If you are working in an organization, how to develop trust?

 

Organizations are not a natural human environment.

We come from families, communities, tribes, religious groups and neighborhoods. In those settings, trust develops over time through conversations, shared experiences, keeping our word and supporting one another. It grows because people consistently show who they are.

Organizations are different. Today, with many people working remotely - or hoping to - building trust has become even more challenging. Yet it has never been more necessary.

Trust is the foundation of cohesion, one of the core values of any healthy organization, the pavement of the bridges that connect people and make collaboration possible.

There is no real team without trust and there is no high-performance work without it. After all, how can we truly work with someone if we don't trust them?

Like any meaningful relationship, trust does not appear overnight. It is cultivated, one interaction at a time. Here are a few ideas that may help:

• Be aware of your environment and the culture of the organization where you work or serve. Understanding the existing level of trust is the first step toward strengthening it.
• Lead yourself first by choosing to trust others. You don't need dramatic gestures and especially when a relationship is new or still superficial, small steps are enough to begin.
• If you are a leader, create a safe environment where people can trust one another. During many years of working with organizations, one of the most powerful moments in workshops was often a trust-building exercise. It may not solve everything, but it can be an excellent starting point.
• If you are not in a leadership position, never underestimate small acts of kindness. Remember someone's birthday, celebrate a colleague's success or simply be present when someone needs support. These everyday actions strengthen relationships, and trust naturally follows.
• If you find yourself distrusting someone, don't let the distance grow. Have an honest conversation, perhaps with a neutral facilitator if needed, and try to rebuild the bridge.
• And if you sense that others don't yet trust you, be patient. Stay consistent and let your actions speak over time. Trust is rarely won through words alone; it is earned through coherence. Eventually, people will recognize your character and place their confidence in you.

Trust is not built through extraordinary moments. More often, it is created in a common way, consistently over time.

A quest for a sustainable motivation

 Motivation is good; as human beings, we all need it. Otherwise, even very necessary - and urgent - tasks won’t be performed. But things are more complex nowadays, with the demands of our jobs, family life, spiritual endeavors, and even our health.

So, I would like to explore motivation as a quest, through a few stories.

A close friend once had a very important role during a program for almost 1,000 people. His task was fundamental… yet he was late. We met at a bus stop, and while I was feeling anxious because of the delay, he was completely tranquil. After some time on the bus, we also became calm, influenced by his attitude. Then, suddenly, he started to get agitated. Eventually, he literally ran from the bus towards the auditorium, leaving us stunned. For many, motivation arises at the edge of anxiety; for others, that same edge creates worry. But this type of motivation can also feed the habit of procrastination - and quietly damage productivity.

Someone once changed jobs for a better salary. After a while, something felt missing… Looking for that same sense of drive, he moved again - and then again. Each time, the promise was greater, the reward slightly higher. Until he found himself repeating the same cycle: arriving, adjusting, and soon after, searching again. Material motivation - money, possessions - works well, but it carries a subtle side effect: satisfaction is short-lived, and sometimes it even deepens dissatisfaction.

A person had always dreamed of a house in the countryside, and one day, she made it happen. So much happiness. But slowly, the silence became heavy. Loneliness appeared, as it often does in rural areas. At some point, fear crept in. And when anxiety took over, clarity disappeared. She couldn’t find a way forward and drifted into despair. Even the most beautiful dream can turn into a nightmare. First, work on it, shape it, prepare for it and only then… live it.

I met her many years ago. She was young, vibrant, full of life. Then illness came - a deteriorating condition that changed everything. It was hard, painful, and at times heartbreaking. But something shifted. Over time, she learned not only to cope, but to transform that experience. She wrote a book in Spanish, The Healing Energy of Sickness, and began to share a different perspective: that even illness can become a source of growth. Today, she spreads hope - a hope born from a motivation she never expected. Motivation comes from how we perceive reality. Even the most difficult situations can become a source of strength.

There are people who naturally motivate others, and others who don’t. I know someone whose presence feels… wholesome. Being around him is both a pleasure and an honor. He doesn’t push; he invites. He inspires people to look within and discover their own potential - not just what they can do, but who they can be. And perhaps most importantly, when he leaves, something remains. True motivators are measured by the lasting effect they have on others.

And then, there is another path. I’ve faced many obstacles in my life - moments when I almost gave up. But I kept returning: making effort, meditating, studying, refining my attention. At some point, something became clear. I realized that I could become my own source of motivation. Since then, I’ve tried to sustain that awareness. In such a complex world, self-motivation carries a quiet strength - but only when it comes from self-leadership, particularly self-control and self-empowerment.

Motivation is not a single moment; it is a continuous process. And perhaps understanding this… allows us to remain, more often, in a state of quiet satisfaction.

Be your own leader… and motivate yourself

 

Leaders motivate - that’s one of their main roles, regardless of the type of leadership they embody.
So, if you are the leader of your own life, shouldn’t you also motivate yourself? Let’s explore this comparison.

• Leading by example. Some leaders motivate simply through their actions. People follow what they see more than what they hear. Think of Gandhi, who reshaped his entire lifestyle so others could walk the path of his ideas.
• Leading with words. Others move the world with powerful speeches or writings. Martin Luther King and Karl Marx, in very different ways, stirred minds and hearts with the strength of their words.
• Leading quietly. Some leaders don’t look extraordinary at first glance, yet their impact is immense. Eunice Paiva, a housewife, changed her own life and transformed her family’s life after her husband was kidnapped; not only that, she became a pioneer in the fight for indigenous rights - opening a whole new field of social change.

Now, what about self-leadership?

• Discipline - no excuses. Sometimes you just have to act. Doing an action sets an example for yourself, proving you truly can.
• Read, write, record. The words you absorb become fuel. The words you express - whether written or spoken - strengthen your values and shape your world.
• Start small, move big. Small steps, especially during challenges, can transform everything. That one move forward might seem ordinary, but it’s enough to create momentum - and motivation to keep going.

Self-leadership is about becoming both the example and the voice that follows. When you learn to inspire yourself, you’ll find that motivation is no longer something you search for - it’s something you generate.

Why values are fading and why we must rescue them

 

It’s easy to get lost in today’s fast-paced world. Traffic, economic stress and social media can make anyone forget what really matters. But maybe all this chaos has a deeper cause, something quieter and more dangerous: the slow death of values.

OK, kind of dramatic, but since many years I have been observing people stopped using values at the time of taking decisions. Yes, some code of ethics remained, but it was not something like values or principles, ingrained to a person’s compass.

And we rarely stop to reflect. We move, act, react… but seldom pause to ask questions such as:

What is guiding my decisions?

What is truly important to me?

What am I using as the main element in my personal compass?

This lack of reflection on our values may be contributing to the present situation, the way we live and even the identity crisis of younger generations, the disconnection in relationships and the weariness felt by so many. We’ve traded what really matters for what matters for the moment or what feels urgent…

So, let’s ask again: Why are values important?

I give you two answers:

• Values give life meaning. They help us face crises without losing our integrity. They help us build stronger families, organizations, and societies. And they remind us that it’s not just about surviving, but living with dignity, kindness and purpose.
• Values define our actions. They help us define which actions we should make at a certain moment, particularly when there are many possibilities. And so, they are a key part of our self-leadership.
• Values are part of our compass… OK, I was talking about two answers and this was touched before, but, please, understand it that values correspond to the south of our compass and they support in a definite way our vision of the future (north). Without values as a real part of our lives, we won’t be able, or at least it will be quite difficult, to build up a fulfilling future.

The world may not change overnight.

But we can talk about values again. And keep on talking about them…

And living them more…

Overcoming very strange obstacles

 

We all know how to overcome obstacles. The usual kind? No problem.

But nowadays, we’re facing a new wave of very strange obstacles.

Let me explain with an example: a typical obstacle might be not having a job. A stranger obstacle could be having a job you don’t enjoy or one you lack the skills for.
And a very strange obstacle? Having a job you dislike and feeling like you have to pretend you love it - just to meet the expectations of your family or community.

For common obstacles, there are well-known steps: look for a job, talk to friends, take courses, learn new skills and so on.

But with these stranger ones… it gets more complicated.
Years ago, the advice was simple: "Don’t like your job? Just quit!"
"Missing skills? Go learn them!"
But today, things aren’t so straightforward. The job market is uncertain. The workplace is constantly shifting. And even if you learn a new skill, it might be outdated by the time you master it.

Maybe now is the time to learn how to love the job - not in a forced way, but by connecting with its purpose or seeing what it teaches you. From that sense of connection, perhaps a shift will come naturally, if that’s what’s truly best.

Maybe it’s time to focus not just on skills, but on assimilating knowledge. With real understanding, upgrading your skills becomes much easier and more organic.

And then we arrive at the very strange obstacles…
These often live in the emotional and mental layers of our challenges. In this case, the obstacle shows up in our relationships - in the struggle to be true to ourselves, especially when we are seen as role models by others.

The solution isn’t simple, but it is possible: we need to develop self-leadership.
That means gaining clarity about your future vision, your values, your purpose - and finding a balance between spirituality and practicality.
When you lead yourself, you can make decisions that might be unpopular but are right for you - like leaving a job. And you can help others understand that choice, turning it into a shared learning experience rather than a disruption.

To summarize:

• Overcoming a normal obstacle: follow the usual steps and ask for help when needed.
• Overcoming a strange obstacle: don’t rush into action. Reflect first.
• Overcoming a very strange obstacle: lead yourself with vision and integrity - and turn the challenge into growth for yourself and others.

The Attitude of Assertiveness

Many years ago, the word ASSERTIVENESS began circulating. It was something new, a different attitude that emphasized self-esteem, within the communicational context, avoiding negative confrontation.

It's probably the most important communication skill out there, but it's still not talked about much, and maybe not as practiced as it should be. Some of its benefits are very clear:

• Increased self-esteem, on both sides of the conversation. The assertive side needs self-esteem for this skill to work well and, if there is no self-esteem on the other side, it is too "low" or too "high", it won’t work either.
• Better results in a negotiation, generating satisfaction. The assertive side will feel that their requests and demands have been heard and the other side will understand them better, being able to make a decision.
• A greater understanding of others’ needs. Although assertiveness serves to express what a person really thinks or needs, it can help in developing the ability to understand as we all have points in common and an assertive person acknowledges that unites them as a bridge.

Assertiveness, as an attitude, works as a template in which thoughts will come from self-esteem and will serve as a reaffirmation to the person. It is part of a self-leadership attitude, part of the process of an individual reclaiming their power to lead themselves.

I would like to focus on this self-leadership and, in relation to this, assertiveness has two basic functions:

• Facing without confronting. Look at situations head-on, facing them. However, know that you don't need to fight people or situations; confrontation is the last instance of a conflict that, in general, can be solved through several ways and assertiveness is a tool of empowerment.
• Defending without contesting. Defend your ideas, without renouncing principles or vocation and specifically, without fighting with others. It enters into the same function as before, but especially in the stage of conversation or negotiation in which the other party makes their demands; it is key to be protector of what is valuable, without the competition that often happens.

But how does it work?

Without assertiveness, it would be quite complex to make changes in the daily routine, without upsetting a partner or neighbors, or to start a meditator path and expect people in your office to understand your new lifestyle...

Assertiveness will guarantee that you handle talking to your partner, clearly describing your new daily routine, negotiating without giving up what is important to you and obtaining successful results. The same will happen in your work and in all areas you touch in life.

Experience assertiveness and live in an inspired way.

Embracing a tough reality

How is reality for you? In fact, you have – and me too – two realities.

The first one is the REAL ONE, made by atoms and molecules, bodies, things and nature. The second one takes place in our mind and it is as real as the other one, but just for us; it is possible another person will perceive the same reality in a different way.

Let’s think of an exercise. Check an object that you know very well. Now, close your eyes and pick it up – memories will come related to the object. Some of those will be just images or sensations to the touch, but a few will be the moment you received it, who gave it to you, how do you feel when it is near and others that have nothing to do with the physical reality of that object.

In fact, by using this same concept in relation to the situations you see, you hear and you feel, there is something great about it: you may not change the reality as it is, but you can change the perception…

Back to the object: maybe it has been a symbol of love from another person. However, one day, your best friend needs it and you give it away; now, it becomes a symbol of YOUR love towards others. That is one of the most powerful keys to change perception, donation.

So, if your perception of reality is negative, donate something to others, in relation to that. A few examples:

Job situation is BAD! I can’t get work! So, I decide to volunteer and give others the best of myself.

Divorce is knocking at my door… I decide to talk with the person, but I will keep in my mind their special version, the reasons for which we got together.

I am suffering with bullies… I know it is going to pass; now, what I need is to talk with the people who love me, so that I am surrounded by that love and the bullying effect decreases.

So, don’t bother too much with the circumstances; work on your perception and they will change, at least for you.

How is your transition going?

We have been running wildly as a civilization, society and individuals, and, all of a sudden, BOOM! We had to stop…

Like a 200 Km/h car, our world almost crashed, but, hey, we are still here!!

After the pandemic, we have been through a sort of transition, with not much leadership and counting with our own values, beliefs and self-leadership.

And I think it is important to do a checking on how things are really going. In this way, we can reinforce what is working and correct what needs to be corrected. Here are a few questions that may help:

How am I feeling? Let’s start from the abstract, the feelings and sensations. Try to be very specific in relation to those.

How am I doing? Let’s check now about our activities; it is useful to compare the NOW with the BEFORE (pandemic) and to use some indicator (how much I am earning, my trips, meditation experience, etc.).

How am I relating to others? Again, a bit subjective, but it is important to verify the way my relationship to other people has evolved during these years.

How much progress am I making? At this point, it is good to stop and reflect. Progress is not difficult to understand, but many people tend to interpret sensations while others only see results. To know your progress, you have to check the general sensation that you are MUCH BETTER than before, but at the same time, some HARD RESULTS to back that up. If one of them or neither of them is good, it is quite possible you haven’t moved ahead as much as you might think.

I hope what comes from this exercise helps in your own transition.

When it is better not to change…

There are several reasons to change and I think you are a person who likes, or at least WANTS to change, right?

But there are a few reasons to NOT change, even though situations are pushing you to do that.

The first thing is when you are trying to adapt to another person’s way of life. Of course, if you are a partner or a room-mate, then both will have to adapt, but many times, it is a one-way expectation, and that is not right. Create a dialogue with the other person and check how both of you can adapt to each other or alternatives.

The second reason is when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit you. There are cases when they will benefit others; check how to do it in such a way you don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to you, don’t do it. Talk with others and see how you can accommodate, without losing that which is precious in you.

Third, when the changes that are expected from you won’t benefit others, similar to the second reason. There are cases when they will benefit you; check how to do it in such a way others don’t feel a loss. But, in general, if something is not beneficial to others, avoid doing it. Talk with others and see how both sides can accommodate, without losing that which is precious for them.

Now, if you are not fully convinced of any change, reflect upon it. Maybe it is the method you don’t like or the possible outcome; by reflecting and realizing, it is possible you can change or you can reach the conclusion you won’t follow that particular change.

A last advice: you are your own leader. Don’t react, don’t change because situations change and don’t try to make others change. Reflect, meditate and understand before promoting a change in yourself.

The fine balance for your success…

There is a special secret for those who believe we all have an inner compass: the East and the West.

Success – real success – comes when there is a balance of excellence in all areas of life: personal, working, health, spirituality, etc. This is why real success is often out of reach…

A few examples: you probably know people, whose health is amazing, but their relationship with others is horrible, and there are those whose career is ascending constantly, despite the fact they feel down in a personal level.

With this special secret, any person can reach for that balance: at every activity, use the light of your spirituality (the East) and the road of your life experiences (the West).

Before doing anything, particularly if it is impacting or relevant, practice spirituality by meditating or a praying. Also, check if the present capacity matches the need of those actions; if it doesn’t, maybe training is in order.

During activities, keep the spiritual light on; something written can serve as a reminder and from time to time, read it. Jump into the action, by being effective and highly productive.

After those actions, sit down and practice spirituality again. Gratitude may be expressed or just a reflection on what took place. Learning the lessons and planning changes will help improving performance next time.

Check your values at every step

Being a value-oriented person is much more than just being a nice person – it means your actions are connected with your core.

Let me explain: we are like lettuce. It means we have several layers, but there is a central core, the innermost part of the self. Most of the time, our relationships, work, study and the various ways we interact with the world are done from the most superficial layer, which is basically what we write in our curriculum vitae.

However, the main source of energy is in the core of our being, which is full of peace, love, purity and many other wonderful qualities. They try very hard to come into our interaction and to be part of our lives, and that is through values.

When we enable our values to be part of our lives by shaping our decisions, the resulting actions will be full of those qualities and the outcome will be an accomplished life. Then, why don’t we do that?

First reason is that we are used to act from the outer layer, and it is not that bad… a few stains here and there, that’s all! Most of the time… To change it we need to work on our attitude and our awareness, and go deeply, before taking any decision and any step.

Second reason is not good, but we are living in a world in which values have become political weapons. That is the environment we are watching in the news and we experience it when we start to talk with other people. We have to depoliticize values and that starts by not imposing our values onto other people.

The third reason is that people don’t have access to their core. It is often done by praying, meditating or living a spiritual life. Besides those who do have access don’t always implement them into their mundane lives… they are a bit flying in the moon… The best thing here is to start using some technique to live those values and to make sure they also become part of a normal common life.

A purpose for leaders of the self

What is your purpose?

If you are a very educated person, you will ask back: what???

Purpose is an inner guidance that makes the individual to do certain things and not others. As humans, we have a few of these, but purpose is the one with the most impact.

There are of course many different types of purpose, but I am talking here about a higher purpose, something that is not conditioned by a period of time and it serves as part of the inner compass.

Every time someone is REALLY following their purpose, naturally there will be satisfaction in life, all will be successful and the person will feel accomplishment at every step of the process.

However, if the person is not following that in terms of actions and behavior, or even attitude, then satisfaction will come only when there is visible profit, not everything will be successful and the person won’t feel accomplishment all the time.

Lastly, if the person is GOING AGAINST their purpose… Well, there will be dissatisfaction most of the time, even when there is success it will look like a failure and there will be the feeling this is not fulfilling my purpose in life.

Let’s work on a simple example: a new job.

If the job is aligned to the purpose – I feel my purpose is being fulfilled here – there will be enthusiasm while working, tasks will be fruitful and the person will feel they are progressing by working there.

If the job is NOT aligned to the purpose – I should be doing something else, I should be working somewhere else or in another thing – then there will be enthusiasm from time to time, but most of the time, the person will just do their job; the person will fulfill their role in the tasks, but there will be a lack of belonging and so they may be done in an automatic way, and they will be probably looking for another job right now!

If the job is AGAINST the purpose – What am I doing here? – there will be lack of enthusiasm and maybe an attitude of rebellion against it; this person perhaps will affect other people and the work climate, and finally they will feel stuck there and they may try to do their worse at their position.

So, what is your purpose? As it will impact your whole life, it is better you know it and you live it.

Quo Vadis?

 

Where are you going? It is a very old question… and yet, so important for days like the ones we are living.

There is a general sensation of earth as a boat adrift, without a clear leadership and very little initiative from people in general. The leadership that exists is often restricted to a small sector and its influence does not spread, besides our leaders look like they need lots of help due to the complexity of the present.

In relation to people in general, I feel we are not taking advantage of this unique moment in history: we can all be leaders… of the self.

So instead of looking for people who would tell us where to go, what to be in the future and how to create a new world, it is our turn – yours and mine – to find that out.

So, ask yourself: where am I going? The answer will motivate you to give the first steps.

A little magic trick to change situations

Changing things is not easy. Changing people is very difficult. Changing yourself…

Well, probably that is not easy either, but it is what you can do as you always have the possibility of changing the self.

And there is a little magic trick I can share with you: when you change yourself, particularly when you change your mindset, things change… OK, they don’t necessarily change, but let’s see an example.

You have a very difficult boss, one of the worse you have ever had! You are often arguing with them and you feel they don’t allow you to grow. You like the present workplace and position you have, salary is good, nice people…

So… if you would try to change your boss, what would it happen? Probably nothing, they maybe scold you for trying such a thing, even fire you.

Another option… you may try to change your job. However, besides it is hard to do in the present circumstances, are you sure you are going to have a better boss? No certainty here, right?

Let’s try a bit of magic! Start looking for good things about your boss: they are very well educated, in fact, their curriculum is really impressive, they connect very well with customers and they are a good family person (which is something important for you).

The problems you are having with him are not going away because of that, but they refer to your development and the way things work.

By changing your mindset, you ask yourself: Why don’t I help them to find a new job instead of fighting them? After a few hours browsing, you prepare a list of possible options, a very good profile for your boss and you send to as many companies as possible. After two months, old boss goes (for a very good position) and a new boss comes! Hope is back!

Other magic tricks that would be available in this case: you could go through training and get a better position in the same company and you could apply for another branch of the same company.

Check your problems and use this magic wand to solve them. Magic is available to all of us and the method is the same: instead of trying to change outside, reflect, see which changes you can do within and then implement.

Mind games

OK, check this video first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf0XBkpCnwI

Magic is mind blowing, because it is a mind game, deceiving the mind. However, even though you are not someone with those skills, you can be playing those games too… or being played.

When you try to sell something or you are convincing someone to do what they don’t want to do, that’s a mind game.

Let’s comprehend our mind, not the brain … we need to understand more about the intangible process that takes place within.

First, anything that happens outside is an input to your mind and, on the basis of your valuable experience; the mind will generate thoughts or emotions, ideas or feelings.

Besides the experience, the mind takes into account the present situations: environment, how the person is feeling, whatever is going on.

The game that plays in the mind comes from two main factors: either the experience does not apply to the present input or the situation is influencing negatively the mind.

Two examples:

• Let’s say you want to resume your friendship with another person, but by seeing them, your experience with that person emerges again and it is not positive. Even though you want to be friend again, your mind will tell you that is a waste of time because of what the other person did.
• Same example, but this time you are able to winning over your experience. Yet, the person is not attentive to you, they are focused on other things and they are doing things you don’t like; there again goes your intention to continue the friendship.

How to go beyond the games of mind? Just as in the video, the best thing is to UNDERSTAND…

• When you see the person you want to be friend again and you start remembering old experiences, understand they did happen, but you are willing to give another try, by opening the doors of your heart and mind again.
• Maybe the person is doing THAT THING that annoys you, so it is time to remember the reasons why you want to be friend with them again, which I am sure will be stronger than those things.

In fact, the biggest trick is that you are not a player in the mind games; you are the owner and the one who defines the game.

Reasons to change

Why do we change? Change is a paradox: inevitable, but we keep on avoiding it.

Changes we generate come out of a need, often without been chosen. Now, during the pandemic, many people are changing professional careers due to their economic situation.

But changes may also come as an opportunity, and that is something we choose; for the same environment, people who are expert in telecommunication saw their live changes as they took advantage of what is happening and their own specialty.

Still, these points indicate an outside factor influences us to change. There is an alternative that comes from self-leadership.

It is the change we generate after a deep reflection.

It is the change we do not because we need or we are forced to do, but because we are convinced it is important.

It is the change that comes from the heart and we do out of love for the self, others or the environment.

It is the change we do so that we can be a better person, a better version of ourselves.

So, let’s be the leader of the self and change.

Managing this new reality

How do we manage reality? Besides the physiological side ( the way the brain deals with things), a friend of mine once expressed his point of view and it was very interesting: think as if you have a copy of the external things in your mind and when you relate to them, you are doing it with that copy, not with the reality.

Therefore the problems we experience in terms of dealing with situations come from the difference between the real and the copy. An example:

A friend of mine wanted a bike to go to work; eventually he got it, but the real one didn’t work as he was living about 15 Km far plus the traffic… the end of that dream was an accident he suffered.

The bike to go to work was a copy and the 15 Km far plus the traffic was the reality that crushed his dreams.

Now, what happens when there is a new reality? Particularly when the reality is totally new, we come with a similar copy in our minds, an approximate reference, and we relate to it. It comes from (ours and others’) opinions, ideas and past experiences, beliefs and values, personality, will and a personal call. But it is very different from the reality itself, probably much more different than the example before…

Let’s imagine there is a big sale of bicycles in a huge store. Immediately, a person sees themselves already mounting a very modern shine bike. They go to the shop and there is a huge queue in front and when eventually they reach the place where to get the bicycle, the only thing remaining is not modern, not at all shining…

Another way is to not let yourself be convinced by the copy you carry in your mind. Instead you challenge your perception and you are able to align the copy with the real thing.

Instead of let yourself being fooled by the sale of bicycles, you research more and you are able to find the perfect bike – as perfect as possible – at some shop. You are aware it is not exactly what you wanted, but the price is good and for now, that will be it.

It is not as easy as it sounds, since it means you have to challenge opinions, ideas, past experiences, beliefs, values, personality, your will and call… But you can do it.

Particularly with the new reality we are all living, the best thing is to stop for a moment and align the inner copy with the reality. A few powerful questions may help you:

• Why am I feeling like this? What is the real cause?
• If I don’t like something, what is it possible to get that comes closer to what I like? What should I do to make it happen?
• When it is impossible to live with the reality, what can I do to cope with it? If I can’t cope, what is the alternative I can live, so that I don’t suffer?

 

By having this this couple by your side, your change will be successful

When life is moving along according to plans, you just need to dance… Life is often a performance and of course, we would enjoy it greatly.

But, many times the rhythm changes and the music you don’t love starts to play… Fights... Arguments… Betrayals… Losing a job… Broccoli…

And yet, you can’t stop dancing as life doesn’t end with one song. You have to keep on dancing…

For that, the best is to count with a wonderful couple who will be along with you, partners in this dynamic dance.

On one hand hold on to patience and let your life feels like a living experience of bliss.

On the other hand, hold on to perseverance and never stop trying…

When you are dancing forever, obstacles come: sometimes you may get disheartened and other times, others get disheartened in relation to you. Patience gives you certainty that if you have been sowing the right seeds, at some point good crops will come up. In this way, patience motivates you to not give up.

However, many times the outcome of your acts will take too long to emerge; perseverance enables you to not give up and keep on trying. But being perseverant is much more than being stubborn – real perseverance will make you check the self and understand what is going on as many (most of the) times it is because of you that things are not taking place as they should.

And that is the formula for success, especially when you are promoting a change: be patient and perseverant.

 

This post is part of a series for a better year, and this is the end, so I wish you good luck with this wonderful year!

The art of trusting the self

Do you really want to change things? Really?

You do know you can’t, right? Remember when you tried that summer? It didn’t work! You can’t change things, they are what they are!!!

 

This is an inner dialogue performed inside our mind so many times that for many of us, self-confidence in relation to promote changes is very slippery.

And yet, if you really want to have a wonderful year – you do want that, right? – self-confidence is the most important thing to develop, probably before anything else and there is a particular reason for it.

Self-confidence enables you to trust your decisions and to perform well even when your actions are against odds. Particularly when you are in a change process generated by yourself, it is very easy to fall back to the comfort zone or to copy other people, and either of these options may make your change process fails.

 

So, let’s talk about how to overcome the wonderful temptation of our comfort zone…

It is really not that comfortable, but it gives a false sense of security and stability since even bad things are known and you learn how to bear. Breaking out the comfort zone means to go out in the wild and maybe it will not be a pleasant experience; but it could be wonderful.

The trick to overcome the attraction is to increase the personal capacity; in this way, you feel confidence you can go out there and be successful. Think: what could you be doing differently if you really believe in yourself?

This post is part of a series for a better year. Good luck!

 

A basic instinct whilst changing is to try and copy other people who have gone through a similar process and there is nothing wrong about it, after all if somebody was able to make things work, why can’t you just go and replicate their development?

This brings me a memory from my school: two guys tried to get top marks by copying every movement of the most intelligent guy there, including going to sleep early… I guess I don’t need to tell you their experiment failed miserably.

You cannot really copy others, because you are very different, but you can take ideas, be inspired and motivated by someone else’s success, you can even duplicate their effort. Remember that you are what you are, however you can adapt their success into your life.

In this case, the best thing is to talk with those people or to try and see what works with you, discarding whatever is not working and improving whatever you can improve.

 

You are the leader of yourself, who is generating a change that will impact many others. Good luck!

This post is part of a series for a better year...

What is wrong with today’s leadership?

I don’t want to justify the failure in the world’s leadership – and yes, it is a failure, there is no other world that may explain what is happening. However, there is a simple reason that explains it: lack of adaptation.

You see, leaders are masters in dealing with uncertainty, particular the one created by a crisis.

Most of them are also good in overcoming the obstacles that are fruit of a disruption.

So with both paradigms, the leaders can adapt and conquer.

However, very few leaders are ready to deal with uncertainty and disruption at the same time. It is kind of someone who is an expert in surviving an earthquake being affected by it plus a 10-meters wave…

This is why many leaders have chosen to attack the threat that was more visible, but have ignored others…

How to adapt to the convergence of these two paradigms? The best way would be to invest time and energy strengthening the leadership over the self.

At the extent our leaders become self-leaders, it will be easier for them to find certainty within and on the basis of that, they will be able to meet the problems that emerge with the disruption. Adaptation would happen from inside the self, from their thinking and decision-making process, instead of coming as a reaction.

In this way, we can create a better leadership for our civilization.