Living among lambs

There are people who are like lambs: calm, quiet, tender and without much initiative…

If you are one of those lambs, sorry, but a bit of initiative does a lot for a person’s personal growth and the service of others.

To take initiative or proactivity is an essential quality to live in a very chaotic world in which leadership is missing, a lot! If you don’t have it well developed you will be either waiting for some miracle to happen, trying to avoid situations or complaining about them.

My question would be: how to keep all qualities, but add proactivity? After all, it is wonderful to be a person who cares about others, who don’t get upset and who is always smiling.

If you feel you are a lamb, these are a few things you could be to improve your proactivity:

• Take some time to understand your specialties, those things in which you are EXCELLENT. You always have at least one, it is time to value it more.
• Refocus your life in such a way you can use more and more your specialties.
• When you are facing a situation and you are not confident, remember the best of yourself: your qualities or inner powers. This exercise will help you to experience self-esteem.
• When you are not an expert and you cannot take initiative, help in some other way; remember the experts often are under lots of pressure and there are many things you can do to help them.
• If you are REALLY feeling scared, remember moments in your life when you experienced fearlessness or courage; by doing it, you will invoke those qualities and the fear will diminish.
• It is SO IMPORTANT to not deny your own fears; embrace them and work within to manage those unease feelings.
• Train yourself. The more you are qualified, the more you will feel capable and so it will be very easy to take initiative.

You are the source of harmony - Reason 24

We live together and we flourish as a worldwide big team, because we are human beings and it is in our nature.  Still, things don’t work always as we would like, because, among other reasons, we are so different from each other.

The pursuit of harmony is common nowadays, maybe motivated by the number of interpersonal conflicts.  For that reason, companies hire coaches and consultants to help their teams to work well together, mediators go from country to country to help solve issues and you sit down from time to time to wonder what to do about your own relationships.

It is easier for leaders as they always think of themselves as the ones to generate harmony.  They won’t look for it from others, nor will they wait for others to change, but they will provide that energy from their own actions, attitude and awareness.  To be part of the inner circle of a leader is an opportunity to feel harmony in practical life.

Harmony is something exquisite, because it is based on the truth, peace and mutual good wishes and it can be a healing experience for an entire group.  Where harmony prevails as the constant backdrop for any resolution of momentary conflict, it will be just like a modern piece of art: challenging and beautiful at the same time.

(Excerpt from the book 82 Reasons to be a Leader)

Proactive problem solving

When we deal with situations, the normal approach is reactive: we wait until things happen, and then we act.

What if we act BEFORE things happen? After all, we have so much knowledge, experience and intuition to understand if what is coming is a storm, hail or just a drizzle, and with that knowledge we can dress properly.

This skill requires a deep sense of observation and a lack of labeling. It requires a wide openness from your side, as things sometimes don't show their real appearance and you need to be open for anything that happens.

You have to be careful to not become paranoid... Proactivity is not based on fear, but on trends and observation. Let's see some examples of this skill practically:

• You can sense your son is going to have a hard time in his exams. Fear can generate an attempt of control from your side and you can even try to bully your kid into more and more study. Proactivity helps you to deal with that situation before it happens, so you can help your son emotionally making him understand he is loved no matter what, and you can show him you are available whenever he wants, if he needs some help with his studies.
• One of your salespersons is going for a big client and you can see he won't be able to make the deal. An afraid boss will decrease his employee's self-esteem by giving bad suggestions ("Why don't we send Jane instead?") or offering himself to go with him, but not with the right attitude ("Let's go together, so when things go south, I can fix them."). Proactivity will help you to invest more time in training, to dialogue with your people and to show respect for them in all situations; in this way, the salesman can look easier for help and prevent a failure.
• You can feel your health is not that good... Fear can make you either go for a doctor for any pain you feel, or hide from all doctors as you don't want to hear their diagnose. Proactivity will make you go to a doctor in a regular basis, keep a diet and a routine of exercises that help you to feel healthy, so when you really feel something worse is happening to your body, it is easier to detect, accept and go through a treatment.

Start right now: don't judge, just watch. Be open for changes in life and be prepared, but not afraid of them.

Dealing with situations

As a chief, boss, manager, CEO, father, mother or friend, you are expected to solve situations. That is why you were "hired" or you accepted that position.

For that, you count with some training, even though it was informal. That training probably gave you important tools you use in the day-to-day life: a mother was probably trained by her own mother on how to deal with a teenager who does not want to follow the rules; a CEO will have training on how to save his company, and a boss will sit down with one of her employees to discuss a new project, based on the knowledge she got at university.

But you have probably noticed as situations are getting more and more complex and complicated. Solving a situation is like disentangling a thread... the more you do, it looks even worse.

I am going to explore four basic skills that can help you in dealing different situations that come to you:

• Leadership skills. They will give you the energy and capacity to deal with strong and difficult situations, especially those we normally consider crisis. One focus I will talk about is in relation to give your team what it needs to overcome that crisis.
• Proactive problem solving. Creativity and initiative will help you to deal with situations that are preventing success coming to your organization or team.
• Flexibility. Situations can change at any time, so flexibility, as a skill, can give you an advantage when the change comes.
• Negotiation skills. Many situations come from the human front. Negotiating with others, persuading them from a genuine and win-win point of view can solve problems very easily.

You cannot prevent situations to come, but you can learn how to deal with them, and be successful by doing it.