A little magic trick to change situations

Changing things is not easy. Changing people is very difficult. Changing yourself…

Well, probably that is not easy either, but it is what you can do as you always have the possibility of changing the self.

And there is a little magic trick I can share with you: when you change yourself, particularly when you change your mindset, things change… OK, they don’t necessarily change, but let’s see an example.

You have a very difficult boss, one of the worse you have ever had! You are often arguing with them and you feel they don’t allow you to grow. You like the present workplace and position you have, salary is good, nice people…

So… if you would try to change your boss, what would it happen? Probably nothing, they maybe scold you for trying such a thing, even fire you.

Another option… you may try to change your job. However, besides it is hard to do in the present circumstances, are you sure you are going to have a better boss? No certainty here, right?

Let’s try a bit of magic! Start looking for good things about your boss: they are very well educated, in fact, their curriculum is really impressive, they connect very well with customers and they are a good family person (which is something important for you).

The problems you are having with him are not going away because of that, but they refer to your development and the way things work.

By changing your mindset, you ask yourself: Why don’t I help them to find a new job instead of fighting them? After a few hours browsing, you prepare a list of possible options, a very good profile for your boss and you send to as many companies as possible. After two months, old boss goes (for a very good position) and a new boss comes! Hope is back!

Other magic tricks that would be available in this case: you could go through training and get a better position in the same company and you could apply for another branch of the same company.

Check your problems and use this magic wand to solve them. Magic is available to all of us and the method is the same: instead of trying to change outside, reflect, see which changes you can do within and then implement.

The challenge of real independence

Before being a teenager, the only thing I wanted was to be independent. I used to imagine myself making decisions about my own life in relation to career, work, personal life… but I didn’t imagine myself having to wash my own clothes, to cook my own food and, worse, to earn my own money!

The dream of independence is a strange fantasy in which a person only thinks of benefits, without their cost; still it is not bad. In fact, the idea of independence took me to where I am today and I do recommend anyone to exercise it.

I would like to give you two tips for a successful experience of independence.

A real tip is to be PATIENT with yourself and life in general. Your independence depends on several factors and it takes time for them to be ready for you, meanwhile it is good to feel INTERDEPENDENT, instead of dependent. It is much more than washing dishes once a week or going to the shopping for the house, it happens when you recognize the other’s independence, you respect it and you help them to develop it, which will help you in your own independence.

Second tip: be PERSEVERANT. Lots of obstacles will come your way, either because it seems life is conspiring so you don’t become independent or you are thinking you were not made for that and it is better to go back to your mum’s house. Just keep on going a bit more and you may set some dates in terms of aims to be fulfilled, which is quite helpful. Another thing that is helpful is to increase your capacity by attending a few courses, meditate more and changing your lifestyle.

The essence of meditation

When there is a big problem you can’t resolve, it is common that you just let your mind fly a bit, beyond the problem…

When you are so happy that laughter cannot express it and you decide that, instead of sharing with others, you just let your thoughts fly very high…

When you are feeling so peaceful that your mind gets calmed and even reality seems to slow down…

Meditating is basically to abstract yourself from reality and turn your mind – which generates thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions – towards something else.

By meditating you allow yourself to go out of the box you are at the moment and find other possibilities, other avenues to ride the chariot of your mind.

I have been meditating for almost 40 years and although I can name you at least 10 benefits and I can describe the method to meditating by heart, I still have to capture its essence every single day.

Because every day my mind tries to dive into the problems that come up in my life.

Every time I am happy, my mind generates so many thoughts on how to share that happiness with others.

Whenever I get some moments of peace, I want to go to sleep or just relax by watching or reading something.

To meditate may be a struggle, or a game in which you are the one who will be victorious. It depends on several factors, but with a good method, you will be able to control your mind.

However, the essence of meditation is not about controlling; it is about liberating and focusing. I have learned that, instead of controlling my thoughts and mind, I can free them from several subtle chains and I focus onto something powerful and beautiful.

When the mind finds solutions, pleasure or peace in that direction, meditation becomes natural, the struggle ends and you win this subtle game.

 

Do you want to meditate? I recommend you go to Brahma Kumaris and check the raja yoga meditation.

Religions and rituals

I never thought I had a religious experience, until many years late in my life, but still there was something that amazed me: Jesus Christ, who founded the Christian religion, was not a Christian…

Fast forward and I am exposed to a new notion in relation to religion by the simple word dharma. And it means much, much more than just religion: the lifestyle, a form of relating the others, a mission in life… In that sense, Christ was the first Christian.

That simply made so much sense! Religion is more than rituals and scriptures, priests and hierarchy; religion as dharma is how someone lives according to a set of principles and values, instead of how to pray or which cloth to wear.

And that applies in all aspects of our life. Let’s take for example our approach to the work: am I working just because of money or because of my diploma? Am I working according to my vocation and the energy it generates in my life?

Much of our lives we just live as a ritual… it is time to identify our dharma and align our reality with it.

What to forget, what to remember

Forgetting and remembering are two sides of the same coin: consciousness.

I am not talking here of oblivion where memories are erased or blurred as if they were behind a fog.

Nor do I speak of the memory as the obsessive thought that does not allow us to erase something from the mind.

I speak of the conscious act of recovering valuable memories, since along with them, virtues, values ​​and inner powers will arise. These memories can be the solution to a problem present at work, a conflict with another person or they can give rise to hope in the face of a serious health situation.

I speak of the conscious act of reducing guilt, both of oneself and of others; forget so much that we stop blaming. I'm talking about the conscious act of forgetting bad times with a person because you understand them and you know that we all go through bad days. I speak of the conscious act of instead of allowing negative memories, to strengthen the present wonder.

For this, do this simple daily exercise:

Think: What will I remember today that will bring into my life qualities or powers that I need so much?

Think: What are the alternatives I have to relate to a person, so that I forget bad moments of past interactions?

That will help you improve your quality of life and will also give other people an opportunity to improve in your eyes.

Be a conqueror

A few years ago, I watched a powerful video in which a singer, survival of a plane crash with visible scars, sang a song that never came out of my mind.

It was about being a conqueror, because that was what she thought she was. That is what she was.

Many times, you have to overcome something, avoid another situation or just winning over what is taking place. At other times, you must be a conqueror, a victorious soul, because there is a battle outside there…

Being a conqueror does not mean to fight or struggle, but to shift awareness and look at reality with a different outlook.

It means to act in a conscious way, knowing the reasons and meaning of our acts, being aware of our errors and change the needed behaviors.

If you are at a war right now in your life, don’t give up. Work on your awareness and be the conqueror you really are.

Holistic Learning

Our learning is linear, that is, we learn one thing and then another, adding, sometimes subtracting what we have learned before and even changing it. It is linear as there is a clear sequence and it is quite easy to understand the reason that we learn to write a before writing and.

The challenge is to learn things in a linear fashion takes time and at present, a new phenomenon of constant learning is taking place, and for learning to be constant, it demands speed.

If you have a good memory, learning by heart make things easier, particularly when there is complexity. As there are too many things to be learnt, memorization is not the perfect solution.

There are two other ways to learn that may be better for the present moment. The first is based on andragogy, a branch of education dedicated to teach adults and the main premise is that adults learn by themselves, from their experiences and by example. It is not only copy or memory, it is an internal experience and the matter becomes part of the adult’ life. According to this approach, a person can learn something new about the Artificial Intelligence or a new recipe, by practicing, hopefully with a trainer or a coach.

The second way is to think of learning in a holistic perspective. A very simple way to do that is to teach what you want to learn. I have been in that situation and I have seen cases of people learning a language who teach others in a lesser level the same language. A holistic learning is to make learning, sharing and teaching as part of a whole experience in life.

These two ways can be the solution to learn too much in a short length of time – andragogy and holistic learning. Try it, maybe that is the solution.