A Hero’s Journey to Becoming a Diamond

 

You are the hero of your own life – always! Yet, at certain moments, we go beyond our personal needs and act selflessly for others. Then from hero we become a hira.

This is the story of a wealthy jeweler who chose exactly that path. Instead of living a comfortable retirement or a religious one, as was common in old India, Brahma Baba took up the mantle of being his own hero.

All of us play the role of hero in our lives, but not everyone realizes it. A hero navigates life boldly, discovering new inner lands, helping others with courage and shaping reality instead of waiting for it to change.

Brahma Baba was one of the few who recognized this. He founded an organization that today serves millions around the world. Rather than waiting for transformation in a harsh world, he planted a seed - and watched a garden grow.

He faced obstacles, even from those he wished to help. It was then the coal - the ordinary human striving to do good - underwent the final fire of transformation and became a hira, a shining diamond.

We too carry that potential within us. We can be our own heroes and, at times, heroes for others. But very few shine like Brahma - a hero for others, an angel for millions.

 

Today, I invite you to be your own hero.
Today, I invite you to begin becoming a hira.

Self-transformation: is that easy?

 

At so many places, people are talking about self-transformation as if it is the easiest thing anybody can do. Maybe not so much a complete self-transformation, more a constant advertisement of the possibility of change: Easy, very easy change.

I am in a self-transformation path and I should tell you it is that easy… and yet, so difficult!

The easiness comes from the fact real transformation is often going back to a natural state of life, and what is easier than being natural? A big part of a transformation process is to get rid of the unnatural parts of a personality and lifestyle.

The difficulty comes from getting rid of something so unnatural that has turned into natural due to its use.

For instance, a common aspect of self-transformation is a big change in the routine: getting up earlier, including exercises in the routine, starting to meditate, etc. In fact, all of these are natural, I assure you, but after a while of getting up late, not doing exercises and not meditating, all of these must be relearned.

Easy and difficult… that’s the challenge!

So, if you want to make a big change in your life…

Understand what you are going to change and how.

Develop the awareness of how natural is that state – a retreat, for instance, can help that realization.

Walk your path with that awareness and whenever things don’t go as planned or desired, just remember you are going back to a natural state.

Don’t struggle with your own inner resistance; instead, develop resilience by meditating, studying or other methods.

Good luck with your self-transformation!

Is it possible to change?

Many years ago, I heard from a Buddhist monk the interesting and disturbing idea that people cannot change…

As I walk on a self-progress path that promotes change, I started thinking how true this was, and there are a few conclusions I drew from this.

• Of course, changes that come from outside affects people and change them, but not necessarily in the way they need or want. As soon as they can, they will be back to their old ways.
• I do feel people can change by themselves at any time in their lives, if they fulfill two conditions: 1) they are aware of what they have to change and 2) they use a good method for that.
• Still, I understand change is not easy so the person also needs a network of people and a good environment that support the transition to the final stage of change, normally self-transformation.
• Without awareness, no good method, difficulties to get people that help them and the wrong environment, it is not possible for a person to change. Sorry!
• Can other people change anyone? It is possible, but the effect won’t last if the former mentioned elements are not present in the person to change, and the one that causes the change has to be consistent and a leader of the self.

Are you in a self-transformation path? How is it going?

What??? DECEMBER!

Yes, we are at December… It has come! Or almost.

And it is that magical time in which years converge, but for human mind it is not only years, it is much more…

There is a convergence of possibilities and opportunities.

Experiences and chances of success.

That transformation you have been dreaming so much and it seems so far away – now it is the moment to get that!

For the next two months, many people, particularly those with an interest on personal change, deep personal change, will be trying to change their routes in life. You, me and many people.

And do you know what? Let’s take advantage of this month and the next, go for that deep change and that will be the best gift we could receive in life.

 

Self-transformation: is that easy?

At so many places, people are talking about self-transformation as if it is the easiest thing anybody can do. Maybe not so much a complete self-transformation, more a constant advertisement of the possibility of change: Easy, very easy change.

I am in a self-transformation path and I should tell you it is that easy… and yet, so difficult!

The easiness comes from the fact real transformation is often going back to a natural state of life, and what is easier than being natural? A big part of a transformation process is to get rid of the unnatural parts of a personality and lifestyle.

The difficulty comes from getting rid of something so unnatural that has turned into natural due to its use.

For instance, a common aspect of self-transformation is a big change in the routine: getting up earlier, including exercises in the routine, starting to meditate, etc. In fact, all of these are natural, I assure you, but after a while of getting up late, not doing exercises and not meditating, all of these must be relearned.

Easy and difficult… that’s the challenge!

So, if you want to make a big change in your life…

1. Understand what you are going to change and how.
2. Develop the awareness of how natural is that state – a retreat, for instance, can help that realization.
3. Walk your path with that awareness and whenever things don’t go as planned or desired, just remember you are going back to a natural state.
4. Don’t struggle with your own inner resistance; instead, develop resilience by meditating, studying or other methods.

Good luck with your self-transformation!

The ugly duckling

At my worst moments during childhood, this story warmed my heart: the ugly duckling that was in fact a beautiful swan.

I have seen that in my life and many others’: from being bad or not so intelligent, people have turned wonderful people. My question is: How?

A few years in Colombia, I’ve met my publisher who convinced me to write a book. I decided to write on self-leadership and it turned to be a way for me to understand my own process from being an ugly duckling to a swan.

The story is really about overcoming limitations and becoming what your dreams are showing. It was for me an inspiration and I am sure it can be for you too.

I suggest you to consider yourself an ugly duckling and think about those limitations or weaknesses that are preventing you to become that wonderful swan. Don’t think too much of them…

Now, see yourself as that wonderful swan: you have overcome all those things and you are now whole… Think of that the time you want.

Managing this new reality

How do we manage reality? Besides the physiological side ( the way the brain deals with things), a friend of mine once expressed his point of view and it was very interesting: think as if you have a copy of the external things in your mind and when you relate to them, you are doing it with that copy, not with the reality.

Therefore the problems we experience in terms of dealing with situations come from the difference between the real and the copy. An example:

A friend of mine wanted a bike to go to work; eventually he got it, but the real one didn’t work as he was living about 15 Km far plus the traffic… the end of that dream was an accident he suffered.

The bike to go to work was a copy and the 15 Km far plus the traffic was the reality that crushed his dreams.

Now, what happens when there is a new reality? Particularly when the reality is totally new, we come with a similar copy in our minds, an approximate reference, and we relate to it. It comes from (ours and others’) opinions, ideas and past experiences, beliefs and values, personality, will and a personal call. But it is very different from the reality itself, probably much more different than the example before…

Let’s imagine there is a big sale of bicycles in a huge store. Immediately, a person sees themselves already mounting a very modern shine bike. They go to the shop and there is a huge queue in front and when eventually they reach the place where to get the bicycle, the only thing remaining is not modern, not at all shining…

Another way is to not let yourself be convinced by the copy you carry in your mind. Instead you challenge your perception and you are able to align the copy with the real thing.

Instead of let yourself being fooled by the sale of bicycles, you research more and you are able to find the perfect bike – as perfect as possible – at some shop. You are aware it is not exactly what you wanted, but the price is good and for now, that will be it.

It is not as easy as it sounds, since it means you have to challenge opinions, ideas, past experiences, beliefs, values, personality, your will and call… But you can do it.

Particularly with the new reality we are all living, the best thing is to stop for a moment and align the inner copy with the reality. A few powerful questions may help you:

• Why am I feeling like this? What is the real cause?
• If I don’t like something, what is it possible to get that comes closer to what I like? What should I do to make it happen?
• When it is impossible to live with the reality, what can I do to cope with it? If I can’t cope, what is the alternative I can live, so that I don’t suffer?

 

A New Year, a new “me”

2020 will attract a lot of attention; just wait to see how many people will talk about the year of perfect vision!

I have already spent many and many years and I don't know how many new years seemed to be the definitive ones, when I would finally achieve that dream, that change or that transformation. So I should lose hope on 2020, right?

No, not really. I think that every year has brought me closer to my dream - and in some of these years, I saw a few dreams come true. I know that I changed a lot as a person and even, in some areas of my life I have transformed.

The magic of the New Year does exist. It renews not only vague hopes or elusive dreams, but it gives me the possibility to reset my life, even if it is partial. And in this 2020, I want to use this beautiful number of interesting, though simple, symmetry, to stimulate me to reflect.

For me, and I hope for you too, this year I will have a great opportunity to renew myself and really be different. I will have 20 opportunities to be a new me.

In the physical, it will be an opportunity to opt for a healthier diet and, when I do physical exercises, change the way I perceive myself. I can change the way I dress or look for a house somewhere else and go to live there. I will travel a lot: I will travel every weekend or I will intend to travel to places that I had never thought of going before. Perhaps, it is time to study and work in another career.

What opportunities await you in the physical plan in this New Year?

There is another level that opens up many probabilities, related to your mind and emotions. Because this year I have the enormous possibility of cultivating another way of thinking and sustaining a positive attitude, despite the situations. Instead of worrying, I will deal with creative thoughts and fill my being with constructive emotions. It is time to use the power of my mind to its fullest extent, so I can turn my ideas that are so valuable into something physical.

What is your window of improvement in your mental and emotional capacity in this New Year?

It is in the spiritual that I have more hope of success, because it will be a year to meditate more, much more. I will work in my inner world, making it more stable and I will establish myself as a leader of the self. It will be the year not to react to situations, but to reflect and then do something. Everything is summed up to BE before HAVING or DOING. Finally, seek to experience the natural goodness of others and empower myself, at every step.

How much will you dedicate this year to the development of your spirituality?

Coaching for a better new year

The change of year, even though it happens so often and in a predictable way, stimulates novelty, hope and sometimes adventure.

There is an extra energy in the mind and the will power is stronger than in other times of the year.

So, here are a few powerful questions for reflection that may help you in your self-growth:

• What are the dreams that will be brought about in this year that is starting?
• How do I visualize myself at the end of the next year? What can I do to make it happen?
• In which way can I change my life so that I experience I am starting a new chapter, or even a new book?
• How to put my hopes into practice, turning them into actions and making them part of my life?
• What is it impossible, but I will do it this year?
• How will I empower myself so that all my wishes and desires are fulfilled?
• What are the new adventure, fun and positive anxiety, which will start this year?
• How much will I embrace change and generate transformation?
• And no matter what happens, how do I keep myself being myself: authentic?

You have all resources you need to transform the world - Reason 14

Whilst most people complain about the world, being a leader means to be here to transform the world.

It means being the instigator of change since a leader has all skills he or she needs to change the face of reality.  How does that work?

When a normal person does something, she or he fulfils a certain role and duty.  That gives the person a sense of social belonging, and success comes when whatever this person does is extraordinary or very useful.

A leader will go beyond that as she or he will think of doing it in a different way, and may even change the course of a company or country completely.  There is the classic example in management of Andrew Grove, when he changed INTEL from being a company selling computer memory to a company selling microprocessors[1].  As a normal manager, he wouldn’t do that; on the contrary, he would excel in his tasks and make INTEL an even better memory producing company.  As a leader, he challenged the status quo and changed computer history.

One cannot change the whole world if it doesn’t start with one’s own point of view and life.  As the example above, when a leader changes the world around himself or herself, eventually the whole world changes.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

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[1] Andrew Grove (1936 – 2016) was one of the first people to work with INTEL.  This article talks about the book, written by Grove, Only the paranoid survive: How to exploit the Crisis point that challenge every company and career.  https://hbr.org/1996/11/inside-intel

How to change your behavior?

Can you stop eating your nails? Hummm… I knew you would act just like that! Did you lose your job again? Can’t you make something about the way you treat other people?

When people want you to change, that means your behavior. However, it is not that easy as you probably already know.

Behavior is influenced by the way we think and see the world, which may be called attitude and awareness. So, if you are able to change any behavioral feature but you did not change your attitude and awareness, that will come back when you less expect.

For instance, if you are able to stay at a job longer than normally, that is something to celebrate. However, part of the reason you used to lose your job was your bad temper and it happens in this job each person is nice; what will happen when your boss hires someone who starts to upset you then?

The inner concept you have about yourself tells you something like this: whenever someone starts to create problems for you, just move away from that person. That means your time in this job is limited by those circumstances; when you change your awareness, you will be able to keep any job.

This is why this idea of quick change or 21 days to get rid of a habit is a myth if you don’t change those invisible aspects along with those nasty habits.

How to change the way you think? How to change who you are? That means deep reflection and inner work; it means you need a method that helps you with that too.

In my experience, the easiest part is attitude and there is a basic 3-step process that may help a person to do that:

1. Identify. First of all you have to understand your attitude; it works as a template for your thoughts so that when you react to situations or you start to reflect on something, those thoughts will work a pattern. Identifying and understanding the pattern is the first stage of a personal change. OK, I have the tendency of being pessimistic…
2. Check and change. During sometime – ok, it can be 21 days… – you will be your own observer. You may use some tools like meditation or a journal, but the main important point is to be aware of those patterns; whenever a bad attitude emerges, stop a few seconds or minutes and review it, replacing it with the thoughts or ideas you would like to have instead. I think I will lose this job… Wait a second! Why am I even thinking like this? I will work with quality and intensity, and I will prepare myself better by studying and researching, improving that quality.
3. Dare. After a while, you will feel things have changed and bad patterns are not emerging as much as before, or have completely disappeared. That is the point when you have to challenge yourself and get into a situation where you will test your ability, see what happens with you and go back to the first stage of this process. I will go and talk to my boss, seeing if there is the possibility of losing my job, but I will do that from a positive point of view, knowing how capable I am.

With your awareness, it is a similar process, but deeper and subtler. Meditation is probably the best tool when you feel it is not enough to change attitudes, and the reason is that by meditating, you have another perspective of who you are, beyond all labels you have tagged in yourself; so, you can identify that you want to change, being an observer and eventually, challenge yourself to see if the change really happened.

When both have changed you will feel a behavioral transformation. Even if one of those – attitude and awareness – has changed, you will feel some level of transformation.

Deep change, a key for a REAL better life

For improvement in your life, there are many different ways such as getting a new job, take a few courses or getting involved with an exercise routine.

But all of this only touches the surface, and surfaces change too; after being able to improve your life in some area, something else happens and there is a tendency of going back to the former situation.

Some researchers say that our brain is not able to differentiate reality from thinking and feeling. So, it is possible that by making small changes and getting some improvement in life, people just get happy with that. They don’t try to go further and make deep changes.

However, deep changes are what we really need to experience a life that is worthwhile and meaningful.

There is a simple way to start your deep change and as a consequence, to step into a much better life. There is no simple way to make the change happens and there is definitely no easy way to reach transformation, the final result of a change. But this is a start…

1. Identify the things that will make your life better after changing them. You can check for your own heart and the emotions that make you sad, or the moments when you have caused harm to others. Maybe the ways you behave with your body or your pocket are indicators of things to change.
2. Elaborate a bit on that. Clarify them and choose the ones that will really impact your life.
3. Now, talk to yourself and go deep into that. For instance, if you think your mother had anything to do with you being uncomfortable with your body or the new government is the reason you are not well financially… well, think again. You need to reach a point of domain where reasons are within your reach and not on anybody else.
4. Maybe the former step will take a while, but you will reach a moment in this reflection process where you are able to identify something that is inside you. It is part of your personality, character or it comes from time to time, but it is you. And that is good, as you can change yourself.
5. Visualize, think or write about how your life would be with that part of you changed. That is an important step. An example is someone who gets projects done by getting worried; if that person choses to change his way of being and don’t worry anymore, how will he accomplish his projects? So, it is not only a question of eliminating something, you have to develop something too.
6. After visualization, you have to make a decision about what you have to eliminate from yourself. Sometimes, it is just you have to change it into something else. Other times, you really have to erase it and there are many forms of doing it, depending on you. For me, meditation works. For other people, reflection and even therapy is the solution. A common ground exists however: the will to change that part of yourself.
7. It is good to think of what you will do to yourself when you fail in this process of change. Although I wouldn’t recommend whipping, you have to have some kind of light punishment to help you with that. For instance, a week without television… It works!
8. It also works if you give yourself a small prize when you have a special victory. Nothing big, a chocolate bar or spending some extra time with your child would be enough.
9. Last piece of advice on these steps to perform a deep change: develop something in yourself that compensates whatever you are erasing. In the former example, that person may develop some planning skills to do the project. Sometimes, it is a bit fuzzy, particularly when it has to do with a part of your personality, so take your time and understand what has to be done. Then, do it!

I must say there is no real final result in this, but I am sure you will reach transformation and improve your life in the best way possible.

The power of goals

Walking our journey as professional people, family members or just individuals can look tiresome. We feel that many times in our lives, just weary and it seems very difficult to keep on going.

Goals function is to motivate us to keep on moving by using 3 factors:

• Hope. It is the first layer of any goal. No matter how cold the aim is or how much you have calculated it, hope drives you to think things can be better and you can do it. After all, real goals propose a different reality than you live; hope helps you to imagine it, feel it inside you and make your whole being working towards it.
• Reality. I would put here LOGIC, however I think that word is not the same at the time of setting goals. You have to be real, not negatively real, but real enough to set goals you can fulfill. As a friend of mine has said, go into battles that are small enough to be won but big enough to matter.
• Insight. I would put here INTUITION, but again, I don't think this word is the one that helps you when you set goals. At the time of setting goals, you have to be careful as they should be something beyond the reality, balancing with the logical perception. The best way is to go inside yourself and take from there that energy you need to guess, to imagine and visualize a future you will be creating brick by brick.

So, start your journey towards the future with lots of hope. Trust the reality you live and what you hear from within.

A personal model of self-leadership

For me, self-leadership is the key to everything in terms of managing your own life.

Along the years, I have been working on several models of self-leadership. And I know this is something that won't end today... But, as it is for today, this is my present model, and its outcomes:

• My self-leadership is based in a model of 8 basic attitudes. I call them "spiritual powers", and I have written a book on that in Spanish and Portuguese.
• I understand self-leadership as the basis of actual leadership. When problems arise, I always look at the leadership that comes from inside.
• Empowerment is key, and self-empowerment is irreplaceable. I get that from 3 main sources: meditation, constant study and blessings (yeah, you heard right!).
• Blessings are the main fruit of self-leadership. It means a positive and powerful energy that comes from other people as a result of your service to others, and it is a complement to self-empowerment.
• Checking. Nothing is perfect, a leader of the self is always checking the self.
• Changing and transforming. To be a leader of the self means to change from your own will and to embrace transformation as a positive step, always.

I will be talking about each item later. Take care.

About 30...

You possibly know I am in a spiritual path, with the Brahma Kumaris. And I tell you: in my wild dreams, I couldn't imagine one day I would be following this path... I never even imagined I would be discovering what I really am, and that that discovery would take decades. On the 12th., it is came three decades.

What I have found about myself in all this time it has been a wonder. It was like a veil being removed and the truth being revealed. After a time when I believed I was good for nothing, the depth of this path has helped me to find out I am not only good for everything, I am excellent.

Yet, before that wonderful day when I started going through my path, I used to do... things. I've read the first five books of the Bible, and most of the Old Testament; particularly, I've never felt attraction for the New Testament. I read the Bhagawad Gita and a small book used in the Sei-Cho-No-Ie. I never stopped really believing in some spiritual aspects of life, like God or reincarnation, but they were not in the spotlight of my existence. I always believed that a new era was to come, and not only that but I researched on it, and yet that did not change the route of my life.

30 years in a different path, chosen by my own will and decisions, have made a powerful impression in my life, moulding it and transforming it completely. The first impact was - and still is - about the essence of who I am. Not the body, not the person who was educated in such a such a way, but a soul. A free and complete soul, with all its capacities and powers. In fact, from time to time I still discover more and more aspects about who I am. It is fascinating and challenging to see my life changing not because something else is doing it, but because I am doing it.

30 years in this path has enabled me to rebuild my relationship with God. I believe every human being is not only a child of God, but his or her link with God is eternal and imperishable. However, all of us can lose that link at some point, so getting whatever you receive from that turns to be impossible. That was my case; God was an unknown figure in my life. It was so incredible how easy He came back into it. How I have learned to talk to Him again and to experience that eternal link, that eternal love. Everyday, I talk to God. Everyday, He responds to me. It is not a side relationship, it is the core part of my life as it is.

30 years in this path and I have seen obstacles melt in front of my eyes. Things I couldn't imagine I would be doing, I am doing them easily now. Melt is perhaps not the right word - I faced the obstacles using what I am receiveing from this path: knowledge, inner power, a new understanding, wisdom and a network of people who is always there to support me. I feel I am always victorious, because even when something does not happen as it should, I still learn and change.

30 years... and I have you in my life. Somehow, you have entered and you are sharing my feelings and thoughts. I welcome you and I thank you as you are part of it. You have taught me many things and I am sure there are still things to share with you in this path. Hope you can come also to your path. If it is the same as mine, I will be pleased. If it is not, I will be curious and glad to know you have found it. Because I wish one day you will also be 30 years in this path of yours. Even more...

Ah, did I tell you I am also having my birthday...

Thank you to be there.

And I thank myself to have accepted this opportunity.

When the butterfly gets stuck

As a natural process, caterpillars turn into beautiful butterflies. There is no decision-making, obstacles from other people or anything which is not natural.

Oh, yes, let's not be romantic about it, I am sure a whole bunch of predators is waiting for that moment when the vulnerable caterpillar is becoming something totally different and so many butterflies never see the daylight. However, what I would like to talk is about the differences with the human caterpillar, that is, you and me.

When any person starts his or her own transformation process towards a unique caterpillar, it involves not a decision from nature, but from the person to do it. That is what makes it happens initially. Sometimes, transformation is caused by something external, like the death of a spouse, but the real transformation only happens when its process starts from a deep, sincere and genuine desire for change. If that ingredient is not present, transformation will be something ON and OFF, relying on external factors like how job is going or a physical guru.

During the transformation process, a human being just like the caterpillar counterpart requires a set of situations to happen. If they are not present, then the the human butterfly can get stuck somewhere in the middle, or worse the transformation can reverse and an even uglier caterpillar emerge:

• A final goal. It is fundamental that during the whole transformation period the person keeps in mind her or his final objective in life, that wonderful vision. It is not only to remind the person where he or she is going to, but it is also a powerful motivator when things go wrong, and a real change tends to attract many wrong things.
• A proper environment. The human caterpillar needs space (openness to try, fail, and try again, experimenting with many aspects of life), support (people, books, movies or music that not only inspires but also guides), time (a specific schedule is important for an effective change; retreats, seminars, courses or other events are also efficient ways to use time) and a method (it implies a knowledge, certain values and orientation on how to implement that in life). If the person does not have a good physical environment, awareness can also created a kind of mental stage that will work like an environment.
• Constant checking. In nature things are very easy and when the butterfly is ready, it simply flies away. In the case of human butterflies, it is need to check constantly about the current state of the transformation and be ready to correct the transformation route.
• Enjoy! Probably that is quite similar to the nature: when the human butterfly is ready, it is important to enjoy the sweet fruit of self-transformation.

Hope this can be helpful in your own transformation. Have a nice flight!