Sunday, July 30, 2017

Instead of putting up with someone’s behaviour, you are able to tolerate it, which helps him or her to change - Reason 4

One of the big challenges we live in our modern society is diversity.  On one hand, it opens an incredible space for learning and change; on the other hand, humans are not made to live with people who are too different from themselves.

It is a fact everyone likes to live with other people who are equal to them, or at least have some similitude.  When you have to live with people who are too different, well, you just grit your teeth and move on.

As a leader, you don’t do that.  Instead, you use one of the most powerful capacities any leader has: tolerance.

Tolerance is an internal power that enables its owner to live her or his own life as it is, without being disturbed by others’ behaviour.  In fact, a tolerant person gives others a very valuable lesson on how to deal with differences.  And as we know, learning is changing.

Tolerance enables others to change not because they have to, but because the leader is giving so much to them that they feel the need and benefit of changing.  By changing on the basis of tolerance a common and strong ground is built, easing the relationship and helping each other to adapt to the other.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Your example convinces others - Reason 3

Convincing others to do something is a big part of doing your job as a manager or being a parent, which is not an easy duty; you don’t have even the option of yelling at them!  Frustrating, right?

It would be if you were not a leader.  But as you are, it is a wonderful challenge you accept from the heart, because there is the understanding that there is no need to convince anybody. Besides, it is a waste of time.

Your way of dealing with others is based on your life and that is your main power: you are an example for others.

Giving example is a task in itself because it does not work automatically.  A model takes time to have the desired effect and the reason is very simple: everyone has their own way of doing things.


So, when people see someone doing the same thing but in a different way, there is a clash between the way I do and the way others do.  A leader solves this conflict by either giving them proof their way is the best, or by being humble enough to accept others’ way.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Every day you look at your family and friends from a fresh perspective - Reason 2

People get used to each other and fall very easily into routine.  And as someone once said, routine kills love.

In fact, there is nothing wrong about routine… It’s great!  The problem is the attitude that emerges from activities that don’t require your discernment, intelligence or intuition.  Those three make relationships and your life in general richer, no matter for how long you have been with them.

Your family and friends are extremely important for you.  They create a safe zone where you can make mistakes and learn how to do them right, without serious consequences – in a company, THEY FIRE YOU for the same errors your partner has pointed to you.

As a leader, you see them as more than just people.  They are your day-to-day heroes, rescuing you from stress, horrible decisions to be made and peer-pressure.  This attitude enables the leader to find a new thing about each one everyday, something small or big, full of impact or almost irrelevant, that makes them even more incredible.

In fact, what you are doing is stimulating their leadership since when you look at them like that, the Pygmalion Effect[1] takes place and wonders happen from apparently ordinary people.


(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)




[1] The Pygmalion Effect is an internal process that happens when a person looks at others with a higher vision, provoking an increase on the other person’s performance, results or state of mind.  See more about that here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect

Sunday, July 9, 2017

When you reflect on a decision before you make it, you then give it power - Reason 1

Normal people go and do whatever they want, and because of that the results are ‘whatever’.

A leader thinks first, then acts.  As a consequence, the action is far more effective and the result will be many times more effective.  The reason is that reflection has the power to turn actions into a magic that makes dreams come true.

Not only that: all actions cause a reaction – a consequence.  This means a person can easily get wrapped up and trapped into a cycle of actions and reactions.  A leader will create a relationship between action and reaction that will be just like a seed and a fruit. 

With awareness a leader realises every performed action is a seed that bears fruit. And that fruit then goes on to produce many more seeds and fruit of the same.  One action will go on to produce not just one result, but will inspire many more actions and results


That action, after reflection, becomes much more than an ordinary action. It is special, valuable and extraordinary, and its creator is that too.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Reason Zero… Embrace what you are

Sometime ago, at a church in a small village, a crisis emerged.  It was a small monastery and for many years the priests had been serving that community.  However, slowly people stopped going to church and things had reached an unusual low point where at the last Sunday mass, absolutely NOBODY attended.  It was frustrating for the Dean, the chief of the priests, who that day thought he prepared an especially good sermon!

He began to reflect deeply.  Although some of his colleagues accused other religions, sects and even the television to have stolen the faithful, he did not believe it.  After all, many places were not affected and crowds continued to go there.  Such was the case of a synagogue located in another town.  As it happened, on the Dean’s desk was a leaflet which invited him to attend a lecture by that rabbi, so he decided to go.

When time came, he dressed nicely and went to the venue, which was packed.  He listened attentively to the lecture and even though the Rabbi’s style was different, the Dean couldn’t see much difference in the actual content in the sermon to what he would also use.  Again, the Dean reflected:  Why weren’t people going to the church at the monastery?  He decided to do something that would be hard and very daring, but he was sure it would work.

At the end of the lecture he waited patiently and at last he could talk to the Rabbi.  After introducing himself, he summarised the crisis: low number of people, discouragement and conflict among the priests, bad financial situation, etc.

The Rabbi listened with lots of attention, then looked at him and said: “You know what? I think this situation is not that difficult.  Can I live with you for a while, let’s say, until Saturday?  In this way, I will able to understand what is going on and maybe give some suggestion.”  It had happened that some of the Rabbi’s appointments have been cancelled and he had some time that was now spare.

The Dean accepted the idea and without further discussion, he took the Rabbi to stay with them at the monastery, which had a quite comfortable – and not often used – guests’ room.

It was war!  Or almost … after all, the priests’ view was that their leader had brought a stranger from another religion to their sacred space.  The Dean dedicated himself to the new guest, aware that some of the other priests would speak harsh words.

The Rabbi was a very nice guest, being able to appreciate all he saw.  Every meal he found exquisite and he treated everyone with extreme respect.  The days passed quickly and on the last day, the small community of priests has been won over by the humble rabbi.

When he was about to leave and to return to his city and synagogue, the Dean decided to ask the Rabbi, in front of everyone, his opinion about the present situation regarding lack of church attendance and if he saw a solution for that.

The energy in the room changed and everyone paid rapt attention to the Rabbi’s words.  The man just smiled and said in a very smooth tone: “I didn’t see anything as a reason of the present crisis, really…  But a perception I have had and I must share with you is that I think that one of you is the Messiah.”

It was as if the Rabbi had dropped a bomb, and after he left, everyone went about their duties with that thought in their minds.  Of course, the Dean thought, if that was true it would be Peter, our cook, who is always working hard.  And the leader of the priests had a few ideas on what to do to encourage people to come.  He left and he went to visit some of the members of his congregation.

Peter, the cook, thought it should be James, the gardener.  Those roses are fantastic and he does his work with so much love.  And like a contagion, everyone started to feel someone else was the Messiah.  And that day, the food was really good, the garden was extremely tidy and the Dean came back with a huge smile.  No need to say, Sunday mass was a big success.

On my pathway towards leadership, I found this tale contained many important aspects pertaining to good leadership: the responsibility of putting things right, the initiative to look for the solution and the humility to accept different points of view.  Joel Barker[1] has once said:  A leader is a person you will follow to a place you would not go by yourself.  With his statement, the Rabbi moved those people towards a new place in terms of their attitude.

It is difficult is to be a leader…  This was my realisation a few years ago and so, no wonder many people has given up on the idea of leadership is because it is complicated to find a leader that does what she or he is supposed to do.

On the other hand, I must say there are plenty of little leaders, a term I use with the best of intentions to describe the hundreds or thousands of people who are doing their best and are bringing change in various sectors of our civilisation.  They are moving dozens or hundreds of people towards a new point in their lives, but the impact in the whole of society or at least beyond their reach is little or invisible.

But, instead of complaining about the lack of leaders who create impact and who take people to that place they would not otherwise go, we could refocus and look into a door opened by the lack of leadership: the self-leadership path.  In other words, as there are no leaders by absolute; anyone has the capacity to be, and should be a leader.  It requires a feeling of deep meaning and lots of reflection, but it is a wonderful life when there is this realisation and the practice: I am my own leader.

Warren Bennis who is probably the greatest expert on leadership used to say that to have a position is just a means to express and perform a person’s leadership[2], and that position may be a CEO of a company, a manager of a charity organisation or a parent, as they all share the same motto:  A leader is a person you will follow to a place you would not go by yourself.

The basic reason why to be a leader is so good is not much the position a leader can reach in society or how many people he or she may influence, but by using that as a leverage, he or she can reach a stage of self-leadership, a point where life is a consequence of thoughts, feelings, attitude and awareness.

And this is the Reason Zero why it is so good to be a leader, the reason present in the tale of the church Dean, in your story of leadership or mine:

Embrace what you are and understand the reasons to be a leader, by experiencing your self-leadership.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)



[1] Joel Barker is an American academic who become renowned by his work on paradigms.  You can check this quote here: http://www.joelbarker.com/perfect-quotes/a-leader-is-someone-you-choose-to-follow-to-a-place-you-would-not-go-by-yourself/
[2] Bennis, Warren (1989), On Becoming a Leader. Century Business. Bennis was a very important scholar who has done extensive research on the topic of leadership.