And the year is gone...

Humans have a habit of creating rituals, special occasions and dates, which really don't exist in life as a tangible thing. And yet, these things can change a country's economy or an entrepreneur's decision.

There is a psychological effect in those rituals, and now that the year is almost gone, it is good to take advantage of it. One day, scientists will prove that a person gets a boost of energy when a new year is coming. What people call hope or opportunity, they will name some kind of endorphin...

There is no doubt that even economy seems to be better, news in general improve (its goodness...) and we think of very difficult things as if they were the easiest ones, but let's take a step further and use this chance of universal mood shift to take a look at the self; perhaps we still have kept our "2014 goals" or we had a few wishes to be fulfilled this year. Were they?

This is a wonderful opportunity to do a balance, to go and hide yourself from all the noise around, and explore within. This balance will help you in setting new goals for the coming year and also to reflect on the improvements you need for yourself.

Because it is not only a year that is gone - part of your life has been gone too. By checking what happened to it, you can progress even more next year.

After all, don't you feel: THIS IS THE YEAR!! So, make the balance, keep the best and develop the worse, and enjoy the adventure of life.

The magic of Christmas

There were two magicians who lived in a mountain, which were not mountains like any other, as the two magicians were the protectors of wildlife magical beings living there. For many centuries, their ancestors took care of those mountains, isolating them from other humans, but in the last century - and being the last of their kind, these men have seen that the total isolation was impossible.

Concerned, they get together to talk, fearing that men and women of the two nearby villages would damage the beautiful mountains and would make the beings living there suffer. After all, what most people saw was suffering in their lives: divorces, unnecessary deaths, poverty, depression, fatigue, corruption, exploitation, etc.

Both reached an agreement: the best way to avoid evil is to improve these two villages. But they disagreed with the method as one magician thought they should make the villages into paradise, the other thought that this process should be gradual. After much discussion, they decided to apply both methods in different villages.

The first village - which saw the mountains bathe in sunlight at dawn - went to sleep in the deep unhappiness of their lives, just to wake up completely transformed: poor people got beautiful houses, ugly people got beautiful faces, and streets woke with lots of green and gold... Frightened and amazed, the inhabitants of this town took to the streets to celebrate the transformation, praising their gods. They went dancing and dancing, happy with the amount of food available and how everything worked alone, as if by magic.

In the early years, the experience proved successful, but one day, a neighbor thought his neighbor had stolen a dozen apples. They fought and they went to sleep very angry with each other. Slowly, anger, greed, lust, attachment and arrogance were taking over the hearts of people, and ten years after the magic, little remained of paradise.

Disgusted, magicians focused on the second village - which saw the mountain bathe in sunlight at twilight – as they went to sleep in the deep unhappiness of their lives. The next day, however, many parts of the town had various plants. Slowly, entire fields could give food and within a year, everyone had what to eat.

The magician, who had that idea, went to live in that village and managed to bring together people of good heart, people able to forgive and love unconditionally. He trained them with patience to love others and help them to love one another. Slowly, divorces were disappearing. He are also trained them in the art of medicine, recognizing herbs that could heal present in nature, and how to take care of personal finance. He also taught them how to care for those who have nothing, enabling them to achieve something in their lives. After ten years, that village reached to the same level as the former village had begun, as a paradise on Earth.

With the success of their experiment, they did the same with the first village, and the same results emerged; that village in ten years had become also a paradise.

They understood that paradise, for a human being, is not something external or artificial; it must be born in the hearts of everyone. Humbly, magicians left their experiment and opened completely the way for the magic mountains, as humans were now as magical as the beings that lived there. And finally, these wizards withdrew from the world, waiting for the beautiful death, knowing their duty has been fulfilled.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

A Christmas Palette

Once upon a time, a small boy looked at a plane in the sky.

It was unexpected. This boy were living at Gray City, where everything was, well, gray: buildings, cars, houses, clothes and, of course, the sky. They told him it was a very prosperous place to live and his family was very happy there. They used to express their happiness sitting in front of the TV set; with little messages on the screen, they knew very well when to laugh, smile, be sad and cry. Their food was also gray...

The little boy did not like to live there. He didn't like to eat gray food everyday - he would love to eat yellow, orange and red food at some point in life!! He didn't like to go to a gray school, where very gray teachers used to teach him gray things - he would love to learn green and blue lessons!

And one day, after a very gray fight with his gray mom, he saw the plane... It was so high in the sky, he couldn't believe he was seeing it; besides, he would swear he was also seeing a patch of... of BLUE!! Yes, around the plane!! Almost invisible, but it was there. He touched his eyes, he touched his heart, and he thanked for that gift. After all, it was Christmas Eve...

From that day on, something happened to him. It started in his dreams: they became blue. Later, he also started to have yellow, orange, red and even purple dreams!

Later, in his mind there was always a patch of blue... sometimes, he could also have green and yellow ideas.

Slowly, he changed. His family could not understand him and they tried to turn him gray again; his teachers did not like him and cause him more troubles than ever, and even his friends were scared of him.

What nobody knew was that he saw the blue sky and he saw the plane and he knew, one day, he would jump into that plane and go to a place, where you could find any color you wanted.

Scared as they were, forcefully trying to change him back into a normal and common gray, they could not do anything... And the small boy grew up into a wonderful guy.

And one day, in another Christmas Eve day, he jumped into a plane, leaving to Multicolor City. And he was so happy...

After one year, however, things did not go as he wanted. He missed things from his city...

What he realized one evening is that even though they have so many colors, still they were all gray inside.

Ok, that was not true... His boss for instance was a perfect red, and his neighbor upstairs, she was totally blue. And then she remembered a friend of a friend at Gray city who was totally a green one. Slowly, he changed... Because colors were not outside.

Nowadays, he is living at Blue City. He constantly goes to Gray City to visit friends and family who appreciate him as he is. Sometimes, he also goes to Multicolor City to enjoy the Carnival and meet friends he got there. And his mind is open for all colors of life...

Ah, did I say that evening when he realized that was... yes, right! Christmas Eve...

A different Christmas

Try to do something different this year.

What do you do for Christmas anyway? Eating, drinking and giving gifts, that's how it goes...

So, let's make some changes in it.

Instead of eating, did you try to feed someone else? I don't mean literally, but there are so many communities around the world, perhaps very close to you, where people don't have much to eat; go there, share what you have with them and appreciate the beauty of Christmas in another point of view. Sing with them, tell them stories and feed them with pieces of your wonderful life.

Drinking? Try to drink water for once. Yes, try to keep yourself healthy and with your mind so clear. Don't let yourself get disturbed by others' arguments, on the contrary enjoy their power and energy, and enjoy their love and passion.

And at the time of giving gifts, remember to smile. Remember to wish the other person well. Remember to give it from the heart, and you will be living a wonderful different merry Christmas.

Is there any chance for world peace?

One of the best techniques movie directors use to keep attention from a very unstable audience, is to create hope in them. Just imagine a terror movie, or nowadays almost any action or detective movie; the best ones are not much the ones that show all gore, blood and flesh, but those that, even though there is a real threat, will give you the false sensation the hero or heroine is going to be saved after all. You spend around two hours waiting for that magical moment where everything goes right, and no matter how many deaths happened you will be happy.

Watching daily news have become similar to watch one of those movies. Sometimes, it seems the world is on the edge of a world peace moment. You can feel from the presenters' words, your president or prime minister's speech, even your neighbors and peers' chat at work. And then... Yes, the monster comes back and destroys all the good.

It is only hope that sustains us in all this process; an illogical hope the monster will be not only defeated, but it will be the last one. And we go and go day by day to watch the news. And if you are one of those very conscious people who stopped to listen to news from a company, you are still very attentive to the gossips around you and the comments on that. And you will keep hope in your heart, all the time.

It is only hope that sustains our economy, lifestyle and all that represents us as a society. Due to hope, pure hope, millions of dollars, even billions, move from one place to another. It is hope that is making some economies stumble back, as if you look with a very cynical eye, there is no reason for that to happen. It is hope that made you to buy that new TV screen in a world that seems to slowly stop watching TV, or purchasing a house where many experts say it is something to avoid.

Will this hope come to life at any point in time? Will we, you and I have the greatest opportunity to stop watching news, or listening to them, or talking to peers at the office about what happened in this or that war, terrorist attack or one of the many forms we see of violence nowadays?

With hope, I feel that day will come. Looking at our own history, I feel that day will come, and it will last more than one day. And the monster, one day, won't come back anymore...

Learning, unlearning and relearning

Learning is a key piece in our adaptation to new environments. That is how we could survive jungles, live in communities and later, in cities.

However, 20th century has somehow affected it. Until the 19th century, learning was not needed all the time... a normal person could learn as much as they wanted until a certain age; after that, the need for learning would happen from time to time - for instance, learning how to be a father or how to deal with retirement. And even the last two examples were easier as there was always the presence of someone in the family who has gone through a similar situation and whom would act as a mentor to them.

As years passed by, the need for learning started to happen much faster and with more frequency. It is not only they would need to learn how to be a father; they would also learn how to be an infant's father, then a teenager's father and finally an adult's father.

Nowadays, you need to learn more and more things, and much more often than before: every time you buy a new smartphone or tablet, or you try a new airline or a new ice-cream shop... Therefore, the old ways of learning don't work in this case.

We had time for theory, ideas to be understood and assimilated, creating a powerful foundation for a further step in the process, the practice. Nowadays, practice may even come before theory...

There is a 3-step model you can use that can be helpful when you are struggling with this fast-pace world:

1. Learn. If it is something you are learning for the first time, understand your own ways of learning; for instance, for some people READING is easier than BE TAUGHT something. In this way, you can choose your right method.
2. Unlearn. Some things you have learned have changed so dramatically that you need to erase that form your memory, so that you can learn about it again. This is more attitude than reality, and it is based on humility and a realization that whatever I have learned about this or that matter, is not working anymore, so I let go of the past and embrace new ways.
3. Relearn. After unlearning something, it is important to use a different methodology to learn something you already knew before. Pick the manual, browse your web or talk to other people about it. Dare to challenge your own assumptions and enjoy the novelty.

Hope that works for you, take care.

Spirituality and life

One of the evolution steps, if that is an evolution, was to separate the religious and non-religious side of people: government, school, hospitals, all that used to be tied to some religion and now they are as far as possible from that. There have been many reasons for it, of course, but in general that has created a particular consequence.

You see, religion is basically two things: tradition and rituals, and spirituality. In fact, what people seem to get distant is from traditions, as they don't accommodate to modern times for easily. What they don't notice is that they lose also access to their own spirituality...

Spirituality cannot be taught, only experienced. It is in every one of us, as we are spiritual beings. By getting in touch with matter, and other people, we created society and, in its beginning and for a long time, spirituality helped society to keep certain aspects of us, spiritual beings, such as values. The way to do that was to create religion where spirituality is present, encased in a way that is understandable to others.

By losing our religion, we are losing also our spirituality and the access to an identity you can't see in a mirror. Worse than that, our values, which used to show in our actions, are also getting lost in the process.

As a reaction to this situation, humans created other ways. Spiritual groups, like the Brahma Kumaris, to which I am part, emerged in an attempt to give people back what they lost: access to their own spirituality. In this way, our values would come back gradually to our lives and our society eventually will turn into that wonderful experience that surely was in the beginning.

Spirituality cannot be lived only inside four walls. Yes, you can practice it in a particular place, but you need to live it at every second of your life, just like you are a man or woman twenty-four hours a day. And that is the big challenge, to make spirituality part of day-to-day life.

Just try it, and see the consequences:

• Go back to your religion and live it as an experience, instead of a tradition; feel it.
• Find a religion you like or you feel you may like it, and live it as an experience, beyond all rituals.
• There are many spiritual groups with their doors open; find one where you "tune" into the vibration, teachings and practices.

And see your values coming back to life, among other changes... See your life changing...

Should I care about others?

In a world of 24 hours media, where you have access to 7 days week information about anyone you want, from anywhere, should you really care about others?

At any moment, there is a conflict or tragedy going on, so I was just remembering a story a friend of mine once told me. He was a very Catholic person and as a good Catholic, he used to like to give alms to the poor. However, one day he was without much money and there were many beggars waiting for their alms - he shared his inner struggle with me as he contemplated and tried to decide to whom he should give his few coins...

Is that happening now, in a massive scale? Should we cry for the victims of Iraq or USA? Should we send money for the refugees in Africa or to the people affected by the last natural tragedy? Or shouldn't we bother at all?

Many years ago, a huge earthquake affected Gujarat, near a place I go every year in India. People from the whole world started to pour money into that state, but I remember someone saying that all was a question of consciousness...

Am I helping because they are poor and helpless, and I have the money? Perhaps, there is another way to see that situation...

In a traditional family, there is always something going on: Frank is jobless again, Mary has problems with her husband or grandpa is not well and someone has to go with him to hospital. Families share responsibilities, in a natural way. Yes, some will complain, but at the end, there is a kind of balance in a normal family.

If we see the whole world as a big family, then it we are looking at a person who is going through a bad moment in their lives. They are not poor, in a bad sense... they are worthy, and if we see them like that, our help won't be a debt for them. We will really be caring about them, in our hearts, not only externally, not only because television is showing us that, but because they are our brothers and sisters.

Not only we will help them at the moment, we will try our best to create conditions so that won't happen again, ever.

Then, it is worthy to care about others. Otherwise, it is better to change the channel...

What will happen in the next 10 years?

The world is full of predictions; some are fulfilled, others are not. And yet, people are always waiting for that...

So, what will happen in the next 10 years in your life, your family and friends' lives, your community, country and the world in general? Can you tell me that?

I guess you would say something, or just say it is not possible to predict... but, let's do a different exercise.

Look at yourself now, in all the dimensions we mentioned before: you, family/friends, community and country. Go back 10 years... Check some newspaper in internet or just see your agenda for that time. Do you remember what you were wearing or the fashion? Can you tell me the place you were working, how much money you were spending and earning?

Now, compare that time to the present situation, and draw some conclusions...

If you do this exercise, you will be able to notice some trends. After that, try to visualize the future 10 years, working with the trends you have found.

The last phase is the most important: it starts with the question what can you do to prepare yourself for the future you are going to live? After responding it, implement it. And live it.

It is a wonderful work for the self as it makes you to keep the future present in your mind and at the same time, improving your present moment.

Our perspective counts

Watching the Colombia versus Brazil game would be difficult for me. As a Brazilian, I would obviously be in their favor, however as a Colombian 20-year-long resident... And sum to that the fact Brazilian team was not that good and the Colombian one was great, and you probably can figure that out.

In life, all depends on our point of view. After Brazil defeated Colombia, I could hear screams from both countries as from their perspective, the other did something very bad.

In fact, this means you can chose ALWAYS whatever you want to be or feel. If you have the right point of view, all will be alright, no matter what happens to you, check this video for that...

How to do it? Because this can be the key to stop complaining and wailing about your own destiny; it is the key to embrace whatever situation you are living and enjoy it from the heart.

Here are some tips that can be helpful:

• Everything that happens to you is always good. If you don't feel like it, change your mind set by meditating, talking to someone positive or reading/watching positive materials.
• Don't deny bad things, take care of them properly. Just chose a different focus than complaining... Do something, help other people with similar problems or go on a tour to some very different place.
• Love the life you have as much as possible. Don't compare with others or other places' lifestyle. Take the maximum benefit, feel blessed and be happy with someone else's smile.
• Self-dialogue works. When things don't work, as you would like or need, talk to yourself and look for the light behind the darkness and the reason behind the circumstances.
• Someone else's smile... Sometimes, as much as you do, things DON'T work. Just make someone smile and enjoy their happiness as if it was yours own, like this video here...

Remember: changing perspective does not change reality, but it changes your perception and how much you are affected by it.

Nobody wants to be the one

In a world of massive connection and interdependence, where communication is extremely easy and interconnectivity is natural, it is interesting to think this as a world where people don't want to take initiative.

Humans evolve according to our own initiative. It seems that starts a new path in our brain and soul, facilitating the changes and helping creating something different.

Yes, there is lots of creativity and innovation and small pockets of leadership here and there, but the real initiative that made our ancestors to leave their places and go to a land they didn't know anything about, that is missing.

What are the consequences? We are stuck with ourselves, with our own mistakes... I am not mention your recent divorce, but I am speaking about the destruction of nature as a whole and the increasing exploitation of people enslaved in this otherwise wonderful 21st century.

That is what we all need now: we need to be the ONE. The one that stands when something bad happens, the one who changes before anyone does and that one, who is able to tolerate and tolerate, and in this way help the world to be a better place.

Would you like to be the one?

Why do singing bowls sing?

A new "toy" came to me recently: a singing bowl. After struggling a bit, with the help of a YouTube video, I was able to do what most people like to do: make it sing. If you never heard one, check the video...

It is amazingly easy and somehow soothing, but it can also be annoying. It made me think about humans. If a piece like that can do a sound which is almost eternal and it can be similar to Om, why not us?

In fact, we are all singing bowls... When a situation emerges, it touches us and we keep on "singing" about the situation, living and reliving it. We spread whatever happened to us all around our person, influencing others and the environment where we live.

Sometimes that effect is positive. For instance, when you have had a wonderful realization, it is good to widespread the sensation. It is important to show others so they can follow your example too.

Other times... If you had a bad experience with someone, you tend to talk about that person to everyone else, trying to make their minds feel the same as you.

It all depends on the master of the singing bowl, in this case, you. You are the one who has to see what you are doing and control the effect you create on others.

Our society is a big network, everything someone does impacts another and another and another... We can't avoid that, but what we can all do is check the quality of the impact, so that the sound of so many living singing bowls can heal the world.

Happiness in times of Facebook

Sometime ago, a video started to circulate around. It is a short film called What's in your mind? and it touches the very delicate subject of happiness in times of Facebook.

Facebook and social network in general, is a new wave. Very little we know about their effect on our society, lifestyle and way to perceive the world. Let's go back a little and compare with other phenomena.

I will take as an example Brazilian soap opera. It is a very established business and part of Brazilian culture. Many times, the country stops working because something great is happening there - so, try to calculate the loss in terms of money and time, in an almost 200 million people country... What about its impact? It has influenced the way of speaking, fashion, values and customs all over the place, and songs that are part of their soundtrack become hits. Nobody realized this when it started to get importance. In fact, when I was a child, it was not considered manly to watch a soap opera... Now the impact is done and Brazilians coordinate even their schedules and routine according to the timing of their favorite soap opera.

Is it something similar happening in social networks? About two years ago, Facebook was the first webpage opened daily at people's workplace, replacing emails... Many people follow what others are doing, stories pass through very quickly and pictures allow you to feel you are part of something. It unites in a sense, seeing a friend's wedding you could not attend or listening to motivational stories.

But it creates a false sense of friendship. A person I know who don't have many real and deep friends, has more than 2,000 friends in his preferred social network... Problem is when bad situations arise; these 2,000 people will only press Like, or will give him a nice Comment. They won't call him or offer him a job.

I have seen the difference between people you know's comments and people you don't really know's comments... Sometimes, the first group is even better in words but it is normally the second group that extends their hand to help you in a time of need.

And what can happen in a society when people start to realize their so-called friends didn't come when they really need it? That is something we are still waiting to see, the psychological impact of finally discerning reality from "virtuality".

At this time of social networks reigning all over the world, it is very important to tell the difference between real sensations and the fake ones. It seems our minds are not clear about and we can cry the same amount if our aunt dies or watching a touching video someone posted in their wall. But, we see the difference... Don't we?

Happiness has three different levels. One is very external and is provoked by anything, manifesting as joy, cheers and screams; it is that happiness you felt when your team scored or your son got that wonderful job. All levels of happiness are good anyway, but this level cannot be sustained for long. After all, one day your team will not score or your son will fail to get what he wants. So, you cannot rely on this level to be happy; if you do so, your happiness will not be constant. In other words, when you get a Like or someone Shares your post, you get happiness; when they "unfriend" you, that happiness is over.

A second level comes from attainments. More than your team scoring; an achievement means something that will be with you forever. When your son graduated, that is something nobody can steal from him, and from you. He IS a lawyer... forever... This is a more permanent level and it can provide you happiness for a long time. Still... well, things happen, and people don't like lawyers that much. Sometimes, even while having the attainment in your hands, you can forget its meaning. And it is the meaning that generates happiness. It is a kind of happiness you want to post, to show everyone how happy you are.

The third level comes from inside you. It is the happiness a little baby shows in their face, smiling or looking serene and peaceful. It is that wonderful energy that makes the baby, and some wise souls, to laugh and clap, even though there is no apparent reason. We all have that happiness inside, and it is always there. We just need to tap into it to feel happy, no matter the circumstances around us. It is a kind of happiness you want to post, to inspire others to feel as happy as you are, because you know they are that happy. Always.

So, while enjoying the wonders of Internet, don't forget, ever, this third level of happiness. Enjoy your Likes and Shares, but look inside you and check constantly that wonderful treasure of happiness you have is being used for you and for others.

Calculating your real age

Normally people after a while ask about my age. I got that part of my family where we really don't get old that fast. Add to that a vegetarian diet for more than 30 years and military service (yes, that helps!), and voilà, you have a person who will look at least 4 years younger.

There are things which are certain in everyone's lives, and one of them is that one day you will get old. And day by day you are already getting older and older.

Science has tried to prevent aging and people embrace anything that makes them to look and feel younger, trying to go against the inevitable.

What if, instead of trying to prevent your body aging, you focus your energy and prevent yourself to age... Let me explain: your mind, your capacity of decision, your good mood and creativity, those things and many more don't need to end just because your body is going that way.

Many years ago, in Santiago, Chile, I was going home. The train was not so packed, but there were no seats available when two very, very old women get on it. Even though their age was obvious, nobody tried to give them a seat, except another pregnant lady (please, don't blame me, I was very far from them...). But they refused, enjoying the ride and getting off a few stations later.

I have seen in my life very young people behaving like what we would expect old people's behavior, and the opposite too. I have seen men with three kids acting as a big teenager and a very young man starting a company with full responsibility.

Your real age will never be measured by how many grey hair you have or the movements of your body. Your real age is inside you - there you can be as young as you want.

From dream to vision...

A vision without an action is just a dream.An action without a vision is a labor.A vision with action can change the world.

I heard that quote many and many years ago. Along the time, other time was mentioned as its author - as far as I know, nobody knows it, but it was engraved in an old church...

It doesn't matter - it touched me in a different way.

I have been a dreamer, I have just declared that to you, but it was after this quote that I started to give importance to the action that turns the dream into a vision, into a reality.

Dreams are good: physical dreams help your body somehow, "cleaning" your brain of useless images or warning you that something is wrong; mystical dreams transform lives around the world by creating new paths for human race to follow, and spiritual dreams help you to develop certain qualities you perhaps did not realize you need to do.

But the most fascinating of all are those dreams we have with our open eyes... Perhaps looking at something or just talking with other people. Those dreams when you challenge your present reality and you wonder if it would be possible for you to live life in a different way. Then, you wake up and go on to another direction eventually forgetting that dream.

However, if you are able to catch your dream and start to change whatever you have to change so that dream becomes a reality, which means you had a vision, a glimpse of a possible future.

There are no real statistics, but it is known that visionaries are able to fulfill their dreams at some point in their lives. And, in the cases they couldn't, still the generated so much change in their own lives that it was worthwhile to even try.

And that is what I did. I still remember that day, living a low middle class area in Sao Paulo, my birthplace, when I saw a plane crossing the blue sky. And I wondered if one day I would be there... Now, I look behind and I can see my visions have been fulfilled. Now, I can say I have a very wonderful life because one day I did not allow that dream to go dormant; I pursued it, and made it real. I am sure you are doing the same too.

And from dreamers we become visionaries, in the creation of a new world and a new life.

Can democracy survive?

As a social species, we need to organize ourselves. Even when anarchy or chaos reigns, still we, as humans, organize ourselves in some way, as it is shown in the many attempts during history to establish a society without a government where everyone was equal. As some people say, these societies naturally reached a point where "everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others".

Therefore, one of the crucial questions we have to ask ourselves at this new century is: what is the best way to organize our societies?

That is a question for world scholars and those people who are engaged in these topics. "Organize" does not only mean defining the type of government, its meaning is broader than that. And it is so important that an idea comes, and very soon.

As we see, the world looks like a ship without a captain, trying to find its route on the waves of life. There is no logic in what is happening, and there shouldn't be as we are during a confluence period.

Before, we had the horrible struggle between democracy - a system that started in the past and provided an enticing way to put people on the rule of themselves - and non-democracy - varying from dictatorship to systems where a party, a small group of people, ruled over the rest.

I am saying before... I am aware this struggle still exists, but I can see it is part of a transition period.

On one hand, democracy got corrupted, sorry, there is no other word. At some places, dictators openly use democracy to justify their rule, as they are able to convince others to vote on them forever, taking one of the big benefits that came with democracy which is the variety of opinions and possibilities. At others, corruption is literal and power is split between those with more money or more influence.

On the other hand, people are awakening, and fast. They are overthrowing their own governments, demanding more participation and fighting for their own liberty. Sometimes, just as it happens when you awake after a deep sleep and you are not sure what you are doing, they make more wrongs than rights, but it is their learning process...

So, what will come then? That was the question, more focused into economics, Peter Drucker used to ask too. In fact, he predicted a time when poor would cross that invisible line and will fight the rich.

Economy is just part of the whole picture, and a small one, as we move from one world system to another.

While others probably are seeing a big hurricane coming, and very fast, where governments will be replaced either by chaos or tyrants, I am on the side of the dreamers. I think we are creating a new world, where all our learning from past mistakes will make earth into a real paradise. I do believe in that...

Methods for managing time

Time Management is a kind of modern science, offering multiple tools and methods to deal with what seems unmanageable for many: time, agenda and productivity. But from a humanistic point of view, there are effective ways to handle this.

While time management focuses mostly on managing your clock and time, 24 hours per day by generating complex agendas, humanistic approach focuses on the consciousness of the time, the attitude we have towards it and proactive habits.

To handle it, the ideal is a perfect balance between understanding the URGENCY that time imposes on you and the IMPORTANCE of the different events. The correlation between the two generates what we call PRIORITIZATION. In other words, you have time to do everything you want by understanding importance and urgency as it is easier to allocate energy and time. Although it sounds logical it is not that easy to do; we tend to spend more time doing things we like, for instance, reading this blog, than doing that important project for your job... Why? Because in our consciousness, importance and urgency are not registered, except if there is a danger around. Consciousness records not only what you know, but that with which it is aligned according to values and goals in life, and most of the time, those thinks we like...

We need to have several dialogues with the self, explaining actions, and establishing its importance and urgency. The attitude is vital for success in time management and this inner dialogue will help with that.

And talking about time management, what about the collective time? Although a balanced approach that gives importance to time, but without generating stress, helps the person in managing their energy and effectively fulfill their commitments, but to manage the collective time, which is basically not being late for meetings and how to deal with the others being late, the individual needs a different approach. It requires a different way of thinking about time by using technology to avoid problems and conflicts, while generating the positive energy that is needed for working together to function effectively.

What I have mentioned up to this point will be better if you develop certain proactive habits in your life as simple as getting up to meditate 45 minutes daily in the morning. These habits are considered proactive because they enable you to organize your energy and time, creating a positive chain reaction during the day. It is a kind of anchor for your time.

By working on your consciousness, the bottom line is that you will the time is not your enemy, but an excellent partner for your success.

Valuing your money

For the common person, the main difference between capitalism and socialism, or communism, should be clear when it reaches their pockets. The dream of a person in a capitalist system should be earning more and more, whilst the dream of a person in a socialist system would be to earn the enough for their own lives and something to spend extra... Beyond ideologies, money is in the minds of people.

Money has emerged around millennia ago, used as a method of exchanging, better communication and even as an improvement to human civilization. Sometime ago, people started noticing money turned into a smaller god...

Religions went against them, people from all backgrounds are chasing after them... It is a hated-loved god, but no less a god that intimidates and defines how we should behave, what is important and even how we should live our life.

Trying to avoid money has not been successful, although there is a trend of a more humanized use. That was clear in Davos and in the WUF7, two events that gathered the world attention and pointed to a different direction than money...

Is it our little god threatened? Not really... Our society lives on money for too long to just quit that. What is happening is a redefinition of money... Better, it is a redefinition of life as itself.

Many years ago, I heard the explanation about money from Dadi Janki, Brahma Kumaris' leader. A teacher of meditation related what Dadi talked in relation to money: it is the fruit of mind and body, combined.

Good money is exactly like that: your thoughts, emotions and feelings combined with your time and physical, or brain energy. Money is sacred in this sense, since it came from a lot of work from your side.

With that awareness, you can use money in a worthwhile way, so that you don't spend it just like that. After listening to the explanation, I've realized spending money is kind of an art.

It is good to use money for your own needs and others' needs, when they rely or depend on you. Use your money for saving for the future, for one or another thing that gives you extra joy, then donate how much you can to a place that tunes to your own sense of being.

And you see money coming to you... Instead of being a lesser god, money turns back to be an instrument for our civilization and our desire to expand and innovate. Money ceases to be a dream and it becomes a means for that dream you have to come true.

Spiritual conversations

From time to time, it is very healthy to come out of your routine and dedicate yourself to something different than what you normally do. Play, watch, dance, and go for a trip...

What happens with our brain? It seems it overloads pretty fast and by "unplugging" it, we can refresh and recharge again.

The problem is that most of our solutions are external. They require we miss days at work or be far from our family, and isolation is not always an option in this busy life...

What about spiritual practices? They have the advantage of not needing to leave anywhere and they also give our brain the time it deserves to recover from a project or a major decision.

The easiest way to work on that is by reflecting. Reflection is easy because everyone does at some point in their lives. It is like putting a mirror just in front and you start to look at it. Of course, it is your image you see, but reflecting means you feel detached from yourself and you can ask yourself questions you normally wouldn't do. You can clarify your life and understand your reality from a detached observer's point of view.

Contemplating requires discipline, silence and time. It requires from you that you stop doing whatever you are doing - even reading this post - and merge into yourself. And just see. Just watch. Just listen. What? Whatever silence brings you, whatever is your aim... You can contemplate on your existence, your marriage, work or God. Here, you are more than just a detached observer; you are just a watcher and you get into the depth of the power of your own silence. In silence, you will find your answers.

Meditation and yoga are advanced steps. That does not mean they are difficult; it just means you really have to stop and make up some time off your busy schedule. Although yoga is normally associated with exercises, that is not true. Yoga means communion and it refers to the ability we have to connect ourselves with someone or something and merge with that, feeling as if we are one. Meditation is creating a link with yourself and managing your thoughts and emotions. And if you don't know, it is part of yoga; for the practice of raja yoga, what is what I do, I meditate first and then focus on that link I create and experience it. Focus on what? Again, there are multiple choices. I personally just remember I am a spiritual being; I focus on a Supreme Source and experience that relationship. It empowers me and gives me an incredible feeling of accomplishment.

Anyway, spirituality has much to offer for those who have their brains at the boiling point... Try it.

When volunteering is more than a pastime

Many years ago, I've met a very interesting Colombian man who was a full time volunteer. Even though he had a family, he managed to get small jobs here and there, so he could keep with his mission. I was part of his mission; I went to a small village in the Choco to talk about values, as a volunteer. His spirit really impressed me. Yes, for the last 30 years I have been a volunteer in Brahma Kumaris, but, I don't have a family that relies on me...

Out of the four main functions all human beings have, to be a volunteer is the most interesting one for me, because I have never thought before I could do something to another person without a direct reward. Yes, we do need a job or something where we earn something - that is another of the four functions. But when we do something without a payback... It is as if you had a beautiful bird jailed in a cage inside you and when you go and help someone, you would open that cage, experiencing the beauty of its presence, giving happiness beyond measure. You do feel like you are earning more than in your own job.

Of course, that will only work if there is a balance with the rest of the functions, but volunteering opens your mind and awareness to the greatness of the self, because you can only give what you have; volunteering helps you to realize your own treasures and how they can support the world where you live.

I've lost touch with that Colombian, but I still remember his smile, even when he described the terrors he witnessed during the war our country goes through. I hope he is well and I hope he keeps on distributing his treasures everywhere. Our world needs them...

Giving meaning to your life

At some point last year, an image came to me. It was a funeral with very few people there, and a woman was talking to a man, saying: "You would expect many more people, since he had thousands of friends in Facebook..."

We have probably reached that point in our civilization predicted and foreseen many and many years ago; that point where and when our own humanity starts to be tested. What makes the difference with other species in the planet is not only our intelligence - which has been the main focus. There is also the way we handle emotions and feelings, awareness and values...

We went a step beyond other species when we started to question and dream, when we started to reflect about our own life and brought a sense, a meaning to it. Then, that same step is trying to send us backwards.

By focusing on our intelligence and not so much in our awareness and values, we start to take that meaning off. With intelligence we were able to create many things that helped our sense in life, but others that can destroy the same life. With intelligence we were able to reach anyone in the planet, and yet people feel their loneliness more than ever.

Yes, intelligence was able to make us getting Facebook, but not mourners for our own funeral...

By focusing on our awareness, things can change. That doesn't mean to refuse whatever our intelligence has given us as the hippie movement tried to do, but to use that to tap into our awareness.

That means to have your Facebook account or whatever social media you chose, but also have a few friends. Read and read in internet, but also go and dialogue with others and share what you have learnt. Face to face.

Feel how meaningful is the life you have within you. Meditate and contemplate. Enjoy the real landscape, that cannot compare with the most beautiful picture posted somewhere in the web. Live with meaning.

And one day, you will leave more than posts in your wall; you will leave behind your footsteps to guide others on their own way...

Acknowledging your specialties

Many years ago, there was the praise of the "all-round" one, that is, the person who could do anything at any time. These people were valued by companies and communities and they created friends wherever they went.

Much later and a few years back, the new trend was of those who were specialized. Experts in their subject, in a very complex society, these people were hunted by companies that would pay them lots of money for whatever they could do.

Well, what is happening today exactly? As a continuation of specialization, companies and communities are valuing individuals' specialties. Let's understand that and the impact on our economy and society in general.

Although the all-rounder could do anything, quality was missing and quantity was favored. Specialists raised the quality keeping quantity. But that is not enough.

There is a moment when people start to have doubts in this wave of consumerism. After all, whatever you purchase, whatever service you get, normally you want that because of some need to be satisfied, or you could say to experience some kind of happiness out of it. But that happiness is hardly eternal... after a while, no matter how wonderful was whatever you have got, you would want more and something different.

People nowadays need more than just objects or moments of experience. They need someone who can get in touch with them. We all need friends who understand us and who help us really with our needs.

So, many years in the future, this new trend will be all over the place. People won't pay much attention to the color of their cell phone or the brand of the car, as they will pay attention to the people who help them. There will be a bond in business that was never ever imagined. This will be possible because people will work from the heart, based on what they really love to do and they are good at it, that thing that makes them so special on others' eyes.

Today... well, today that is being built by you, when you talk to your client, student or the citizen who looks for your help with dignity and respect. It starts with you when you give others more than what they ask for. It starts with you when you give others the love from your heart, your mercy and compassion. Your sincerity and friendship.

It starts when you recognize your own specialty. Believe it or not, there is something only you can do in the way you do, and that is the special power present in whatever you do in life.

Perhaps, the other trend will take some time to start, but the impact in the economy will be great enough to start a new age where humans become the focus of our civilization again.

The power of friendship to overcome situations

It's a Wonderful Life was not so successful at its time, but it starts a tradition becoming one of the most iconic movies for Christmas. And for friendship.

Although at this movie friends help George Bailey with money, the friends' effect goes beyond it. It is like a psychological or mental support that enables you to move forward, even though all around you seems to be against that.

As far as I know there are no statistical data about the help of a friend, but I am sure you have experienced that at some point. And what is it exactly?

Adverse situations, obstacles, barriers and problems have the intrinsic ability to "freeze" your self-esteem and your capacity for finding solutions. Let's see this example: I remember a few years ago when I went to the Elephants Orphanage and watched those wonderful beings to take their bath at the river. At some point, a few of them went to the other shore and after a while, one of the caretakers went to fetch them. I was curious to know how, as they are enormous and the caretakers are quite small in comparison. But, of course, they had a tool: a stick with something at its tip that was able to hold the elephant by its ears...

Reality is elephants are much stronger than their caretakers. However, since they are small the men use the same tool so the elephants got used to that and don't challenge their right over them.

In the same way, situations have come when we were not able to deal with them and that left an impression. Years later when we finally can deal with those problems, when they come we cannot manage them as we believe internally they are stronger than us.

Imagine that I could speak elephants' language and become friend to them. Imagine that at some point I start to tell them they are much stronger than their caretakers so they don't need to fear their stick... That is what a friend does for us.

Friends come as an external factor that helps us to realize things. Without friends it is much harder to understand that we are much stronger than those situations.

The more we realize how strong we are, it will be more difficult for problems to overcome your own power. With friends around you, you will always feel protected and much more powerful.

In today's world of Social Networks friends, it is important to have real people around you, physically or subtly.

When they are close to you, enjoy their company and presence, their advices and let them guide you a bit.

When they are far away, enjoy the powerful thoughts and wishes they send you, let those touch your heart deeply.

Seeing beyond the crisis

One of the faculties of a leader is their capability to see beyond any negative situation.

In the case of a small situation, such as an employee's resignation or the loss of a big client, a leader is capable of finding a solution very quick. With their training, whatever she or he has learnt and their experience, leaders are able to solve problems and move on.

But when the situation is big, that is, when it turns into a crisis, responses are not so fast. In fact, the key for solving any crisis is patience and perseverance; patience, as crisis has its own development and we do have to wait until the right moment comes, and perseverance for the leader's insistence and courage to change circumstances. To solve a crisis you need time...

A crisis blinds people, making them incapable to see beyond the present moment. The leader is probably the only one who can still see the future of the organization.

However, it is not that difficult... Even though in terms of position you are not a leader, it is good and healthy to keep that vision in the background whilst you do whatever you have to do to deal with the present crisis.

• First thing is to remind the self of the meaning of working. When you remember its significance, it is easier to remember the future implications of any action and, although remaining in the present, visualizing the possible future.
• Change hope into reality. Once someone told me hope is only for weak people. That is not true; hope is good, it is healthy and it can keep you fighting for your life, if that is the case. The issue is some people use hope as an excuse for not acting. Do you have any hope amidst the crisis? Do something! Anything, even a small one will impact your life.
• Motivate yourself. When there is a crisis, it seems as dementors are everywhere, taking dreams out of your own breath. And, really, nobody will motivate you... It is the moment to look for motivation. Read. Listen to music. Watch something. Do things that make you believe you can overcome this, and you will do it.
• Support each other. Crisis sends people into conflict. I have seen as families can be broken because money is not there. Learn how to support each other, love each other even more and if you have to leave other people for some reason, keep in touch.
• DO SOMETHING... for others! Crisis can generate a kind of laziness in the soul. Yes, with crisis you lose your job or you are under pressure, too busy to do anything else, but it is one of the valuable things you can do is to help others. Being a volunteer keeps your mind clean and you can see a much brighter future as an effect of your work.

That inner voice

Ethics is taught at schools, churches and temples all over the world. However, within us there is something there that helps us to watch our own behavior and follow those ethics.

It is kind of an inner voice that tells you "Don't do it!" Probably it was that inner voice that warned corrupt politicians to not accept a bribe or a mother to not lie to her children.

But because it is a very soft voice, we normally don't pay much attention to it and when we do listen to it, we don't care. And when we do care, we still have problems to follow what that voice is saying. Years later, when you revise your life, that voice often comes back to you but when there is no time and no energy to put its instructions into practice.

Because even though many people affirm humans are the only animals born without a sense of direction, which is completely false. We do have a sense of direction, a natural sense of what is right and what is wrong and in the crossroads we meet in our lives, that inner voice comes and tells you the truth...

More than a morality that judges other people, that inner voice's duty is to show you the right path. So, my suggestion is that when that voice talks to you, note down what it says. Even though you can't use it right now, it can be useful later. Sometimes, it comes through others' arts; embrace it, because that is part of the compass you will use in your journey, your long journey.

Nehru, the first prime-minister of India and Gandhi's companion in their struggle for liberty used the last stanza of a poem that reminded him even though sometimes he was tired, there were still a few miles more to go...

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep. 

Robert Frost

What your past can teach you...

Some animals can migrate for generations from and to the same places, keeping an astonishing record. This is the case of some whales, geese and even elephants... Their past teaches them how to live better, as there are some conditions in those places they would take too long looking for in other places.

How much does our past teach us?

As a whole species, reading the headlines and seeing what is happening today, I would dare to say we didn't learn much. We still see nations invading nations, people killing people and humanity destroying nature, and it has been like that for centuries.

But, at least in the last 50 years, our learning has been better. With information technology, stories travel faster and people also react faster. For instance, issues against gender... From one country to the other, it seems people protest for the same reasons. Sometimes, I am not sure to which country this news belongs as they all look the same.

That is what makes past valuable: when we are able to learn. First stage is to have the information and to start to create a new paradigm around that idea. Second stage is when we start to avoid those situations. But the last stage is the main one. It is when we replace habits and customs that we have learnt as wrong with something more elevated and dignified.

I will give you an example. Several women have been affected by acid thrown into their faces. The first stage works quite well and the information starts to travel around very fast. There is however some doubts in relation to its effectiveness as by spreading the news, other people learn about that and they can use it too against their own former wives or girl-friends...

The second stage is needed: laws that enforce the negativity of that behavior. However, that is when things start to get tricky... After a few weeks of acid-throwing acid, news came that a woman threw acid against another woman. What to do in this case, as it is not a gender issue? Later, a young man was also affected. When we restricted our vision to the negative side of the situations, we give power to that and people learn on how to avoid the new laws or the new hate it generates (up to this moment, I did not see comments against the neighbor who threw acid against her neighbor or the affected young man).

The third and last stage so that our past is really valuable is when we start to create a new model of society, where people are entitled to decide on their own destiny, where people who would be attacked feel secure because society approved their decision and those who would be the attackers have a support group or someplace where they can find treatment. In this way, that violence won't happen again?

A dreamer? Let's remember the case of slaves and how we took so long to get into the third stage of equality and normality. Let's also remember the economic effects on the mistakes we make...

But, don't wait for the collective starting to change. Start from your own life. Learn from your past. Avoid the mistakes you have made. Start to create a new life for you; in such a way not only your past won't repeat, but new opportunities emerge.

I am sure you will feel very happy by doing that!

Gentleness makes bitter things sweeter

When we enter into an organization, we have some functions that we have to comply, but the trickiest part is the link with other people. After all, we didn't choose them to be our partners, to be with us sometimes more than our own families, and still we have to relate to them and get the job done.

A few years ago, a friend told me a story. She was working in an office and one of her co-workers used to collect money for celebrating each other's birthdays. After a while she started to get upset with him as he was very persistent with the task. At some point, he approached her and even before talking to her, she reacted saying she was too busy. He said he was just coming to her because the day before it was his birthday and he had a piece of cake for her...

There are many ways to deal with other people in an organizational environment, but no matter the technique you chose, be aware of a simple recipe that will make you way towards others easier:

• When you see someone for the first time, greet the person before asking something or ordering something... Greetings open others' hearts and enable them to comply with your requirements easily.
• Keep a memory of other people's circumstances: their families, last time they were sick or some course they are taken. Ask them about it, enjoy their success, and be empathic with their failures.
• If someone has made something bad for you, you feel hurt and yet you have to work with them, look for a mediator who helps you to deal with that. Don't keep grudges, they are bad for you.
• If you have to talk to someone in an environment of anger or restlessness, by being gentle you can decrease the resistance of the other person and facilitate the talk.
• "Please"'s and "thank you"'s can help to make the work environment even lighter. Try and use them as many times as you want.
• Smile, and don't get tired of smiling at others. Appreciate what they have done, forgive and respect their mistakes. Celebrate their conquests as if they are your own.

And the wonderful thing is when that small recipe becomes part of you, part of your personality, your own ethics. It is then when you will be able to change your environment and transform your life.

Honestly...

Many years ago I was quite involved in the topic of values. I used to work on values in both ways, as a volunteer and professionally. At that time, I've met a very interesting person who worked with UNICEF. She told me something I've never forgotten: "the main challenge in relation to values is that people nowadays only learn anti-values."

And that is true. As I browse today's news, corruption and lies make the headlines. Nobody talks about people who stick to their own honesty; after all, honesty does not sell newspaper...

But honesty does create families, it strengthens friendship and it even impacts in our economy through its close cousin, trust. In fact, honesty is natural; a baby cries when is in need of some attention, there is no way the baby will fake that... The opposite, dishonesty, is learnt along the years, watching and observing others.

In an organization environment, honesty is crucial. Dishonesty can get you a customer once, but it will make you lose it forevermore. Dishonesty can avoid a reprimand by your boss, but when you share that with your co-workers, even though they congratulate you for your cleverness, you will love them as true friends; after all, if you lied to your boss, you can lie to any of them.

Even though honesty is not something that shows often in someone's curriculum, it is becoming a very valuable asset for the company. Peter Senge, in this masterpiece, The Fifth Discipline, talks about the practical effect of honesty in a company that sold computers. By sticking to that value, they saw their sales dropping - after all, other companies, using dishonesty as a tool, lied to their customers and were able to get their orders. Later, however the company started climbing and never stopped.

I am not saying you are not honest, but reality is today's people seldom are... From "white lies" to blunt corruption, honesty is living among us and inside us. It has become part of our way of life in such a way that an honest person is not fully honest... it is just that he or she is more honest than others.

OK, how can you develop honesty as a skill? First, let's understand a few of its benefits in the work environment:

• Solid relationship between co-workers, and the different levels of organization.
• Trust builds from honesty, so that the company has more loyalty from their customers.
• It is easier to deal with crisis, as everyone knows what everyone is doing and their capabilities.
• Tough decisions are less complicated as honesty provides the right environment for that to happen.

If you feel you can develop honesty in a higher level, these are some steps that can help you:

• Accept all your flaws and imperfections. As someone said, "perfection exists only in a cv". Don't try to be that right now, enjoy your present stage and don't deny any of that to yourself.
• Get someone you can really trust and always be honest with that person. No matter what, don't hide and don't pretend; that person is the best friend you have, cultivate her or his friendship.
• Any time you tell a lie, or in any other way you break your own honesty, at least be clear about that to yourself. If you don't feel the courage or don't have the time to mend whatever you did, sit down, reflect and meditate. Whenever you feel like, talk to someone about what you did, ask for advice, try and follow it.
• If you make a "heroic" honesty act, give a prize to yourself! Go and spoil yourself with some nice ice-cream, chocolate or a day at the beach.
• Generate spaces of dialogue in your company or family. In this way, little by little you will feel open about telling others what is really happening with you.
• If there is any punishment after you have been honest, talk to the person who did that later. Explain your reasons and listen to their own reasons.
• Love yourself. When you love someone, you can't even think of lying to them...

By practicing this skill, slowly it will become part of your own personality, your own personal ethics. Then, it will be as natural as breathing.

Humor, the essence of your own life

No jokes on chickens or bars; humor is taking the world.

Beforehand, only a few people could make use of it. Nowadays, anyone tries to use humor as a weapon against being bored or to avoid conflicts. I am not talking here about irony or sarcasm, humor's "evil twins". I am talking of a pure and sensitive humor sense that enables someone to change the view in relation to any situation, no matter how dark it is, and, of course, turn the environment a little more cheerful...

And that is fundamental when you work, in your family environment or at the time to talk to your neighbor about his unhealthy habit of playing loud songs at 11.30 pm... Because humor presents the situations in a new different light and resistance is decreased by that quality, allowing changes to happen. Real sensitive humor; other types of humor probably will help you to get a smack on your head or you will have to watch over your shoulder for the rest of your life expecting revenge...

Personally, I was never a funny guy, but I noticed something... It was in Chile, in '92, when I was leaving the last company I worked there, coming back to my birthplace, São Paulo. I used to work for Borland, at that time one of the giants in software for microcomputers; I started to make jokes to lighten the atmosphere of my farewell party when a co-worker mentioned that I used humor to deflect sadness... And I must say she was totally right, after all what do you think it is better, to laugh or to cry?

With humor I can accept a bitter order by my boss or avoid retorting to some comment my dad made. I can fall and laugh at that and I can make jokes on my own failure... Real humor gives comfort and strength, but it only works when it comes from you, from your own dharma as a person.

But, how to develop that? First of all, if you don't have sense of humor, believe me when I tell you can develop it... Second, try to detach from your own self. German, a great Chilean comedian, says that his trick is to make jokes on himself, not on others' expenses; this makes his videos very funny as they came from his own experience. So, if you can detach yourself, you can use your wonderful life as a source of humor, and I tell you, what a source!!!

A last tip: smile a lot. Laughter can last for some time; while smiles can last forever, generate a light environment and make people opener to your comments... they can even laugh at that!



P.S. Well, it is kind of lacking some humor in here...
Do you know why I don't like performing, not even dancing in front of others? Well, when I was a child I decided to perform in front of my whole class (and the whole school, in fact). I was the frog who turned into the prince, you know the story... I still remember the moment I raised and declared myself as the prince, something happened there and people laughed at me forever, destroying a very promising future actor!!

The ability to keep an open mind, as part of your personal ethics

Many years ago, I saw a book at a friend's desk. Unwisely, I've made my comment (negative) about its author, to which my friend replied: "The thing I don't like you is that you don't have an open mind!"

On one hand, that helped me checking my own attitude and it made me realize I lacked that particular talent. But it is quite a difficult skill, I must tell you! At that time, I just responded to my friend: "Well, if you have an open mind, of course you don't mind my comment..."

What is to have an open mind? Does that mean to deprive yourself of opinions and concepts, and rather say YES to whoever comes to you?

I confess this is a skill I am still working out. I used to have very strict opinions, believing things were either black or white. I was communist for some time, trying to counterbalance my lack of political education. After reading George Orwell's Animal Farm and some personal research, I got quite disillusioned with that ideology, and to be sincere, with any ideology. Around that time, I got into an Air Force school at my country, a typical right-wing environment and that helped me to go into a more balanced view in relation to politics.

So, part of my own learning on this skill has been to behave like a pendulum... going from one side to the other. However, it is quite long in terms of learning and not always pleasant.

At present, how I see that skill in myself? Bearing in mind I am still working on that, let me share some points that can help:

• It is important to see the benefit of having an open mind, which is to be able to relate to very different people, with very different opinions and ideas.
• I always keep in my mind an old saying, based on Niels Bohr own ideas: the opposite of a small truth is falsehood; the opposite of a great truth is another great truth.
• Even though I don't agree with a person, I must agree with the fact he or she thinks like that, and respect it.
• If another person's ideas interfere in my life, then I remind myself of my own value; if my ideas are the right ones, so I stick to that as much as possible.
• I don't get into conflict, but I don't accept ideas just like that; for someone else that can be fine, not for me...
• If someone has a total opposite opinion and we have to share actions together, it is good to talk to the person before anything, and keep in mind the differences.
• If someone has a total opposite opinion and dialogue does not work, don't work with that person, but keep the friendship as much as possible.
• Differences can turn into an advantage, if you know how to channel them.
• No matter what happens, you cannot stop loving someone.

If you have any other tips and tricks, share with us all!

How do you make decisions? Good judgment, personal ethics

There is a complex internal process that helps you to make decisions, bigger or smaller. It comes from your experience, the sensations of the moment and your approach in relation to the future, among other criteria that helps you to make decisions.

In a workplace, you are not only paid to make decisions, but you have to exceed others' expectations in relation to that, which means your decision-making skill should be refined and accurate.

How to do that? As humans, we learn with life by observing, accumulating knowledge and practicing. You can notice in your life that some decisions that used to take a long time to be made - what should I eat today? - are now a question of seconds, whilst others that used to take a short time - with whom should I walk along? - can take days now...

To develop that skill, you need a few things:

• Clear up your personal ethics. Ethics will be your main criteria, your compass at the time of making decisions.
• Use your experience as if it were gold. Everything that happened to you has helped you to be what you are today. That will help you to define who you will be in the future, as a fruit of your decisions.
• Don't be blinded by your experience. However, experience can be like an old rusted anchor preventing the ship to sail. A subtle balance is needed with an open mind and a will to experiment new possibilities.
• Others can think differently. Whenever you have to make a decision, don't forget others may oppose you. It is their right; we cannot impose decisions in our society. You will need to have some negotiation skills and a strong argument to defend your decision, but it all starts from your feeling they have the right to think differently, and that is OK.
• Mistakes are great. For someone who is learning, mistakes are great teachers. Learn from them, don't fear them. If your decision goes wrong, apologize, learn and keep making decisions.

By doing the former steps, you will feel you can make decisions faster and better.

Whilst dealing with situations, be yourself

There is nothing more powerful than what I call "personal ethics". Authenticity is the best way to handle crisis and problems that come on our way.

You know, I do believe that anything that comes, it comes because I am able to deal with it. Life is wonderful teacher and it won't waste its time by sending you tests you can't solve.

Big issue here is that we normally go outside looking for solutions and we forget going inside. But we can fix them by learning and practicing some simple skills:

• Good judgment. Learn how to make better decisions that will impact and change situations.
• The ability to keep an open mind. Always be open to learn something new, or another person's perspective.
• A great sense of humor. It is a medicine and it works!
• Honesty. It will always make the message to touch others' hearts.
• Good manners. It will help others to be open to whatever you say.

So, we will be going through each of these skills, but by now, just be yourself. Accept and appreciate whatever you are, and see its impact in whatever you are living.

Negotiation skills when dealing with situations

Situations come up from time to time in our lives. As someone said once, the world is like the ocean and you can't control the waves...

Some situations are easier than others; some last longer than others, and some can even take you into desperation. But, at least in some cultures, there is nothing worse than crisis somewhat provoked by other people.

Yes, it is awful to lose your job or be in danger of losing that house you would love to live in, but what about when your wife is critically ill or your boss is preventing you to make the deal of your life?

There is a whole school in management for negotiation, which can help you to deal with those situations where humans are a main factor. With those skills well developed you can negotiate some time off your job to take care of your wife properly, or perhaps invite some relatives to help caring of her.

But, I would like to focus in the skill of persuasion, which would be very useful for you in convincing your boss to help you with that big deal.

Persuasion can be understood differently according to intentions and even culture. Its interpretation can vary from charisma to manipulation, but its real meaning is probably located midway.

It is basically the ability of convincing people to do something they wouldn't otherwise do. It is so important that Warren Bennis used that same concept while defining a leader. For the skill to be developed, you need some training in:

• Understanding situations deeply. Don't stay in the surface; merge into the depth of anything happening, understanding its roots, development and consequences.
• Trying different perspectives. If you want someone to be convinced of something, you need to understand their point of view, with respect and without judgment.
• Patience and perseverance. No negotiation can really happen without this wonderful couple of human qualities. Whilst patience will enable you to wait for the effect of your talk, perseverance will facilitate you to try different tactics.
• Having a "win-win" mentality. Although I personally don't like that expression, as it reminds me of the possibility of win more than another person, it is extremely useful in negotiation, especially at the time of persuading others. The idea is to have a focus in the profit you and the other people will receive by doing what they are doing.
• Being flexible. Yes, at any negotiation you will have to compromise. There is no way out for that. The idea behind flexibility, talked in another post, is to understand the limits you can go without hurting the negotiation for either side.

Charisma can be understood as some kind of "exuberant persuasion". Although many so-called leaders use, especially politicians, it does not fulfill the former criteria completely. Same happens with manipulation and amazingly as it is, both usually lack the understanding of others' perspectives...

Some people are natural negotiators; others need to train and train harder. Whatever the case, it is a powerful skill and not that difficult to mature.

Flexibility, as a skill

An interesting fable turned into a cartoon, which I watched when I was a little boy. It remained in my memory all these years because of its deep meaning.

In a certain rural area, an oak used to live along with some reed. Whenever a wind was blowing around them, the reeds bowed to it, whilst the oak kept straight and tall. The oak used to mock the reeds and boast about his strength.
Time went by and one day, a storm came. This time, strength was not enough and the oak was uprooted. After the storm ends, reeds were still there, alive and shining under the sun, but the poor oak would never be able to resist to any wind again...

To think of flexibility as a skill, you need to focus on two aspects of this fable:

• Strength is not always the main thing. In fact, we all have a particular strength, but sometimes that is not enough - it can be intelligence, a way of dealing with people and even professional skills. Sometimes, it is necessary to understand in order to empower the team; you need to accept others doing those things for which you are normally the expert. This will help others to increase their own self-esteem and will guarantee that when the storm of crisis comes, they will be there to protect the company, family and even you.
• The trick is the roots. One aspect very few notice is that reeds have long and deep roots, so it is not easy to uproot them. When I used to swim at small rivers in Brazil, I used to see their roots coming out in the water. What are our roots? That is, what is that we won't compromise, no matter what? For this skill, you need to have total clarity in relation to your own values and principles. In this way, when crisis comes, you will be able to resist to them.

Experiment with the present situation you are dealing now. Try to be flexible, try to put others in front and don't compromise your values. Check the results and smile as the reeds after the storm.

Proactive problem solving

When we deal with situations, the normal approach is reactive: we wait until things happen, and then we act.

What if we act BEFORE things happen? After all, we have so much knowledge, experience and intuition to understand if what is coming is a storm, hail or just a drizzle, and with that knowledge we can dress properly.

This skill requires a deep sense of observation and a lack of labeling. It requires a wide openness from your side, as things sometimes don't show their real appearance and you need to be open for anything that happens.

You have to be careful to not become paranoid... Proactivity is not based on fear, but on trends and observation. Let's see some examples of this skill practically:

• You can sense your son is going to have a hard time in his exams. Fear can generate an attempt of control from your side and you can even try to bully your kid into more and more study. Proactivity helps you to deal with that situation before it happens, so you can help your son emotionally making him understand he is loved no matter what, and you can show him you are available whenever he wants, if he needs some help with his studies.
• One of your salespersons is going for a big client and you can see he won't be able to make the deal. An afraid boss will decrease his employee's self-esteem by giving bad suggestions ("Why don't we send Jane instead?") or offering himself to go with him, but not with the right attitude ("Let's go together, so when things go south, I can fix them."). Proactivity will help you to invest more time in training, to dialogue with your people and to show respect for them in all situations; in this way, the salesman can look easier for help and prevent a failure.
• You can feel your health is not that good... Fear can make you either go for a doctor for any pain you feel, or hide from all doctors as you don't want to hear their diagnose. Proactivity will make you go to a doctor in a regular basis, keep a diet and a routine of exercises that help you to feel healthy, so when you really feel something worse is happening to your body, it is easier to detect, accept and go through a treatment.

Start right now: don't judge, just watch. Be open for changes in life and be prepared, but not afraid of them.

Leadership skills, for dealing with situations

We, humans, have an incredible ability to create "mess" in our lives... Somehow, problems seem to pop up at any moment, destroying the little comfort we create around us. Whether it is a situation that emerged in your familiar life, with some friend, in your work or something is happening in the country, and it is affecting you; your own leadership and the relevant skills can be your only way out of that.

But it is not only "dealing with the situation". The "John Wayne" style, of shooting then asking questions, is not working any more. It is not only the situations which are complex: we are too. People nowadays want to be happy, light in their lives; you will seldom find someone who wants to sacrifice himself or herself.

Therefore, what are the main skills a leader must have to deal with the situations and remain happy?

• Focus on results, work on processes and empower people. This is a key skill - to concentrate in getting results, but to improve the processes and empower your people. Normally, when there is a crisis at a company, they first fire people, then run to get results and don't bother about processes...
• Constantly updating. OK, not like a cell phone, but this leadership-related skill is vital for organizational survival. That means a constant will and ability to study and research, and come with innovative solutions.
• Future perspective. Especially when situations are too "gruesome", this is useful as it projects you towards the future and detach you from the present. This helps the person to keep focus and raise above all obstacles.
• Supporting and motivating. And situations will come. And come, and come... Support and motivation are two sides of the same skill that only works when it comes from the depth of heart, when the person really wills it. It is not only for others; a real leader will keep motivating the self and supporting the self as much as he or she can.

Out of these, I personally think the last one is the most important. When you are able to support and motivate both, yourself and others, it is easier to handle any circumstances and find a positive solution.

That means you need a different attitude in relation to people. For instance, if someone is giving you trouble, look at the person and think: what can I do to help this person? In this way, you will develop a strong bond between you and others. Thinking of future, when crisis arise, these people you supported one day will be there to give you their support.

For this skill, you have to:

• Train yourself to think positively about others and always give them another chance.
• Imbibe gentleness and kindness; learn how to approach people especially when you need to give them bad news.
• Learn how to reward others in a fair way.
• Learn how to be beside others when they fail, showing your teeth by smiling, instead of snarling.
• Understand very deeply the meaning of being a leader.
• Love, love and love, from your heart, everyone who is around you.

Do that and have a better experience at the time of dealing with situations.

Dealing with situations

As a chief, boss, manager, CEO, father, mother or friend, you are expected to solve situations. That is why you were "hired" or you accepted that position.

For that, you count with some training, even though it was informal. That training probably gave you important tools you use in the day-to-day life: a mother was probably trained by her own mother on how to deal with a teenager who does not want to follow the rules; a CEO will have training on how to save his company, and a boss will sit down with one of her employees to discuss a new project, based on the knowledge she got at university.

But you have probably noticed as situations are getting more and more complex and complicated. Solving a situation is like disentangling a thread... the more you do, it looks even worse.

I am going to explore four basic skills that can help you in dealing different situations that come to you:

• Leadership skills. They will give you the energy and capacity to deal with strong and difficult situations, especially those we normally consider crisis. One focus I will talk about is in relation to give your team what it needs to overcome that crisis.
• Proactive problem solving. Creativity and initiative will help you to deal with situations that are preventing success coming to your organization or team.
• Flexibility. Situations can change at any time, so flexibility, as a skill, can give you an advantage when the change comes.
• Negotiation skills. Many situations come from the human front. Negotiating with others, persuading them from a genuine and win-win point of view can solve problems very easily.

You cannot prevent situations to come, but you can learn how to deal with them, and be successful by doing it.