Self-transformation: is that easy?

 

At so many places, people are talking about self-transformation as if it is the easiest thing anybody can do. Maybe not so much a complete self-transformation, more a constant advertisement of the possibility of change: Easy, very easy change.

I am in a self-transformation path and I should tell you it is that easy… and yet, so difficult!

The easiness comes from the fact real transformation is often going back to a natural state of life, and what is easier than being natural? A big part of a transformation process is to get rid of the unnatural parts of a personality and lifestyle.

The difficulty comes from getting rid of something so unnatural that has turned into natural due to its use.

For instance, a common aspect of self-transformation is a big change in the routine: getting up earlier, including exercises in the routine, starting to meditate, etc. In fact, all of these are natural, I assure you, but after a while of getting up late, not doing exercises and not meditating, all of these must be relearned.

Easy and difficult… that’s the challenge!

So, if you want to make a big change in your life…

Understand what you are going to change and how.

Develop the awareness of how natural is that state – a retreat, for instance, can help that realization.

Walk your path with that awareness and whenever things don’t go as planned or desired, just remember you are going back to a natural state.

Don’t struggle with your own inner resistance; instead, develop resilience by meditating, studying or other methods.

Good luck with your self-transformation!

Victory or defeat

Victory or defeat is a relative perception. An example is given by Peter Drucker, the famous consultant and guru, about a leader who overstepped his faculties and tried to get advantage of a situation. It was clearly unethical and Drucker shows how the leader got his victory, only to turn into a horrible defeat a few years later and his leadership ceased to be considered magnificent.

In a very recent spiritual class, I was touched by a point that stated a short-term defeat can be a long-term victory.

Common people often don’t think in these terms - victory or defeat - but that’s our lives: “I have got this job”, “I lost that client”, “My friend stopped talking to me”, “My child got the best marks at college”, and so on.

Sometimes we win.

By working on our awareness, we are able to take the maximum of our victories in such a way that we can win again in the future. Besides, we may inspire others to win and, last thing, if for any reason our victory meant a defeat for another person, we can help the other one to feel OK, process what happened and be victorious next time.

Sometimes we lose.

We can always do alchemy and convert defeat into victory by:

• Learning a powerful lesson that empowers the self for the future.
• Imbibing a few useful qualities like humility, which otherwise wouldn’t come to our lives.
• Changing defeat into a step closer to victory, as there is always a valuable experience that comes with defeat.

Translating that into our lives:

• “I have got this job.” I will work in a very effective way, being aware that I am inspiring others too. If, for any reason, someone I know lost an opportunity like this, I will find a time to talk with the person and see how to help them.
• “I lost that client.” It is time for deep reflection, to understand what happened, maybe to talk with a friend, my boss or a coach about it. And move on! There are more clients out there.
• “My friend stopped talking to me.” I will make some time to try and talk to them, by using honesty and kindness. Meanwhile, I will send them best wishes and positive thoughts.
• “My child got the best marks at college.” I will celebrate along with them, but I will be clear my love for them is not conditioned to whatever happened in their lives; I love them as they are.

I wish you the best victory, a real victory.

Overcoming the effect situations of high-impact

 

Two scenes come to my mind. The first one was when I was still a child and I broke my arm while practicing judo; my master at the time did not handle the situation well and I was not treated as I should have been. When I finally went to a doctor, many days later, I was told that it was too late and that I would forever have trouble doing certain movements.

Another scene was in my late teens; I was just coming to Brahma Kumaris, this wonderful spiritual path that I have been following for almost 40 years. A teacher was giving a class and she was a psychologist, so she shared a concept unknown to me until that point, related to the impact of situations with a high emotional impact. I experienced such clarity that many of my problems up to that moment (and in the future as well) started to make sense and it became easier for me to find solutions.

I mention these two scenes because they exemplify a lot of what a trauma is: the encounter of a person with a high-impact situation. There are several examples:

• Physical, as in the case of my arm.
• When you lose the job on which you depend so much, a financial trauma.
• Relational, in the case of the death of someone or the dissolution of a family.
• Emotional, which can come from an experience of abandonment.

However, the question here is how to overcome these high impact situations as they cannot be avoided (most of the time). But there is nothing that really prevents us from handling their effect.

From my previous narrative, I would suggest two things:

• The first thing to consider is to get help from someone who can really cooperate in the work of relief and healing.
• Second, reflect and understand the effect of this on life, particularly habits that can emerge and affect life negatively.

By doing this, you can initially alleviate the impact of the situation, process what happened and, consequently, begin a healing path, transforming the trauma into a learning experience.

The fine balance for your success…

 

There is a special secret for those who believe we all have an inner compass: the East and the West.

Success – real success – comes when there is a balance of excellence in all areas of life: personal, working, health, spirituality, etc. This is why real success is often out of reach…

A few examples: you probably know people, whose health is amazing, but their relationship with others is horrible, and there are those whose career is ascending constantly, despite the fact they feel down in a personal level.

With this special secret, any person can reach for that balance: at every activity, use the light of your spirituality (the East) and the road of your life experiences (the West).

Before doing anything, particularly if it is impacting or relevant, practice spirituality by meditating or a praying. Also, check if the present capacity matches the need of those actions; if it doesn’t, maybe training is in order.

During activities, keep the spiritual light on; something written can serve as a reminder and from time to time, read it. Jump into the action, by being effective and highly productive.

After those actions, sit down and practice spirituality again. Gratitude may be expressed or just a reflection on what took place. Learning the lessons and planning changes will help improving performance next time.

Check your values at every step

 

Being a value-oriented person is much more than just being a nice person – it means your actions are connected with your core.

Let me explain: we are like lettuce. It means we have several layers, but there is a central core, the innermost part of the self. Most of the time, our relationships, work, study and the various ways we interact with the world are done from the most superficial layer, which is basically what we write in our curriculum vitae.

However, the main source of energy is in the core of our being, which is full of peace, love, purity and many other wonderful qualities. They try very hard to come into our interaction and to be part of our lives, and that is through values.

When we enable our values to be part of our lives by shaping our decisions, the resulting actions will be full of those qualities and the outcome will be an accomplished life. Then, why don’t we do that?

First reason is that we are used to act from the outer layer, and it is not that bad… a few stains here and there, that’s all! Most of the time… To change it we need to work on our attitude and our awareness, and go deeply, before taking any decision and any step.

Second reason is not good, but we are living in a world in which values have become political weapons. That is the environment we are watching in the news and we experience it when we start to talk with other people. We have to depoliticize values and that starts by not imposing our values onto other people.

The third reason is that people don’t have access to their core. It is often done by praying, meditating or living a spiritual life. Besides those who do have access don’t always implement them into their mundane lives… they are a bit flying in the moon… The best thing here is to start using some technique to live those values and to make sure they also become part of a normal common life.

A purpose for leaders of the self

 

What is your purpose?

If you are a very educated person, you will ask back: what???

Purpose is an inner guidance that makes the individual to do certain things and not others. As humans, we have a few of these, but purpose is the one with the most impact.

There are of course many different types of purpose, but I am talking here about a higher purpose, something that is not conditioned by a period of time and it serves as part of the inner compass.

Every time someone is REALLY following their purpose, naturally there will be satisfaction in life, all will be successful and the person will feel accomplishment at every step of the process.

However, if the person is not following that in terms of actions and behavior, or even attitude, then satisfaction will come only when there is visible profit, not everything will be successful and the person won’t feel accomplishment all the time.

Lastly, if the person is GOING AGAINST their purpose… Well, there will be dissatisfaction most of the time, even when there is success it will look like a failure and there will be the feeling this is not fulfilling my purpose in life.

Let’s work on a simple example: a new job.

If the job is aligned to the purpose – I feel my purpose is being fulfilled here – there will be enthusiasm while working, tasks will be fruitful and the person will feel they are progressing by working there.

If the job is NOT aligned to the purpose – I should be doing something else, I should be working somewhere else or in another thing – then there will be enthusiasm from time to time, but most of the time, the person will just do their job; the person will fulfill their role in the tasks, but there will be a lack of belonging and so they may be done in an automatic way, and they will be probably looking for another job right now!

If the job is AGAINST the purpose – What am I doing here? – there will be lack of enthusiasm and maybe an attitude of rebellion against it; this person perhaps will affect other people and the work climate, and finally they will feel stuck there and they may try to do their worse at their position.

So, what is your purpose? As it will impact your whole life, it is better you know it and you live it.

Quo Vadis?

 

Where are you going? It is a very old question… and yet, so important for days like the ones we are living.

There is a general sensation of earth as a boat adrift, without a clear leadership and very little initiative from people in general. The leadership that exists is often restricted to a small sector and its influence does not spread, besides our leaders look like they need lots of help due to the complexity of the present.

In relation to people in general, I feel we are not taking advantage of this unique moment in history: we can all be leaders… of the self.

So instead of looking for people who would tell us where to go, what to be in the future and how to create a new world, it is our turn – yours and mine – to find that out.

So, ask yourself: where am I going? The answer will motivate you to give the first steps.

 

Quicksand and slow-sand

 

I was “playing” with the idea of a quicksand… OK, maybe it is not a nice image as per the general perception, if someone steps on a quicksand, they are swallowed by earth! That’s why the first rule is CHECK THE PLACE WHERE YOU ARE STEPPING.

However, if you do step on a quicksand, slow movements will help and the best you stay quiet, the hardest will be for the quicksand to take you in. Your chances of survival will increase by doing that.

Now, if we think about SITUATIONS as quicksand, we can extract a few lessons and turn it into a slow-sand, a process in which you are changing the pace of life and going deep.

Always be cautious. If you can foresee a bad situation coming, don’t step into it just like that; wait a bit, reflect, contemplate and meditate… If it is a quicksand – something that will swallow your energy, your potential, or your wealth – don’t step into it. Look for alternatives instead.

If you are feeling situations are already taking too much from you, slow your movements, that is, be more reflexive and contemplative. Take your time whenever you can and talk with someone you trust about what you are living. Don’t let yourself be dragged by circumstances.

Silence does three things when situations are like quicksand: 1) silence empowers and so your resilience increases; 2) silence clarifies what you are going through and, in this way, you are not afraid, and 3) silence heals since many times this type of environment may hurt you.

So, are you ready to convert the quicksand of your life into a slow-sand?

About life in these strange times – taking advantage of an opportunity

 

Three recent scenes summarize for me how we are living:

People were avoiding a place close to their houses due to the COVID virus, and yet that same people travelled to another country, exposing themselves to the same virus (no masks on the way)!

I’ve passed through sunshine, drizzle, storm, cloudy and rain… in just one walk, less than an hour!

A dog walking with its dog walker… without leash!

What is the meaning and the lesson to be learnt?

• There is a lot of fear, illogical unreasonable fear, which makes people to not reflect and instead to act on instinct, wasting wonderful opportunities. Fear prevents people to take a chance.
• Another reason people don’t take a chance comes in the form of an obstacle. In fact, whenever someone is trying to change something in their life, complications come on the way as if life doesn’t want the person to change. Keep going, keep moving; the weather in your life will change and you will adapt.
• Freedom comes from the power of adaptation to new situations. Not adapting in the sense of losing a dream or an objective, rather than that, by throwing unnecessary thoughts and emotions away. In other words, enjoy the ride, life is giving!

What are the scenes in your life that inspire you to understand the world?

A new world starts with your mind

 

Too many people promise a new city, a new country, a new way of doing things, a new business, a new man or woman…

But, you know, everything new starts with a new mind. For instance, let’s say we want a new world (we want it, right?):

Sow the seeds for a new world. They come from the best part of you – from your courage, honesty and love, from the sweetness you treat others and the pure intentions you have when you are working. Let all of that floods your mind with good thoughts and wonderful feelings.

Ah, before that… plough your mind a little bit. Unfortunately, we are so much engrossed into a world with so many problems that the idea of a total new world in which those problems are solved, are easy to solve or simply don’t exist is insane… And yet… that’s part of the game of thinking of a new world. Start to read more about a new world and talk with other people; awaken those crazy ideas that a better world IS REALLY POSSIBLE!

Take care of those thoughts. The best way to create a new world is from a new self; so, start to change little things here and there, improve your habits and your life’s quality. The other day, I was watching a video that showed how a guy moved out of a crowded city to give a better quality for his dog – why don’t we do a similar thing to our own selves?

Water it daily and be careful with the birds! You need to create a new thought every day for a new world; for instance, one day you may think on how the economics will be and another day, how the politics will be there. But, you know the birds, they love to eat new green leaves… in your case, new ideas will be tested and fought by your best friends, your mum and dad, your kids, and of course your boss and mother-in-law… So, be prepared to have good arguments and maybe, to encourage them to think of a new world too, why not?

The crop will take time. A new world starts with in your mind and with your mind, but it takes time to come to reality. Still, believe me, it will come one day… just be patient and keep on cultivating it. One day, the new world will blossom for you!

The economy of thoughts

 

Too many people are concerned about Economy these days, but what about the economy of thoughts?

Thoughts are responsible for success and failure, for love and hate, for good and bad experiences. They are also responsible for emotions and feelings, for overcoming barriers or for avoiding them.

They are the essence of our lives and here are 3 questions that will help you to understand and extract more benefit from the power of your thoughts.

 

How much are you saving and how much are you wasting?

Saving thoughts means to think what is needed at the appropriate time. Thoughts are a powerful tool to overcome situations or to make decisions, among other things, but if you don’t think what is necessary or at the right time, they won’t contribute to your success.

For instance, if you have a problem, do you keep on thinking of the problem again and again, or do you make time and reflect on your own power, increasing your self-respect? In the first case, you are just wasting thoughts, but in the second you are giving yourself a chance, that is, you are saving them.

 

What is the quality of your thoughts and how it creates an impact in your life?

According to the quality of your thoughts, so it will be the quality of your words and actions, or at least it will be a fundamental factor.

Let’s say you have to prepare a presentation to a client, but your thoughts are not there… they may be at your home as your child is sick or even in the next football match.

Of course, that won’t interfere with the presentation, particularly the data or the rehearsed pitch, but it will influence the way you present it. If your competition is fully focused and offer the same data (and price), their focus will be more than a reason for the client to prefer them instead of you.

 

Your trade of thoughts, how is it going?

When you think of others and they think of you, there is… an exchange of energy and vibrations. That is like a subtle and invisible trade we all do.

Imagine a scene in which you are trying to sell something to a person and a colleague is just sitting by your side, watching… then, you feel a vibration, something in that person that says it won’t work. Automatically, your self-esteem goes to the bottom, you may stutter a bit and at last, you leave without a deal.

OK, it sounds a bit dramatic, but I am sure everyone went through a similar situation in which the trade of thoughts between another person and you was toxic and it affects your performance.

On the bright side, the same thing happens when your colleague smiles encouragingly at you and you are able to get a deal!

You may not see thoughts, but their reflection – a smile, the eyes, the hands – are very clear and they show how the trading going is.

 

By working on the Economy of thoughts, you will be able to see a difference in your life.

A trip to the infinite and beyond

 

Let’s travel far, far away…

 

Meditation is a first means to go beyond the world we live. It is not that we really go beyond, but our mind and thoughts take us much beyond our environment and the physical, mental and emotional experiences. This opens the door for the self to have a different understanding of life, so unique…

When we reflect by journaling or just sitting down, looking at the horizon, we allow our mind and thoughts to see the world from behind an invisible mirror. From our perspective, we look at reality, we understand it and we can even make decisions about it, but all the time from behind that mirror…

For this trip, we need to comprehend and live the difference between inner and outer experiences. Maybe they are correlated or not, interdependent or not, totally different or incredibly similar, they are not the same. Travelling to the infinite and beyond means, in this sense, to submerge in the inner experiences and to let your mind to take you to a different universe.

 

Come on, let’s travel!

And then I was born

 

I was born out of love and a bit of rebellion, the rebellious spirit of the ‘60s from past century.

I was brought up with care and love, a rustic unshaped love, but lots of love. My needs were satisfied and I felt protected.

I was told and guided… not much guidance there, I had to make up my own mind about what to do.

I was… kind of abandoned on the way… and then…

I was born… out of love and care and power, not physically, but spiritually.

I was brought up with so much more love and care and a new spiritual family. My needs were satisfied, I felt protected.

I was told and guided all the way, by God and people close to Him. That helped me to understand my part in this world and to make decisions about what to do.

I was taken care, I am still cared and I also learned to help others satisfy their own needs and to help others to feel protected.

Today, I celebrate both births I have taken, in the same day.

Gratitude for my parents and family.

Gratitude for my spiritual Parents and family.

 

Does the year really change?

 

What is change, really? It means something is different than before.

A river changes its course or composition, a tree grows, animals go through the cycle of life, and humans…

We, humans…?

With humans, things are more complex. We could say we change according to our age or our career. It can be that our change was just esthetical or ethical, we change our perception about other people or even an experience of past.

Then we come to the change of the year… We all know the year does not really change; it is just a perception or a system invented by us. In fact, the Chinese New Year, is a few weeks later and a big part of humankind will celebrate THAT New Year, not the December, 31^st one…

It means that although the year does not change and nothing changes with the year, it changes… in our minds.

And there are 3 things to explore and have a better change of year:

• The new year is a big opportunity. The things you couldn’t do before, the things you dream and those you don’t dream, all can happen this year.
• Training and education. To make those opportunities real there is a need in terms of training. The change curve is quite steep nowadays for anything, even the harmless objects at home, particularly with AI’s invading the day-to-day life. So, understand the opportunities being opened with this new year and what qualities or competencies you will need to harvest them, and plan your education process.
• Resources… Yes, you will need resources to really take advantage of anything emerging with the new year. Besides the physical wealth that will help to get a proper education, there are also intangible resources, such as peace, courage and enthusiasm. Words of wisdom from a close friend or relative and the millions of videos, books, lectures, workshops, seminars, etc. that promote wellness or self-improvement, work like gold too.

This new year, identify the opportunities and dreams you want to fulfill and live, educate and train yourself to achieve them, and trust the invisible resources within you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!