend stopped talking to me”, “My child got the best marks at college”, and so on.

Sometimes we win.

By working on our awareness, we are able to take the maximum of our victories in such a way that we can win again in the future. Besides, we may inspire others to win and, last thing, if for any reason our victory meant a defeat for another person, we can help the other one to feel OK, process what happened and be victorious next time.

Sometimes we lose.

We can always do alchemy and convert defeat into victory by:

• Learning a powerful lesson that empowers the self for the future.
• Imbibing a few useful qualities like humility, which otherwise wouldn’t come to our lives.
• Changing defeat into a step closer to victory, as there is always a valuable experience that comes with defeat.

Translating that into our lives:

• “I have got this job.” I will work in a very effective way, being aware that I am inspiring others too. If, for any reason, someone I know lost an opportunity like this, I will find a time to talk with the person and see how to help them.
• “I lost that client.” It is time for deep reflection, to understand what happened, maybe to talk with a friend, my boss or a coach about it. And move on! There are more clients out there.
• “My friend stopped talking to me.” I will make some time to try and talk to them, by using honesty and kindness. Meanwhile, I will send them best wishes and positive thoughts.
• “My child got the best marks at college.” I will celebrate along with them, but I will be clear my love for them is not conditioned to whatever happened in their lives; I love them as they are.

I wish you the best victory, a real victory.

Overcoming the effect situations of high-impact

 

Two scenes come to my mind. The first one was when I was still a child and I broke my arm while practicing judo; my master at the time did not handle the situation well and I was not treated as I should have been. When I finally went to a doctor, many days later, I was told that it was too late and that I would forever have trouble doing certain movements.

Another scene was in my late teens; I was just coming to Brahma Kumaris, this wonderful spiritual path that I have been following for almost 40 years. A teacher was giving a class and she was a psychologist, so she shared a concept unknown to me until that point, related to the impact of situations with a high emotional impact. I experienced such clarity that many of my problems up to that moment (and in the future as well) started to make sense and it became easier for me to find solutions.

I mention these two scenes because they exemplify a lot of what a trauma is: the encounter of a person with a high-impact situation. There are several examples:

• Physical, as in the case of my arm.
• When you lose the job on which you depend so much, a financial trauma.
• Relational, in the case of the death of someone or the dissolution of a family.
• Emotional, which can come from an experience of abandonment.

However, the question here is how to overcome these high impact situations as they cannot be avoided (most of the time). But there is nothing that really prevents us from handling their effect.

From my previous narrative, I would suggest two things:

• The first thing to consider is to get help from someone who can really cooperate in the work of relief and healing.
• Second, reflect and understand the effect of this on life, particularly habits that can emerge and affect life negatively.

By doing this, you can initially alleviate the impact of the situation, process what happened and, consequently, begin a healing path, transforming the trauma into a learning experience.

The fine balance for your success…

 

There is a special secret for those who believe we all have an inner compass: the East and the West.

Success – real success – comes when there is a balance of excellence in all areas of life: personal, working, health, spirituality, etc. This is why real success is often out of reach…

A few examples: you probably know people, whose health is amazing, but their relationship with others is horrible, and there are those whose career is ascending constantly, despite the fact they feel down in a personal level.

With this special secret, any person can reach for that balance: at every activity, use the light of your spirituality (the East) and the road of your life experiences (the West).

Before doing anything, particularly if it is impacting or relevant, practice spirituality by meditating or a praying. Also, check if the present capacity matches the need of those actions; if it doesn’t, maybe training is in order.

During activities, keep the spiritual light on; something written can serve as a reminder and from time to time, read it. Jump into the action, by being effective and highly productive.

After those actions, sit down and practice spirituality again. Gratitude may be expressed or just a reflection on what took place. Learning the lessons and planning changes will help improving performance next time.

Check your values at every step

 

Being a value-oriented person is much more than just being a nice person – it means your actions are connected with your core.

Let me explain: we are like lettuce. It means we have several layers, but there is a central core, the innermost part of the self. Most of the time, our relationships, work, study and the various ways we interact with the world are done from the most superficial layer, which is basically what we write in our curriculum vitae.

However, the main source of energy is in the core of our being, which is full of peace, love, purity and many other wonderful qualities. They try very hard to come into our interaction and to be part of our lives, and that is through values.

When we enable our values to be part of our lives by shaping our decisions, the resulting actions will be full of those qualities and the outcome will be an accomplished life. Then, why don’t we do that?

First reason is that we are used to act from the outer layer, and it is not that bad… a few stains here and there, that’s all! Most of the time… To change it we need to work on our attitude and our awareness, and go deeply, before taking any decision and any step.

Second reason is not good, but we are living in a world in which values have become political weapons. That is the environment we are watching in the news and we experience it when we start to talk with other people. We have to depoliticize values and that starts by not imposing our values onto other people.

The third reason is that people don’t have access to their core. It is often done by praying, meditating or living a spiritual life. Besides those who do have access don’t always implement them into their mundane lives… they are a bit flying in the moon… The best thing here is to start using some technique to live those values and to make sure they also become part of a normal common life.

A purpose for leaders of the self

 

What is your purpose?

If you are a very educated person, you will ask back: what???

Purpose is an inner guidance that makes the individual to do certain things and not others. As humans, we have a few of these, but purpose is the one with the most impact.

There are of course many different types of purpose, but I am talking here about a higher purpose, something that is not conditioned by a period of time and it serves as part of the inner compass.

Every time someone is REALLY following their purpose, naturally there will be satisfaction in life, all will be successful and the person will feel accomplishment at every step of the process.

However, if the person is not following that in terms of actions and behavior, or even attitude, then satisfaction will come only when there is visible profit, not everything will be successful and the person won’t feel accomplishment all the time.

Lastly, if the person is GOING AGAINST their purpose… Well, there will be dissatisfaction most of the time, even when there is success it will look like a failure and there will be the feeling this is not fulfilling my purpose in life.

Let’s work on a simple example: a new job.

If the job is aligned to the purpose – I feel my purpose is being fulfilled here – there will be enthusiasm while working, tasks will be fruitful and the person will feel they are progressing by working there.

If the job is NOT aligned to the purpose – I should be doing something else, I should be working somewhere else or in another thing – then there will be enthusiasm from time to time, but most of the time, the person will just do their job; the person will fulfill their role in the tasks, but there will be a lack of belonging and so they may be done in an automatic way, and they will be probably looking for another job right now!

If the job is AGAINST the purpose – What am I doing here? – there will be lack of enthusiasm and maybe an attitude of rebellion against it; this person perhaps will affect other people and the work climate, and finally they will feel stuck there and they may try to do their worse at their position.

So, what is your purpose? As it will impact your whole life, it is better you know it and you live it.

Quo Vadis?

 

Where are you going? It is a very old question… and yet, so important for days like the ones we are living.

There is a general sensation of earth as a boat adrift, without a clear leadership and very little initiative from people in general. The leadership that exists is often restricted to a small sector and its influence does not spread, besides our leaders look like they need lots of help due to the complexity of the present.

In relation to people in general, I feel we are not taking advantage of this unique moment in history: we can all be leaders… of the self.

So instead of looking for people who would tell us where to go, what to be in the future and how to create a new world, it is our turn – yours and mine – to find that out.

So, ask yourself: where am I going? The answer will motivate you to give the first steps.